In-Laws

[MrsBruce5 0]

Hello !

My in-laws are amazing ! I couldn't ask for better. They are kind, considerate, warm and A LOT of fun to be around.

Sadly though, they live in the UK, and we won't get to hang out with them as often as we would like to. If they were here in NY, I can honestly say I'd have them over for dinner at least 3x per week. I truly enjoy their company. We are actually buying a sleeper sofa (for us-they'll get the bedroom) for now, when they come to visit. We have a spare room as well, which was my office. Within the year, we'll will be converting it into a guest bedroom for them for as soon as finances permit. Typically, I hate having house guests, but not in this case-they are always welcome here.

-Rose

[Kez/JWolf 6]

First time I spoke to my MIL she had me in tears within 5 mins.... she accused me of only wanting to marry her son to get a Greencard.... she also informed me that I would never benefit from their money....

My Husband does not work because of a disability so I have to work to pay our rent and bills... even now she makes me feel like the poor relative... when she invites us to go out for dinner and then will say "Oh you cant afford to eat there.. Sorry"

I try to be friendly to her but well I just dont fit in her social circle...

Kezzie

[Ephesia 0]

First time I spoke to my MIL she had me in tears within 5 mins.... she accused me of only wanting to marry her son to get a Greencard.... she also informed me that I would never benefit from their money....

My Husband does not work because of a disability so I have to work to pay our rent and bills... even now she makes me feel like the poor relative... when she invites us to go out for dinner and then will say "Oh you cant afford to eat there.. Sorry"

I try to be friendly to her but well I just dont fit in her social circle...

Kezzie

Wow Kezzie, that made me really sad.

[Cdnwmn 0]

First time I spoke to my MIL she had me in tears within 5 mins.... she accused me of only wanting to marry her son to get a Greencard.... she also informed me that I would never benefit from their money....

My Husband does not work because of a disability so I have to work to pay our rent and bills... even now she makes me feel like the poor relative... when she invites us to go out for dinner and then will say "Oh you cant afford to eat there.. Sorry"

I try to be friendly to her but well I just dont fit in her social circle...

Kezzie

How awful. You are the breadwinner yet your MIL accused you of getting to the U.S. for a greencard? Oh please. Then she makes that other remark when you go out for dinner? How pathetic is she? I'd be striking her off the "people to associate with" list but that is just me - MIL or no MIL.

[rejane 1]

That s a pretty interesting question....

Well by what to start.

My Mil and Fil are living 50 miles away from them so we got to see them a all lot.

The only problem is that they always called us on sunday stating we will be there in one hours so whatever we are doing we have to stop.

Things had been really different the past 3 months as I m pregnant I do not have aways the same energy to put with them ...

They usually arriving at 5 pm and leaving at 11pm....

My mother in law is some times making nasty comments...

As for exemple hubby and I are off to France for Eater, and it s been over 1 year than i haven t seen my parents...

She told us that we should reschedule to spend easter with all the family.... well we are going anyway.

As i changed job recently i have been pretty busy and hubby and I didn t had a lot of times for us so right now we are trying to do not see then every week end... to spend more times together..

They realtly nice people but some times i need a break

[Donal78 0]

We are living with Kristina's parents until we get settled and can afford to buy a house. So prob 6 months max.

I get on great with her mother and dad. I like the way they respect my opinion and think very highly of me. The problem i have is their little dog. He rules the house and constantly barks non stop. He drives us nuts. Going to get him trained after the wedding.

Its strange also but i feel closer to my own family back home in ireland now given the distance as well.

[j&js 0]

Kezzie (and others with in-law issues) I am so sorry you have to deal with this! Is not seeing them an option?

[chocolaterie 0]

First time I spoke to my MIL she had me in tears within 5 mins.... she accused me of only wanting to marry her son to get a Greencard.... she also informed me that I would never benefit from their money....

My Husband does not work because of a disability so I have to work to pay our rent and bills... even now she makes me feel like the poor relative... when she invites us to go out for dinner and then will say "Oh you cant afford to eat there.. Sorry"

I try to be friendly to her but well I just dont fit in her social circle...

Kezzie

kezzie,

I can not believe she would treat you that way. She needs to realize her lil' boy is not a boy anymore and he can choose whoever he wants to marry. She needs to get over herself.

[KarenCee 3]

First time I spoke to my MIL she had me in tears within 5 mins.... she accused me of only wanting to marry her son to get a Greencard.... she also informed me that I would never benefit from their money....

My Husband does not work because of a disability so I have to work to pay our rent and bills... even now she makes me feel like the poor relative... when she invites us to go out for dinner and then will say "Oh you cant afford to eat there.. Sorry"

I try to be friendly to her but well I just dont fit in her social circle...

