And speaking of jealousy....

[peezey 0]

Good god. I am not the only person posting how ridiculous this jealousy thing is. And while you are wrapped up in telling me how insulting I am via a massive post insulting me, why don't you open your eyes and your mind a bit? Someone who chooses to leave their brother's kids out of events doesn't sound all at like jealousy but very much like disapproval of their brother's choice.

Again, you have yet to list anything you or any of us have that MENA women would be jealous of. So your little stories are nothing more than that. You don't care about any of us that have lived in MENA (just like your beloved Henia) who tell you time and again there has been no jealousy and you are probably looking at things incorrectly.

And if you think the word "hyperbolic" is intellectual mumbo jumbo then there are far worse problems around here than I thought.

By the way, until someone is a citizen, they are STILL going through the immigration process. I know this is hard for some to grasp, but until one's life isn't dictated by USCIS, VJ is still a necessary place to come.

Edited August 8, 2007 by peezey

[peezey 0]

Wahrania: It is completely pointless to waste the time typing. Time and time again ... here on MENA VJ people pick and choose what they comment on; bring back age old posts; twist words and manipulate to make their point. Personally, I made a vow to read only the immigration related topics. Unforunately I did not stick to it. I guess I have to. It is not good for my imen or my morale. Thanks ya'll!

No one is bringing up "old posts." Someone revived this post and it wasn't me, it was Wahrania. Wahrania dragged your name into every post she made, and you had nothing to do with it. She was the one making outrageous generalizations about MENA women, not you. If you have objections, you should take them up with her since she insists on using you as some prime example that Algerian women are awful. You think this woman is your friend? She is blasting your business in this thread. You never posted any of the stuff she did. How you can possibly make this passive aggressive statement about me is beyond comprehension while Wahrania is blastin your private business throughout this thread, including that you were pregnant, which I don't think you ever revealed in a post here.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Wahrania: It is completely pointless to waste the time typing. Time and time again ... here on MENA VJ people pick and choose what they comment on; bring back age old posts; twist words and manipulate to make their point. Personally, I made a vow to read only the immigration related topics. Unforunately I did not stick to it. I guess I have to. It is not good for my imen or my morale. Thanks ya'll!

yep i know

[JODO 2]

I just had 3 glasses of wine

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

after reading page after page with the usual suspects creating drama, i think i need a glass too, jodo

[sarah and hicham 3]

Wahrania: It is completely pointless to waste the time typing. Time and time again ... here on MENA VJ people pick and choose what they comment on; bring back age old posts; twist words and manipulate to make their point. Personally, I made a vow to read only the immigration related topics. Unforunately I did not stick to it. I guess I have to. It is not good for my imen or my morale. Thanks ya'll!

No one is bringing up "old posts." Someone revived this post and it wasn't me, it was Wahrania. Wahrania dragged your name into every post she made, and you had nothing to do with it. She was the one making outrageous generalizations about MENA women, not you. If you have objections, you should take them up with her since she insists on using you as some prime example that Algerian women are awful. You think this woman is your friend? She is blasting your business in this thread. You never posted any of the stuff she did. How you can possibly make this passive aggressive statement about me is beyond comprehension while Wahrania is blastin your private business throughout this thread, including that you were pregnant, which I don't think you ever revealed in a post here.

Wahrania: It is completely pointless to waste the time typing. Time and time again ... here on MENA VJ people pick and choose what they comment on; bring back age old posts; twist words and manipulate to make their point. Personally, I made a vow to read only the immigration related topics. Unforunately I did not stick to it. I guess I have to. It is not good for my imen or my morale. Thanks ya'll!

yep i know

If only you really did know

[Caladan 19]

I'm still sticking with the evil eye theory. One woman in particular gave me such a dirty look I almost "felt it" if that makes sense. That's one that my husband even commented on.

Anyways I am really starting to believe in the whole evil eye dark force thing. Ever since I have been sick, ever since my husband's flat has been "possessed", etc.

Why people do this I don't know. I have to say there were just as many if not more women who did indeed smile back at me, though they tended to be the younger ones (under 50 or so).

