VAWA, Part 25

[Bshine 24]

9 hours ago, Rhema1 said:

It's pretty normal. 

They are working on your case. 

Wich EAD/AP category do you have?

I got c09 and my i131 was approved the sent me my AP with my picture on it. Thanks for your response.

5 hours ago, balo101 said:

Lately it is not just you, i know know someone else also received receipt notice as well. I guess either there is glitch in their system or they are working on your case. 

Thanks @balo101 I appreciate your response. 

[BollyB 56]

9 hours ago, Navie&Navo said:

Lately I am feeling scared and depressed. I saw this forum ,I really need help .I file for VAWA and I am now having second thoughts to withdraw my petition .My spouse is a greencard holder ,we still living together.i also have  feeling of guilt ,I think he can be convicted and deported because of my application .Also I feel it will hinder his citizenship, I am all alone ,didnt tell no one what I did.i feel this feeling giving me nervousness and I cant eat ,I just need someone to talk to .Please help me .We are together for over 20 years .

Sorry about how you feel.

I have a very long history with mine as well (decades) so I understand the guilt you feel. Mine is also a green card holder. Don’t feel guilty, what happened happened even if they pretend to change or they eventually change… this vawa petition saves us from the so many uncertainties with spouses that derive pleasure in manipulating and controlling or worse.

this is a safe space (although public) but everyone here understands what it’s like. I was told they do not get to know about your case as long as you do not inform them about it. I doubt it will affect them but if it does, it was bound to happen with or without your application. Do not feel guilty please! You can withdraw if you want to but I wouldn’t because gaslighting is part of the many tricks up his sleeve and I’m done being naïve. It’s taken a while for me to come to this realization but that’s my 2 cents. 🌹🤗

Edited May 29, 2022 by BollyB

[Navie&Navo 1]

4 minutes ago, BollyB said:

Sorry about how you feel.

I have a very long history with mine as well (decades) so I understand the guilt you feel. Mine is also a green card holder. Don’t feel guilty, what happened happened even if they pretend to change or they eventually change… this vawa petition saves us from the so many uncertainties with spouses that derive pleasure in manipulating and controlling or worse.

this is a safe space (although public) but everyone here understands what it’s like. I was told they do not get to know about your case as long as you do not inform them about it. I doubt it will affect them but if it does, it was bound to happen with or without your application. Do not feel guilty please! You can withdraw if you want to but I wouldn’t because I gaslighting is part of the many tricks up his sleeve and I’m done being naïve. It’s taken a while for me to come to this realization but that’s my 2 cents. 🌹🤗

Thank you BollyB , I was told that nothing will happen to him because its humanitarian and its confidential and it's not about him ,its about me but I still feel guilty, nervous, scared and anxious. Your story is also similar to mine ,thanks for sharing ❤

[BollyB 56]

55 minutes ago, Navie&Navo said:

Thank you BollyB , I was told that nothing will happen to him because its humanitarian and its confidential and it's not about him ,its about me but I still feel guilty, nervous, scared and anxious. Your story is also similar to mine ,thanks for sharing ❤

Trust me… no matter how bad your case or my case is, there’s been worse. I’m just grateful for life and for summoning courage to go ahead with this. Let the stories of others motivate you… there’s light at the end of the tunnel. This community has helped me. For reassurance you can find time to read through each page… before I filed and was going crazy, at my wit’s end I literally went page by page to read through it all, it helped. Don’t be scared, instead be thankful for this provision to be able to file despite everything. 🤗❤️🌹

[TBoneTX 45,598]

12 hours ago, Navie&Navo said:

i also have  feeling of guilt ,I think he can be convicted and deported because of my application .Also I feel it will hinder his citizenship

Listen to BollyB.

What happens to your abuser is not YOUR problem.

[TBoneTX 45,598]

14 hours ago, Vale1 said:

I’m a greencard holder! 

Yee-HAAAAA!   

