My daughter recently married a foreign student

[Coco8 1,042]

22 minutes ago, Mike E said:

Folks opining that it is low risk to sign an I-864 on this and similar threads might consider offering to sign an I-864 on this or other threads.  

 

This is very close family. It's not the same as signing for someone you do not know and don't expect to see every again.

 

[Pinkrlion 2,723]

3 hours ago, MistyEyed said:

Our daughter called this afternoon sobbing because our son-in-law told her that my husband and I are being unreasonable about not co-signing and causing him mental anguish.  

 

I've directed them to this message board and that we wish them well, but they will have to figure this out independently.  

Red Flag, why is it causing mental anguish.  That statement alone is ridiculous, when they are students and have several options to wait and file.

 

If I were the parents, I would just give them the money they need to file, the rest is on them.  That would be my obligation of supporting my daughter and her new husband.  I would not be providing my SSN and tax information to where her husband has access to seeing the information.  

[SalishSea 17,837]

3 hours ago, MistyEyed said:

Our daughter called this afternoon sobbing because our son-in-law told her that my husband and I are being unreasonable about not co-signing and causing him mental anguish.  

 

I've directed them to this message board and that we wish them well, but they will have to figure this out independently.  

Good.  They are adults.  US immigration is not cheap, and many of us have to scrimp and save, or get second (or better-paying) jobs to be able to bring over a spouse.  

 

And, you are not responsible for another person's "mental anguish."  He needs to find ways to cope with the entire situation.

Edited November 8, 2021 by Jorgedig

[igoyougoduke 1,656]

5 hours ago, MistyEyed said:

Our daughter called this afternoon sobbing because our son-in-law told her that my husband and I are being unreasonable about not co-signing and causing him mental anguish.  

 

I've directed them to this message board and that we wish them well, but they will have to figure this out independently.  

Huge Red Flag. Your gut feeling off is right all the time 

[Redro 4,611]

On 11/8/2021 at 3:09 AM, JeanneAdil said:

its $1225 to AOS

but the burden is  on them 

the decision to marry is so important and needs to be thought out completely and sorry,   to say,  doesn't seem like they did

i married 2nd year of college and had twins in 3rd year and it wasn't easy

it can be done 

but if i  could go back,   i would wait (just 2 years ) and graduate to make this life changing move

BTW i love my twins 

wishing them the best 

 

Put it this way

one way the son in law resents the decision

the other way u resent being forced 

either way someone is at odds with the other party

no winner here

But if you had your twins with a foreign national wouldn't your journey be a lot more difficult? 

Would you be able to raise your twins in the same way without your partner because you couldn't sponsor him and he had to return to his home country?

 

Just because you were able to make it work doesn't mean OP's daughter needs to struggle... 

[davidvs 337]

17 hours ago, Mike E said:

Folks opining that it is low risk to sign an I-864 on this and similar threads might consider offering to sign an I-864 on this or other threads.  

 

Actually, I signed for my wife's boss. No big deal... 

[Carpe Vinum 2,327]

20 hours ago, Pinkrlion said:

Red Flag, why is it causing mental anguish.  That statement alone is ridiculous, when they are students and have several options to wait and file.

 

If I were the parents, I would just give them the money they need to file, the rest is on them.  That would be my obligation of supporting my daughter and her new husband.  I would not be providing my SSN and tax information to where her husband has access to seeing the information.  

Yep, someone needs to step up...Mental anguish 😕

[Mike E 11,739]

11 hours ago, davidvs said:

 

Actually, I signed for my wife's boss. No big deal... 

Cool but that doesn’t address my point.

[Bret L Smith 15]

On 11/7/2021 at 9:19 AM, MistyEyed said:

Hello everyone, my husband and I are distressed concerning our daughter's spouse being upset because we've decided not to co-sponsor his Green card application.

 

They dated for a couple of years and were married last month.  Now they're in the process of applying for his ten-year GC.  Our daughter is also a student and doesn't make enough money to sponsor him on her own.  

 

Initially, we were willing to help, but we are about a decade away from retirement, and after reading the I-864 form, we don't feel comfortable signing.  The financial risk is what concerns us. 

 

He said if we don't sign the application, he can't work and is very upset.  We feel terrible and unsure how to proceed.

Don’t be distressed! It’s not as bad as it sounds.

Since Joe Biden took office I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that they I don’t really go after anybody, and I don’t understand why they are still having us fill out that I-864. 

But let me ask you this, how would you feel if your decision caused your daughter to move to his country?

I think that should concern you more.

Edited November 15, 2021 by Bret L Smith
To correct information

[Boiler 45,527]

Just now, Bret L Smith said:

Don’t be distressed! It’s not as bad as it sounds.

Since Joe Biden took office he reversed all this stuff and I don’t understand why they are still having us fill out that I-864. 

But let me ask you this, how would you feel if your decision caused your daughter to move to his country?

I think that should concern you more.

Well we do not know what country he is from, if mine he would need to show a lot more and no co sponsors.

 

Reversed what stuff? The I 864 has been around for a very long time and the requirements are pretty low.

[crespo 30]

I totally understand where everyone is coming from but I beg to differ a bit.

If you sponsor your son in law you are only financially responsible for him if he can't help him self and requires government assistance,  if he's been going to collage/University to have a career I cant see this falling back on you plus he has his wife.

[crespo 30]

Your only financially responsible for him if he seeks government assistance as you would have to pay the government back and last but not least your only responsible for him between a 5-7 year period after which your agreement is no longer binding 

[wishiboughtaboat 5]

On 11/8/2021 at 5:20 AM, African Zealot said:

I will just look at it from a probability standpoint. The probability that a college educated pleasant young son in law will become financially delinquent and a sign up for benefits which you as the financial sponsor will be on the hook for is very very very small. Not only are the educated immigrants who claim benefits a small subset, but also the chances that the government comes after you if they do benefits is also small. Thus it is overall an outcome with minuscule probability.

 

In our community that’s what we do, many many people have financially sponsored people who were not even family. That said you’re perfectly good entitled to your decision.

I second this. It's your life and your decision but I feel like for the amount of turmoil and misery that you would be putting your daughter through for something that's is extremely low risk to you would be a bit cruel. I'm not sure how far his country is or how difficult it is for them to see each other but I know for a fact if my parents had added another 2 years of visa hell onto my already miserable k1 process I would have cut them out of my life. Thankfully my parents have been nothing but supportive this whole time. I just hope you can try and understand her situation.

[Redro 4,611]

9 hours ago, crespo said:

Your only financially responsible for him if he seeks government assistance as you would have to pay the government back and last but not least your only responsible for him between a 5-7 year period after which your agreement is no longer binding 

Minimum of 3 years if he decides to go for US citizenship. 

[Quell 3]

Your daughter needs to wife up and be a WOMAN!! get a job and sacrifice and stop stressing her retired parents!! Also if you sponsor him, it doesn't mean you will be responsible for his everyday and life expenses. It's just paperwork as a guarantee.  Although it says you're responsible for 10 years. Do you think he will come to you and extort you for money every month for his living expenses? If so, kick his ### out and report him for extortion!! And your daughter too.