Homesickness, when did it get better for you?

[YecaCruz 379]

that stinks that you feel like that. I imagine finding yourself in small-town Texas is way different. Imagine my husband: a city-boy latino from a city of 2.4 million people comes to a primarily German-heritage, farming state. City boy marries a farm girl. So many differences on so many levels lol! We were buried under 2 feet of snow for his first Christmas in ND which he loved, by the way, and was his first time experiencing snow. He's next to me as I type this.

 

I want to encourage you to remember that your spouse (and kids if you have any) should be your first, priority family...if that makes sense. That's a big step we all take when we marry someone is that we leave our parents/family in order to build up our own. It's what our parents raised us for...to go out and conquer life! Don't allow the constant "what I left behind" to eat away at the foundation and future for the family you arenow establishing with your spouse. Think about what you have now! You are with the love of your life! An entire continent isn't between you anymore! 

 

So really just take it day by and day. The stress of adapting to not just to "Texas" culture, in your case, but creating your own "family" culture is a cost of the life we chose to jump into when we said "I do". It's an adventure for sure. Give yourself time; you'll have Tx friends and family eventually. Is there a local group that piques your interest (boardgames, puzzles, nerdy-things like DnD, exercise)?

 

Don't keep this bottled up from your spouse either. Communicate what you're going through so he can help you!

[.yana 598]

23 hours ago, ashley_ann said:

Yes Canada is similar but... there is still enough differences especially in this small texan town I'm in... its incredibly lonely. 

I seem to be watching everything I say so I don't rub people the wrong way as I have almost complete opposite views of everyone here. I won't get into

the details but lets just say small conservative town....so I just keep quiet...

and well... I'm extremely lonely and miss my family... 

So sorry you're going through this and feeling this way...

 

Reality is - you may never get used to the specific town / people around you as Texas is a pretty unique place.

You might not be homesick but just not in a right place for you. Moving to another state or even just a different town / city might solve that.

[MarkCarp 5]

And for all the homesick users, I have a message : it is normal to feel like that! Some of you will go home, some will learn how to live with this sorrow !

 

Edited September 25, 2021 by MarkCarp

[Letspaintcookies 2,310]

Oh honey I'm so sorry that the homesickness hit you so hard. And I'm super mad about that person telling you that nonsense. Unfortunately a lot of people think like that. We all got saved from our horrible lives in those foreign countries 😉😁

I'm kinda lucky that I married into the military community. Everyone is away from home and understands. On the other hand my personal views often differ pretty much from others so yea, I know what you mean with biting your tongue. At least nobody tries to recruit me for Bible studies 🙈

 

In the end you have to stay true to yourself. Compromising is good and needed but not to a point that you have to change completely. I'm crossing my fingers that you'll get through it and that it will get better 🤗

[Ban Hammer 13,469]

multiple posts removed for bickering and off topic discussion.

post constructively or do not post.

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charles

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[Ban Hammer 13,469]

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[TBoneTX 45,831]

On 9/23/2021 at 7:58 PM, ashley_ann said:

Canada is similar but... [...] its incredibly lonely

The good news is that you're just a 2-hour drive from Canadian, Texas.   

And you have the beautiful Canadian River very close there.  

On 9/23/2021 at 7:58 PM, ashley_ann said:

I have almost complete opposite views of everyone here [...] small conservative town

The equally good news is that you're just a 2-hour drive* from Liberal, Kansas.  

    *Do not (do NOT) exceed the speed limit by even 0.00005 mph in or around Guymon, Okla.

On 9/23/2021 at 7:58 PM, ashley_ann said:

small texan town

The good news is that it was named after the esteemed Alexander Dumas.   

The bad news is that Panhandle Texans are really Yankees.  You'll need to deal with this somehow.

[ashley_ann 179]

11 hours ago, .yana said:

So sorry you're going through this and feeling this way...

 

Reality is - you may never get used to the specific town / people around you as Texas is a pretty unique place.

You might not be homesick but just not in a right place for you. Moving to another state or even just a different town / city might solve that.

Thank you ❤️‍🩹 

 

it is a unique place and there is so much I like about it but there is other parts I don’t. 
 

