7aram or not??

[monnik 0]

So, about a week or two ago, some girl adds DH onto her Skype list and he accepted her. Which is no big deal. It happens every day. He has about 800 contacts. He doesn't reject anybody. hehehee

So, this girl adds him and starts talking to him and telling him that she has a boyfriend who lives in Cairo, she loves Egypt, she is 18 (I think), she wants to move to Egypt and marry him, have 7 kids, and yada yada yada. So, she makes a call to our computer and he accepts it. Well, when she starts talking, I notice that something is different about her voice. I thought that she might be drunk or sleepy, so I didn't think much about it.

She talked to us a couple more times and each time we would ask her questions about her school, family, pets, etc. She said that she is in the remedial classes at her high school and that she will graduate next year. She said she is in special classes and that people make fun of her at school because she is a slow learner. She called us again and her voice was the same. She slurs a little bit, and she makes a lot of random comments. But, otherwise, she is pretty normal.

- let me stop - Actually, she is not so normal. I don't wanna judge her mental state because she may just be a silly teenager. But she was talking about doing the deed with her brother and she said she was 6 weeks pregnant, and the baby was kicking??!?!?!?? She told us that had about 50 guys from Egypt that she talks to online. She looks for Egypt in people's profiles because her best friend is Egyptian/American. Just a lot of crazy silly stuff. Lies mainly. But it's got me thinking.

My question is this: Is it 7aram for someone to marry a mentally challenged person?

I am pretty sure that this guy is using this girl. Maybe he doesn't even know that she has a learning disability or whatever. She copied and pasted some of their conversations and let us read them. His English sucks . He may not even realize how strange their conversations look to someone else who might read them. According to the conversation- He loves her (even though they met about 3 weeks before), he wants to marry her, and every 5 seconds he is asking her to take her clothes off.

Is it against any belief to marry someone schizophrenic? Are there any rules or guidelines about these kinds of things.

I have been wondering about this because DH's brother was born with a lot of complicated medical problems. And, they have basically said that he will never get married. They said that his mom will have to take care of him for the rest of her life. What if someone wanted to marry him? I asked. What if he was in love? They seemed pretty sure it would never happen, but if it did, they said it would be OK.

What do you guys say?

[palilover 1]

Ok wait a minute. Did I read you right? that girl is 6 weeks pregnent with her brother's baby????? dude, thats just nasty! "grabs the barf bag"

Zaram...did you mean haram? I personally don't know of anything haram of marrying someone mentally challenged or handicapped. But I cannot think of any stories in Islam that prove it is halal or haram. I think as long as you treat them right as your husband or wife they are like everyone else.

There are people who try to justify their own prejudices by saying "inshalalh it will just happen" but then they try to prevent it from happening for the person. That's wrong. If Allah wants the person to get married, they will get married handicapped or not. But you cannot stand in the person's way preventing it saying "inshalalh it will happen" in their face.

Due to the fact that society places so much prejudice agaisnt handicapped people or people who do not look right, I would like to think there might be some reward or something for marrying someone like that.

But the guy does sound like a #### though. Asking her to take her clothes off online.....yeah he's playing. He probably does that to every girl he sees....online and offline. At least tell her to get rid of him. And the saddest thing is is that she probably does not understand that he is using her......either because of her being mentally challenged or because girls just like it when guys say I love you for some reason.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Zaram...did you mean haram?

"7".... not "Z"

7 = Ha (the strong "H" sound)

Often numerals are used when transliterating Arabic words into the Roman alphabet, to indicate letters for which there are no equivalents.

What interesting people one can meet on the net

Edited July 17, 2007 by wife_of_mahmoud

[doodlebug 3]

I think it's pretty much haram to sleep with your brother and take your clothes off in front of a webcam.

Next time she calls, don't pick up the phone. Sounds like a whacko just messing with ya. Surely there are better things to do with your time.

[palilover 1]

Of courese it is haram to sleep with your bro and undress in front of a web cam, lol I was meaning not haram to marry a person who is slow. lol

[ya falaha! 0]

Indeed!

What interesting people one can meet on the net

Personally, Monnik, I'd have your husband delete her from his contact list and forget this whole thing happened. You really don't want to get involved with ppl like this. Who knows if she's even being honest about anything she says. She may just be a teenager messing around with ppl online.

About the Egyptian she's supposedly engaged to...there are a million of this kind of scum in chatrooms all over the net.

I wouldn't get involved any further, if I were you.

About marriage to a mentally challenged person being haram...I don't think it's haram if the other party is entering the marriage with good intentions. If they truly love and want to care for the mentally challenged individual then I don't see anything wrong with it.

Edited July 17, 2007 by moody

[doodlebug 3]

Of courese it is haram to sleep with your bro and undress in front of a web cam, lol I was meaning not haram to marry a person who is slow. lol

Well I hope it's not haram since a lot of times I'm not that quick myself!!!

[monnik 0]

Indeed!

What interesting people one can meet on the net

Personally, Monnik, I'd have your husband delete her from his contact list and forget this whole thing happened. You really don't want to get involved with ppl like this. Who knows if she's even being honest about anything she says. She may just be a teenager messing around with ppl online.

About the Egyptian she's supposedly engaged to...there are a million of this kind of scum in chatrooms all over the net.

I wouldn't get involved any further, if I were you.

About marriage to a mentally challenged person being haram...I don't think it's haram if the other party is entering the marriage with good intentions. If they truly love and want to care for the mentally challenged individual then I don't see anything wrong with it.

Yeah. You're right. We did delete her. We wanted to help her understand more about Egyptian culture and maybe help her realize that he was a jerk, but she was not having it. After the talk about her brother, she became more annoying than anything else. I just wondered if it would be 7aram or not. Especially since I worry about my husband's little brother. I think about his future and I know how much importance Egyptians place on finding a wife and making a family. I just wanted to get a broader perspective on how people see these things.

[Alhamdulillah 0]

There is a wonderful feature on Yahoo messenger called "block" surely it's available on Skype as well?

Edited July 19, 2007 by Alhamdulillah