 

[Note to T-B.'s self:  Joke worked again... joke worked again...]  

[Rhema1 342]

40 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Listen to BollyB.

What happens to your abuser is not YOUR problem.

I would personally not go to that extent if I know that something bad would happen to my abuser. 

I personally filled for vawa because I was confident that the hole process was confidential I was not gonna affect in any way my spouse negatively. 

Some spouses are fathers or mothers of our children. So what what happens to them also counts. 

So, let herself determine the degree of gravity those abuses has affected her and try to know whether she herself can go with the process. 

Whether she intends to continue living with her spouse or not. For it will be very difficult to live with him if she chooses to go vawa road. 

We do not know the reason of her guilt feelings for she knows her spouse more than all of us.

At the end, let her chooses the best option for her and will also allow her to be in peace with herself without any reproach or guilt. 

 

Edited May 29, 2022 by Rhema1

[TBoneTX 45,598]

It is Sunday, and time for our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke:

========================================================

STINGING AN IDIOT

 

A man came running to the doctor, shouting and screaming in pain.

 

"Please, doctor, you've got to help me.  I've been stung by a bee."

 

"Don't worry," said the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it."

 

"You will never find that bee.  It must be miles away by now."

 

"No; you don't understand," said the doctor.  "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."

 

"Oh!  It happened in the garden in back of my house."

 

"No, no, no!" said the doctor, getting frustrated.  "I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you."

 

"On my finger!" screamed the man in pain.  "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts."

 

"Which one?" asked the doctor.

 

"How am I supposed to know?  All the bees looked the same to me!"

 

[Persica 4]

Hi Everyone,

 

Hope everyone is in good spirits. I wanted your advise on my situation if you and it would mean a lot. I entered the US on a F visa and later filed a family petition while I was maintaining lawful status. Later in year 2021, my only status was pending I-485 based on I-130 and then I filed VAWA in January 2022. I received the receipt notices and recently received my EAD from the pending vawa petition. My previous employer had applied for my H1B and I got selected in the lottery. Now I'm filing my H1B because I want to keep that route open as well. I know H1B is a dual intent visa so I can file the H1B but the only confusion I have is that in order to file an H1B you have to maintain a lawful status at all times. After expiration of my OPT my status was based on the the pending I-485 based on I-130 (I never received an EAD through my family petition) and then I filed VAWA before my spouse withdrew our family petition. And I recently received EAD based on VAWA which is valid for 2 years. Would appreciate your thought and advise about filing the H1B. Senior members would really mean a lot to hear from you guys. @sandranj @Demise @HustlingStill. Thanks a lot!

 

[Family 4,065]

On 5/28/2022 at 8:19 AM, Navie&Navo said:

Lately I am feeling scared and depressed. I saw this forum ,I really need help .I file for VAWA and I am now having second thoughts to withdraw my petition .My spouse is a greencard holder ,we still living together.i also have  feeling of guilt ,I think he can be convicted and deported because of my application .Also I feel it will hinder his citizenship, I am all alone ,didnt tell no one what I did.i feel this feeling giving me nervousness and I cant eat ,I just need someone to talk to .Please help me .We are together for over 20 years .

If you recently put together your VAWA, then you are in an emotional state , just recounting your abuse is triggering enough and without treatment/ therapy you will likely continue to “ feel “ depressed, scared and guilty. 
Guilt, shame , self-doubt and maybe even “ he’s not that bad..” have kept you stuck and accepting circumstances that will NOT change for the better without help…and if you have children, they suffer great harmful collateral damage ( even when not in the direct line of fire from the abuser). 
 

So , I hope you Google some free resources and start helping yourself HEAL and get some treatment so you can GET BETTER and slowly feel better. I know it cannot be easy living together and pretending it’s all normal….. , hiding such a secret ( VAWA filing) and hiding treatment or even attending support groups for Victims of Domestic Violence, but they are the first steps to helping you cope and hopefully change your circumstances for the better.

