SAWASDEE 2

[toma1 10]

It is always hardest on the 1^st generation of immigrants, and they will typically push away their ethnic culture and background, in order to better fit in. It is the 2^nd generation that tries to rekindle with their roots.

This reminded me to ask about something that is only tangentially related, but since I have some experienced posters available I hope I might ask some advice.

What did you do to manage homesickness?

I live south of Tampa, so she won't have to adapt to weather very much. We also have an AMAZING Thai temple nearby: http://www.wattampa.com/PAGE_1/Page_12_Maintemple.html

But still, I worry about homesickness.

My fiancee is well traveled and well educated, but she has a definite preference for Thai food. (Though I must say a lot of Western food in Thailand is, well, BAD, and not a good example of the food she will actually get here. She still thinks spaghetti is properly served with Ketchup. LOL...) This issue is compounded by the fact that she is a Bangkok girl and used to having good cheap food on every street corner. She had a great job there and rarely cooked for herself, so she cannot really cook a lot of Thai food. (i.e. she's spoiled by BKK)

Her English is already quite good and she will take a few English courses when she first gets here. Eventually she'll go back to work. But in the meantime, what do you all suggest?

[daboyz 36]

It is always hardest on the 1^st generation of immigrants, and they will typically push away their ethnic culture and background, in order to better fit in. It is the 2^nd generation that tries to rekindle with their roots.

This reminded me to ask about something that is only tangentially related, but since I have some experienced posters available I hope I might ask some advice.

What did you do to manage homesickness?

I live south of Tampa, so she won't have to adapt to weather very much. We also have an AMAZING Thai temple nearby: http://www.wattampa.com/PAGE_1/Page_12_Maintemple.html

But still, I worry about homesickness.

My fiancee is well traveled and well educated, but she has a definite preference for Thai food. (Though I must say a lot of Western food in Thailand is, well, BAD, and not a good example of the food she will actually get here. She still thinks spaghetti is properly served with Ketchup. LOL...) This issue is compounded by the fact that she is a Bangkok girl and used to having good cheap food on every street corner. She had a great job there and rarely cooked for herself, so she cannot really cook a lot of Thai food. (i.e. she's spoiled by BKK)

Her English is already quite good and she will take a few English courses when she first gets here. Eventually she'll go back to work. But in the meantime, what do you all suggest?

Anya-D seems to have some good advice concerning the food.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showuser=16166

She has a link in Thai that shows how to make good Thai food with American ingredients. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working right now.

http://www.kruaklaibaan.com/forum/index.php

You might send her a message. She seems pretty helpful when it comes to the Thai food in America department. I'm a little worried about this myself. When I lived in Thailand, it was pretty rare that we ate western food.

I found some pretty good Asian markets, as well as some friends I met at a Thai restaurants here. Thank god one girl offered to teach her to drive. I don't think I would have the patience for that. She's pretty excited about coming. I hope she's not as disappointed with the US as I am.

;-)

[*Robert* 2]

What did you do to manage homesickness?

Tom, the one good thing about Florida is that there is no shortage of Asian markets around here, especially in Orlando. I don't know what it's like on the West coast, but here on the East coast we have no problem finding all the ingredients we need. We have a great Asian store we shop at, with Thai owners. We also have a brand new Wat in Melbourne, with a very large Thai community. Though my wife likes to go to the temple for special occasions, she hasn't really embraced any members of the Thai community here. She prefers to stay at home and play on her laptop most of the time, working on a blog she has. She has focused on her cooking, and loves to take pictures as she prepares and cooks, and posts them on her blog. She is crazy about her camera, and takes pictures of everything. That is also where she gets recipes and cooking tips to help her with her cooking. Like Anna, Chutima never really had to worry about cooking, coming from Nontaburi, but she has done a great job learning how to cook.

For long distance phone service, we use PINGO (an online calling company), which allows her to call her mother on a regular basis, and her best friend. Her mother calls often as well, and she uses Messenger to chat with her BFF. She misses Thailand, but she also enjoys traveling here in the US, though we haven't had time to see as many different places as she'd like.

