Huge Age Gap...65/21

[david&who? 10]

Okay, so my Fiance is 21 and I am 65.  I know this is a huge age gap however in the Philippines age is not the deciding factor for young ladies.  Does the US Embassy know this or are they going to give her/us extreme scrutiny at the interview?  How do we prepare for this? We have provided evidence with our initial filing of us being together in the Philippines. We have provided evidence of our engagement, including the Manager of the Hotel who wrote a letter, on hotel letterhead and stated that he was present at the engagement surprise.  We have provided photos together holding up 4 newspapers with the dates on them.  I also provided my boarding passes, etc...  I know the age gap is huge and maybe I am crazy but I believe that my fiance loves me just as much as I love her. 

(In 2013 I went to the Philippines and married a 19 year old girl and brought her to the US.  She walked out on me after 8 years of marriage and two children. I never saw it coming.)  Our divorce was finalized in January 2021.  I knew I could not marry in the Philippines again  as they do not recognize  US Divorce, hence the K-1 visa this time.  Tell me, am I crazy?

 

 

Edited July 7, 2022 by DaveAndRudyLove
Typo

[Timona 4,159]

I see no barricades. 

But you may be on hook for the I-864 in the first one. Is the first already a US Citizen?

 

And were the children yours? 

Edited July 7, 2022 by Timona

[david&who? 10]

4 minutes ago, Timona said:

I see no barricades. 

But you may be on hook for the I-864 in the first one. Is the first already a US Citizen?

 

And were the children yours? 

Yes I have a 5 year old daughter and a two year old son. They are my pride and joy.  They are my kids for sure.  We had to do IVF because I had undergone a vasectomy years ago.  We share custody 50/50.  She became a US Citizen within two years of arriving in the US.

[Daphne . 1,802]

I don’t know if you are crazy, I’ll let you decide that on your own! 
Just hope that this one works out better for you.. 
You mention that you know that “age is not the deciding factor for young ladies”, what do you think are the deciding factors? 

[mytruelove18 607]

3 hours ago, DaveAndRudyLove said:

Okay, so my Fiance is 21 and I am 65.  I know this is a huge age gap however in the Philippines age is not the deciding factor for young ladies.  Does the US Embassy know this or are they going to give her/us extreme scrutiny at the interview?  How do we prepare for this? We have provided evidence with our initial filing of us being together in the Philippines. We have provided evidence of our engagement, including the Manager of the Hotel who wrote a letter, on hotel letterhead and stated that he was present at the engagement surprise.  We have provided photos together holding up 4 newspapers with the dates on them.  I also provided my boarding passes, etc...  I know the age gap is huge and maybe I am crazy but I believe that my fiance loves me just as much as I love her. 

(In 2013 I went to the Philippines and married a 19 year old girl and brought her to the US.  She walked out on me after 8 years of marriage and two children. I never saw it coming.)  Our divorce was finalized in January 2021.  I knew I could not marry in the Philippines again  as they do not recognize  US Divorce, hence the K-1 visa this time.  Tell me, am I crazy?

 

 

All i can tell you that you are almost in the same boat again. If i were you, i stay at Philipine and live there, and see for how long the love of her for you will last.

just to see how she react, tell her that you change your mind about she comes to America and that instead you are planing moving there for good, and whatch her how she will take it.

i am pretty sure once you tell her that she wont be happy. And kepp tell her that for some months and you will see

[david&who? 10]

Just now, Daphne K said:

I don’t know if you are crazy, I’ll let you decide that on your own! 
Just hope that this one works out better for you.. 
You mention that you know that “age is not the deciding factor for young ladies”, what do you think are the deciding factors? 

Security, trust, love, structure, companionship...  All of the Filipinos I have spoken to say that they don't want to marry a Filipino because they are notorious for leaving for another woman, or they just don't want to take responsibility for the child/children.   I know for a fact that this is a common problem in the Philippines leaving many single mothers to fend for them selves.  No alimony, child support, spousal support or responsibility for the cheating boyfriend/husband.  And since the Philippines has no divorce these poor girls are stuck in limbo, never able to marry another.  It's tragic.

