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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Russia
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Life is horrible by definition, people are born into misery and die in misery

Wow, CityCat, you must be a Buddhist! :thumbs:

It is a quote from some religious book, Christian, but I am not particularly sure, Catholic or Orthodox or maybe something else, don't remember. It's a good quote - it has helped me a lot in life.

============

Kinda has that same spirit that the Book of Job is loaded with.

In some way it's a little depressing to face the true emptyness of life yet it is also like walking on the

empty beach... as you watch those waves roll to the shore, endlessly, knowing they have been doing it for millions of years, you realize how insignificant your moment on the beach... or even your life really is, yet somehow that walk on the beach adds more meaning or connects you to something big, bigger than yourself and it feels good.

Which reminds me, I need a trip to the beach!

Danny

There are parallels to Job. But the First Noble Truth of Buddhism is "All life is suffering." Sounds like City Cat to me. Buddha solved the problem differently than CityCat. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism is "Suffering is caused by Attachment (sometimes translated to English as Desire). The third Noble Truth, "To eliminate Suffering, eliminate Attachment." And then onto the core of Buddhist teaching.

City Cat isn't the only Russian I know of who finds the trick is "to find a moment or person that is good and hang onto it." But her main insight, that all life is Suffering is one that is core to many religious traditions.

I hope she finds ways skillful for her to cope with this reality.

5-15-2002 Met, by chance, while I traveled on business

3-15-2005 I-129F
9-18-2005 Visa in hand
11-23-2005 She arrives in USA
1-18-2006 She returns to Russia, engaged but not married

11-10-2006 We got married!

2-12-2007 I-130 sent by Express mail to NSC
2-26-2007 I-129F sent by Express mail to Chicago lock box
6-25-2007 Both NOA2s in hand; notice date 6-15-2007
9-17-2007 K3 visa in hand
11-12-2007 POE Atlanta

8-14-2008 AOS packet sent
9-13-2008 biometrics
1-30-2009 AOS interview
2-12-2009 10-yr Green Card arrives in mail

2-11-2014 US Citizenship ceremony

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Filed: Other Country: Russia
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There are parallels to Job. But the First Noble Truth of Buddhism is "All life is suffering." Sounds like City Cat to me. Buddha solved the problem differently than CityCat. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism is "Suffering is caused by Attachment (sometimes translated to English as Desire). The third Noble Truth, "To eliminate Suffering, eliminate Attachment." And then onto the core of Buddhist teaching.

City Cat isn't the only Russian I know of who finds the trick is "to find a moment or person that is good and hang onto it." But her main insight, that all life is Suffering is one that is core to many religious traditions.

I hope she finds ways skillful for her to cope with this reality.

This is exactly the way I deal with the reality - it sucks and I have to fight hard to survive in it. I don't have unreasonable optimistic expectations, I know hum much I am worth, and what I can give to the world and what I can get back from it. That's why I always land on four paws (my nick name actually is meaningful)

People just tend to dress up the world around if they can't deal with all downsides of it. That's simply weak in my book.

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Filed: Other Country: Russia
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CityCat,

this is the famous Russian attitude, LOL. But I swear there are happy people in this world. I used to share your view, but now that I have seen happy people and know they exist... I will not agree to be unhappy anymore. Not for all the great jobs and lovely cars.

"Life is hard and then you die" is still my motto, but it does not hold the same dark meaning anymore.

If you find that moment, you strreeeeetch it, recreate it and stretch it again. Until it covers most of your life/time... and when you see that 90% of time you are happy - can you deny that you are happy in general. Regardless of the other 10% that surely still suck :devil: Like going through immigration...

Anyway... happiness (or not) is a choice. It barely depends on outside circumstances, although happiness/unhappiness can be and often is triggered by outside events. You may choose to be unhappy (there is pleasure in this too, of course), but it is a choice, not inevitable reality.

Happiness is just a word. Pretty meaningless for me...

Define happiness? Who is happy? People who smile? Than the whole US is crazily happy! It doesn't make any sense.

There is no happy/unhappy. There things you do, things you give and things you get back. It has nothing to do with nationality, it's just a reasonable attitude.

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Well, you know, I don't like generalizations. This kind of attitude is quite common among artists, highly intelligent people, or young people (who are also highly intelligent). I don't think it has anything to do with nationality or ethnic background.

The medication comment is out of line, imo. I was clinically depressed in my teenage years, and I can assure you, depression has nothing to do with being sad. Yes, it makes you feel sad, but it also gives you a sense of helplessness - you feel crappy, and you desperately want for it to stop, but you just can't fix it. This is where medication comes into play - it definitely helps. Depression is a chemical imbalance of (mainly) serotonine and neuropenephrine in your brain, whereas pessimism is just an individual choice of how a person wants to feel about life. And it sure helps people to be creative and it can also be a source of inspiration. I respect that. I do not feel the same way about life as CityCat does, but I don't think that feeling this way is abnormal.

THANK YOU!!!!! I am young and talented and highly intellectual (and I can PROVE it - at my age I have achieved more than many people can hope to achieve in their whole life)

The source of inspiration, you say? Well, not really, not for me. My source of inspiration is people and crazy things they do and crazy lives they live.

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