I find it VERY difficult to take her out to eat, as she is very picky, unless it is a Thai/Japanese restaurant, or a seafood restaurant. Luckily, both of which we have plenty of here on the Atlantic coast of Florida. She isn't a beef or pork eater, so that rules out a lot of food, and she isn't into any of the fast food around here, except for KFC!

Given that your fiancée is well traveled and well educated, I'm sure she will do just fine here in Florida. Of course there will be times she'll be home sick, but the excitement of being in a new place and seeing new sights should over come that. Just make sure you have a good long distance service!

Be sure to contact Anya-D as Scott suggested. She and I have known each other for a long time, and she occasionally still checks in. She is a great source of information from the Thai immigrant side.

Edited November 22, 2008 by roi_aggie

[Devkpaik 1]

It is always hardest on the 1^st generation of immigrants, and they will typically push away their ethnic culture and background, in order to better fit in. It is the 2^nd generation that tries to rekindle with their roots.

This reminded me to ask about something that is only tangentially related, but since I have some experienced posters available I hope I might ask some advice.

What did you do to manage homesickness?

I live south of Tampa, so she won't have to adapt to weather very much. We also have an AMAZING Thai temple nearby: http://www.wattampa.com/PAGE_1/Page_12_Maintemple.html

But still, I worry about homesickness.

My fiancee is well traveled and well educated, but she has a definite preference for Thai food. (Though I must say a lot of Western food in Thailand is, well, BAD, and not a good example of the food she will actually get here. She still thinks spaghetti is properly served with Ketchup. LOL...) This issue is compounded by the fact that she is a Bangkok girl and used to having good cheap food on every street corner. She had a great job there and rarely cooked for herself, so she cannot really cook a lot of Thai food. (i.e. she's spoiled by BKK)

Her English is already quite good and she will take a few English courses when she first gets here. Eventually she'll go back to work. But in the meantime, what do you all suggest?

I was worried about the homesickness factor as well. I live in Seattle, WA so the weather difference is humongous. So far she's been adapting very well and she hasn't been bothered by the coldness.

She does miss Thai food a little bit, but it's nothing where it's bothering her.

She's taking english classes as an ESL course and had to test into a certain level. She tested into level 2 so she got to skip to levels which meant her english was pretty good, which I knew anyways but didn't know she'd test that well.

I remember I spoke with her a lot before she came about her being homesick and what we could do to help ease her homesickness and she always said "I won't be homesick, don't worry". I thought she might just be saying that to make me not worry, but really she hasn't been homesick at all.

Everyone is different so of course I can't guarantee your fiance won't be homesick but just thought I'd share my two cents.

Good luck.

Oh yea, also she's totally loving Pho (Vietnamese noodles)! She even says she likes them more than Thai noodles. About food, we both cook together usually every night. She's always been able to eat every type of food, and although she misses Thai food, she eats any type of food, especially Japanese food which is good because I'm Japanese-American.

[Devkpaik 1]

What did you do to manage homesickness?

Tom, the one good thing about Florida is that there is no shortage of Asian markets around here, especially in Orlando. I don't know what it's like on the West coast, but here on the East coast we have no problem finding all the ingredients we need. We have a great Asian store we shop at, with Thai owners. We also have a brand new Wat in Melbourne, with a very large Thai community. Though my wife likes to go to the temple for special occasions, she hasn't really embraced any members of the Thai community here. She prefers to stay at home and play on her laptop most of the time, working on a blog she has. She has focused on her cooking, and loves to take pictures as she prepares and cooks, and posts them on her blog. She is crazy about her camera, and takes pictures of everything. That is also where she gets recipes and cooking tips to help her with her cooking. Like Anna, Chutima never really had to worry about cooking, coming from Nontaburi, but she has done a great job learning how to cook.

