Looking to know what are my options [Going for Divorce, TN]

[African Zealot 1,456]

Lots of misinformation and wrong advice on this thread. To the OP, unfortunately from where you and your spouse have gotten in your immigration process, there’s almost nothing you can do.

 

He can apply for anything he’s qualified for with regards to public assistance and your letter to the authorities would be of no effect although you’re still on the hook for the financial sponsorship.

 

I would say focus on the civil part of the mess ie divorce and forget about the immigration part and restricting  what he can and cannot do wrt public benefits.

 

Good luck!

[Cheschirecat 176]

11 hours ago, WaterLeaf said:

Hi all. Long story short, things went downhill pretty quick and my Husband isn't doing enough to support (leach) nor try to act like a real Husband PM me if you want to help me talk about it. So less detail of the drama in case he see this (he'll end up making his own account anyway).

So I'm looking into getting divorce when I can. We're still in the same apartment, but using a different primary address. It's been like this since day 1 when he came here.

While I'm already getting myself a manufactured home set up (all in my name, not his) and to be away from him, I know there seem to be some limitation at the moment that I can't just freely divorce my Husband in Tennessee. He don't want to move back home due to vaccination requirements. & I'm pretty sure even if I get the divorce papers ready for a easy sign to agree and divorce, he won't sign it.

So here where it get more difficult for me: I'm on the hook to support him because I filled the affidavit of support for him. So while I'm planning to be separated hopefully at least a year or will have to do more in order to get a divorce, I feel like I have to keep him on my health insurance and auto insurance(?? Because I'll assume he won't pay for his own and then cause a big debt liability that I'll end up having to pay more than what's covered if I had him covered??). I'm thinking about sending a mail to the Department of Human Service in my county to be sure he doesn't try to file for food stamp and other things because that's where I'll end up having to pay for if he gets it and such like that. If I can withdraw that affidavit of support and no longer be responsible for him I'd like to know how/when I can do that.

I've been contacting lawyers but I got no response. No phone call answered. No phone calls returned. I left voicemails. I called/emailed within 50 miles radius of me. I had not walked in to talk to someone yet but I'm planning to when I get time. Mostly I work a lot, sometimes double jobs. My Husband only works part time and he will not go for a full time job. I think he is planning to aim for unemployment but I don't know if that is also a public assistance that I'll end up having to pay back, which I think I do.

So I'm trying my best to do what's better for me and protect me because things had been getting pretty close to domestic violence. I'm all about learning all I need to know (give me links I'll appreciate it, threads, whatever it takes) and to be sure that I don't get screwed over by lawyer as well if something was missed. If I'm going to be separated from my Husband for 1 year, I think something else may come up and things get more complicated. I don't know what it'll be. Another marriage, or seeking public funds, idk. I just can't leave now because I don't have a place to stay at the moment. My home is going to be anytime between April or later.

Notice to mods: If I'm posting in the wrong section of the forum, I'd appreciate it if you could relocate it for me.

 

 

Don’t purchase the modular home while married. He will own Half of it even if it’s just in your name that’s TN law 

Edited January 10, 2022 by Cheschirecat

[MASH 172]

6 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

This is all incorrect.

I gave the advice I was given and it was already established that either I was misinformed or something changed in the policy.

 

happy to see the OP got the information needed and hopefully you have more insight to give her as well. 

[JeanneAdil 6,670]

10 hours ago, WaterLeaf said:

There are laws in TN that accept a divorce but my reasons do not fall under the grounding category for a divorce in TN. I heard some people got away with it easily but I don't know how recent was that and thinking the judge may not allow it for me.

To all, thanks for all the reply. I appreciate the infos. I may return for more question on this thread and still read up.

Let his immigration issues be his problem not yours

TN divorce laws say:

has irreconcilable differences with you

 

he refuses to work and doesn't help with the home is a irreconcilable difference

https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/tn/divorce#node-36588

 

You can divorce in TN even if he does not agree 

Is he on an apartment lease with u or your house deed?

In this state ,  u can not just put him out for laziness and cause him to be homeless but a landlord can (if he poses a threat to other tenants)

Car insurance?   does he own one?   

if he has a DL and lives with u ,  u do have to keep him on your car insurance in this state

if he has no car to take when he moves out,  then no problem

 

GF ,  u do need a lawyer to advise u for the divorce ONLY 

immigration is his issue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JeanneAdil 6,670]

if you fear domestic violence or it happens,  call 911

there are women's shelters and help there to get u back in apartment and him out

 

u call 911   

don't force domestic violence issue 

[WaterLeaf 201]

6 hours ago, African Zealot said:

Lots of misinformation and wrong advice on this thread. To the OP, unfortunately from where you and your spouse have gotten in your immigration process, there’s almost nothing you can do.

 

He can apply for anything he’s qualified for with regards to public assistance and your letter to the authorities would be of no effect although you’re still on the hook for the financial sponsorship.

 

I would say focus on the civil part of the mess ie divorce and forget about the immigration part and restricting  what he can and cannot do wrt public benefits.

 

Good luck!

We know that misinformation is already corrected and doesn't need to be mentioned again...

4 hours ago, Cheschirecat said:

Don’t purchase the modular home while married. He will own Half of it even if it’s just in your name that’s TN law 

TN isn't a 50/50 law.

[WaterLeaf 201]

3 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

Let his immigration issues be his problem not yours

TN divorce laws say:

has irreconcilable differences with you

 

he refuses to work and doesn't help with the home is a irreconcilable difference

https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/tn/divorce#node-36588

 

You can divorce in TN even if he does not agree 

Is he on an apartment lease with u or your house deed?