I know my husband and I have talked about moving to another place somewhere a little bigger eventually but that is definitely far off. I don’t know if another state would work with his teaching degree but I’m at least hopeful for another city

[ashley_ann 179]

11 hours ago, Letspaintcookies said:

Oh honey I'm so sorry that the homesickness hit you so hard. And I'm super mad about that person telling you that nonsense. Unfortunately a lot of people think like that. We all got saved from our horrible lives in those foreign countries 😉😁

I'm kinda lucky that I married into the military community. Everyone is away from home and understands. On the other hand my personal views often differ pretty much from others so yea, I know what you mean with biting your tongue. At least nobody tries to recruit me for Bible studies 🙈

 

In the end you have to stay true to yourself. Compromising is good and needed but not to a point that you have to change completely. I'm crossing my fingers that you'll get through it and that it will get better 🤗

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. ❤️‍🩹🙂

 

it’s definitely a rollercoaster! 

[Mike E 11,742]

On 9/23/2021 at 5:58 PM, ashley_ann said:

I've been struggling a solid 3 months now. I've been in the USA since January and I really miss my home. I really miss my family. I can't seem them still just because of everything going on (like so many others).

When did the homesickness get better for you?

Sorry you are feeling bad.  
 

I left Canada 41 years ago, and haven’t missed it a bit.  It’s a great place to visit but after a 3 years in the USA, I had no desire to live in Canada again.  
 

 Canada does a few things better than the USA but overall the USA is better.  And I hate snow and ice (unless chilling a cocktail).  
 

Give it time.   
 

[chancecody 125]

20 hours ago, Mike E said:

Sorry you are feeling bad.  
 

I left Canada 41 years ago, and haven’t missed it a bit.  It’s a great place to visit but after a 3 years in the USA, I had no desire to live in Canada again.  
 

 Canada does a few things better than the USA but overall the USA is better.  And I hate snow and ice (unless chilling a cocktail).  
 

Give it time.   
 

As someone mentioned in this thread, “there is no place like home”. Telling OP how you hate snow and had no desire to live in her country after leaving Canada in 1980 (the OP may not be even born in 1980) is not helpful IMHO 😂. OP is asking for advice or strategies on how to get over homesickness.

 

OP- I hope things are better for you now! It may be the town/area that is making you homesick as it is fundamentally different from where you grew up. I would feel the same way as you for example if I were to live in small town Alberta if I grew up in Vancouver, Montreal or Toronto just to put it in Canadian context 😁.

 

Honestly for me, I believe it is the place that will make it or break it. I live in Reno which has very nice people, lots of outdoor activities and beautiful scenery. It is also very close to California, Lake Tahoe and a day trip to San Francisco. I can relate to the people here so it feels just like living in Canada. 

 

If moving is not an option, I suggest to at least try your best to fit in. No offence to NFL fans, I hate football and that’s all  they talk about in January/February but I make an effort to watch and learn it so that I can join the conversations. Also, I use Zoom a lot to call face-to-face with family and friends. 

 

 

Edited October 11, 2021 by chancecody

[Mike E 11,742]

11 hours ago, chancecody said:

As someone mentioned in this thread, “there is no place like home”. Telling OP how you hate snow and had no desire to live in her country after leaving Canada in 1980 (the OP may not be even born in 1980) is not helpful IMHO 😂. OP is asking for advice or strategies on how to get over homesickness.

 

OP- I hope things are better for you now! It may be the town/area that is making you homesick as it is fundamentally different from where you grew up. I would feel the same way as you for example if I were to live in small town Alberta if I grew up in Vancouver, Montreal or Toronto just to put it in Canadian context 😁.

 

Honestly for me, I believe it is the place that will make it or break it. I live in Reno which has very nice people, lots of outdoor activities and beautiful scenery. It is also very close to California, Lake Tahoe and a day trip to San Francisco. I can relate to the people here so it feels just like living in Canada. 

 

If moving is not an option, I suggest to at least try your best to fit in. No offence to NFL fans, I hate football and that’s all  they talk about in January/February but I make an effort to watch and learn it so that I can join the conversations. Also, I use Zoom a lot to call face-to-face with family and friends. 

 

 

Great post!

[Caboose29 173]

I've been through Dumas before on my way to and from family in Colorado and Wyoming.  It is indeed a small town.  Maybe the two of you could consider relocating to a larger city and stay within the state?  Based on what I've read here, that you, and possibly your husband might be happier in a bigger city.  Maybe Amarillo is even big enough, and still be close?  I know the DFW area is very culturally and ethnically diverse.  There's TONS of stuff to do.  Perhaps you could visit Dumas on holidays?  If not Dallas, maybe Abilene, Austin, or Houston?  Just an idea.