For long distance phone service, we use PINGO (an online calling company), which allows her to call her mother on a regular basis, and her best friend. Her mother calls often as well, and she uses Messenger to chat with her BFF. She misses Thailand, but she also enjoys traveling here in the US, though we haven't had time to see as many different places as she'd like.

I find it VERY difficult to take her out to eat, as she is very picky, unless it is a Thai/Japanese restaurant, or a seafood restaurant. Luckily, both of which we have plenty of here on the Atlantic coast of Florida. She isn't a beef or pork eater, so that rules out a lot of food, and she isn't into any of the fast food around here, except for KFC!

Given that your fiancée is well traveled and well educated, I'm sure she will do just fine here in Florida. Of course there will be times she'll be home sick, but the excitement of being in a new place and seeing new sights should over come that. Just make sure you have a good long distance service!

Be sure to contact Anya-D as Scott suggested. She and I have known each other for a long time, and she occasionally still checks in. She is a great source of information from the Thai immigrant side.

Hey we use Pingo as well. It's pretty good.

Oh another thing, my fiance has met a Thai lady in her ESL class as well as some other people from SE Asia, and so it has probably helped ease the process of being in a foreign country by seeing other Thai people here.

[Thai family 0]

Where should my DIL go in Thailand to get an international driver's license? It should be the equivilent of AAA here in the states. From what I understand, CO is not going to be in any hurry to issue her a license. She needs to keep busy when she gets here, as that's what she's used too. In thinking about the adjustment issues and homesickness, that's probably going to be the key for her. I understand she's bringing all the food customs and the Dept pf Agriculture will allow!

Thai Mom

[rin and john 71]

Where should my DIL go in Thailand to get an international driver's license? It should be the equivilent of AAA here in the states. From what I understand, CO is not going to be in any hurry to issue her a license. She needs to keep busy when she gets here, as that's what she's used too. In thinking about the adjustment issues and homesickness, that's probably going to be the key for her. I understand she's bringing all the food customs and the Dept pf Agriculture will allow!

Thai Mom

For the IDL, have here check here (Dept of Land Transport in Thailand).

http://www.dlt.go.th/knowlegde.html

The english portion of the website is not very good, but perhaps the Thai page has more info. She could always call them.

Rin didn't bring any food. Thought about it, but knew it would run out in a few months and she would have to be self-sufficient on whatever we could buy locally. There are four asian stores in Memphis, so it has not been a problem (although we still have not found krapow - holy basil - only horapha, a reasonable substitute).

John

[*Robert* 2]

I completely feel for those of you who don't live close to good Asian markets, especially those that don't have fresh produce.

There are many online sites that carry many Thai products, including fresh produce, but I haven't seen any that carry fresh Holy Basil (bai gkaprow). Thai Basil (bai horapa) is certainly no substitute for Holy Basil, as the flavors are totally different. The only alternative is to purchase some seeds and grow your own Thai herbs. My wife is able to grow Galangal, Kafir Lime, Mint, Holy Basil, and Thai Basil, which really comes in handy for cooking Thai food.

For those of you whose SO is not here yet, I strongly recommend finding a store that sells Thai Rice, or Jasmine Rice, and purchase a quality Rice Cooker. Having those two items are a definite MUST! The next thing to do is locate some good Fish Sauce. We always use Tiparos, but there are other brands. Do your research now, rather than later, as it will make the transition much better.

[HYENA 4]

Like Birch-Beer, had a lot of reading to catch up on. You guys have been regular chatty Cathy's lately!

Sorry I missed the discussion on Sin Sod, because that is a topic I enjoy discussing.

I saw a lot of VERY high amounts mentioned, and a lot of money being thrown around by some, and no money by others (you know who you are!!! )

It always bothers me when I hear, or see, Farangs spending large amounts of money in Thailand, because it just adds credence to Thai beliefs that all Farang are wealthy, which I think most of us will agree, is NOT the case!

