My daughter recently married a foreign student

[MikeNZ1984 44]

9 hours ago, wishiboughtaboat said:

I second this. It's your life and your decision but I feel like for the amount of turmoil and misery that you would be putting your daughter through for something that's is extremely low risk to you would be a bit cruel. I'm not sure how far his country is or how difficult it is for them to see each other but I know for a fact if my parents had added another 2 years of visa hell onto my already miserable k1 process I would have cut them out of my life. Thankfully my parents have been nothing but supportive this whole time. I just hope you can try and understand her situation.

This. If you decide not to do this, kiss goodbye to ever having your daughter or son in law visit you on the holidays again. 

Having been in that situation (as the immigrant son in law, whose wife was at university when we got married), I'll never forgive her aunt who talked her uncle out of co-sponsoring at the 11th hour (and before anyone asks about my wifes parents and why they didn't sponsor, one is not a us citizen and lives overseas, the other one died in a very traumatic incident during the filing process).  We were put in a last minute situation of having to decided to a) have my wife drop out of university, abandon all scholarships and get a low paying job b) us leaving the country or c) find a last minute co sponsor.

Thankfully we were able to do c) our half brother in law sponsored me, and I got citizenship last weekend. The likelyhood of your university educated son in law ever needing you to pay a cent to the government is slim to none. 

[LEISEROM 32]

We were asked to co sponsor a friend of my wifes. They required a cosponsor. But my problem was her husband was running a dog breeding business(all cash) and they lived in a far better house than ours on some acreage with kennels outside of Houston. I looked at their tax return and it was totally bs. No income or expense from this business(totally off books). 

 

We declined to do this. Some well off people from their dog breeding circle did so. It worked. They had a big party when she got her GC. I asked the man why he did this. He said he was okay with it. Whatever

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

On 11/7/2021 at 12:19 PM, MistyEyed said:

Hello everyone, my husband and I are distressed concerning our daughter's spouse being upset because we've decided not to co-sponsor his Green card application.

 

They dated for a couple of years and were married last month.  Now they're in the process of applying for his ten-year GC.  Our daughter is also a student and doesn't make enough money to sponsor him on her own.  

 

Initially, we were willing to help, but we are about a decade away from retirement, and after reading the I-864 form, we don't feel comfortable signing.  The financial risk is what concerns us. 

 

He said if we don't sign the application, he can't work and is very upset.  We feel terrible and unsure how to proceed.

Is there a reason why you don't wish to sponsor? The real risks to you are if he receives government benefits. If you believe he won't apply, there is relatively no risk. Although he can technically sue for support, it will be extremely difficult to find an attorney that will take the case. If one did, the chances of him winning are slim to none.

[Boiler 46,162]

2 hours ago, Pandora Gadomski said:

Is there a reason why you don't wish to sponsor? The real risks to you are if he receives government benefits. If you believe he won't apply, there is relatively no risk. Although he can technically sue for support, it will be extremely difficult to find an attorney that will take the case. If one did, the chances of him winning are slim to none.

A very quick google will find Lawyers who would be happy to help enforcing the I 864

 

I have no idea about success rates, please share your info.

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

56 minutes ago, Boiler said:

A very quick google will find Lawyers who would be happy to help enforcing the I 864

 

I have no idea about success rates, please share your info.

I guess it comes down to trust. Do you trust that your SIL won't sue you for support or try to collect government benefits? 

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

7 hours ago, LEISEROM said:

We were asked to co sponsor a friend of my wifes. They required a cosponsor. But my problem was her husband was running a dog breeding business(all cash) and they lived in a far better house than ours on some acreage with kennels outside of Houston. I looked at their tax return and it was totally bs. No income or expense from this business(totally off books). 

 

We declined to do this. Some well off people from their dog breeding circle did so. It worked. They had a big party when she got her GC. I asked the man why he did this. He said he was okay with it. Whatever

If you were uncomfortable with it, you did the right thing. It's about trust. If you trust the person won't sue you or apply for government benefits, it's all good. If not, you shouldn't risk it

[Boiler 46,162]

Who marries thinking it would end up in divorce?

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

12 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Who marries thinking it would end up in divorce?

True. But it's still about trust. Do you think he will sue for support or collect government benefits regardless of circumstance? 

[Boiler 46,162]

Some do, that is all I know

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

Just now, Boiler said:

Some do, that is all I know

True. But again, it's about trust. If you trust the person or not. If you don't, that's OK too. 

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

1 minute ago, Pandora Gadomski said:

True. But again, it's about trust. If you trust the person or not. If you don't, that's OK too. 

I think a person would have to have a lot of audacity and low character to sue their inlaws or former inlaws for financial support if the marriage didn't work out. Most would just go back to their country of origin or support themselves while awaiting citizenship. I still believe it's about trust and how well you know the person. If fear is an issue, maybe get a notarized statement from them claiming they will not try to sue in the event of divorce; "no" is a good response too.

[Redro 4,612]

3 hours ago, Pandora Gadomski said:

I think a person would have to have a lot of audacity and low character to sue their inlaws or former inlaws for financial support if the marriage didn't work out. Most would just go back to their country of origin or support themselves while awaiting citizenship. I still believe it's about trust and how well you know the person. If fear is an issue, maybe get a notarized statement from them claiming they will not try to sue in the event of divorce; "no" is a good response too.

Essentially, by saying "no" the parents are telling the son-in-law they don't trust him and most likely do not support the marriage. 

I can see how this is devastating to the new couple. Especially if one of their reasons for getting married/ starting the AOS process was because the parents offered their support. 

If my parents in law offered to help and then reneged on their agreement to help us out, I'd be questioning my relationship with them and might consider cutting contact. 

Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I don't want people in my life who believe a) my marriage will likely end and b) I'll sue them if I divorce my spouse. 

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

1 hour ago, Kor2USA said:

Essentially, by saying "no" the parents are telling the son-in-law they don't trust him and most likely do not support the marriage. 

I can see how this is devastating to the new couple. Especially if one of their reasons for getting married/ starting the AOS process was because the parents offered their support. 

If my parents in law offered to help and then reneged on their agreement to help us out, I'd be questioning my relationship with them and might consider cutting contact. 

Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I don't want people in my life who believe a) my marriage will likely end and b) I'll sue them if I divorce my spouse. 

I can agree. It's also a bit insulting. As I stated, you would need to have low moral character and audacity to sue your inlaws or ex-inlaws for support. That's some serious entitlement. Maybe it's better he knows what his inlaws think of him now. As well as the daughter, she no knows how they really feel about her marriage.

Edited November 16, 2021 by Pandora Gadomski

[Mike E 11,742]

11 hours ago, Boiler said:

Who marries thinking it would end up in divorce?

People who aren’t unconscious know that marriages can end in divorce. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm marriage rates are 6.1/1000 vs divorce rates of 2.7/1000.  2.7/6.1 = 44 percent. 
 

It’s like asking people who insure their cars for collision: “who buys a car thinking they will crash it?”

[Pandora Gadomski 22]

4 hours ago, Mike E said:

People who aren’t unconscious know that marriages can end in divorce. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm marriage rates are 6.1/1000 vs divorce rates of 2.7/1000.  2.7/6.1 = 44 percent. 
 

It’s like asking people who insure their cars for collision: “who buys a car thinking they will crash it?”

Yes, true. People also know their lives can end at any moment. Not sure what your point is. The i864 isn't about divorce or divorce rate, it's about trust. You trust the person you are going to sponsor, you think they are of good moral character,  or you don't. Not really sure what divorce has to do with it?