Help me explain something

[orion44 0]

My fiance and I are going to have a non-binding ceremony in the Philippines before she comes to the US.

I thought we were clear about what would happen at that ceremony. She wants to have our ninongs and ninangs and us sign the marriage certificate. She says it is such an important symbolic part of the ceremony and no one would understand if we don't do it. She says since we won't have a marriage license nor will I have a certificate of legal capacity to marriage (I also will not have been there for the required 10 days) that signing a marriage certificate won't carry any legal weight. I am refusing. She is upset. I'm not going to budge on this issue, but can someone help me explain it to her better than I seem to be doing? I think signing a marriage certificate comes too close to making it legal. Any ideas are appreciated!!!!!

Thanks so much.

[L_n_O 3]

I suppose you could just sign it but don't send it in... that way it won't be documented

[ysa 0]

My fiance and I are going to have a non-binding ceremony in the Philippines before she comes to the US.

I thought we were clear about what would happen at that ceremony. She wants to have our ninongs and ninangs and us sign the marriage certificate. She says it is such an important symbolic part of the ceremony and no one would understand if we don't do it. She says since we won't have a marriage license nor will I have a certificate of legal capacity to marriage (I also will not have been there for the required 10 days) that signing a marriage certificate won't carry any legal weight. I am refusing. She is upset. I'm not going to budge on this issue, but can someone help me explain it to her better than I seem to be doing? I think signing a marriage certificate comes too close to making it legal. Any ideas are appreciated!!!!!

Thanks so much.

what is the purpose of this non binding ceremony? you have a K1 visa make sure that you guys will not be in trouble with this ceremony.

[RonMay 1]

My fiance and I are going to have a non-binding ceremony in the Philippines before she comes to the US.

I thought we were clear about what would happen at that ceremony. She wants to have our ninongs and ninangs and us sign the marriage certificate. She says it is such an important symbolic part of the ceremony and no one would understand if we don't do it. She says since we won't have a marriage license nor will I have a certificate of legal capacity to marriage (I also will not have been there for the required 10 days) that signing a marriage certificate won't carry any legal weight. I am refusing. She is upset. I'm not going to budge on this issue, but can someone help me explain it to her better than I seem to be doing? I think signing a marriage certificate comes too close to making it legal. Any ideas are appreciated!!!!!

Thanks so much.

even if not signing a marriage cert but having a "ceremony" especially if somebody will take a pic even thru a phone who knows, it may rise an eyebrow from the embassy if being known (someone might be holding a grudge from her etc and report it), so it might create chaos/conflict. now especially if you're gona sign it... explain it to her that if she's willing to take a risk, that by signing it or be in a "marriage ceremony play" she might not be able to be here with you in the states that soon, for legality's sake etc... its just my opinion. im kind of afraid if you'll go thru this. believe me my grandmother wants us to sign a secret marriage too (we have a family judge). heck i explain it to her that NO its just so hard to do that for "my sake" and that since we go thru k1 visa, there wont be any ceremony what so ever... they're upset kind of but its a struggle for me to explain everytime we talk about it and in the end, it didnt happen and they understand that yes its better not to sign it for my advantage coz who knows what will happen here in the states and i end up being married back in phil. that kind of thing.lol... so i really hope your fiancee would understand that maybe after she'll get here then you could have a big ceremony in phil when you get back. that's our plan with my husband. when we go back to phil we're gona have a big catholic wedding etc...

ps. tell her to just have a big party (no wedding dress ups and no marriage cert signing just a big "party blessing" for the two of you)

[lethimrace 5]

ps. tell her (no marriage cert signing just a big "party blessing" for the two of you)

ditto

be safe

[BJZags 17]

ditto

Ditto part duex!

If your going the K-1 route, NOTHING is traditional, so tell her you'll have an "engagement" party so all the family and friends can come together and bond and feel good about your upcoming marriage in the states. Anything appearing like a ceremony and signing certificates smacks of a marriage and is NOT proper under a K-1 procedure.