Remember that 9 is a lucky number to Thai people. Giving a Sin Sod of say 199,999 Baht, would be a very nice amount, along with presenting your bride-to-be 9 baht of gold. Gold is an investment, especially Thai gold, which tends to be the best gold you can buy. Many families will take the Sin Sod, purchase land or something else, and then give back to the couple. It the parents keep the whole amount to themselves, I would worry about their motives. Now days Sin Sod is meant to be mostly symbolic and to ensure that the happy couple starts of on the right foot.

Most Thai people will tell you that when you give something, you have to give it from your heart, and give what you feel appropriate, or what you can afford. If you give because you feel you have to, or that it is expected, then it doesn’t carry the same meaning. If you can’t afford a Sin Sod, then you can’t afford one. If you can, don’t give an obscene amount just to impress everyone, because that is not the purpose of Sin Sod. Remember the Thai culture of Geng Jai. If you don’t know what it is, I highly recommend you look it up!

This is not directed at anyone on here, I just want to express an opinion. I feel that if someone is not going to respect the culture of the person they want to marry, then they should find someone from a culture that they will. I have never understood why a western man would marry an Asian woman, and then try to change her into someone different, aka “Westernize” her. Once again… just my opinion.

I agree; your numbers are right about in where I was thinking...we are getting married at 9:09am on whatever day (the 19th?) and everything you said fits pretty well with my thinking. For me, it is about the gesture...from my heart to theirs. I happen to love gold and just got 3 baht off ebay for a bargain (even by Thai prices)...a nice dowry necklace earrings set made in India (can't wait to see it)...now on to the bracelets and ...something for mom...

To address a couple comments: The McDonald's work bothered me because we have no time to talk and she's got no time to go hunting for stuff for our business to sell (I'm sure I can squeeze a day out of her here and there)- I guess on one hand it's a good thing all the way around. On the other hand, 80 cents an hour is really disturbing! Yes, I told her she's finishing high school (GED) when she gets here. She's got years of catcthing up but a GED may be about it. It's too bad because I find her quite intelligent...sad the opportunity never existed. Yes, I am very happy she is working. It bugged me for a while and concerned me about her motives (suddenly being "busy" can't talk, not telling me much about why she got the job, etc). After I pressed her about our promise to be open and honest, it turns out she just wants her "own" money to get me something for b-day and Christmas and something for our wedding.

Our relationship was rocky with some big misunderstandings early on so mutual trust has taking time. Both of us have been burned badly and we've hurt each other in the process until we stabilized and realized we were both after the real thing. I'll spare you the details but I couldn't be more thrilled to find such a nice wife from any country and I personally think it's cool bringing someone here to enjoy what I've taken for granted all my life.

Thaivisa and Stickman are two websites I avoid when talking about serious relationships, support and sin sod. I've seen enough of the "don't pay them a baht for sitting on their a**" and "something for nothing" talk seemingly missing out on the whole cultural idea forgetting about two lives and two families becoming connected on a deeper level than a unicultural farang marriage. In 6 months time, it will have been like I hadn't spent a dime because whatever I spend will be back again...and to do right by her, her family and my own conscience (not to mention I look forward to an excuse to help them out and hand over some gold and cold hard cash). I'm not wealthy and I agree with avoiding obscene amounts of money. Her mom IS planning to give nearly all of it back. Having said that, I want to be sure she keeps at least 100k and a couple baht of gold (her family has NO gold..any gold they had was pawned previously so giving this time with an insurance policy (me) they won't go hungry and have to sell it again will do my heart good. If my work goes good and circumstances turn out better, I'll give more. I'll make sure it's good for me and good for them and good for everyone.

Meanwhile I'm losing my mind not being with her (I'm sure everyone here feels the same).

Thanks for your responses and insight. I'd love to be there right now!

Hey, did I mention I'm TIRED of waiting for NOA2?

[toma1 10]

Question for divorced guys with a fiancee applying for a K1 visa in Bangkok:

When you provided your divorce decree to the embassy, did you give them the MARRIAGE certificate for that previous marriage as well? Or did you only need the divorce paperwork?

