Moving to Russia

[slim 1,525]

I work 12 hour days now and I only get "paid" after I beg the boss (my wife) for some of my money back. Plus, $200-$400/month buys a lot of beer in Russia!

Thank you for the invitation Thomas! I once was in a band called...... 4th Meal!!! (dodooo dodood *air guitar* doooo wheeeeooop) and I'm a big fan of the "spicy" stuff.

[Satellite 1]

I beg the boss (my wife) for some of my money back.

You lost control of your money that fast?! I am amazed. She has gotten a full grasp of how our financial system works, from credit cards, bills. checks, direct deposit, on line payments, etc.? All the fun stuff I do exclusively here.

Plus, $200-$400/month buys a lot of beer in Russia!

It sure will. But renting even a small one bedroom in Siberia will run you $100 to $300 a month! Now you see the problem? And what about all the other costs? Transportation, food, clothing, etc. It's only fun when your salary is $2000-$4000 a month and you live in Russia.

[slim 1,525]

I beg the boss (my wife) for some of my money back.

You lost control of your money that fast?! I am amazed. She has gotten a full grasp of how our financial system works, from credit cards, bills. checks, direct deposit, on line payments, etc.? All the fun stuff I do exclusively here.

I still do those things exclusively as well because what she hasn't grasped is the fact that if we only have $1000 and we have $985 in bills, we can't go to a nice dinner. Well, not unless you count Taco Bell as a nice dinner. (4th Meal!!!)

Plus, $200-$400/month buys a lot of beer in Russia!

It sure will. But renting even a small one bedroom in Siberia will run you $100 to $300 a month! Now you see the problem? And what about all the other costs? Transportation, food, clothing, etc. It's only fun when your salary is $2000-$4000 a month and you live in Russia.

Fun is all relative. I had some of the most fun I've ever had in my life while staying in Korea and I only had a few hundred bucks a month after paying my bills back in the States. I'm hoping to have no bills back in the States by the time we go to Russia. We should have a free place to stay too, so that will help a lot. I realize no matter where we go there are going to be bills and money is going to be tight, but I'm pretty sure it will be fairly easy to live the simple life. No credit? No problem. Literally.

[Nancy2015 2]

I miss my country a great deal. I think if something happened to my marriage, I would just pack up my bags and go back in a heartbeat.

The funniest thing is, I didn't miss it that much before, while I was settling down, learning and exploring the U.S. - it was fun. It still is, but over time that I've spent here, I have become increasingly nostalgic, and I haven't learned to cope with the fact that I'm being treated as a foreigner. I've been learning English all my life since I was a little kid, and I've been l imagining how cool it would be to spend some time in an English-speaking country and blend in with the locals.

Well, never happened. The reality hit me harder than I could have possibly imagined. I understand that I will always be a foreigner here - no matter how many years I spend in this country. It's hard. What's even harder is that one of my teachers at school, who lived in China and Zambia for a long time, told me that once you spend a few years in another country, you won't feel completely at home in your native country any more, and you won't feel at home abroad either. Wow, great news I suppose, it's true. And that means I have no home any more. Bingo.

Another thing is my job. I hate it. Sure, I can find another one, but I can't get a decent job without networking, which I suck at. Back home I wouldn't get a problem getting a great job with great money and benefits, and in a multi-national company like Wrigley or KPMG, not some crappy accounting firm with two and a half accountants here

It's been very frustrating. If not for my husband, who has been my life-line for years now, I wouldn't be here. I don't know - I may get used to it, but what scares me is that I was very happy here before, and I'm not any more. Well, they say it takes a few years to become homesick, I guess it's true. I hope it will pass.

I had a bad day today, and, as always, there's nothing to do at work, so I chose to rant here.

:crying: :crying: :crying:

[Kharkov_Natalie 0]

I miss my country a great deal. I think if something happened to my marriage, I would just pack up my bags and go back in a heartbeat.

The funniest thing is, I didn't miss it that much before, while I was settling down, learning and exploring the U.S. - it was fun. It still is, but over time that I've spent here, I have become increasingly nostalgic, and I haven't learned to cope with the fact that I'm being treated as a foreigner. I've been learning English all my life since I was a little kid, and I've been l imagining how cool it would be to spend some time in an English-speaking country and blend in with the locals.

Well, never happened. The reality hit me harder than I could have possibly imagined. I understand that I will always be a foreigner here - no matter how many years I spend in this country. It's hard. What's even harder is that one of my teachers at school, who lived in China and Zambia for a long time, told me that once you spend a few years in another country, you won't feel completely at home in your native country any more, and you won't feel at home abroad either. Wow, great news I suppose, it's true. And that means I have no home any more. Bingo.

