K1 Horrible Ending!! Fiance arrived with kid but turns out she is already married!

[DeleteAccount 32]

I was so very excited to start this process. I was feeling like a would have a family that truly loved me. I fought for 1 and half years to bring this women and her child to the US. I sent money every month so they could eat and buy necessities. I would help this woman's child with home work over video.  I spoke 2 times a day and reassured them I would bring them to the US. I truly loved and cared for these people!!

 

After the long wait they finally arrived here in the US. I was so excited to see them and finally get to hold my family in my arms. It seemed relaxed at first until the first day of school for the child, I woke to arguing. I asked what was happening and she responded with "My daughter will soon be an alcoholic or marry one!!!" then she kept going with "I wish I had never birthed this child, she has ruined my life!!! I should have had an abortion!!!" This is were I stepped in and ask "Why would you say this where your child could hear this, that is horrible" then I asked what happened and she replied with "Her bangs are in her eye's, she looks terrible and this will hurt her eyes!!!!" That is when I realized something wasn't right.

 

So, I felt I needed to step it up and be a super dad so this child would have some kind of sanity in her life. The daughter and I were close and she could tell I was trying to be the best father that I could be. The bond we formed was wonderful!! In the mean time the K1 wife was fighting as much as she could. So, I couldn't figure out what the problem was, then I discovered that she was married to a man in Norway!!!! I was blown away!! I asked her are you still married, because if so you lied on the Visa app. I found out that she is! That is not good!!!

 

Needless to say she changed completely after she got here. I did see some red flags while she was in Ukraine, but I chalked it up to stress and living conditions. I visited Ukraine 2 times and never once did she mention her marriage in Norway. I even offered to help with the divorce from the man in Norway, but she was only in it for the green card. I found even more out that I will not mention, but it was enough for me to send her home. I am so devastated, I lost my family and child. I was planning on adopting the child!! Now all gone.

 

Please be careful, this really does happen and does not feel good. If you have any questions or are concerned with your situation, please message me and I will give any information that I can. I will not look for just the negative, I am not bitter, only sad from my loss. I can't even tell you how much money I spent!!!

[carolynhotstuff 252]

I am so sorry this happened to you. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve. I spent 10 years married to an abuser at least you got out fairly quickly. I will pray for you. 

[Chancy 6,241]

*** Moved from K1 Process & Procedures to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, where similar cautionary topics are discussed ***

 

[Timona 4,207]

You're lucky.  There was a story last week of a guy who married a woman from Ukraine. She got to US and diverted to a boyfriend's place. Basically, the guy was being used as a means to get to US

[SteveInBostonI130 3,454]

Oh wow.

 

I am sorry this happened to you.  You must going through the pain of loss right now.  Fortunately you found out before you actually married her and went down a deeper hole.

 

When I started online dating, I did some researched and read a few horror stories, the worst being one where the husband was accused and arrested for domestic violence, only to be cleared in court years later.  He lost his home and went through several years of hell.

 

I have a feeling some people fall in love with a concept - of a loving wife, a wonderful family - and subconsciously or consciously ignore warning signs.

 

When I met my better half and got engaged after the first visit, I had already met some of her family - her sister, her nephews and her mom.  While waiting for the K1 to be approved, I took 2 months off to live with her in Ukraine.  I met her father, who loves to turn up the heat in the winter and go around shirtless.  I met her long time friends - friends from college.  And I was able to see how we got along living together and how she treated her friends, family and even strangers.

 

I hope you recover soon.  It is not something that can be hurried, but your pain and feelings of loss will fade with time.

 

 

Edited September 29, 2021 by SteveInBostonI130

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

Sorry you went through such an awful experience. Hopefully the sadness/frustration fade soon and just knowledge remains.

 

I think it would be useful for others going through a similar case if you shared the different steps you followed immigration wise.

Edited September 29, 2021 by Allaboutwaiting

[gregcrs2 1,778]

Sorry to hear this happened.  This is obviously a very hard learned lesson.  Next time spend a lot of time with your significant other.  Spend lots of time with her, her family, and her friends.  You really need to spend a lot of time getting to know each other.  Easy to say but hard to do....forget about her and her child, and move on in life.

[Daisy.Chain 317]

Sorry you're going through this

 

You can't "send her home" - she's not a package! - but you can offer plane tickets and/or send documentation of her marriage to USCIS and let them deal with it. Material misrepresentation will NOT be good for her legal status. I'm not sure what affect this would have on the status of her daughter.

