Fiancee is ready for a baby....

[GinoNiña 182]

Due to an enormous backlog my fiancee and I are thinking of having a baby while she is awaiting for her K1 visa interview. Our noa1 is 03/31/2022. 

My question is about how much monetary support should I provide for her during her pregnancy? Im going to see her next year February. That is when we both  agreed for our baby making process. She is 38 yrs old and lives with her parents. She has a 14 year old son and no permanent income. Im 52 yrs old with a stable income. 

Second question is: does a pregnancy or having a baby would interfere K1 process? 

 

Thanks is advance...

[Crazy Cat 41,982]

It could mean a delay if she is too close to delivery to fly.  It will mean another K-2.

On a personal note, I would be very cautious....very.

 

Edited May 13, 2022 by Crazy Cat

[Crazy Cat 41,982]

Why is the backlog even relevant?  I find it curious that having a newborn is even discussed at this stage....my opinion.  I would exercise a great deal of caution....I would wait.

Edited May 13, 2022 by Crazy Cat

[mushroomspore 3,044]

24 minutes ago, GinoNiña said:

Due to an enormous backlog my fiancee and I are thinking of having a baby while she is awaiting for her K1 visa interview. Our noa1 is 03/31/2022. 

My question is about how much monetary support should I provide for her during her pregnancy? Im going to see her next year February. That is when we both  agreed for our baby making process. She is 38 yrs old and lives with her parents. She has a 14 year old son and no permanent income. Im 52 yrs old with a stable income. 

Second question is: does a pregnancy or having a baby would interfere K1 process? 

 

Thanks is advance...

Honestly you're gonna get people advising you to not even attempt to start conceiving until after she has entered the US with her approved K1. The visa process and pregnancies are both unpredictable. The financial aspect is fine. It is the timing aspect that is dangerous. If she has some kind of pregnancy related emergency too close to her interview and she suddenly becomes unable to attend, you risk putting yourself in a position where you guys aren't able to notify the consulate in time to reschedule. The consulate will NOT be extra accommodating or helpful to you guys just because you guys are expecting. If the pregnancy interferes with the K1 process or even completely derails it, the consulate will simply say, "Nobody told you to get pregnant now and risk the K1 process. You guys had the option of waiting until after the K1 to conceive." At that point, the consulate will tell you guys need to wait for a new interview to be scheduled or to start over completely, depending on how it plays out.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Be careful.

Some women will get pregnant to trap a man.  She may be thinking that your baby assures her immigration to the US.  

[MarJhi 963]

58 minutes ago, GinoNiña said:

Due to an enormous backlog my fiancee and I are thinking of having a baby while she is awaiting for her K1 visa interview. Our noa1 is 03/31/2022. 

My question is about how much monetary support should I provide for her during her pregnancy? Im going to see her next year February. That is when we both  agreed for our baby making process. She is 38 yrs old and lives with her parents. She has a 14 year old son and no permanent income. Im 52 yrs old with a stable income. 

Second question is: does a pregnancy or having a baby would interfere K1 process? 

 

Thanks is advance...

Well considering this baby will probably be a year old by the time your fiance gets her interview you better plan on monetary support beyond just during her pregnancy. I understand she is 38 and her clock is ticking, but the timing of her getting pregnant in the middle of what will probably be a 2 year process is not ideal.

 

Good luck.

[Holly&Andreas 38]

I was living with my husband in his country for 18 months and though we both desperately want kids, we never seriously considered trying for a baby while I was there. We knew it was not the right time, especially since I would be coming back to the US to start the immigration process for him. I could not imagine going through pregnancy without my husband with me. 

 

Is there a reason why you and your fiancée are thinking about trying for a baby at this stage in the immigration process? Depending on how long it takes, she will go through the pregnancy alone, the birth alone and the first months/year of the baby's life without you being there. As someone else pointed out, immigration is unpredictable. What if there are delays or her visa is denied? Then she is there with your baby and you will be missing out on a lot. You mentioned you have a stable income but how often will you be able to visit her? 

 

I just wouldn't risk it, and the timing seems a bit odd. 

[Adventine 3,201]

 

52 minutes ago, GinoNiña said:

Due to an enormous backlog my fiancee and I are thinking of having a baby while she is awaiting for her K1 visa interview. Our noa1 is 03/31/2022. 

My question is about how much monetary support should I provide for her during her pregnancy? Im going to see her next year February. That is when we both  agreed for our baby making process. She is 38 yrs old and lives with her parents. She has a 14 year old son and no permanent income. Im 52 yrs old with a stable income. 

Second question is: does a pregnancy or having a baby would interfere K1 process? 

 

Thanks is advance...

 

Having a baby won't really expedite your case. This question pops up fairly regularly on the forums. So much that there's a pinned post about it:

 

 

 

Now as to how much money should you send her to support the baby: how long is a piece of string? It all depends on what kind of lifestyle you want your family to have in the Philippines. Nobody can answer that except you and your fiancee.

 

Don't make the visa process harder, more complicated and more stressful than it has to be. A pregnancy will do all that.

 

 

 

[GinoNiña 182]

Good come backs. Thanks.

We chose February for baby making because at that time we should have an idea on where her place in the interview pool. USCIS estimated to be 10-13 months for K1 visa for process. 

