WIfe keeps threatening me that she will go to the battered shelter (merged)

[rollitup 1]

My spouse temporary visa is almost up, and I don't feel to be abused anymore, am I still responsible even if government gives my spouse the ability to stay and work here?

[Lil bear 4,219]

13 minutes ago, rollitup said:

My spouse temporary visa is almost up, and I don't feel to be abused anymore, am I still responsible even if government gives my spouse the ability to stay and work here?

I 864 obligation is not terminated with a divorce .. only when the beneficiary

1. Has 40 quarters SS credits or 

2. Becomes a USC.  or

3 Dies 

[Mike E 11,739]

6 minutes ago, rollitup said:

My spouse temporary visa is almost up, and I don't feel to be abused anymore, am I still responsible even if government gives my spouse the ability to stay and work here?

Your responsibilities under I-864 continue until

 

1. she can be credited with 40 SS credits 

 

2. she becomes a U.S. citizen 

 

3. She loses LPR status 

 

4. She passes 

 

5. You pass

 

Criterium 1 is complex and doesn’t necessarily mean she has to work 10 years / 40 quarters.

 

 1. Credits you earned while married to her count for I-864 purposes 

 

2. If you were married 10 years or more she qualifies for SS if you do even if she divorces you.  Some  lawyers think your I-864 obligation ends.  
 

3. If she was married 10

years to anyone else prior to or after your marriage, she qualifies for SS if that person qualifies for SS. Again some lawyers think your I-864 obligation ends.  

 

 

 

[mindthegap 2,590]

No.

You remain bound to the I-864 until they cease to be a permanent resident, which will only happen if they
a) file an i-407 relinquishing their status
b) receive a final order of removal from an immigration judge, at which point they are no longer a permanent resident. 

c) they have worked 40 quarters (so, effectively 10 years of SS contributions if contiunous)

d) you die

e) they die

d) they become a US citizen

 

Aside from those specific actions, you are on the hook for the I-864 that you signed, submitted, and agreed to. 

 

 

1 hour ago, rollitup said:

My spouse temporary visa is almost up

  It isn't a visa, or a temporary visa. It is a permanent resident card. They are a permanent resident.

 

1 hour ago, rollitup said:

and I don't feel to be abused anymore,

Are you being abused by your spouse? If so, please get help. 

This has little to do with immigration though. 

 

1 hour ago, rollitup said:

Am I still responsible even if government gives my spouse the ability to stay and work here?

They already have the ability to stay and work here. Whether they successfully remove conditions with a divorce waiver is not your concern, nor are you involved in that process. 

 

 

You sponsored your spouse. You willingly partook in the process. Your spouse isn't an amazon package you can simply return if you change your mind once you realise you don't like it.

 

 

 

 

Edited May 11, 2022 by mindthegap

[JeanneAdil 6,511]

The 10 year part is a bit more complicated 

the person must earn 40 credits but to receive 4 credits a year the following applies 

so, encourage your spouse to work or better yet,  naturalize

 

https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/ifyou.html

 

In 2022, you earn one Social Security or Medicare credit for every $1,510 in covered earnings each year. You must earn $6,040 to get the maximum four credits for the year.

 

Plus a person does not qualify completely after working 10 years / person must be at least  62 or if a widow/widower and the deceased spouse is collecting SSA 

[Mike E 11,739]

I believe once  the LPR “can be credited” with 40 quarters, the I-864 obligation ends whether the LPR reaches age 62 or not and whether those quarters actually show up in the SS earnings record.

 

See https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0500502135

 

“

5. Qualifying Quarter (QQ)

A qualifying quarter is credit for a requisite amount of covered earnings and/or noncovered earnings assigned to a calendar quarter for the purpose of determining SSI eligibility of a LAPR alien.

For purposes of establishing the SSI eligibility of a LAPR, a QQ is a QQ earned by:

• •

  The LAPR alien himself/herself; and/or

• •

  a parent(s) (as defined in SI 00501.010A.2. and verified per SI 00502.140D.2.a., but with no requirement of living in the same household except in holding-out relationships, as defined in SI 00501.152 and developed per SI 00502.145B.3.) in periods in which the alien was under age 18; and /or

• •

  a spouse(s) (as defined in SI 00501.150B.1. and developed per SI 00502.145) during their marriage if the marriage continues or the spouse is deceased.”

