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rojasma

Cheating before filing AOS

By rojasma in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

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rojasma Rookie

rojasma   8

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Dominican Republic
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So long story short. 2 days before I was to file my husband's AOS I find messages sexting  some lady. (Not the first time) but the most hurtful messages was to a family member saying he doesn't know why he came here, that he is ready to leave and is only waiting for his papers. So after confronting him with this he left my house , I do not plan on filing an AOD and in the process of starting a divorce.. my understanding is if I didn't filed the aos, he would have to leave the country.  Any one knows what I need to do to confirm this 

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Timona Experienced

Timona   4,207

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File for divorce . Move on.

You can keep evidence of him telling his family that he is only here for papers and use them incase he tries to make you look like the black pot.

Stay away from him lest he tries the VAWA route. 

Do not be with him alone. 

 

Immigration journey is not: fast, for the faint at heart, easy, cheap, for the impatient nor right away. If more than 50% of this applies to you, best get off the bus.

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Pinkrlion Mentor

Pinkrlion   2,716

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Just report it to USCIS that you are divorcing and not filing AOS.  Provide them with the evidence.  Once you divorce, he is not your responsibility.  

Edited by Pinkrlion

Phase I - IV - Completed the Immigration Journey 

 

 

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Adventine Proficient

Adventine   3,196

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Philippines
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Get a good divorce lawyer, change your house locks, secure your bank accounts, document everything you can about the infidelity and/or immigration fraud. Do not interact with your husband alone. Always have a witness present and document all interactions with him.

 

Wishing you peace and healing going forward.

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Ontarkie Grand Master

Ontarkie   14,221

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from AOS FAmily K1/K3 - as similar threads are discussed here.~~

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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Crazy Cat Grand Master

Crazy Cat   41,845

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Taiwan
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34 minutes ago, rojasma said:

So long story short. 2 days before I was to file my husband's AOS I find messages sexting  some lady. (Not the first time) but the most hurtful messages was to a family member saying he doesn't know why he came here, that he is ready to leave and is only waiting for his papers. So after confronting him with this he left my house , I do not plan on filing an AOD and in the process of starting a divorce.. my understanding is if I didn't filed the aos, he would have to leave the country.  Any one knows what I need to do to confirm this 

1.  Protect yourself physically and legally through a divorce attorney.

2.  Move on, and seek happiness for yourself.

3.  Let him handle his own immigration matters.

I hope you find peace.

"The US immigration process requires a great deal of knowledge, planning, time, patience, and a significant amount of money.  It is quite a journey!"

- Some old child of the 50's & 60's on his laptop 

 

Senior Master Sergeant, US Air Force- Retired (after 20+ years)- Missile Systems Maintenance & Titan 2 ICBM Launch Crew Duty (200+ Alert tours)

Registered Nurse- Retired- I practiced in the areas of Labor & Delivery, Home Health, Adolescent Psych, & Adult Psych.

IT Professional- Retired- Web Site Design, Hardware Maintenance, Compound Pharmacy Software Trainer, On-site go live support, Database Manager, App Designer.

______________________________________

In summary, it took 13 months for approval of the CR-1.  It took 44 months for approval of the I-751.  It took 4 months for approval of the N-400.   It took 172 days from N-400 application to Oath Ceremony.   It took 6 weeks for Passport, then 7 additional weeks for return of wife's Naturalization Certificate.. 
 

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rojasma Rookie

rojasma   8

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Dominican Republic
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Thank you guys I am currently talking to a divorce  lawyer and he has all the conversations  and says I have enough evidence for a divorce.    He has not gotten in contact me just 1 text with his new number in case I needed  him. Please.. he doesn't even have a ss# as he came during covid closing. Was going to apply for one with the AOS. Filing for a quick divorce to get this over with. 

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.yana Community Regular

.yana   597

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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So sorry that happened to you! But at least you found out now, before anything was filed and before you had children with him.

Timeline:

Spoiler

AOS Journey:

Spoiler

 

08/19/2016 - day 0 - I-485, I-130, I-765 sent to USCIS office in Chicago (PD: 08/23/2016)

08/31/2016 - day 9 - electronic NOAs received via text and email, check is cashed.

09/08/2016 - day 17 - biometrics appointment notice received in the mail (appointment date 09/19/2016).

09/13/2016 - day 22 - early biometrics walk in.

10/28/2016 - day 67 - EAD status changed to "New Card Is Being Produced".

11/16/2016 - day 87 - EAD card received in mail.

06/27/2017 - day 309 - contacted the congressman office.

07/28/2017 - day 340 - finally received an interview appointment in mail (online status has not changed).