Next year February, we already have accumulated 11 months in, so the interview would take place within 6 months. 

She is ok without my presence if she becomes pregnant and or giving birth. she has a very supportive family she can rely on. 

 

I am not using having a baby to expedite our case. 

 

She asked for 50K pesos/month. its about $1000.

 

FYI: I have no kids of my own. 

[flicks1998 1,044]

8 minutes ago, GinoNiña said:

Good come backs. Thanks.

We chose February for baby making because at that time we should have an idea on where her place in the interview pool. USCIS estimated to be 10-13 months for K1 visa for process. 

Next year February, we already have accumulated 11 months in, so the interview would take place within 6 months. 

She is ok without my presence if she becomes pregnant and or giving birth. she has a very supportive family she can rely on. 

 

I am not using having a baby to expedite our case. 

 

She asked for 50K pesos/month. its about $1000.

 

FYI: I have no kids of my own. 

The team I managed while working in Makati made 15K to 30K pesos a month.  All of these team members had 4 year degrees.  The foreign company HR departments I interacted with (Coca Cola, HSBC, Chevron, Phillip Morris, etc etc) made around 35K to 65K for more senior positions.  

 

If your finance will be living in Makati and renting her own condo, I can see 50K being OK to cover rent, food, utilities, doctor appointments, etc.  If your fiance will be living with family or living in the province, 50K is insanely high.  In these cases, 15K to 20K would be more than enough.

[mushroomspore 3,044]

18 minutes ago, GinoNiña said:

Good come backs. Thanks.

We chose February for baby making because at that time we should have an idea on where her place in the interview pool. USCIS estimated to be 10-13 months for K1 visa for process. 

Next year February, we already have accumulated 11 months in, so the interview would take place within 6 months. 

She is ok without my presence if she becomes pregnant and or giving birth. she has a very supportive family she can rely on. 

 

I am not using having a baby to expedite our case. 

 

She asked for 50K pesos/month. its about $1000.

 

FYI: I have no kids of my own. 

It's ultimately your guys' choice as it is your lives. But as we've pointed out, it's not advisable as both the immigration process and pregnancy process are very unpredictable. It is possible the interview may happen much sooner or much later than you're expecting. Any complications related to the immigration process become part of the record forever and because of their bureaucratic nature, there is no way to know how long it may take to work around the complications, even something as seemingly simple as rescheduling an interview. There is no way to know exactly how her pregnancy, birthing process and post-partum recovery will go and how all that may affect her ability to travel when the time comes.

[GinoNiña 182]

4 hours ago, Crazy Cat said:

Why is the backlog even relevant?  I find it curious that having a newborn is even discussed at this stage....my opinion.  I would exercise a great deal of caution....I would wait.

Well let see if I can make a sense. Base on my extensive researched, backlog may clear up at least a year from now. 

So, to not waste time (on my part,getting older) might as well use this waiting period more productive. 

[aaron2020 11,651]

8 minutes ago, GinoNiña said:

Well let see if I can make a sense. Base on my extensive researched, backlog may clear up at least a year from now. 

So, to not waste time (on my part,getting older) might as well use this waiting period more productive. 

Dude.  Do you not see the red flags that everyone is trying to warn you about?

 

She has no job.  She wants you to send her what is twice what a college graduate makes in her neck of the wood.  Wow.  That's living on the wages of two college educated professionals.

How many time have you met?  Once? 

Get a clue on what she wants by you making her a baby.  You are a big ATM dispensing free money.

[mushroomspore 3,044]

17 minutes ago, aaron2020 said:

Dude.  Do you not see the red flags that everyone is trying to warn you about?

 

She has no job.  She wants you to send her what is twice what a college graduate makes in her neck of the wood.  Wow.  That's living on the wages of two college educated professionals.

How many time have you met?  Once? 

Get a clue on what she wants by you making her a baby.  You are a big ATM dispensing free money.

I have to agree that this is something to take into consideration. It's just an unfortunate risk inherent in most international relationships going through the immigration process (in any country but the US is still especially coveted by many people globally). I don't see the logic in trying to undergo the pregnancy in this manner or what the exact benefits are in doing it this way. It's just increasing the likelihood of things going wrong or complicated with the K1. Plus, everyone forgets that immigrants need time to adjust to the US due to culture shock. Add a baby or infant on top of that and that could easily become too much for some people to handle. This needs to be taken one step at a time. 

[GinoNiña 182]

1 minute ago, aaron2020 said:

Dude.  Do you not see the red flags that everyone is trying to warn you about?

 

She has no job.  She wants you to send her what is twice what a college graduate makes in her neck of the wood.  Wow.  That's living on the wages of two college educated professionals.

How many time have you met?  Once? 

Get a clue on what she wants by you making her a baby.  You are a big ATM dispensing free money.

 Thanks for the advise. 

 

I was born and raised there. Still speak the language fluent and never lost the culture in me. I  spent 34 days with  her ,interrupted,  living in various hotels, introduced me to her family. Her and I slept in  same room over  her  parents house. I made namanhikan (asked her  parents to marry her). 

Im going to see her this august for 3weeks and on February next year. 

 

But  your are right. its too much money she is asking. Thanks for the other members input.  I need to  negotiate with her about that.

People from the philippines knows that our dollar is 51x than their money, they assume that we are rich.