I751 divorce help - please!

[todd412 0]

Hey Casboyle!

Hows it go then?????

Waiting with baited breath

t

[anyone4tea 1]

Todd,

Either file before you start divorce proceedings, or after you have received the decree absolute. If you wish to stay here (and I realize you are in a position to return to the UK if you so wish), filing to remove conditions during a divorce can put you in jeopardy of going into deportation proceedings. That can occur if an immigration judge does NOT grant you an extension.

I looked into this, the USCIS confirmed it.

I hope you won't mind my adding a quick note about your marriage: you married a) for love and B) for life. Good times and bad. This is a bad time, but it's not going to last forever. The promise you made was to stick with her, no matter what.

In order to save your marriage you have to work together with your wife to make it better and acceptable for both of you. Both sides need to concede at varying times to make it work; whether she makes some kind of concession in this situation, or you do.

Don't cheapen your marriage by bailing out. A marriage is a promise, a devotion, a dedication and a commitment. The vows aren't empty, and they don't have conditions attached to them.

Go and find this guy a replacement nurse to change his bandages, then spend some time with your wife away from the situation. If she was a fruitcake my advice would be to take her to a shrink to get her stabilized. If you were a fruitcake I'd advise the same. If all else failed and the situation was untenable, then think about separating.

Your marriage was entered into in good faith... it ought to e continued in good faith. To fail over a situation that you don't understand or don't agree on, which isn't necessarily constituting abuse to you, is bad for both of you. You cannot leave a marriage over something this trivial.

She doesn't understand your position on this. Trust me when I say this, but try marital counseling. You may be surprised by the results. It has worked wonders for myself and my husband... who were on the verge of splitting, but for far greater reasons than yours.

Good luck, Scott,

A Fellow Brit - Lucy

[ChristinaM 0]

Your marriage was entered into in good faith... it ought to e continued in good faith. To fail over a situation that you don't understand or don't agree on, which isn't necessarily constituting abuse to you, is bad for both of you. You cannot leave a marriage over something this trivial.

I don't consider this trivial, and to be honest I don't think it's your right to tell him that he can't either. As for saying your reasons for splitting were "far greater than his", that's a judgment call you cannot make.

If he wishes to leave his marriage then that is his decision. He asked for advice on how to do it, not a lecture on the sanctity of marriage.

Another Brit - Christina.

[chuckandkim 0]

Todd,

I don't know what to say... Good luck man!

to folks who gave marriage advice... don't point your fingers at him... god forbids one day this could happen to us... just pray for him and keep trying guys...

Love

chuck and kim

[warlord 73]

If and what you say is true about this entire situation, it does seem the wedding and marriage was in fact done for the correct reasons and wasn't for immigration intent only.

Now with that, I'm just curious if in fact the marriage was in good faith why would you ask even out of curiosity

"And purely out of interest, what happens if I re-marry before the expiration of the conditional card" for? I would think people would need time to reflect on their marriage and then take their time before jumping into the next relationship let alone getting married (remember your conditional GC ends in about a year and a bit). I would figure anyways that if you did get divorced, then I'm not sure what the status would be since you have a lot of time before your conditions expire. You would probably lose all status and have to leave. Now if this was closer to the date you remove your conditions, then maybe you would have some leeway. Either way, getting divorced from one, and then re-marrying the next in a short time frame, INS will surely take that into consideration and raise possible Fraud attempt for immigration only, and then deny you everything...

[todd412 0]

Hey everyone,

Thanks again to everyone that replied.

even the negative comments are helpful as it gives me some ideas as to how USCIS might think.

Since my last post "Grandad" has passed away (and no i didnt push him down a set of stairs!) We have decided to go through some counselling and see what happens. I hope it works out but if it doesnt then we will go our seperate ways and see what happens with a good faith I-751 waiver.

If they approve it, great! - if not ill go back home.

I know this might sound like a crazy question to some, but when grandad died he left a $700,000 house to both of us, along with a sizeable lump sum. IF we do decide to spilt im of the opinion that she can just have everything as given the circumstances i really want nothing other than out. IF we do in fact split, would me just giving her everything count against me with USCIS???? (i dont want them looking at it like a payoff!)

In the mean time Ive just started as a Police Officer so maybe that will count for me when they take the waiver into consideration.

Warlord, i understand your comments about the 2nd marriage - but when i said that my question was purely out of interest, it was exactly that - out of interest!. There is no other woman and after this debacable im not too sure if ill be getting married again anytime soon (if ever!)

Thanks again,

Todd

Edited March 12, 2006 by todd412

[warlord 73]

Well that's the thing, it's the INS you have to convince you are here legit and getting a second marriage would I'm sure raise a bunch of flags on your status. Anyways things seem to have settled down a bit now, so maybe the councilling will help and you won't have to worry about any of this down the road...