Kezzie

kezzie,

I can not believe she would treat you that way. She needs to realize her lil' boy is not a boy anymore and he can choose whoever he wants to marry. She needs to get over herself.

Some moms have a hard time "letting go". I'm not defending the woman though. The only one who can stop her behaviour is her son. I'm so sorry Kezzie... hugsssssss.

[dingding 0]

My Inlaws are great. We don't see them very often as they live in Couer de'Alene ID and we live down in TN at the moment. I speak to them often on the phone. As I said they are great people and more like friends. However Kerri's mom does like to tell us what she thinks we should to. Keeps telling us we should invest in property etc, I really don't think she realises that we don't have the finances available that they have. Her step dad is also a good guy. He is a retired Marine Colonel so can be a little intense and intimidating to some people (though not me anymore - we get on very well) , though he does keep trying to push hunting on me, and has a tendency to repeat himself alot. We were watching the last 25 minutes of the movie, "The Aviator" together the last time we visited, and he told me no fewer than 9 times in 25 minutes "This is a true story".

Kerri's Dad again is a top guy, however he is a retired cop and is always right even when he isnt if you know what I mean. Her step mom is only about 6-8 years older than her, again she is really nice, but kinda shy. She has a tendancy to disappear upstairs whenever we visit.

[ktun 0]

How does it work with my in laws? Well, it doesn't.

Things were okay until Thanksgiving, then my MIL and my husband had an arguement and we left. There was a brief get together on Christmas day at my FILs house (MIL and FIL divorced over 20 yrs ago) and she totally ignored me. Then recently my FIL told my husband basically that he thought I was being lazy because I wasn't working (well, no EAD, no work, he doesn't get that) and then that no-one would employ me because of my weight (I was a US size 8 when I first came here, now a 12-14). Well, there is nothing I can do about that right now, I need to get my thyroid meds adjusted and cant afford the $200 office visit and lab tests that I was quoted.

So we haven't spoken to MIL since Christmas and not to FIL for the past month or so. I really dont understand them. Perhaps they think that I'm just here for the chance of some inheritance or something. Well, I had a much better life in England, and like Kezzie, my husband is disabled so I will be the one suporting him, not the other way around. I've been really hurt by their reactions to me. Whilst I didnt expect them to adore me instantly or anything, I thought they would at least show some interest and perhaps some encouragement. But they only discourage us. I've spent many an hour in tears over it. Craig says that it isn't to do with me, it's him. They see him as a "problem" and because I married him, I must be a problem too.

The worst thing they've done so far was on Christmas Day. They totally ignored me pretty much the whole day and then around 5pm my husband's ex wife showed up to collect their daughter. After ignoring me the whole time, they went outside to the car and were hugging her and kissing her like she was their long-lost beloved daughter-in-law. This is the woman who destroyed their son both physically and emotionally, stole thousands of dollars from them and has prevented any of them from seeing their daughter/grandaughter for the past 10 years.

[Fandango 1,439]

Kezzie...that's horrible! No matter what her issues are, she doesn't have to be fluckin cruel about it....what does your hubby say? Ktun...omG.....keep strong and don't let those judgemental azzholes upset you.

I'm so sorry to all of you with monster in laws...my first MIL was by far the most awful horrible woman I have ever had the displeasure to meet in my entire life. I know what it feels like! But the thing you all have to remember is just to say 'f$%^ em' cos they can't bother you if you don't let them.

Edited April 3, 2006 by LisaD

[Fischkoepfin 1]

I get along with my in-laws pretty well, and I like them a lot. I'm not too sure if that cuts both ways though because I sometimes get bad vibes when we visit. My husband assures my that my in-laws like me, so I'll trust him until I can prove they don't.

I'm sure that there are some disagreements between us and that there will be more disagreements in the future, especially once we have children, but that's ok as long as neither side takes it personally.

The only thing that bothers me is that my in-laws insist on us spending more time with them and going on vacation with them. If I had tons of vacation time that would be fine, but I prefer doing something else during my vacation than hang out with family. Another problem is that they stress the importance of family but don't really understand that I need to spend time with my own family as well. My husband is not much of a support in those situations because he doesn't really like to get on bad terms with his parents. But I think those are pretty normal issues...

[Kajikit 65]

My in-laws have been dead for almost twenty years, so there's not much I have to worry about in that department! My sister-in-laws are nice and we see them every four to six months. I'd like to see them more often but they don't live in the area

We talk to my parents almost every day on the computer and phone them once a week and I get John to talk to them too...

[Fandango 1,439]

I forgot to answer....my in-laws are lovely people & we get along fantastically.