Fiancee is ready for a baby....

[GinoNiña 182]

5 hours ago, RO_AH said:

My coworker just had a baby at 41. No issues at all. I was 54 and 55 when my last 2 boys were born.

Sorry but you are buying something being sold that simply isn't true.Who says that the world is over populated. Maybe take a look at google earth for a while. You could fit the entire world population in one state with each person having 1,000 ft. Of course that's not feasible but it does show that the earth is VERY big and can support more.

Like you I am approaching in my mid 50ś.  Sometimes I am worried if I still want  to make a baby at  this age, that child is  going to have an old dad by the time he/she turns 10.  I probably will have to stay working past 65 years old. My fiancee is 100% sure about having a baby but Im 50/50 in my part. 

 

By the way, I am belong to  the class of 1990 from Farrington HS. Aloha Brah!!

[RO_AH 1,659]

5 hours ago, GinoNiña said:

Like you I am approaching in my mid 50ś.  Sometimes I am worried if I still want  to make a baby at  this age, that child is  going to have an old dad by the time he/she turns 10.  I probably will have to stay working past 65 years old. My fiancee is 100% sure about having a baby but Im 50/50 in my part. 

 

By the way, I am belong to  the class of 1990 from Farrington HS. Aloha Brah!!

I have an older son who is 29 in July. I thought I was done also due to my age. After meeting my wife and into our relationship I felt I did want not to deprive her of children since she did not have any. So I agreed to 1. Well that turned into 2 lol. I am very happy and blessed.. At 58 I still have a lot of life in me. My 2 youngest are an absolute joy (when they are not being makulit) and I am very happy with my life.

[Redro 4,611]

5 hours ago, GinoNiña said:

Like you I am approaching in my mid 50ś.  Sometimes I am worried if I still want  to make a baby at  this age, that child is  going to have an old dad by the time he/she turns 10.  I probably will have to stay working past 65 years old. My fiancee is 100% sure about having a baby but Im 50/50 in my part. 

 

By the way, I am belong to  the class of 1990 from Farrington HS. Aloha Brah!!

If you are unsure about having a kid 

100% I would wait until your partner gets to the US. 

You do not want to miss out on being able to see your partner pregnant. Getting to be there for the birth. And being there for the first months and years while your child develops. 

This could impact your ability to bond with the child when they finally move to the US. 

Give this potential baby the best possible start at life. 

3 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

I have an older son who is 29 in July. I thought I was done also due to my age. After meeting my wife and into our relationship I felt I did want not to deprive her of children since she did not have any. So I agreed to 1. Well that turned into 2 lol. I am very happy and blessed.. At 58 I still have a lot of life in me. My 2 youngest are an absolute joy (when they are not being makulit) and I am very happy with my life.

OP's partner has a 14 year old. So, she is not being deprived of children. Just deprived of a second. 

[RO_AH 1,659]

15 minutes ago, ROK2USA said:

This could impact your ability to bond with the child when they finally move to the US. 

Give this potential baby the best possible start at life. 

This could? My sons were 2 and 3 when they finally arrived here and we are bonding just fine. While in PH they saw me for 2 hours every day in Skype and I went there whenever I could. She could be here before she has a baby if not shortly after. Non issue in my book.

15 minutes ago, ROK2USA said:

OP's partner has a 14 year old. So, she is not being deprived of children. Just deprived of a second. 

I was giving my story, I understand that is not his situation and never said it was. Also if you understand Filipino culture having lots of kids is important if not expected.

5 hours ago, GinoNiña said:

By the way, I am belong to  the class of 1990 from Farrington HS. Aloha Brah!!

My brother just sold his house in Mililani Mauka and he is moving to Wahington in a few weeks. My neice (his daughter) moved there about a year ago.

 

Aloha back!

Edited May 17, 2022 by RO_AH

[Redro 4,611]

8 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

This could? My sons were 2 and 3 when they finally arrived here and we are bonding just fine. While in PH they saw me for 2 hours every day in Skype and I went there whenever I could. She could be here before she has a baby if not shortly after. Non issue in my book.

I was giving my story, I understand that is not his situation and never said it was. Also if you understand Filipino culture having lots of kids is important if not expected.

My brother just sold his house in Mililani Mauka and he is moving to Wahington in a few weeks. My neice (his daughter) moved there about a year ago.

 

Aloha back!

Yes. 

COULD  not WILL. 

OP seems unsure about having a child. 

Just raising a potential issue. 

You're giving your opinion and I am giving mine. 

I mentioned in a previous post if he really wanted a kid he should be trying on the next visit and not wait for February. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

*** Gentle reminded to stick to helping the OP so to not derail the thread.

 

VJ Moderation

[GinoNiña 182]

50 minutes ago, Unlockable said:

*** Gentle reminded to stick to helping the OP so to not derail the thread.

 

VJ Moderation

Nah, I think their debate is within a scope of childbearing/raising. Just got migrated to a similar important issue. I like it. 

[GinoNiña 182]

9 hours ago, RO_AH said:

I have an older son who is 29 in July. I thought I was done also due to my age. After meeting my wife and into our relationship I felt I did want not to deprive her of children since she did not have any. So I agreed to 1. Well that turned into 2 lol. I am very happy and blessed.. At 58 I still have a lot of life in me. My 2 youngest are an absolute joy (when they are not being makulit) and I am very happy with my life.

Good for you. I’m now slowly increasing my desire to have one of my own. Thanks to you.
 

If you have spare time read my piece titled Future I-129f filers, and tell me what you think.