What are legal ways?

[JeanneAdil 6,596]

1 minute ago, Timona said:

Be careful thought with this "take it slow."

 

I know of people who know how to play games. They'll do that so that you feel comfortable. Then you go over, get married and she/ he tells you to hold off application till 8 months later while you two live apart. Why? He's banking on 10 year GC. As soon as he lands in US and triggers it, he's out and petitioning for his real flame, the one he's been cosy with all this time that you were apart and "taking it slow."

 

So, be on the lookout. 

I'm not saying yours is fake. Just be on the lookout 

yeah,  there are reasons u pulled the K1 

[Lostinthesea806 2]

3 minutes ago, Timona said:

Be careful thought with this "take it slow."

 

I know of people who know how to play games. They'll do that so that you feel comfortable. Then you go over, get married and she/ he tells you to hold off application till 8 months later while you two live apart. Why? He's banking on 10 year GC. As soon as he lands in US and triggers it, he's out and petitioning for his real flame, the one he's been cosy with all this time that you were apart and "taking it slow."

 

So, be on the lookout. 

I'm not saying yours is fake. Just be on the lookout 

I fully agree, I think he fears of things going south with us again as our  break up was super ugly. Our families hate each other it’s a mess sadly. Trust on both ends are being fixed but, it’ll take time.  
While I know the horror stories I would like to think ours isn’t going to be one just a young couple who made horrific choices. The issues at the time were cultural differences as well as communication. 

 

[JeanneAdil 6,596]

15 minutes ago, Lostinthesea806 said:

I fully agree, I think he fears of things going south with us again as our  break up was super ugly. Our families hate each other it’s a mess sadly. Trust on both ends are being fixed but, it’ll take time.  
While I know the horror stories I would like to think ours isn’t going to be one just a young couple who made horrific choices. The issues at the time were cultural differences as well as communication. 

 

Since u have a child together and still want to work on relationship,  i will wish you all the best 

i am a true believer that a child needs mom and dad 

and the best thing a parent can do for the child is for mother to love the father and father to love the mother

[Lostinthesea806 2]

Just now, JeanneAdil said:

Since u have a child together and still want to work on relationship,  i will wish you all the best 

i am a true believer that a child needs mom and dad 

and the best thing a parent can do for the child is for mother to love the father and father to love the mother

Thank you ❤️ 
it’s harder when families hate each other but, I am hopeful as I agree the child deserves their father. He is not a terrible man at all, we simply made some immature decisions due to being so angry with one another. 

[mushroomspore 3,044]

39 minutes ago, Lostinthesea806 said:

Thank you ❤️ 
it’s harder when families hate each other but, I am hopeful as I agree the child deserves their father. He is not a terrible man at all, we simply made some immature decisions due to being so angry with one another. 

Families hating each other can be tough but at the end of the day, you guys are adults. You don't have to tolerate toxic dynamics and you don't owe blood family members a relationship just 'cause you guys are "blood". And especially since you guys have a kid, to whom toxic dynamics should be not be normalized to. If you and your partner are able to reconcile and maintain a stable relationship and want to pursue the CR-1/IR-1 visa at the appropriate time, that would ultimately be the easiest way, legally speaking. All other options are either temporary (meaning he can't stay permanently in the US) or very difficult to pursue.

[Lostinthesea806 2]

4 minutes ago, mushroomspore said:

Families hating each other can be tough but at the end of the day, you guys are adults. You don't have to tolerate toxic dynamics and you don't owe blood family members a relationship just 'cause you guys are "blood". And especially since you guys have a kid, to whom toxic dynamics should be not be normalized to. If you and your partner are able to reconcile and maintain a stable relationship and want to pursue the CR-1/IR-1 visa at the appropriate time, that would ultimately be the easiest way, legally speaking. All other options are either temporary (meaning he can't stay permanently in the US) or very difficult to pursue.

Thank you! I appreciate all the advice and having this safe space to vent. I can only hope one day my mother will come around. she’s never been supportive of any of my relationships or really anything I’ve done in life so her behavior is nothing new. 
however, I will make a plan to visit him this summer and look into studying abroad over there for at least a semester and see how things go. 

[Lostinthesea806 2]

Another question about cr1- is the income just the baby and I or is it him plus the baby and I? 
 

[mushroomspore 3,044]

22 minutes ago, Lostinthesea806 said:

Another question about cr1- is the income just the baby and I or is it him plus the baby and I? 
 

All 3. The petitioner (US citizen) has to prove they make enough income to support themselves plus the intending immigrant(s) plus any dependents declared on tax forms (the kiddo). Exact figures available on USCIS' official website (Google "USCIS Poverty Guidelines").

Edited March 16, 2022 by mushroomspore

[Lostinthesea806 2]

Just now, mushroomspore said:

All 3. The petitioner (US citizen) has to prove they make enough income to support themselves plus the intending immigrant(s) plus any dependents declared on tax forms (the kiddo).

Thank you!! 
so basically as long as I meet their threshold 125% and above when we’re ready. I won’t need a co signer right? 

[mam521 2,113]

3 hours ago, Lostinthesea806 said:

He’s not in the us. 
I have considered going back to his country and spending time there but, with proper research. if I go that route then I know cr1 would be best at that time. 

You guys could begin by meeting in neutral territory.  You don't HAVE to meet in SA or the USA.  Sometimes, if the family dynamics are challenging, meeting in the "middle" in a different country could help reestablish some base level trust. 

[SalishSea 17,990]

49 minutes ago, Lostinthesea806 said:

Thank you!! 
so basically as long as I meet their threshold 125% and above when we’re ready. I won’t need a co signer right? 

It’s based not just on income, but on totality of circumstances.

 

Current processing times for either visa are running a couple of years from start to finish, so in that way the timeline may work well for your plan to take it slow.

[JeanneAdil 6,596]

2 minutes ago, mam521 said:

You guys could begin by meeting in neutral territory.  You don't HAVE to meet in SA or the USA.  Sometimes, if the family dynamics are challenging, meeting in the "middle" in a different country could help reestablish some base level trust. 

great idea 

otherwise family gets in the middle

and u are not going to marry family unless u marry a Moroccan and i know i married family

[Lostinthesea806 2]

1 hour ago, mam521 said:

You guys could begin by meeting in neutral territory.  You don't HAVE to meet in SA or the USA.  Sometimes, if the family dynamics are challenging, meeting in the "middle" in a different country could help reestablish some base level trust. 

Thankfully, his side of the family is wonderful! His mom and I remained close throughout everything as she considers me her daughter. His friends are supportive and everything as they knew the situation I would say it’s more so my family specifically my mother. She’s toxic in general but, she just can’t let a grudge go at all.  I’m fighting for her to just move on as people are not perfect myself included but, she’s highly adamant that he’s this horrible guy because we got pregnant before marriage. 
In the end I am comfortable going to his country as I believe his family deserves to meet the first grand child. I did however talk about future meet ups in a mutual area where flights weren’t so long for me with the baby and he agreed to that.