Separation after IR1 and IR2 visa in hand.

[Milda 31]

Ok update… he is willing to help us get on our feet there.. im still gonna plan for a back up in case he gets on one of his episodes again.

[Mike E 11,742]

20 minutes ago, Milda said:

Ok update… he is willing to help us get on our feet there.. im still gonna plan for a back up in case he gets on one of his episodes again.

Excellent news.  
 

Since he is working, he can add the four of you to his company paid health plan.  Post divorce you and your child that is not his can then stay on that plan for 36 months (COBRA) though it will be expense ($700 per person per month is not unusual).   As part of the divorce settlement, he should continue to have his own children covered on his plan until they reach age 26.  
 

What is your work experience in Finland? Understand that with few exceptions (computer software, acting, music, art) foreign work experience and credentials are largely discounted in the USA.  You might find difficulty finding sufficient work to support yourself.  
 

 Make sure to get a good divorce attorney recommendation from a good immigration attorney as I-864 enforcement might be needed.
 

Your divorce settlement should come with an agreement that he will sign off both passport applications / renewals for both kids.   

Edited February 5, 2022 by Mike E

[SalishSea 18,159]

20 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

Life might be better where you are, think twice before moving. 

My thoughts as well.  I would probably choose Finland over the US in this situation.

 

OP, so sorry you are going through this.  Please do not rely on trying to find placement in a shelter after immigrating.  While shelters catering to women and families are around, depending on the region you settle in, this may not be a viable option.  As a mother, I would have a solid plan before flying over.  Best wishes.

[Crazy Cat 42,381]

26 minutes ago, Milda said:

Ok update… he is willing to help us get on our feet there.. im still gonna plan for a back up in case he gets on one of his episodes again.

Words are cheap.  Let us hope he honors this commitment. 

[SalishSea 18,159]

19 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

us Finnish have SISU

I am Finnish-American also 🇫🇮. In my personal experience,  Finnish women are strong and determined and resilient.  You got this, OP.

[African Zealot 1,456]

2 hours ago, Mike E said:

If not the husband then the joint sponsor. So unless the sponsors committed immigration fraud there is is money to be had, and OP deserves this money.  

Wow! Are you suggesting that someone who was generous enough to be a joint sponsor should be hit up for money because the principal sponsor (husband) turned out to be an irresponsible jerk? That is highly immoral to me!
 

In my community, many people out of the generosity of their Hearst have signed up to be joint sponsors for people they were merely friends. I shudder to think such good people would pay for their kindness via extortion.

 

Personally I would never go after an innocent joint sponsor!

[.yana 598]

Have you had an experience staying at women's DV shelters? 

From my understanding it is not as idyllic as it's being portrayed by the media / on screen.

 

I would use it only as a last resort especially since you will be bringing your three children with you. Might quite a traumatic experience for them.

[Milda 31]

12 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

Wow! Are you suggesting that someone who was generous enough to be a joint sponsor should be hit up for money because the principal sponsor (husband) turned out to be an irresponsible jerk? That is highly immoral to me!
 

In my community, many people out of the generosity of their Hearst have signed up to be joint sponsors for people they were merely friends. I shudder to think such good people would pay for their kindness via extortion.

 

Personally I would never go after an innocent joint sponsor!

Yes i would never do that i love my cousing and would never put him in yhat situation.

[Mike E 11,742]

2 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

Wow! Are you suggesting that someone who was generous enough to be a joint sponsor should be hit up for money because the principal sponsor (husband) turned out to be an 

Yes. that’s on the husband, the person you labeled with a perjorative, which I didn’t quote 

 

OP has 2 kids whom are being held hostage because their father won’t give them a passport. Her family is about to be ripped apart unless she takes desperate measures.  

 

2 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

 

That is highly immoral to me!

Yes.  About as immoral as what the husband did to his immediate family and joint sponsor. 

2 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

 

 

In my community, many people out of the generosity of their Hearst have signed up to be joint sponsors for people they were merely friends. I shudder to think such good people would pay for their kindness via extortion.

In my community we preach self reliance.  
 