[alexandra8886 0]

My fiance and I are going to have a non-binding ceremony in the Philippines before she comes to the US.

I thought we were clear about what would happen at that ceremony. She wants to have our ninongs and ninangs and us sign the marriage certificate. She says it is such an important symbolic part of the ceremony and no one would understand if we don't do it. She says since we won't have a marriage license nor will I have a certificate of legal capacity to marriage (I also will not have been there for the required 10 days) that signing a marriage certificate won't carry any legal weight. I am refusing. She is upset. I'm not going to budge on this issue, but can someone help me explain it to her better than I seem to be doing? I think signing a marriage certificate comes too close to making it legal. Any ideas are appreciated!!!!!

Thanks so much.

Hi orion44,

Girls are really looking forward for this event. Its our passion to think about this as early as in 3rd grade.

Just explain to your fiancee the technicalities of having a pending application with USCIS. How ,such event will give a possible conflict to the current K1 application. Emphasize to her the waiting process. If you guys will do this..ok fine-it will not be forwarded for any legal confirmation..though we cant 100% sure that this will not create conflict with USEMbassy objective of further investigation with K1 application.

My fiance & I were also in this situation before, we really want to get married here in the Phils since most of our family members & friends are here. But a lot of things will be more complicated if we will do this.

Instead, we decided to have an ENGAGEMENT PARTY. In that way, we can still celebrate our love with our family & friends. (In this party, you can still invite the future ninongs & ninangs)

We're still going to go on some usual tradition of couples here like the Pre-nuptial Pictorial.

On the Engagement Party, we will announce our simple wedding in Las Vegas & our grand wedding in Phils as soon as we're done with the legalities needed. That may take like after 2-3 years..Long enough for the preparation of our dream wedding..THough we have enough time to save money for it.

That Phils wedding will be a celebration of renewing our vows & combining two families (my side & his side).

Orion44, tell your fiancee to just finish what you guys started. Then when its done, plan for the next event..

I know this will be hard for her specially if shes really looking forward for a nice wedding. But tell her, you're not ignoring her dream wedding..its just that it needs to wait for sometime..

Enlighten her with some input about engagement party - search google..

Have an Engagement or Pre-Nuptial Pictorial in the Phils - actually its a lot better to have it here than in US, I saw prices there..& WOW i almost fell on the floor.

Arrange an engagement party having almost the same set-up as she wants for the wedding..though outfits will really make a lot of difference. But Engagement Party is very flexible on the set-up the couple wants it to be..

Send me PM if you want to know more details..I might help you with some more info.

Goodluck!

alexandra

[sweethoney 0]

K1 visa means the wedding ceremony will take place in the US. To avoid any future problems it is always safe and good to follow the rules but if you are willing to take the risk.................hope you wont get caught. The embassy has lots of eyes and ears.

How i wish i could have my wedding here with all those people close to my heart present but i have to accept the fact that in this situation it is not safe to do that. But me and my fiance are planning a second wedding(catholic rites) here after all those adjustment of status and whatsoever are done.

Explain to your fiancee and to her family the risk she is planning to take.

good luck!

[CountryBoy 0]

Orion44,

This reply is really long winded .. hope you can follow it ..

Can you plan the wedding for a short time after the interview? How about after receiving the visa?

I'm just thinking that if you plan it this way then everything is legit at the time of the interview and/or receipt of the visa and it still gives you time to get married in the traditional manner while she is still in country but before coming to the US.

If you have the visa in hand would it hurt anything if you were legally married in the Philippines? Is the wedding something that is planned out for a LONG TIME? Would she be willing to wait until the after the visa approval, after the plans are made, after the invitations are sent out, and until after the wedding ceremony before coming to the US?

I don't know what your work schedule or finances provide for, but if you use this route she may have to go to the interview alone (I don't even know if you are planning on attending) so you would only have to make one trip, would this be ok with her?