  
  So further to my belief, IOW an LPR (SSA uses the term LAPR) can qualify for SSI with fewer than 40 quarters worked because quarters worked by the spouse during the marriage count.  And since the LPR qualifies for SSI, this means the I-864 obligation ends. 

[HarryWL 262]

Yes you are responsible. You signed the legally binding document to which you agreed to. That document isn't nulled just because it doesn't work for you anymore. Encourage the LPR to become a citizen after 5 years, that's the easiest for you to get off the hook. 

 

 

[Cheschirecat 176]

Put up hidden cameras… 

call 911 if she assaults you 

divorce 

 

[David & Paulyn 22]

On 5/9/2022 at 11:17 AM, Pinkrlion said:

File for divorce and move on.  This ploy is not uncommon from some from her country.  She will be trying to use you shortly and have you arrested.  

Her country has nothing to do with anything. I have been married to a Filipina for 11 years (we've been together for 15 years) and she is one of the best people I know.

[Gawain 23]

TONS of great suggestions here in this post.  Here is my 2-cents for anyone considering a divorce with a foreign spouse:

 

IF you file for divorce, you don't immediately need a divorce lawyer.  Go down to the courthouse, file for divorce (pay the fee), get the summons, and GO TO A PROCESS SERVER and have her personally served by someone OTHER THAN YOU.

 

You can eliminate a lot of potential LEGAL ####### by doing it this way (disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer and this should not be construed as legal advice.  I'm not always right - but usually I am).

Then you can hire a lawyer (if you want) after you do this.

 

 

 

 

[Quell 3]

On 5/9/2022 at 12:12 PM, rollitup said:

What rights do I have as a man? and what can I do?

Her two year visa is up in September. 

My wife is unhappy with our marriage. When she is happy she does many things to help out, cooking, cleaning, ironing and I do appreciate all that but even then we had too many fights about how controlling she is. Now she's getting advice from a Filipina friend to just go to the shelter so she can start her new life. Every time she gets mad she brings all her clothes downstairs from the room. She gets so jealous and makes make believe stories in her head. If she hears the neighbors that she is jealous about laughing together she thinks they are laughing at her. She gets explosively angry, tearing my shirt. I cant go in the front yard without a potential problem because she thinks I like the neighbors. I cant go into the bathroom with my phone because she thinks I will message a woman. She's very controlling about one of my sisters that I have its always monitored conversations and questions when I do call my sister without her. She's injured my ribs, drilled my hand, punched me slapped me, etc.

 

So recently she left and I went to find her and bring her back. But every time I don't agree with her she keeps threatening me that she will go in the battered woman's shelter. And she almost did it the last time. Before when we would argue she would threaten me buy saying she wanted to go home forever.  After about 100 times of hearing that I finally agreed. She changed her tone and now I feel suffocated into going to that interview in September. It took years to get her the annulment and now married almost 3 years so if I want a divorce she guilts me by saying I wasted 12 years of her life and she will fight for her rights. 

I don't know what to do anymore, all I know is I am not happy at all. 

 

Ur not saying the full story

 

[Nonie 2]

Get a divorce lawyer and be brutally honest with them.  Make sure to change the locks if she plays the attention games and heads off to a shelter.  Set up a separate bank account that she can't access, that's if you have a joint account, and stop any deposits into that account; just don't close that account.  She's wasting your life more than she might claim you've wasted her's.

[Eric and Hope 7]

It’s over.

 If you can rescind anything rescind it.

 Gather evidence and have a dash cam / nanny cam / whatever.

 Never lose your temper and every time she does keep a journal 

Be the first to file for protection order as soon as she does anything like throw things break things, block you in when you try to leave, electronic surveillance against you.  Call the police and get a police report or two to back up your case.  
when you are ready file for divorce and don’t Warn her about it just have the papers served.

 Protect yourself above all.  She could put you in jail and take everything if you don’t protect yourself.

 But get it completely through your head that it is over.

[Rocio0010 5,579]

2 hours ago, Quell said:

Ur not saying the full story

How do you know that ?

[MarJhi 963]

She has essentially told you that she is going to set you up. Get out before it's too late.