Feedback On Comment "Are you willing to support me financially"

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On 11/29/2021 at 3:59 PM, Pandora Gadomski said:

2 words: Long Con

No disrespect meant

That said, tell her that you don't have any intentions on financially supporting her. If she still has the same feelings towards you and want to continue the relationship. I would keep it going. If it is a deal breaker for her if you refuse to support her, that tells you all you need to know. 

Good luck, I hope it works out

Yes I agree, I already told her No I will not be supporting you financially, now have to see if she wants to continue getting to know one another, and yes if she does not want to, or slacks off on communication than that tells me all I need to know. We will see.

[smore 19]

On 11/29/2021 at 6:42 PM, flicks1998 said:

Correct, many are 2+ years with steep penalties for breaking the contract early.  OP never said which country she was working in but sounded like she was a DH, maybe in Hong Kong or Singapore.  Either way, DH's are the low people on the totem pole.  6-7 day work weeks, long hour days, usually 12-16 hours and alot of abuse if they have Chinese employers.  Many DH's in HK or Singapore would try for a Western family as they were treated more humane.  Breaking the contract would result in the DH having to pay back most agency fees, flights, any additional expenses that were paid on behalf of the employee.  Plus it becomes harder to find future positions with black mark on your record especially with POEA involved.

She was in Hong Kong. Yes contracts are usually 2 or more years, she was able to only extend her last contract a year due to covid but sounds like they did want another 2 year contract. Sounds exactly right 6-7 day work weeks, long hours, and you are right employer did not treat her very well at all and living conditions, time to yourself and all was not great.

[smore 19]

On 11/29/2021 at 7:12 PM, kieffem said:

the problem is if she comes back early, like on the visit home, and stays.  My wife did that and she really didn't care if she was blacklisted because she came home to get engaged to me.  I met and proposed without meeting her while she was OFW in Saudi.  we Skyped and send a lot of emails.  I am not suggesting you are close to doing this because of the question you asked.  You do not trust her and that is clear.  So let her go to work since you also are not about to pay for her to wait there for you to eventually visit and see if she is worthy.  these days Covid is making the international dating a nightmare.  might be time to look closer to home until things settle down.

No one is holding her back from going back to OFW, she can go back to OFW as its her choice, I never mentioned anything about you can't go back to OFW, yes some people would come out and say that, but I just asked as I was curious why? Everyone now knowing the entire story is not fair. I asked because she was so excited to get out of hong kong, away from that employer, situation, and be back with family, and she was so excited to be home, just felt odd she wanted to leave. I do agree covid has made international dating a nightmare, I met her just before covid was known and had I known this was going to be delayed for so long I probably would of never gone this direction, but its very difficult as well to find any decent american women.

[smore 19]

On 11/29/2021 at 7:54 PM, Girandola said:

Our situation is different because you've never met. I met my fiancé in the Singapore airport when she was returning home as OFW. Before we would meet again she was back in Singapore for another 28 months. Chinese employer long hours and only allowed out on Sunday. During those 28 months we would spend her Sundays together on my many business trips there. Once her contract was up 5/2019, it was a no brainer for me. She would go home and wait for my divorce to finalize and I would support her. I couldn't live in a homeless camp for the amount of money it requires and she never asks for more. 

   What I'm getting to here is that in hindsight, if she had signed up for another 2 years, we could have processed her visa in Singapore and we would be together right now. Perhaps that is an avenue you can explore. Who knows when the USEM is going to clear this backlog. As others have mentioned, a western employer is better to have as they would be more flexible to your situation. My fiancés Chinese employer kept her passport so she couldn't leave. 

Yes it sounds like these Chinese employers are very harsh, she never really got her sundays off and that was supposed to be our day to talk on the phone, spend more time getting to know one another. It sounded like a very harsh situation that she was very glad to be leaving.