Would like to withdraw a petition

[jelepano 19]

Hello! I am a USC. I filed for form I-130 for my mother recently, and later realized that I cannot take care of her so I would like to withdraw my petition. She doesn't know that I would like to withdraw my petition, and I don't have plans on telling her. Will USCIS tell her that I withdrew her application or she will never find out? Thanks in advance.

[JeanneAdil 6,511]

Did u tell her u made the petition?

if u did,   be honest and tell her

u can tell  USCIS to withdraw it ,  

or u don't do the AOS at NVC stage and let it die

but she is going to wonder what happen 

[Timona 4,207]

If you already paid for it, just let here get the GC and then ask talk to her to go back home. That is how I would do it. 

[jelepano 19]

1 hour ago, JeanneAdil said:

Did u tell her u made the petition?

if u did,   be honest and tell her

u can tell  USCIS to withdraw it ,  

or u don't do the AOS at NVC stage and let it die

but she is going to wonder what happen 

She knows I filed the petition. I can't tell her that I would like to withdraw because it will make me the bad child AGAIN.

[jelepano 19]

3 minutes ago, Timona said:

If you already paid for it, just let here get the GC and then ask talk to her to go back home. That is how I would do it. 

I don't want her to get the GC. I don't want her here because it means I have to deal with everything she comes with. Her visiting here is already too much and taking a toll on my mental health. I can't imagine the stress I'll be dealing when she's a GC already.

[Timona 4,207]

4 minutes ago, jelepano said:

I don't want her to get the GC. I don't want her here because it means I have to deal with everything she comes with. Her visiting here is already too much and taking a toll on my mental health. I can't imagine the stress I'll be dealing when she's a GC already.

I understand. But you already paid for it.

 

But it is upto you. I just do not want you to cancel, lose the money, later regret and start again.

[jelepano 19]

Just now, Timona said:

I understand. But you already paid for it.

 

But it is upto you. I just do not want you to cancel, lose the money, later regret and start again.

That is okay with me. My only concern is if USCIS will tell her that I withdrew the application for her.

[Ontarkie 14,226]

At this stage it is your petition and you can withdraw it without her being notified. Now if she has the file number she may be able to find information online about the status. If she doesn't have anything then don't worry about it. 

 

Do not petition anyone who is causing you anguish. Mother or not you do not owe her anything if this will be harmful to yourself. 

[jelepano 19]

1 minute ago, Ontarkie said:

At this stage it is your petition and you can withdraw it without her being notified. Now if she has the file number she may be able to find information online about the status. If she doesn't have anything then don't worry about it. 

 

Do not petition anyone who is causing you anguish. Mother or not you do not owe her anything if this will be harmful to yourself. 

Thank you so much! It's been too much, and she is the reason why I left. So much childhood trauma came back rushing.

[Ontarkie 14,226]

20 minutes ago, jelepano said:

Thank you so much! It's been too much, and she is the reason why I left. So much childhood trauma came back rushing.

You're welcome, take care of yourself. 

[JeanneAdil 6,511]

30 minutes ago, jelepano said:

Thank you so much! It's been too much, and she is the reason why I left. So much childhood trauma came back rushing.

then tell her and maybe she will cut the ties 

 

[Adventine 3,196]

You have a right to withdraw a petition if you realize it is a bad idea for her to come live in the US.

 

On a related note, it's a good idea to seek counseling for yourself so that you can process these issues with your parent and learn how to set healthy, firm boundaries. 

[Verrou 1,962]

it will be better if you told her so she knows....

but thats me, everybody are not the same

[JeanneAdil 6,511]

5 hours ago, Timona said:

I understand. But you already paid for it.

 

But it is upto you. I just do not want you to cancel, lose the money, later regret and start again.

all things are not paid for

there is the AOS fee ,   the ds 260 fee,  the green card fee and the airline ticket plus her health care 

 

OP

cancel the petition and save your sanity/ life is too short to be miserable

everyone has a family member they would rather not live with 

[SteveInBostonI130 3,459]

17 hours ago, jelepano said:

I don't want her to get the GC. I don't want her here because it means I have to deal with everything she comes with. Her visiting here is already too much and taking a toll on my mental health. I can't imagine the stress I'll be dealing when she's a GC already.

 

I believe it is better to let the petition to continue to approval.  The I-130 is only the first step.  The next step is the NVC stage, where you need to pay for the AOS and IV and complete/submit the additional forms and items.

 

At the NVC stage let the petition sit and don't pay the fees 

 

This will give you some time to reflect, perhaps get some therapy, and perhaps even to talk things out with your mother.  These are just options - none need to happen and you can let the petition die at NVC.

 

This solves one possible issue - you can honestly tell your mother that you didn't withdraw the petition.  Or not tell her anything and be guilt free than if you actively withdrew..

 

If things do work out and it's not too late (over 1 year waiting at NVC), then you can continue with the process.

 

There are posts here of fiance's/spouses/family that have withdrawn petitions after a fight only to regret doing it.  It sounds like your situation is deeper than a simple fight or disagreement, but by letting the petition get to the NVC stage you leave an option open.