I’ve only signed an I-864 for my wife and would never sign for anyone else but my child.  I’ve been asked to sign I-864s for others and have refused, out of the cold un-kindness  of my heart.  
 

2 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

 

Personally I would never go after an innocent joint sponsor!

Personally I would never ask an “innocent” joint sponsor to sign for me.  The husband as it turned out was awash in assets and income and OP should be seizing those first.

[Mike E 11,742]

9 minutes ago, .yana said:

Have you had an experience staying at women's DV shelters? 

From my understanding it is not as idyllic as it's being portrayed by the media / on screen.

There’s an idyllic portrayal of American women’s shelters on screen?

 

Do tell.  
 

My impression from portrayals in the media and screens is that together with innocent victims, they house collections of folks with drug addictions, criminal tendencies, and mental illness that leads to acts of violence.  

[.yana 598]

11 minutes ago, Mike E said:

There’s an idyllic portrayal of American women’s shelters on screen?

 

Do tell.  
 

My impression from portrayals in the media and screens is that together with innocent victims, they house collections of folks with drug addictions, criminal tendencies, and mental illness that leads to acts of violence.  

I don't know if idyllic is the correct word here but the reality is harsher than what is shown on the screen despite it's already not being shown as a great place. All I'm trying to say.

[TBoneTX 46,175]

CBP told me last year that U.S. citizens can reenter the U.S. with an expired passport by land, not by air.  The word from the airline that an expired passport is acceptable is suspect.  Before attempting to travel, get something, preferably in writing, from a supervisor at the airline on which you plan to fly (name, rank, contact information) AND get the name, rank, and location of someone at CBP whom you've contacted.

[Milda 31]

13 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

CBP told me last year that U.S. citizens can reenter the U.S. with an expired passport by land, not by air.  The word from the airline that an expired passport is acceptable is suspect.  Before attempting to travel, get something, preferably in writing, from a supervisor at the airline on which you plan to fly (name, rank, contact information) AND get the name, rank, and location of someone at CBP whom you've contacted.

This is a covid rule that was extended until march of this year. The embassy is the one who told me to return with his expired passport. There is no problem with that 100%. 

[Lemonslice 4,976]

19 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

CBP told me last year that U.S. citizens can reenter the U.S. with an expired passport by land, not by air.  The word from the airline that an expired passport is acceptable is suspect.  Before attempting to travel, get something, preferably in writing, from a supervisor at the airline on which you plan to fly (name, rank, contact information) AND get the name, rank, and location of someone at CBP whom you've contacted.

There is an exception until the end of March.

See: https://help.cbp.gov/s/article/Article-1731?language=en_US

 

Quote

U.S. citizens who are overseas whose passport expired on or after January 1, 2020, may be able to use their expired U.S. passport for direct return travel to the United States until March 31, 2022.

Expired passports cannot be used to travel from the United States to an international destination or to travel to a foreign country for any length of stay longer than an airport connection in route to the United States or to a United States territory.

Travelers qualify for this exception if all the following are true:

• You are a U.S. citizen.
• You are currently abroad seeking to return to the United States.
• You are flying directly to the United States, a United States territory, or have only short-term transit (connecting flight) through a foreign country on their return to the United States or to a United States territory.
• Your expired passport was originally valid for 10 years. Or, if they were 15 years of age or under when the passport was issued, their expired passport was originally valid for 5 years.
• Your expired passport is undamaged and in their possession.

Note: As of December 6, 2021, all air travelers, regardless of vaccination status, must show proof of a negative COVID-19 test result, taken no more than 24 hours of their flight’s departure to the United States. 

 

Otherwise, usual carrier guide should be used: 
https://www.cbp.gov/sites/default/files/assets/documents/2017-Nov/carrier-information-guide-english.pdf

 

Arrival By Air - UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED, ALL TRAVEL DOCUMENTS MUST BE VALID AND UNEXPIRED. 

Page 9

 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Lemonslice

[TBoneTX 46,175]

1 hour ago, Lemonslice said:

There is an exception until the end of March.

This is good news, then.  The OP will have a lot to do in a short time.