Thanks for any info you can provide.

Edited November 23, 2008 by toma1

[HYENA 4]

I do know I need to find some rotten bacteria fish soupy yick somewhere. Apparently it's some 6 month old horrendous concoction they love (at least in Roi Et). I don't understand their love affair with fishy tastes...why couldn't it be beef? LOL!

Luckily my tilac's not lung mat so she can eat anything (but she needs her fix) she MUST have her papaya salad or she gets homesick right there in BKK. One thing I think she'll enjoy is the lack of overt prejudice and discrimination she's endured in BKK. It was shocking to hear her translate some of the nasty comments and catty things ethnic Thais do to the Isaan women (and women to women in general). I had her call a company so I could buy and import some goods and the desk lady wouldn't let her proceed with pricing and logistical questions because she was stuck on "how does an Isaan person get our phone number" and "why you call, do you have money" and on and on...my tilac said "nevermind where I from, please give me pricing and shipping details, I have client who wants to place an order." Needless to say 4 months later I still can't buy anything because they don't speak English and they don't do business with Isaan women. Even at the attorney's office, restaurants and even the sky train (some lady, sitting, told my wife she wasn't allowed to sit-unfortunately being non-confrontational, my tilac stood up). I wish I knew more Thai...the things I'd like to say when this happens (the prejudice gets my goat; I never knew it existed then to see it to this degree really pisses me off when it happens). I thought we were beyond that but I realized Thailand is not we... I told her no need to worry about feeling self conscious about her skin tone--we've got a black president coming in office and I keep talling her (she doesn't believe me) a permanent tan is sexy)! Sure discrimination is everywhere but at least I doubt she'll EVER experience it to the frequency and degree she does in BKK. She partly wants to leave Thailand just because of that alone.

One great thing--I called and found a restaurant in Baltimore (they're Isaan) who can make papaya any time she likes! I asked about the bacteria fish and they said it was difficult to get (I need to press them more- I think I'll be dealing with a depression in my hands unless Mr. Bacteria fish shows his stinky head)!

I am a huge fan of Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup with holy basil among other things). Speaking of holy Basil...does anyone sell seeds here in the US? If not, I've got to smuggle some back. I only wish I lived in Florida or California...somewhere where it's NOT snowing right now! Green papaya, green mango will be harder to find but I think we'll have a good time looking for her goodies together.

My tilac also claims she won't get home sick but even in BKK she gets homesick and MUST have her papaya salad EVERY SINGLE DAY (I can't let myself forget that...I need to have her all set up when I bring her here)!

Did I say I'm tired of waiting for NOA2?

[Devkpaik 1]

I do know I need to find some rotten bacteria fish soupy yick somewhere. Apparently it's some 6 month old horrendous concoction they love (at least in Roi Et). I don't understand their love affair with fishy tastes...why couldn't it be beef? LOL!

Luckily my tilac's not lung mat so she can eat anything (but she needs her fix) she MUST have her papaya salad or she gets homesick right there in BKK. One thing I think she'll enjoy is the lack of overt prejudice and discrimination she's endured in BKK. It was shocking to hear her translate some of the nasty comments and catty things ethnic Thais do to the Isaan women (and women to women in general). I had her call a company so I could buy and import some goods and the desk lady wouldn't let her proceed with pricing and logistical questions because she was stuck on "how does an Isaan person get our phone number" and "why you call, do you have money" and on and on...my tilac said "nevermind where I from, please give me pricing and shipping details, I have client who wants to place an order." Needless to say 4 months later I still can't buy anything because they don't speak English and they don't do business with Isaan women. Even at the attorney's office, restaurants and even the sky train (some lady, sitting, told my wife she wasn't allowed to sit-unfortunately being non-confrontational, my tilac stood up). I wish I knew more Thai...the things I'd like to say when this happens (the prejudice gets my goat; I never knew it existed then to see it to this degree really pisses me off when it happens). I thought we were beyond that but I realized Thailand is not we... I told her no need to worry about feeling self conscious about her skin tone--we've got a black president coming in office and I keep talling her (she doesn't believe me) a permanent tan is sexy)! Sure discrimination is everywhere but at least I doubt she'll EVER experience it to the frequency and degree she does in BKK. She partly wants to leave Thailand just because of that alone.

