Happy Easter to All

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Happy Easter, Happy Passover, and best of the season to those who celebrate something else or nothing.

 

In honor of the religious holidays:

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The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.  After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and that they should not interfere with God's will.

 

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry.  The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide in the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves.  The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the next week.

 

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures, so they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.  Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down their water-slide.

 

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path.  They set out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning.  They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

 

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy -- they baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church.  Now they see them only at Christmas and Easter.

 

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue.  They took the first squirrel and circumcised him.  They haven't seen a squirrel since.

 

[Dashinka 24,629]

Happy Easter to all those that follow the Gregorian Calendar, and those that follow the Julian Calendar, Happy Easter next Sunday.

[TBoneTX 45,572]

And, for those who have trouble following calendars, Happy Columbus Day and Happy St. Patrick's Day.