I just downloaded a bunch of dua's to protect against evil and just saying a few of them has already put me at ease. It's really spooky when you think about all that evil stuff. His family totally believes in it and wouldn't stop talking about it just before I left for my flight. (the one I caught pneumonia on.... ).

Now before anyone jumps down my throat, I believe people in the US are just as capable of giving this evil eye. It's NOT a MENA thing for sure. Maybe I was just more aware of it over there but I'm going to make a point to smile to people tomorrow in the city and see what happens just to compare.

I have this really fuzzy childhood memory of my great-grandmother doing something with olive oil and water in a dish (or was it the bathtub?) to ward off the evil eye.

My grandmother used to say 'Satan begone! Jesus Christ is king!' during bad storms.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I can't believe someone saying Arab women are spiteful, resentful, and hateful is being touted as "eloquent."

Peezy, henia actually LIVES in Algeria and I have spent an inordinate amount of time there. She has had direct experiences that reflect her question and if you read the posts many of the other Americans have faced uncalled for maliciousness that can only be attributed to jealousy. Unlike American culture, where women can easily be single, its a heartbreaking and isolating experience for Arabs. You more than anyone should know that married to a Moroccan.If you have never faced it, then something is very wrong. Most white marriages called MARRIAGE BLANCHE do not face bouts of jealousy because there is an understanding between the people that know the arab and his family that this is for a set period time. Everyone plays the game and henna parties and all that #######. Henia is pregnant by her Algerian husband and it is a real marriage . She has faced attacks by members of her husbands family in the form of messing up her wedding.. saying nasty things etc. If the marriage is a real one, the likliness of cattiness by women both in the family and neighbors increases because the American or western woman is not just being used for papers . she is taking their man. My comment to everyone was to look for people that like you ignore the ones who do not and do not cater to them or try to appease them. Jealousy and man stealing and all this nonsense like SEHOUR and magic is very common in North Africa due to the powerless these women feel. To minimise the fact that they are very spiteful is to leave an American who marries into this very vulernable. The worst thing you can do with women like this and in the other posts is to try to mimic them and fit in. The American or western woman is much better just doing her thing... perhaps connecting with the reigion but not losing their identity in the process. This is especially important due to the high amounts of marrriage fraud within these marriages ,leaving the isolated american alone and scared ,having lost touch with her american friends ( seen this time and time again...5 years in isolation and boom... shes divorced. All I can say is NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS IN THE ARAB WORLD. But read the comments Peazy. Woman after woman posting is reporting experiences with this and the more real the marriage, the more threatened women become , ESPECIALLY IF THE MAN IS GOOD LOOKING AND DESIRABLE TO WOMEN FROM HIS FAMILY AND NEIGHBORHOOD. The bigger the loss to the local woman, the more nasty and threatening they become. I personally have only had conflicts with one cousin and the way I dealt with it was not to react even though she truly did horrific things. I am sure Henia can elaborate. Henia tell them the makeup story from the wedding. I have my own funny story with dresses and my shydda. Its real and it happens and like I told you, if the marriage is just a greencard, many will not threaten your marriage. When there is real marriage and babies involved, all kinds of things hit the fan. The threat is very real and emotionally it is very hard for the western woman AND the man...although some of the men I have seen like all the drama. GO FIGURE.

Holy Hell.

Are you mental?

[♥JP♥ 5]

I am starting to feel insulted. Is this how you make yourself feel worthy? If someone doesn't accept you clearly they must be jealous? Did it ever cross your minds that maybe they just don't like you? As Peezey said, they don't feel you are a good fit for their family member?

There is so much ####### being said here and so much ignorance I don't even know where to begin. You could be walking down the street and doing things you "think" are normal but locals may see not see it that way. Maybe you forgot to give someone a polite gesture? I highly dount that anyone in this forum including me, no matter how long you lived in another country all the cultural norms there.