In this state ,  u can not just put him out for laziness and cause him to be homeless but a landlord can (if he poses a threat to other tenants)

Car insurance?   does he own one?   

if he has a DL and lives with u ,  u do have to keep him on your car insurance in this state

if he has no car to take when he moves out,  then no problem

 

GF ,  u do need a lawyer to advise u for the divorce ONLY 

immigration is his issue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He only work part time. He won't work full time. Only take out trash once in a while and clean dishes but never do any other household chores. He never done any laundry since he got here. He only do things at time (sometimes) when I tell him to. We had a compiled list of plans that we were going to do and now he never talking about the future, leaving me with nothing to know about the future. He didn't start putting money in retirement until like last month or so. I've been putting money in retirement on my account.
In the apartment, we both have our name on it. I'm going to leave the apartment. I won't leave him in a homeless state which may put him into seeking public welfare assistance and I'll have to pay for that. So I will avoid this homeless situation.
He is not on the house nor deed. I won't let him go to the manufactured home because of his actions of not being able to successfully provide; working full time and help out around the house. God forbid if I had a kid and he just not feeding it because he is too busy on the computer. So I still think this won't fall into the irreconcilable difference.

There is 1 car that have his and my name on it. No payment. I maintains it and pay for the auto insurance. I'm willing to leave this one up to him so he can get around. I have my own car and it's only in my name.

I know immigration is his issue and I never said anything "what will happen to his immigration?". That's none of my business. I'm here to find what I do to protect myself because I am a sponsor for him for the I-864. I know the website want to keep the compiled information that worked over the years so I'm going to leave it at that and not update my profile, my Husband will work on his profile and continue from that.

Edited January 10, 2022 by WaterLeaf
oops, merge didn't merge.

[WaterLeaf 201]

3 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

if you fear domestic violence or it happens,  call 911

there are women's shelters and help there to get u back in apartment and him out

 

u call 911   

don't force domestic violence issue 

I know about this. Nothing is at that level yet. I'm just trying to deescalate situations before it get there. Meaning I'll have to keep my mouth shut even if he leave food on the carpet and never clean it.

[JeanneAdil 6,670]

He is not on the house nor deed. I won't let him go to the manufactured home because of his actions of not being able to successfully provide; working full time and help out around the house. God forbid if I had a kid and he just not feeding it because he is too busy on the computer. So I still think this won't fall into the irreconcilable difference.

 

What are Irreconcilable Differences? “Irreconcilable differences” technically means that an individual and their spouse cannot get along with one another enough to keep the marriage alive, and this lack of getting along can cause a whole array of other issues in the marriage

[JeanneAdil 6,670]

25 minutes ago, WaterLeaf said:

We know that misinformation is already corrected and doesn't need to be mentioned again...

TN isn't a 50/50 law.

its only 50/50 for child custody 

 

to OP 

 

The State of Tennessee is not a 50 50 (fifty-fifty) state for division of marital property in divorce. Tennessee is an equitable distribution state for property division in divorce but courts are required to consider a list of factors in determining which spouse receives what assets.

Edited January 10, 2022 by JeanneAdil

[SalishSea 18,159]

3 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

its only 50/50 for child custody 

 

to OP 

 

The State of Tennessee is not a 50 50 (fifty-fifty) state for division of marital property in divorce. Tennessee is an equitable distribution state for property division in divorce but courts are required to consider a list of factors in determining which spouse receives what assets.

OP, I would definitely not purchase property while still married to him.  Can you easily get a formal, legal separation as the first step?  And if so, can you purchase separate property after that?

 

Also - do you really need "grounds" for divorce?  It's not 1950.  No court is going to refuse to allow a divorce just because one person doesn't want it.

[Cheschirecat 176]

4 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

its only 50/50 for child custody 

 

to OP 

 

The State of Tennessee is not a 50 50 (fifty-fifty) state for division of marital property in divorce. Tennessee is an equitable distribution state for property division in divorce but courts are required to consider a list of factors in determining which spouse receives what assets.

Well… I couldn’t sell my last house until I provided a quit claim deed signed by my ex husband and now my friend is going  thru the same thing except she’s fighting for half… 

[TBoneTX 46,175]

The OP needs to consult with one or more divorce attorneys ASAP.

[WaterLeaf 201]

On 1/10/2022 at 12:21 PM, JeanneAdil said:

its only 50/50 for child custody 

 

to OP 

 

The State of Tennessee is not a 50 50 (fifty-fifty) state for division of marital property in divorce. Tennessee is an equitable distribution state for property division in divorce but courts are required to consider a list of factors in determining which spouse receives what assets.

For child custody is something I've probably didn't noticed because I don't have a kid lol. Thanks for bringing it up.

[WaterLeaf 201]

On 1/10/2022 at 3:40 PM, Jorgedig said:

OP, I would definitely not purchase property while still married to him.  Can you easily get a formal, legal separation as the first step?  And if so, can you purchase separate property after that?

 

Also - do you really need "grounds" for divorce?  It's not 1950.  No court is going to refuse to allow a divorce just because one person doesn't want it.

We'll see if the court will deny me and force me to support him via marriage or if I really need to prove ground. I've been hearing that I have to prove at some point but we'll see.

On 1/10/2022 at 5:18 PM, TBoneTX said:

The OP needs to consult with one or more divorce attorneys ASAP.

I got one to visit Tomorrow, other are scheduled.