Long distance relationship jealousy

[slbois 0]

Just wondering if anyone has experienced this type of jealousy from their significant other, created perhaps out of the frustration from being separated during the visa process? Not talking crazy stalker jealousy, just little things.

[a1angied 0]

I was the one jealous , and yes the distance and time apart does things to the mind. Let me say that I was jealous of him spending tiem with his friends family and not me. Not from women.

[doodlebug 3]

Only a little and not often. For example, the other night my kids were with their dad and I went to the movies with a friend. I told my husband via the webcam and he asked very seriously if I was going with a guy or a girl. I looked shocked at him and told him, "why I'm going with my lover of course.......if you can't be with the one you love love the one you live!!".

lol. He doesn't ask that stuff that much but truth be told he knows I'm always home with the kids so he has no reason to ask.

[sara535 15]

absolutely.

[KaiserD 12]

I've always had self esteem issues so I'm naturally kind of possessive...always working to improve it of course! But he knows sometimes I can get a bit much, he has been nothing less than perfect though in that respect

I hoped that by moving to the US that kind of insecurity/jealousy would disapear but in some ways it is worse, just further proof that one has to heal themselves, a partner/husband cannot do it for you!

Some jealousy is a little natural, long times away puts a strain on anyone...over five years together but apart, some days were very very hard as you all well know!

[slbois 0]

I used to be the jealous one in the relationship, now he has taken on the role. I recall one episode of me finding old pics in a drawer of his former girlfriend who happened to be stunningly beautiful and the drama that ensued of me ripping up photos and crying like an idiot. He has vowed to seek revenge on me when he gets here to the States, needless to say I have a to-do list with clearing out old photos and love letters of my ex as a priority.

I'm just too darn tired to be jealous anymore. I am so preoccupied with work and with the Visa that I don't have the time or energy to think about anything else.

[reeses16 8]

I think most people experience a little bit of that. Or just relationship stress in general. I was the one who was stressed at times. Usually it coincided with my period (we're all grown! lol.) I hate to admitt it but it was true. Once I realized that, I'd always check my calendar and then chill out.

[Clarky and Tarah 0]

Before my fiance and I met in person I was VERY jealous. After we met and spent alot of time together, though, I became very trusting. I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I do get a little peeved that he never gets jealous.

[doodlebug 3]

I think my husband tried to get me jealous once. We were talking and he told me that a few women in his neighborhood are mad that he married me. He went on for a few minutes telling me how they liked him, etc. so being sick of hearing it I finally just said, "well if you really want them you are free to marry them and that will save me airfare and some visa headaches...just let me know, k?"

lol he was shocked and quickly backtracked like no no no you donnot get what I am saying, but I was all "seriously....if you are talking about them you must want them so Im' just makin' it easy on you telling you you're free to go"

I'm sorry I don't have the time for jealousy. I was burnt bigtime in my last marriage and if they're that into someone else they can have them. I'll just be a happy little cat lady.

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

I think my husband tried to get me jealous once. We were talking and he told me that a few women in his neighborhood are mad that he married me. He went on for a few minutes telling me how they liked him, etc. so being sick of hearing it I finally just said, "well if you really want them you are free to marry them and that will save me airfare and some visa headaches...just let me know, k?"

lol he was shocked and quickly backtracked like no no no you donnot get what I am saying, but I was all "seriously....if you are talking about them you must want them so Im' just makin' it easy on you telling you you're free to go"

How odd.

[doodlebug 3]

I think my husband tried to get me jealous once. We were talking and he told me that a few women in his neighborhood are mad that he married me. He went on for a few minutes telling me how they liked him, etc. so being sick of hearing it I finally just said, "well if you really want them you are free to marry them and that will save me airfare and some visa headaches...just let me know, k?"

lol he was shocked and quickly backtracked like no no no you donnot get what I am saying, but I was all "seriously....if you are talking about them you must want them so Im' just makin' it easy on you telling you you're free to go"

How odd.

Not odd at all. I have survived a very hurtful divorce where my husband left me for another woman. I spent a good year full of jealousy and sorry pining over the man. I finally got strong enough and with two kids under the age of 2 pulled myself up by the bootstraps and built my life over. So, call it odd if you will but I just don't see the point in the energy of being jealous. If he's seriously into someone else, why bother fighting it, since neither of you will be happy in the end. I don't need a man to fulfill my life. Sure he enhances it but I won't die if he leaves, so why burn up energy on worrying if he's gonna?

[monnik 0]

Not odd at all. I have survived a very hurtful divorce where my husband left me for another woman. I spent a good year full of jealousy and sorry pining over the man. I finally got strong enough and with two kids under the age of 2 pulled myself up by the bootstraps and built my life over. So, call it odd if you will but I just don't see the point in the energy of being jealous. If he's seriously into someone else, why bother fighting it, since neither of you will be happy in the end. I don't need a man to fulfill my life. Sure he enhances it but I won't die if he leaves, so why burn up energy on worrying if he's gonna?

I think the same way. I had almost the same experience (except for the kids part).

My husband used to see this as me not caring about him. Some people think that if you are not jealous, it means that you don't care. But that's not true in my case. I care. But, I learned that if he wants to be with someone else, he's already left the relationship (in his mind, at the very least) and that means I will just be wasting my time.

In the past, I didn't get jealous until I had a reason to feel that way. And, now, even if I have a reason to be jealous, I won't let it consume me. I don't like being lied to. But, I am not going to spend another 3 1/2 years (like last time) trying to figure out if I am the only one in his life. It's too draining and it makes you miserable.

[rika60607 215]

I think my husband tried to get me jealous once. We were talking and he told me that a few women in his neighborhood are mad that he married me. He went on for a few minutes telling me how they liked him, etc. so being sick of hearing it I finally just said, "well if you really want them you are free to marry them and that will save me airfare and some visa headaches...just let me know, k?"

lol he was shocked and quickly backtracked like no no no you donnot get what I am saying, but I was all "seriously....if you are talking about them you must want them so Im' just makin' it easy on you telling you you're free to go"

I'm sorry I don't have the time for jealousy. I was burnt bigtime in my last marriage and if they're that into someone else they can have them. I'll just be a happy little cat lady.

Right there with you!

:yes:

Rika

[MelindaandTarek 0]

I think that the distance and separation can get the better of you if you let it. I found that my SO and I are both trying to get through this journey the best we know how and we both surround ourselves with supportive family/friends...and I also agree w/others postings regarding being consumed with jeolousy...I have never been a jeolous person...I know this distance/process is a challenge and I hope all awaiting and those that have been separated from their loved ones far longer than I are reunited soon....

[patiently_waiting 0]

Completely agree with Doodle...you are free to go. Save me the time, the energy and the heartache in the future. There was jealousy on both sides. He would say that if things didn't work out betwee me and him that he would just marry a Moroccan girl. My attitude about was, hey, go ahead, it will save us both a lot if that it what you want. It was not a card that I was willing to let him ue as a trump card over me. Been through that same hurtful divorce like Doodle, so I would rather he move on before we he was here, we were married and having a life that would be destroyed. Maybe you just have to have been there to understand that.