[TBoneTX 45,298]

Strength and blessings to you.

[Nasirlahore 28]

6 hours ago, Daisy.Chain said:

Sorry you're going through this

 

You can't "send her home" - she's not a package! - but you can offer plane tickets and/or send documentation of her marriage to USCIS and let them deal with it. Material misrepresentation will NOT be good for her legal status. I'm not sure what affect this would have on the status of her daughter.

You can send her home, since she lied  on her k1 visa  application that both of you not married at the time of filling.i think its a felony .she could be barred  for rest of her life for applying  🇺🇸 visa.

 

[Mike E 11,739]

7 hours ago, Daisy.Chain said:

Sorry you're going through this

 

You can't "send her home" - she's not a package! - but you can offer plane tickets and/or send documentation of her marriage to USCIS and let them deal with it. Material misrepresentation will NOT be good for her legal status. I'm not sure what affect this would have on the status of her daughter.

The requirement of the K-1 visa is that the holder marry within 90 days of POE.  The holder is married to someone else.  The holder cannot meet the requirements of the visa. A visa that the holder wasn’t eligible to get in the first place. 

[African Zealot 1,455]

14 hours ago, SteveInBostonI130 said:

I have a feeling some people fall in love with a concept - of a loving wife, a wonderful family - and subconsciously or consciously ignore warning signs.

I think your post is very presumptuous. In your case you could just have been lucky. You have no idea the lengths some (not all) foreigners will go to in order to fool and hook the American for the green card.
 

You can go and live with them for six months and meet their parents and all their friends and it means diddlysquat because they’re all in league. I know because I’ve seen it happen more than once among people I know. 

 

Foreigners can be played like a fiddle and have no idea what hit them in the end. Aside from all your caution, you need a good dose of good fortune to meet a genuine partner especially long distance. You don’t entirely control the outcome.

Edited September 30, 2021 by African Zealot

[African Zealot 1,455]

8 hours ago, Daisy.Chain said:

Sorry you're going through this

 

You can't "send her home" - she's not a package! - but you can offer plane tickets and/or send documentation of her marriage to USCIS and let them deal with it. Material misrepresentation will NOT be good for her legal status. I'm not sure what affect this would have on the status of her daughter.

You’re asserting things you don’t have correct information on. 

[PrinceChisom 39]

8 hours ago, Daisy.Chain said:

Sorry you're going through this

 

You can't "send her home" - she's not a package! - but you can offer plane tickets and/or send documentation of her marriage to USCIS and let them deal with it. Material misrepresentation will NOT be good for her legal status. I'm not sure what affect this would have on the status of her daughter.

She lied so YES he can even waybilll her home. 

[SteveInBostonI130 3,454]

13 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

I think your post is very presumptuous. In your case you could just have been lucky. You have no idea the lengths some (not all) foreigners will go to in order to fool and hook the American for the green card.
 

You can go and live with them for six months and meet their parents and all their friends and it means diddlysquat because they’re all in league. I know because I’ve seen it happen more than once among people I know. 

 

Foreigners can be played like a fiddle and have no idea what hit them in the end. Aside from all your caution, you need a good dose of good fortune to meet a genuine partner especially long distance. You don’t entirely control the outcome.

Oh, I am lucky.  My better half is a treasure.

 

Presumptuous is an odd word for you to use. I just gave an example of what worked for me.  It actually is presumptuous for you to comment on something you have no idea - my life and experiences.  I did not mention the other relationships I passed on, especially the early ones after a devastating breakup.  In each I didn't let my desires override my senses.  The luck was in finding the one in a million person who was match for me, not in somehow not getting deceived. 

 

There are always warning signs, even in something that you described which seems like a script from a convoluted con man movie.  

 

There are several message boards for relationships, in particular about dating someone from the former soviet union (FSU).  There are many train wreck stories there, and in every single one the poster described things that are clear red flags early on in their relationship.  Most even admitted to noticing it -- "yeah I noticed X or felt X, But.."  The vast majority of scams work because the victim is open to it - either by naivety, stubbornness or plain wish for a fairy tale ending.  Many think to themselves "this is too good to be true", because, usually, it is.

 

I am not saying there cannot be a situation where the girlfriend/spouse is perfect in their deception along with a host of characters giving oscar worthy performances.  It's just not very likely.

 

I am sorry, but if you spend 6 month living with someone and are still fooled to something as blatant as a greencard scheme, then please go to an opthalmologist and get those rose colored glasses removed.  Or at least, learn from it and be more cautious/observant/realist the next time.