I know that everyone wants to come to the US very soon after the issuance of the visa, and I'm sure that you want to bring your fiancee home with you if you plan on attending the interview, but I don't think that will matter if she holds your decision not grant her wish against you for the rest of your life. To some it is a religious issue, to others it is insisted on by the family, and yet to others it is what they have always dreamed of; waiting an additional week or month to be together in the US will be worth the wait if it makes your Mahala happy.

Sorry I couldn't advise on how to explain it to her, I just hope that there is a way to make you BOTH happy.

Just a thought,

CB

Edited July 13, 2007 by CountryBoy

[lethimrace 5]

Have an Engagement or Pre-Nuptial Pictorial in the Phils - actually its a lot better to have it here than in US, I saw prices there..& WOW i almost fell on the floor.

sounds funny but true

[RonMay 1]

Orion44,

This reply is really long winded .. hope you can follow it ..

Can you plan the wedding for a short time after the interview? How about after receiving the visa?

I'm just thinking that if you plan it this way then everything is legit at the time of the interview and/or receipt of the visa and it still gives you time to get married in the traditional manner while she is still in country but before coming to the US.

If you have the visa in hand would it hurt anything if you were legally married in the Philippines? Is the wedding something that is planned out for a LONG TIME? Would she be willing to wait until the after the visa approval, after the plans are made, after the invitations are sent out, and until after the wedding ceremony before coming to the US?

CB

even if you have the visa already its still not good to marry in phil. why? its VISA FRAUD dont even think about. lol... dont risk such thing... maybe a gathering but never a legal binding if you're still in phil if your in K1

my point of view

Edited July 13, 2007 by ronmay

[C&M14 0]

hi Orion44,

if you're fiancee insists on having a wedding before she comes to the US, then maybe you should let her read the link below:

http://media.www.usforacle.com/media/stora...ollegeheadlines

Ask her if she is willing to take the risk of a 10 year ban from entering the US if charged with visa fraud by USCIS. Or are you willing to relocate here if she is not allowed anymore to come to the US? Maybe for you it is non-binding ceremony with no legal weight. But would USCIS think so too? You might find yourself deep in legal trouble for years trying to convince the USCIS that your marriage is not legal.

[vsmtghdy 2]

Don't put yourself and your fiance's petition in trouble with a possibility of being placed on FRAUD for having a ceremony in the Philippines. USCIS check, FBI checks, name checks, USEM checks, background checks and any other checks you can think off, they do this to applicants. If they will do background and field investigations and would found out that you had a "binding ceremony" (legal or not?) with "signing of documents"-> this will raise a "red flag" to them. Signing "any" documents makes that document "legal" and could be use in any court of law. You will only be loosing your chance on bringing her here the "legal" way. K-1 means fiancee and that you're not married, so she have to enter the US free and single and "unbinded" to marry you in the US.

C&M14 is right, there are cases of petitions that were denied because they mislead their application. Thinking that K-1 is the fastest route and some would not want to wait and marrying in "secret" before their visa petition is approved. FRAUD is FRAUD and is a ground for denial and being banned to enter US. I think she and her family will understand this if you will explain to them the possibility of being placed on FRAUD and being banned.

But if they insist on having the ceremony, then maybe you should go ahead with it but change your petition to a K-3? I had a friend who was placed on FRAUD and he is banned to enter US for LIFE, not just 10 years, but for LIFE. Don't put yourself in this situation, you would not want the repercussion. Just my opinion.

[orion44 0]

Thanks everyone. We already have a visa. I've shared the story about the wife who has the ten year ban with her already. I'll just have to insist on this one. If she insists on the ceremony, we'll just turn around and do a K3 visa. There is no way I would ever commit visa fraud after all the trouble doing this has been.

Thanks for everyone's comments. Best case scenario we will have an engagement party.

[ysa 0]

Thanks everyone. We already have a visa. I've shared the story about the wife who has the ten year ban with her already. I'll just have to insist on this one. If she insists on the ceremony, we'll just turn around and do a K3 visa. There is no way I would ever commit visa fraud after all the trouble doing this has been.

Thanks for everyone's comments. Best case scenario we will have an engagement party.

let her read all the comments/advice that everyone's send you! goodluck.