 

They won’t take his LPR status away ( so don’t hesitate to keep safe and call the police if things get physical ) ..lots of legal maneuvering available to him. He will be OK…but you may not be. 

Personally, I hope you get your VAWA and US Citizenship BEFORE your abuser LPR husband does….but just think USCIS will not discuss/ disclose your VAWA claim with your ABUSER.

 

 

[Navie&Navo 1]

Good morning everyone, thank you all for the comments, it was encouraging and helpful. I appreciate it alot ❤❤.Take care .

[shiva32 240]

18 hours ago, perseverance_ said:

Hi Everyone,

 

Hope everyone is in good spirits. I wanted your advise on my situation if you and it would mean a lot. I entered the US on a F visa and later filed a family petition while I was maintaining lawful status. Later in year 2021, my only status was pending I-485 based on I-130 and then I filed VAWA in January 2022. I received the receipt notices and recently received my EAD from the pending vawa petition. My previous employer had applied for my H1B and I got selected in the lottery. Now I'm filing my H1B because I want to keep that route open as well. I know H1B is a dual intent visa so I can file the H1B but the only confusion I have is that in order to file an H1B you have to maintain a lawful status at all times. After expiration of my OPT my status was based on the the pending I-485 based on I-130 (I never received an EAD through my family petition) and then I filed VAWA before my spouse withdrew our family petition. And I recently received EAD based on VAWA which is valid for 2 years. Would appreciate your thought and advise about filing the H1B. Senior members would really mean a lot to hear from you guys. @sandranj @Demise @HustlingStill. Thanks a lot!

 

I was in the same boat in 2021. I filed VAWA in Nov 2019, my lawful status through h1b expired in may 2020. So you are not accruing unlawful status until you have a pending I485, but you are "out of status" since you are not on a valid visa since the h1b / OPT expired. I know this is confusing but US immigration law was intentionally designed to be confusing. You cannot extend your h1b from within the country if you file for h1b AFTER you become out of status. You can go through H1B consular processing which means leaving the US and applying through a consulate in another country, preferably your country of citizenship. Obviously its a hassle, its expensive and time consuming. And there is a risk of getting stuck outside the US. You can live and work in the US with your C9 EAD and travel with advance parole. Going the h1b route doesn't make much sense at this time. Just my two and a half cents.

[Persica 4]

44 minutes ago, shiva32 said:

I was in the same boat in 2021. I filed VAWA in Nov 2019, my lawful status through h1b expired in may 2020. So you are not accruing unlawful status until you have a pending I485, but you are "out of status" since you are not on a valid visa since the h1b / OPT expired. I know this is confusing but US immigration law was intentionally designed to be confusing. You cannot extend your h1b from within the country if you file for h1b AFTER you become out of status. You can go through H1B consular processing which means leaving the US and applying through a consulate in another country, preferably your country of citizenship. Obviously its a hassle, its expensive and time consuming. And there is a risk of getting stuck outside the US. You can live and work in the US with your C9 EAD and travel with advance parole. Going the h1b route doesn't make much sense at this time. Just my two and a half cents.

Hi Shiva32,

 

Thanks for your response. So my reason of applying for an H1B is to make sure I have two routes open. I don't mind going back to my country which I'm planning to do anyways because I haven't been home in a long time. I also know that I won't get stuck there because I already have the EAD+AP Card which I can use to enter the US if H1B thing doesn't work. But I just wanted to know if even going through consular processing would create any issues? What was your experience? But since you already had an H1B it might be a little different. Appreciate it

[2020filer 74]

Just passed through TSA on my new AP! I was very nervous but I made it. They took me to the secondary inspection room and looked through the documents and then asked standard questions and then let me go. I encourage everyone who is able to travel and doesn’t have anything barring them from coming back to definitely take the opportunity of their APs!

[TBoneTX 45,598]

3 minutes ago, 2020filer said:

I made it.

Good for you, and what a nice feeling!