ATTENTION JULY FILERS!

[Jeraly 4]

Ok - I sent him a big long e-mail... I think I just need to sleep and we need to talk - he got himself all depressed and I don't know how to get him out of it...

[Bill y Bella 0]

Gratzies to the approvees and good luck to all the touchees!!

So far still nothing - Timeline is saying 26 Dec and no touches...

Am freaking out a bit - Jeremy is having a hard time coping with being apart at the moment and I don't really know what to do. I am fine at the moment - I have decided instead of wallowing in self pity I am going to get on with my life and take each day as it comes, live for the moment as best I can, see him when I can but to not obsess over spending so much time online with him that we sit around bored because we have exhausted so many of the things we can do online...

He's scared we're not going to make it and I told him that of course we are - we have worked so hard and we have come so far that we just have to keep going but I just don't know what else to do - I don't know how to reassure him or make him feel better about it. I know we will be fine - it'll be more hard work and maybe a bit more time but while I love him, I am not living for him right now because it would drive me insane making him the centre of my life but not being able to be with him (this sounds horrible and I am probably not making myself clear because I have had a horrible day and I am so so tired).

What I am trying to say is that he places so much on being with me that he can't concentrate on the rest of his life and feels constant pain and turmoil because all he wants is to be with me and nothing more. Me being a little more practical feels the same but not to the detriment of my wellbeing - for me it is important to keep my head together now so we *do* make it through this and it has taken me a long time to figure out how to do that...

I'm just scared - I hate him feeling bad but at the same time I don't know how to make him feel better

You might tell him to grow a pair because you are too busy to do it for him.

Only kidding. Young guys get that way sometimes. I remember doing the same thing. The best thing you can do is tell him to snap out of it. He will pout for a while, but eventually he will see the light.

[Jeraly 4]

Yeah I kinda did that in a long winded way - I just feel like I am trying my best to make good of a crappy situation but that things have finally got on top of him and he is now freaking out that we don't have much of a relationship at the moment... I mean how can we?!?! We're 5500 miles away!!

I'm just fed up trying to do the right thing and it never being right... if anyone ever works out a way to keep everyone happy all at once will they please let me know? If you can bottle it and sell it it would be even better - you'd make a fortune!

[DKM 0]

Jeraly,

what you are saying makes perfect sense to me. It can happen a lot in our situations because we tend to worry about growing apart while we are not together. As a guy I too started to stress when my girl spent less time communicating with me than in the earlier months. The reality is just how you said it, we don't have a lot more to talk about because we are literally living our lives apart on other sides of the world. I see your situation is a lot like my own and its making me realize what my girl is probably thinking (like you I mean).

Tell him not to think about it too hard, you aren't going anywhere. He probably just wants to know that being with him is your #1 goal and you should remind him of that everyday. If you aren't spending hours talking to him, that doesn't mean he isn't #1 so part of it is his own issue to work out in his head. Tell him its ok to feel like he's being a bit crazy about the whole thing, this is a stressful process to go through. I know I started doing better when I stopped focusing on whether we can make it and instead just live my life as before. You guys will make it.

[Jeraly 4]

I know but it is just so stressful and upsetting. He's scared that we won't be the same people we fell in love with and I explained that of course we won't - that we are always growing and that we can't truly grow together until we are together in person. It will be scary because we both will have changed. I just hope that where I feel it has strengthened me that it hasn't weakened him.

[a-jeanne 2]

Jeraly - I know that it's so hard to be 4000+ miles away. Love can conquer anything. If you love each other as much as you say you do, it will get you through. You - all of us - have come too far to turn back now. Look how far we have made it in this process! And as you know the hardest thing is not knowing. So, when you get to the NOA2, their will be much relief for both of you knowing that it's not that much further to go. I know that when we first started in our long distance relationship (this I know is an understatement), we knew that there would be lonesome times and times that we just want to be together so terribly bad that we wouldn't want to go on. When we made the committment to go through with this process, the miles seemed like nothing anymore. I feel much closer because we are far apart. I just feels good knowing that he loves me as much as I love him. That's what gets us through.