[Timona 4,159]

22 minutes ago, Timona said:

I see no barricades. 

But you may be on hook for the I-864 in the first one. Is the first already a US Citizen?

 

And were the children yours? 

 

You have kids so they'll have to be added on I-864. She's a USC so, no need. 

 

However, I'd ask you to give a thought on what the above two have posted. If I were you, considering you've lost a lot in divorce, move to Philippines for 2 years and tell her you've relocated and nolonger returning to US. Tell her you have decided to spend the rest of your life there. Don't mention anything about US visa for her etc. If she's still there after 2 years, then proceed. I just don't want you to be heartbroken. People out here look at their interest first and I'm sure she is.

Edited July 7, 2022 by Timona

[david&who? 10]

5 minutes ago, mytruelove18 said:

All i can tell you that you are almost in the same boat again. If i were you, i stay at Philipine and live there, and see for how long the love of her for you will last.

just to see how she react, tell her that you change your mind about she comes to America and that instead you are planing moving there for good, and whatch her how she will take it.

i am pretty sure once you tell her that she wont be happy. And kepp tell her that for some months and you will see

I would love to and planned on living in the Philippines but I have two beautiful children here now and could not leave them.  I have mentioned the idea of both of us living in the Philippines and she has been enthusiastically positive about that option also.

[Timona 4,159]

8 minutes ago, DaveAndRudyLove said:

Security, trust, love, structure, companionship...  All of the Filipinos I have spoken to say that they don't want to marry a Filipino because they are notorious for leaving for another woman, or they just don't want to take responsibility for the child/children.   I know for a fact that this is a common problem in the Philippines leaving many single mothers to fend for them selves.  No alimony, child support, spousal support or responsibility for the cheating boyfriend/husband.  And since the Philippines has no divorce these poor girls are stuck in limbo, never able to marry another.  It's tragic.

 

All of them want to come to US. I understand and have no issue. However, I'm sure there are great men amongst them but since there's a huge trend of many Filipinas marrying USC, most of the Filipinas are now parked at these busstops waiting for the bus to come and take them to a better land. Be careful. Don't be used. 

 

You're the bus. 

Busstops here just refers to waiting for USC, someone like you

Edited July 7, 2022 by Timona

[Daphne . 1,802]

12 minutes ago, DaveAndRudyLove said:

Security, trust, love, structure, companionship...  All of the Filipinos I have spoken to say that they don't want to marry a Filipino because they are notorious for leaving for another woman, or they just don't want to take responsibility for the child/children.   I know for a fact that this is a common problem in the Philippines leaving many single mothers to fend for them selves.  No alimony, child support, spousal support or responsibility for the cheating boyfriend/husband.  And since the Philippines has no divorce these poor girls are stuck in limbo, never able to marry another.  It's tragic.

It is tragic that this is their only option..

I am out!

Edited July 7, 2022 by Daphne K

[david&who? 10]

3 minutes ago, Timona said:

 

All of them want to come to US. I understand and have no issue. However, I'm sure there are great men amongst them but since there's a huge trend of many Filipinas marrying USC, most of the Filipinas are now parked at these busstops waiting for the bus to come and take them to a better land. Be careful. Don't be used. 

 

You're the bus. 

Busstops here just refers to waiting for USC, someone like you

Thanks, I appreciate your comments.

[Timona 4,159]

See, I read you other thread. You mentioned she left you right after becoming a USC. Think twice and hard this time around. I'm not bashing you but I don't want you to go to your grave early due to a second bird flying away.