08/31/2017 - day 374 - Interview; I-485 status changed to 'New Card Is Being Produced'

09/08/2017 - day 382 - greencard received in mail

I-751 & N400 Journey:

Spoiler

06/20/2019 - day 1036 - ROC packet mailed (PD: 06/21/2019)

06/29/2019 - day 1045 - NOA/Extension letter received in the mail (new GC expiration date is 2/28/2021)

01/17/2020 - day 1256 - biometrics appointment

06/03/2020 - day 1382 - N400 filed online (PD: 06/04/2020)

02/01/2021 - day 1626 - Biometric Reuse notice uploaded to my online account

02/08/2021 - day 1634 - Interview Appointment notice uploaded to my online account

03/16/2021 - day 1670 - N400 Interview - passed; due to I-751 stuck in another office 'No decision can be made at this time'

06/01/2021 - day 1747 - with help of Sen. Sanders' office, I-751 file finally forwarded to St. Albans field office

06/28/2021 - day 1774 - I-751 status changed to 'New Card is Being Produced'; N400 status changed to 'Oath Ceremony Will Be Scheduled'

08/19/2021 - day 1826 (exactly 5 years since day 0) - Oath Ceremony (notice received on 7/19/21)

 

 

 

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Ontarkie Grand Master

Ontarkie   14,221

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

His options are go home (which he probably won't do),

File for VAWA (so stay far away from him),

Sweet talk his way back to you once he realizes he messed up and can only adjust with your help or VAWA.  As you mentioned this was not the first time you caught him in this situation it seems he can talk you into forgiving him. If he does try to smooth talk you be prepared that it is most likely more lies until he gets his card.

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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Crazy Cat Grand Master

Crazy Cat   41,845

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Taiwan
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20 minutes ago, rojasma said:

Thank you guys I am currently talking to a divorce  lawyer and he has all the conversations  and says I have enough evidence for a divorce.    He has not gotten in contact me just 1 text with his new number in case I needed  him. Please.. he doesn't even have a ss# as he came during covid closing. Was going to apply for one with the AOS. Filing for a quick divorce to get this over with. 

Better, for you,  that this was discovered before filing for Adjustment of Status.   Good luck.  I hope you find happiness soon.  Prepare for a VAWA claim against you.  I would avoid all face-to-face contact with him.  

"The US immigration process requires a great deal of knowledge, planning, time, patience, and a significant amount of money.  It is quite a journey!"

- Some old child of the 50's & 60's on his laptop 

 

Senior Master Sergeant, US Air Force- Retired (after 20+ years)- Missile Systems Maintenance & Titan 2 ICBM Launch Crew Duty (200+ Alert tours)

Registered Nurse- Retired- I practiced in the areas of Labor & Delivery, Home Health, Adolescent Psych, & Adult Psych.

IT Professional- Retired- Web Site Design, Hardware Maintenance, Compound Pharmacy Software Trainer, On-site go live support, Database Manager, App Designer.

______________________________________

In summary, it took 13 months for approval of the CR-1.  It took 44 months for approval of the I-751.  It took 4 months for approval of the N-400.   It took 172 days from N-400 application to Oath Ceremony.   It took 6 weeks for Passport, then 7 additional weeks for return of wife's Naturalization Certificate.. 
 

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rojasma Rookie

rojasma   8

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Dominican Republic
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Just now, Ontarkie said:

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

His options are go home (which he probably won't do),

File for VAWA (so stay far away from him),

Sweet talk his way back to you once he realizes he messed up and can only adjust with your help or VAWA.  As you mentioned this was not the first time you caught him in this situation it seems he can talk you into forgiving him. If he does try to smooth talk you be prepared that it is most likely more lies until he gets his card.

He deletes his messages,  the first time were simple messages and when I brought it up with family they said it was a  family friend. But it's the same lady and this time I caught it the same day he sent the messages.  And they were very sexual messages.. no sweet talking will work on me. 

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Ontarkie Grand Master

Ontarkie   14,221

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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6 minutes ago, rojasma said:

He deletes his messages,  the first time were simple messages and when I brought it up with family they said it was a  family friend. But it's the same lady and this time I caught it the same day he sent the messages.  And they were very sexual messages.. no sweet talking will work on me. 

I'm glad he got caught. Good for you for standing up for yourself. You deserve so much better. 

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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SalishSea Grand Master

SalishSea   17,827

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: New Zealand
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1 hour ago, rojasma said:

Thank you guys I am currently talking to a divorce  lawyer and he has all the conversations  and says I have enough evidence for a divorce.    He has not gotten in contact me just 1 text with his new number in case I needed  him. Please.. he doesn't even have a ss# as he came during covid closing. Was going to apply for one with the AOS. Filing for a quick divorce to get this over with. 

He has no way to adjust status without you, so he will need to leave the country or risk an overstay.  Best of luck.

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mushroomspore Proficient

mushroomspore   3,044

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1 hour ago, rojasma said:

He deletes his messages,  the first time were simple messages and when I brought it up with family they said it was a  family friend. But it's the same lady and this time I caught it the same day he sent the messages.  And they were very sexual messages.. no sweet talking will work on me. 

Wow I'm so sorry you're going through this. As others have said, do not be alone with him. If he tries to contact you or communicate with you, do not let him. If you HAVE to say something to him, only say this 1 thing: "You will hear from my lawyer." That's it. Don't say anything else. If he escalates the conflict in any way, make sure to always have a friend with you and get a restraining order (if necessary).

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portorusa Rising Star

portorusa   431

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: France
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2 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

Sweet talk his way back to you once he realizes he messed up and can only adjust with your help or VAWA.  

What about his filing I-751 with Divorce Waiver? Can't he do that?

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