I think that your OH is going through what mine is as far as retirement goes and is having a lot of time on his hands and has just too much time to think. Phil gave his notice at his company and they told him he could work up until the Visa is final, which is very fortunate for us. If he was retired and all he thought about was me - he certainly would drive himself nuts (and me), which I think that's what your OH is doing.

Hang in there Jeraly - the end of this process is soon - I just know that all is going to be well. I wish you both the best of luck and if there is anything that I can do - let me know.

Take care................

[Jeraly 4]

I know - it just feels so horrible - we don't get a lot of time to talk at the moment because we are both so busy and that doesn't help - when we get together we want to do fun things but I just feel like I am going mad - I felt like everything was going ok - ok we have the whole visa/wedding shenanigans but it will all work out in the end...

My take on it all at the moment is that eventually however long it takes, we will be together and things will be ok. I never *never* used to think like that. I used to think it in my head at least but feeling it in my heart was another matter. But something has changed - i got fed up of being miserable all the time and told myself I was going to make the best of the situation, live each day one at a time and be happy because I wasn't achieving anything by being miserable... but now I just want him to feel the same...

[DKM 0]

yeah I know that feeling because I felt we changed a lot when I saw my girl again a few weeks ago. I remember even telling her she changed and it seemed not for the better. But after a few days together, I realized that most of my anxiety was self fulfilling and once I got used to being around her we seemed to click. By the end of the trip we were inseperable and totally in love again.

You should expect there to be some awkwardness between you two when you see each other in person again. Its totally normal at first but instead of analyzing it, he should just relax and let the adjustment work itself out. Another thing that helped is she told me that I was analyzing too much and I should just be myself and not try to force things to be a certain way. And she did it with her smart a$$ Russian sense of humor, which works wonders when i'm like that. Maybe you should tell him the same.

[Jeraly 4]

Thing is we both know things will work out - he's online now so i can speak to him at last which is not ideal at 1am when I have work but at least we can get things sorted - I think he just needed to let his worries get off his chest as we aren't going to see each other much this week and he didn't want it hanging over him on Thanksgiving etc.

Haha - now he's trying to cheer me up and get me to chillax so I can sleep ok

[a-jeanne 2]

I know what you mean - analyze and paralyze. I used to be very good at it and am now taking it one day at a time.

I know that one of the things that helps me are my family and friends. My colleages are a huge support system for me too and they are like family as well. So, being surrounded constantly by people who love me is such a wonderful thing.

If I have learned anything about this process, is that I can be happy alone and have a contentment that I have never had before. I can't explain it but it's there.

[Jeraly 4]

Same here - I used to hate being alone but I feel like I am a more rounded person now I have gotten used to it - it doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with him - it just means I can appreciate my own company as well.

[a-jeanne 2]

Absolutely Jeraly - it's a part of maturity to be comfortable in our own skin. I know that when this process is over, we will be more thankful for what we have because we have had to work so hard for it. It is all worth it to be with someone that we love. If we can make it through this - we can make it through anything!

I'm pulling for everyone and staying positive! We will all get what we want very soon.

[Seattle2Cebu 0]

my fiance communicates with me much more than in the beginning. Weve had a few ups and downs, but things

have been going well. We are both working on individual goals and staying busy that way. You dont have the

influence of the physical, and in some ways, I think that makes for a better relationship before marriage.

Same here - I used to hate being alone but I feel like I am a more rounded person now I have gotten used to it - it doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with him - it just means I can appreciate my own company as well.

[DanielParul 50]

Current Status: Approval notice sent.

On November 20, 2007, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E). Please follow any instructions on the notice. If you move before you receive the notice, call customer service.

Approved!!! Thank You God!! Thanks Everybody. The Approvals are coming people

[my_lany_23 0]

Current Status: Approval notice sent.

On November 20, 2007, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E). Please follow any instructions on the notice. If you move before you receive the notice, call customer service.

Approved!!! Thank You God!! Thanks Everybody. The Approvals are coming people

oh wow a big CONGRATS to you guys... you are a late july filer and got approved already, this is giving me hope...

To all the others who got approved CONGRATULATIONS...!!! keep us up to date with your visa application