 

In my honest opinion, glove aside, the first lady definitely used you and this second one is gonna do the same thing. We all her in VJ see it coming and also saw that the first did exactly that. This new one will toy with you till she gets to US and leaves, just like the first. In my post history on VJ, I've never defended anyone. You're the first and I'm trying to help you see it clearly. 

 

Advice: Move and pitch camp in the Philippines. Your two kiddos will be fine for 2 or 3 years. Talk nothing about US and pitch tent. If after the 3 years she's still by your side, then petition. I'd rather investigate for 3 years than have her here in 3 years and she leaves and you're divorced again after she gets her first GC. 

 

And don't let this new one start telling you about kids. People nowadays, will have a kid for the sake of immigration...I mean, they are gonna get one in the future anyway. So why not with USC and "use it as good evidence of strong relationship?" This is in quotes because it's a common myth. 

 

There's a plethora of threads about foreigners using USC to come in. One man was left at airport by his Ukrainian fiance who he saw get in another car and drive off with another man, all whilst she lied that she was being detained. The guy had rushed to the car park to grab papers to come show CBP. That's when he saw her leave. 

 

There's another one here with lost baggage at Chicago Airport and USC was called "by CBP" to ask if she had picked his luggage. We've not heard from her about this story since she last posted nearly a month ago. She said she was going to Nigeria on July 1st to talk to her lover. We've not heard anything. 

 

 

Edited July 7, 2022 by Timona

[MarJhi 928]

Obviously if you are mentioning the age gap issue then you already have an understanding of the problem, or potential problems. If USCIS questions something, it's because they have seen it a million times and have a pretty good idea where it is going.

 

Since you did it twice, can I ask if you were specifically seeking someone with that much of an age difference or was it just happenstance both times?  Why not find someone with more life experience?

[mushroomspore 3,043]

14 minutes ago, MarJhi said:

Obviously if you are mentioning the age gap issue then you already have an understanding of the problem, or potential problems. If USCIS questions something, it's because they have seen it a million times and have a pretty good idea where it is going.

 

Since you did it twice, can I ask if you were specifically seeking someone with that much of an age difference or was it just happenstance both times?  Why not find someone with more life experience?

I second all of this.

[david&who? 10]

3 minutes ago, Timona said:

See, I read you other thread. You mentioned she left you right after becoming a USC. Think twice and hard this time around. I'm not bashing you but I don't want you to go to your grave early due to a second bird flying away.

 

In my honest opinion, glove aside, the first lady definitely used you and this second one is gonna do the same thing. We all see it coming and also saw that the first did exactly that. This new one will toy with you till she gets to US and leaves, just like the first. In my post history on VJ, I've never defended anyone. You're the first and I'm trying to help you see it clearly. 

 

Advice: Move and pitch camp in the Philippines. Your two kiddos will be fine for 2 or 3 years. Talk nothing about US and pitch tent. If after the 3 years she's still by your side, then petition. I'd rather investigate for 3 years than have her here in 3 years and she leaves and you're divorced again after she gets her first GC. 

 

And don't let this new one start telling you about kids. People nowadays, will have a kid for the sake of immigration...I mean, they are gonna get one in the future anyway. So why not with USC and "use it as good evidence of strong relationship?" This is in quotes because it's a common myth. 

 

 

With all due respect the first Filipina did not use me.  We were married for 8 years. She had her green card and US citizenship after 2 years of marriage.  We had two children, after the US Citizenship together and were very happy.  After having the second child my then wife suffered extreme bleeding in the hospital and went CODE BLUE.  Emergency surgery, ventilator, the whole works. Complete removal of all her her female parts, uterus and Fallopian tubes.  She survived and we were very happy but she became a different woman.  She refused and still refuses to take the female hormones that her doctor prescribed.  This is when our marriage started to go down the tubes.  And I didn't lose much in the divorce.  She wanted very little.  I only pay 529 dollars a month child support.  So she was not a bad person. She was the only one who couldn't see the changes.  I actually feel bad for her but she refuses to take the meds.