One great thing--I called and found a restaurant in Baltimore (they're Isaan) who can make papaya any time she likes! I asked about the bacteria fish and they said it was difficult to get (I need to press them more- I think I'll be dealing with a depression in my hands unless Mr. Bacteria fish shows his stinky head)!

I am a huge fan of Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup with holy basil among other things). Speaking of holy Basil...does anyone sell seeds here in the US? If not, I've got to smuggle some back. I only wish I lived in Florida or California...somewhere where it's NOT snowing right now! Green papaya, green mango will be harder to find but I think we'll have a good time looking for her goodies together.

My tilac also claims she won't get home sick but even in BKK she gets homesick and MUST have her papaya salad EVERY SINGLE DAY (I can't let myself forget that...I need to have her all set up when I bring her here)!

Did I say I'm tired of waiting for NOA2?

Haha bacteria fish soup. That must be the soup that caused me my major stomach problems to this day. I went to the doctor here about a month ago about it and he said "a 23 year old such as yourself shouldn't be having all these stomach problems", and then he told me I probably had an ulcer or two while in Thailand and right now I may have a precursor to another ulcer. Yay.

My fiance loves plara (sp?) which is like fermented, rotten, nasty, horrible fish paste. This as well contributed to my stomach problems. This ingredient caused me to be so sick for four days straight where I couldn't eat or drink or hold anything down. I got Dengue Fever while over there in Phuket but this and Dengue were about equal in their overall "feeling s*****" scale".

Oh, and about the weather. I live in Seattle and it's pretty damn cold right now. The funny thing is, I've lived in Seattle my whole life and am used to the cold, and everyday I'm like "IT'S FREEZING!!!!!" and my fiance is like "it's not too bad! It's okay!"

I'm like, "arent you the one that's supposed to be freezing and I'm the one who's supposed to be used to the weather?"

Edited November 23, 2008 by Devkpaik

[toma1 10]

Speaking of holy Basil...does anyone sell seeds here in the US?

You can buy it on Amazon, but keep in mind that it is a tropical plant that does not do well indoors. I can get it to grow here in South Florida year round, but even then, it doesn't like our cool winters.

http://www.amazon.com/Organic-Holy-Basil-H...s/dp/B000SQSKUS

They sell Papaya salad for take away at the Thai temple near my house...

Yep, there is a huge amount of discrimination against girls from the Northeast, especially among Bangkok people. I think some (but not all) of it had to do with the fact that so many prostitutes come from that area. The vast majority of bar girls seem to come from Isan.

Edited November 23, 2008 by toma1

[ThaiStyleUSA 1]

็ำHello all;

I have been reading some of the threads here and thought some of you might need some advices about Thai food for your Thai SO. I also do realized that some of you do not live in an area where there are many Asian. If you can find any local Asian market or even your local super market, you certainly will find some ingredients that can be put together to make Thai dishes. Many super markets now carry Asian food items. You can substitute carrots, cucumbers, green string beans for papaya to make som tum. As for bacteria fish sauce (pla lar) you can buy that in bottle. They do sell them in Asian market.

You don't have to have a Thai super market specifically to make Thai dishes; just any Asian market will do or even franchised supermarket i.e. Raley's/Bel Air, Safeway, Allbertson. They all carry some sort of Asian food and ingredients. Well, I hope this well help a bit. Good luck.

Luke

[ThaiStyleUSA 1]

By the way; I am working on a website for Thai community in USA where you can find some of these items or anything about Thailand in America. If you want to know more; you can PM me.

Thanks,

Luke