Another thing is my job. I hate it. Sure, I can find another one, but I can't get a decent job without networking, which I suck at. Back home I wouldn't get a problem getting a great job with great money and benefits, and in a multi-national company like Wrigley or KPMG, not some crappy accounting firm with two and a half accountants here

It's been very frustrating. If not for my husband, who has been my life-line for years now, I wouldn't be here. I don't know - I may get used to it, but what scares me is that I was very happy here before, and I'm not any more. Well, they say it takes a few years to become homesick, I guess it's true. I hope it will pass.

I had a bad day today, and, as always, there's nothing to do at work, so I chose to rant here.

I totally understand what you are going through, but I am experiencing it the other way around. I moved to Ukraine 4 years ago and loved it here. I loved the culture, the people and was happier here than in the States. When I returned home last year for 9 months, I found that I had two homes and I didn't feel 100% happy in either one of them.

In Ukraine I get tired of being the American who is thought of as super rich and always gets treated differently. I get tired of the attitudes that some have against Americans - that some still think I am a spy

In America I find that I have changed very much and can't relate to all of the things that I used to be able to relate to. The concerns that people have there and the materialism (it is in Ukraine too, of course, just in a different way...)

But, since I married a local - well, he is Russian, but where I live in Ukraine most people have Russian roots and see Russia and Eastern Ukraine as mostly the same... anyway, I have been doing things I would never have done as a single American girl here and even the simplest things are so difficult and require pay-offs. So, I get frustrated with the level of corruption here and how everyone seems to be on the take.... from the government offices that we have to deal with to the little old "sweet" babushka who lied to us and stole $30 from us last month. I understand now why a lot of people are so on edge all the time and why they are so mistrustful of strangers.

I understand the OPs desire to move to Russia and spend time there. I felt the same way 4 years ago. But now if I didn't have a job that I love (I work with kids who are going through some tough stuff at home), I would go home. Life is just so much harder here and it is heartbreaking to watch how so many lives are destroyed through lack of opportunities, alcoholism, etc.

Hang in there, Jewel, I think it is normal for us to get nostalgic about home... but as my friend reminded me last night, it is easy to romanticize and remember things better than they are.

[Nancy2015 2]

I totally understand what you are going through, but I am experiencing it the other way around. I moved to Ukraine 4 years ago and loved it here. I loved the culture, the people and was happier here than in the States. When I returned home last year for 9 months, I found that I had two homes and I didn't feel 100% happy in either one of them.

In Ukraine I get tired of being the American who is thought of as super rich and always gets treated differently. I get tired of the attitudes that some have against Americans - that some still think I am a spy

In America I find that I have changed very much and can't relate to all of the things that I used to be able to relate to. The concerns that people have there and the materialism (it is in Ukraine too, of course, just in a different way...)

But, since I married a local - well, he is Russian, but where I live in Ukraine most people have Russian roots and see Russia and Eastern Ukraine as mostly the same... anyway, I have been doing things I would never have done as a single American girl here and even the simplest things are so difficult and require pay-offs. So, I get frustrated with the level of corruption here and how everyone seems to be on the take.... from the government offices that we have to deal with to the little old "sweet" babushka who lied to us and stole $30 from us last month. I understand now why a lot of people are so on edge all the time and why they are so mistrustful of strangers.

I understand the OPs desire to move to Russia and spend time there. I felt the same way 4 years ago. But now if I didn't have a job that I love (I work with kids who are going through some tough stuff at home), I would go home. Life is just so much harder here and it is heartbreaking to watch how so many lives are destroyed through lack of opportunities, alcoholism, etc.

Hang in there, Jewel, I think it is normal for us to get nostalgic about home... but as my friend reminded me last night, it is easy to romanticize and remember things better than they are.

Wow, Natalie, you do understand me!! It makes me feel better already

I may remember things better than they are, but at the same time, I'm still in touch with my college friends in Moscow. All of them already have great jobs, they buy cars and condos, and here I am - renting an apartment from a slumlord, driving a used Honda and making crappy money in an admin job It makes me sad I try to think of unpleasant things, like Moscow subway during the rush hour or traffic jams, or the terrible weather (it rains practically all the time), and it helps a little

[CityCat 0]

Look, people, there is no paradise on Earth!

It sucks here as much as it sucks there, you either can handle it and move on or not and than, go back home to your mommy and daddy!

It is prevailing in the American attitude to life though to expect the absolute happiness from the reality and do anything possible to get it without losing hope that it can be done. That's childish. Life is horrible by definition, people are born into misery and die in misery, the trick is to find a moment or a person that's good and hold on to it.

What do you expect being an immigrant? You are homeless per se, not already belonging "there" and not yet (and never) belonging here. You knew what you were getting into. You make a sacrifice to be with a person you love, so be it!

It won't get better ever, just because of the way feelings work, so simply remember why you did it at the first place, Jewel!

[Nancy2015 2]

Life is horrible by definition, people are born into misery and die in misery

Wow, CityCat, you must be a Buddhist!

