Mother-in-law says US$700 monthly remittance is not enough

[Prisonmate 93]

10 hours ago, LexieJ said:

I was once like your wife, been providing for my parents and a younger brother when I started working, more than half oy paycheck goes to them when I was still in the Philippines. Back then my older brother was also sending her money as he was working as OFW in Taiwan. My mom sounds like your MIL. No  matter how much me and my brother sends was never enough. We even bought them a nice house in an executive village in our town. This was a very tough situation for me and my husband, we were in the brink of divorce multiple times because of this, the first 7-8 years of our marriage was very shaky because of my mom and her expectations of me supporting them '"forever" . Move forward they moved here in the US, they migrated here in 2012 and granted she helped us baby sit our kids and we have been paying them for $800/month but they were also living with us for free and she always makes "sarcastic remarks that what we pay her is chunk of change as make a lot of money because I'm a nurse!" Those years that she lived were us was torture for me and my husband! She feels very entitled to our home and my income as she feels like "without her I will not be where I am now", never once she gave me any credit for any of my efforts being a scholar back home and had a very tough time at school! She was not the one that took the NCLEX RN and found the employer who sponsored me for my GC! I married a Pinoy guy who grew up here so he is very Americanized, although he's Pinoy he does not understand why my mom is like that as his parents are very independent and do not rely on him or his sister for anything. I have had it with her a few years ago, they bought a mobile home and we told her that she can move out of my home and we do not need her help, I cut the ties and I could not have been at peace! I chose to take care of my husband and my 2 kids and i told  her " I have paid you enough, I am a mom myself and I am doing my best to raise my kids to be good members of the society" . Good thing we are here in CA and there's quite a few entitlement programs because of their age so I have stopped giving her money and  they are comfortable living in their little mobile home. On the other hand my older brother's family broke off because he unfortunately chose to continue supporting my parents and now he lives with them with no wife and his kids are away from him too. So, in the end your wife has to make the choice and decision to make your relationship work, never say that your marriage will not break as I saw it first hand with my brother and my marriage almost broke as well but in the end I chose my husband and my kids over my parents. And not all parents are like your MIL or my mom, my in laws are different and very independent, my aunt who is my mom's sister is the total opposite of her and sometimes I wish she is my mom. I still fulfill my obligation with them as a daughter by taking them to their doctor's appointments and doing errands for them, I rarely talk to her as well as every time she talks to me all she wants to do is complain and talk about money. Good luck to you, hope your wife will chose you over her parents.

Thank you for taking the time to write your story. There are others out there that is similar. No matter what your relationship is with your parents now, you're a good daughter and person that took care of their parents as long as they could afford to.

I would never impose on my children but other parents are different in their circumstances.

[Prisonmate 93]

12 hours ago, Talako said:

I don't mean to be critical, but you should have a better plan than to have your wife living only on Social Security.

Good point. I am teaching her how to invest in ETF's and setting up a ROTH IRA for her.