I was in a restaurant once and we were paying the check. As I was waiting I put one knee on the chair. My fiance told me that was very rude, I had no idea it was rude or knew why the waitress was giving me a shocked look. So for those of you who keep pointing fingers at MENA women being jealous of you, why don't you take a look at yourself and see what needs improvement.

There is another thing. Its not that common in MENA for a woman who has kids to be accepted as a first time bride for the men in the family. So that could be another reason you are getting dirty looks.

[Quinn 2]

I am starting to feel insulted. Is this how you make yourself feel worthy? If someone doesn't accept you clearly they must be jealous? Did it ever cross your minds that maybe they just don't like you? As Peezey said, they don't feel you are a good fit for their family member?

There is so much ####### being said here and so much ignorance I don't even know where to begin. You could be walking down the street and doing things you "think" are normal but locals may see not see it that way. Maybe you forgot to give someone a polite gesture? I highly dount that anyone in this forum including me, no matter how long you lived in another country all the cultural norms there.

I was in a restaurant once and we were paying the check. As I was waiting I put one knee on the chair. My fiance told me that was very rude, I had no idea it was rude or knew why the waitress was giving me a shocked look. So for those of you who keep pointing fingers at MENA women being jealous of you, why don't you take a look at yourself and see what needs improvement.

There is another thing. Its not that common in MENA for a woman who has kids to be accepted as a first time bride for the men in the family. So that could be another reason you are getting dirty looks.

Very well put! I have to admit that the closest I've come to ME/NA is Zanzibar. I was walking around Stone Town when this young woman and her older companion came bursting down the street. The woman had a very short skirt on and a bikini top. the entire street was starring at her. Believe me, it had nothing to do with being jealous of her. It had more to do with the fact that she was walking down the street in such inappropriate clothes.

We have absolutely no idea when we go to another country if we're being inappropriate. In Thailand, you should never point at anything with your foot. My mother went around a Buddhist temple pointing out to me all the pretty flowers using her toe. This simple gesture could have a drawn many scornful looks and we might have interpreted them as jealousy...but we would have been wrong.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I am starting to feel insulted. Is this how you make yourself feel worthy? If someone doesn't accept you clearly they must be jealous? Did it ever cross your minds that maybe they just don't like you? As Peezey said, they don't feel you are a good fit for their family member?

There is so much ####### being said here and so much ignorance I don't even know where to begin. You could be walking down the street and doing things you "think" are normal but locals may see not see it that way. Maybe you forgot to give someone a polite gesture? I highly dount that anyone in this forum including me, no matter how long you lived in another country all the cultural norms there.

I was in a restaurant once and we were paying the check. As I was waiting I put one knee on the chair. My fiance told me that was very rude, I had no idea it was rude or knew why the waitress was giving me a shocked look. So for those of you who keep pointing fingers at MENA women being jealous of you, why don't you take a look at yourself and see what needs improvement.

There is another thing. Its not that common in MENA for a woman who has kids to be accepted as a first time bride for the men in the family. So that could be another reason you are getting dirty looks.

I was talking about a woman my husbands aunt who was a first time bride and is from their culture. She was treated horribly and is very happy with her husband and she with him and have kids together and had to endure over 5 years of pain and to this day suffers immensely. You are making a very good point. You are saying that marrying a woman with kids perhaps could cause cruelty and animosity towards the woman marrying with kids. You proved one of the points I made in earlier points about cultural differences. Women with no kids and first time brides can still be used for greencards. And women with kids can be loved and accepted by an individual family. No matter what you think. the points Henia made were very valid. I stand behind her posts. I personally know 2 first time brides with no kids used for papers and dumped. So I am not really understanding your assault on previously married women. Anyone can be a target. Period.

[peezey 0]

Since you seem to not understand what has happened here, W, here is is simply broken down for you:

1 - No one objected to Henia

2- YOU dragged up this old thread

3- YOU posted YOUR comments (wherein YOU blasted Henia's private information she never posted here)

4- Objections in this thread are to YOU and YOUR statements not HENIA

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

[deemabrouk 0]

hmm.. what did I miss??@@

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

hmm.. what did I miss??@@

just the usual......