Well, it's kinda weird not to have a place where you can feel 100% at home, but maybe it takes some getting used to. Maybe not - maybe I'm gonna feel uncomfortable for the rest of my life. I will know for sure in 10 years - it seems like enough time to figure out

[Turboguy 6]

Wow, I think I will have to bookmark that post and read it every morning at the start of the day. Makes me real happy that I find my life happy and fulfilling and enjoy every minute of it. I do sort of remember feeling like that when I was married to my first wife though.

[CityCat 0]

Wow, I think I will have to bookmark that post and read it every morning at the start of the day. Makes me real happy that I find my life happy and fulfilling and enjoy every minute of it. I do sort of remember feeling like that when I was married to my first wife though.

See? Very American: "I am happy and everyone should be" That's exactly what I was talking about... Big big mistake!

[CityCat 0]

Life is horrible by definition, people are born into misery and die in misery

Wow, CityCat, you must be a Buddhist!

It is a quote from some religious book, Christian, but I am not particularly sure, Catholic or Orthodox or maybe something else, don't remember. It's a good quote - it has helped me a lot in life.

[slim 1,525]

once you spend a few years in another country, you won't feel completely at home in your native country any more, and you won't feel at home abroad either.

That's completely true for me, at least. I lived abroad for a couple years, and whenever I came home, I felt like I was missing something. Still do, and can't wait to move out of here. I'm comfortable here, but I can't say I feel like I'm "home."

Another thing is my job. I hate it.

I had a bad day today, and, as always, there's nothing to do at work, so I chose to rant here.

Sounds like your job is really not that bad. Bad day = VJ time. Can't be too hard to handle. The problem most people have here in the U.S. when it comes to jobs and being happy is they think in terms irrelevant to thier own. For example, you're basing the status of your life and happiness on what your friends from college are doing. You're saying to yourself that you're not successful and happy because you don't have a nice car and a condo. Well, where you live in California, driving a POS Honda and renting a slum isn't really that bad, either. I bet you're doing a helluva lot better than a lot of people out there. It's all relative to what you want. If you want a condo, move to the Midwest. Condos here are probably half the price of an apartment there. Nice car? No problem. Cars can be had for zero down! You've got credit based on your income.... use it! That's the American Dream! Everything you want and working a s#!tty job for 40 years to pay for it.

It's not that bad! (I understand the healing power of a good rant..... just come on back to reality. It's OK too!)

Just a small aside - Think about why Americans smile in pictures. (We want to "look" happy!)

[Nancy2015 2]

Well, where you live in California, driving a POS Honda and renting a slum isn't really that bad, either. I bet you're doing a helluva lot better than a lot of people out there. It's all relative to what you want. If you want a condo, move to the Midwest. Condos here are probably half the price of an apartment there. Nice car? No problem. Cars can be had for zero down! You've got credit based on your income.... use it! That's the American Dream! Everything you want and working a s#!tty job for 40 years to pay for it.

Yep, you're right about the material side of things - if my calculations are correct, then in 5 years me and my hubster will have saved enough money to buy a nice house in Texas (or some other state, but not Cali) - that's by working in pretty average jobs (if we maintain the same lifestyle all this time, of course). And my Honda is not really a POS - it's very nice I also expect to start working on my Master's next year, and I feel it may really help me get a job that may be called "respectable"

Sure it ain't that bad - but I get homesick at times

[dmhweb 0]

Look, people, there is no paradise on Earth!

It sucks here as much as it sucks there, you either can handle it and move on or not and than, go back home to your mommy and daddy!

It is prevailing in the American attitude to life though to expect the absolute happiness from the reality and do anything possible to get it without losing hope that it can be done. That's childish. Life is horrible by definition, people are born into misery and die in misery, the trick is to find a moment or a person that's good and hold on to it.

What do you expect being an immigrant? You are homeless per se, not already belonging "there" and not yet (and never) belonging here. You knew what you were getting into. You make a sacrifice to be with a person you love, so be it!

It won't get better ever, just because of the way feelings work, so simply remember why you did it at the first place, Jewel!

WOW! City... You sound depressed.

Life is what you make of it. At least here in the USA almost anyone can have the opportunity to succeed (or fail). Here it's more of a choice than in some other countries.

[CityCat 0]

WOW! City... You sound depressed.

Life is what you make of it. At least here in the USA almost anyone can have the opportunity to succeed (or fail). Here it's more of a choice than in some other countries.

Succeed in what? Fail in what? It's the deepest philosophical question: what is happiness?

I have a successful challenging career all lined up in front of me, I live in a great place, have a super sweet new ride, I am also socially successful and if you read my posts discussing some issues of beauty, you'd also know that I am considerably physically attractive (I posted under "noone" then) and relatively healthy. I have a husband that loves me and I love him dearly. Well, guess what?

LIFE STILL SUCKS!

I don't want to bore you with a clinical definition of depression, but I hope you'd take my word for it - I am not depressed.

It's just a stone cold fact - life is a misery by definition. And optimistic Americans try to cover it with glossy smiles on their family pictures.