An Introduction an Seeking Future Guidance

[Talako 789]

The Philippines is what the Philippines is.  Applying logic or analyzing the illogic is, in my opinion, is a waste of time and energy.  I would suggest to do what RO_AH has advised, and that is to focus on what can be done, the options available, and/or alternatives.

 

Or, I guess one could moan about the Philippines for the next two years until it opens up.  (That is my logical illogical guestimate which is subject change constantly and wildly like a Philippine government rule.)

[Adventine 3,210]

I agree, there seems to be an assumption from OP that only one short visit is needed AND it has to be in the Philippines.

 

For something as important as building a relationship with a future spouse, it's best to have multiple visits, for as long a time as you can possibly manage. Those visits can be in any country that they can easily travel to.

 

Although some have married after only one in person meeting, and have built successful marriages, it's not a prudent idea for many.

 

Also: hope is not a plan. Stop wasting time on hope and use the energy to make concrete plans to meet in person.

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Adventine

[Lemonslice 4,963]

22 hours ago, smore said:

Yes she is currently working as OFW and will finish that contract in 4-5 months (it had to be extended due to not being able to get home because of covid). While she is OFW I cannot go and meet her, she would not be able to take the time off work to be able to spend time with me, she barely has time at the end of the day to do anything, pretty harsh long hours, but that is what she has to do to keep the job, and most OFW sound like its the same. We were hoping that in 4-5 months things will be different around the world and in the Philippines (none of us know what it will be like than or what restrictions will be or not be).

So you said "Philippines everything becomes about 50 times more difficult than meeting just about anyplace else" why is that, I mean before covid I think it was not an issue at all correct? but are you saying its more difficult due to covid and the Philippines lagging behind on vaccinations, and lifting restrictions. One would THINK that they at some point have to lift restrictions, I know I keep commenting about that but I mean come on they have to start getting with the program here if the country and people are to survive, its already been a long time of shutdowns and restrictions and loss of economic income for the country and people as I believe tourism is huge in the Philippines.

It sounds like other countries are not like the Philippines is being? sounds like its easier to meet elsewhere as other countries have started to lift restrictions and allow travel and travelers? I am not sure of her ability to travel elsewhere first before going home to the Philippines? I have thought about if these Philippines restrictions are still in place in 4-5 months than I will have to have a conversation with her about meeting her where she is OFW (which is Hong Kong) and meeting at the end of her contract before she goes home? But its not ideal as she wants me to meet her family, plus I do not even know currently what the Hong Kong restrictions are for travel, and what they will be than.

What a mess this has been. Seems Philippines is really a difficult place right now to get into or out of and prior to covid it was no issue at all and people were able to meet and proceed with there relationship.

The pandemic will not be over to suit your schedule... Developing countries will need more time to receive doses and vaccinate their people - wouldn't be logic to allow tourists without restrictions until then.

 

Oh well, as others have said, move from hope to plan and see where you could meet after her work contract is over. 

[smore 19]

On 7/16/2021 at 7:39 PM, RO_AH said:

This is what many informed and experienced people here have been trying to say.

You spend a lot of time thinking and hoping. I think everyone here hopes the same thing but have no faith based on what we have seen and their own public statements.

What many of have been trying to tell you.

You should be discussing and looking at options now in my opinion.

Covid is not ideal. Ideal does not matter. If your relationship is important you can meet alone or in a close by 3rd country on her way home. There is no law saying that you can't go meet her and then go again to the Philippines after things start opening back up. What if after your first meeting you don't hit it off. Or if you do maybe you could start making plans for or even apply for K-1. Or your second trip go to the PH and get married and file CR-1.

 

Open your mind to options available to you.

Thanks again for your advice and I am taking all this advice in and processing it however everyone is in different situations in life and also because of this pandemic, so again I am taking it all in but what might work for one person is not an option for another person, one does have to have hope but YES also a plan, I am trying to have both. But believe me I value all advice, opinions, etc. I choose to expand my horizons and meet someone outside of local dating, or even USA dating, I choose this before the pandemic arrived and than it arrived and I really cannot even believe how its effected our world, our lives, its disheartening, saddening, frustrating, upsetting, than how its effected what I choose to do "meeting someone from a foreign country" and how it continues to block that process.

 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:39 PM, RO_AH said:

This is what many informed and experienced people here have been trying to say.

I appreciate this advice and its really to bad places like the Philippines just cannot get with the program like many other countries are, those countries including the USA simply need to open back up otherwise they cannot survive, there people cannot survive, there businesses cannot survive, industry cannot survive living in this pandemic forever and especially countries like the Philippines which rely so much on tourism, really your going to stay locked down and devastate your economy even more? I understand those countries like the Philippines are behind in vaccinations, yet they have many countries offering them to them.

 

Sorry I am just really frustrated with how our world has been put into this predicament. WHY my LUCK put me in this predicament, I choose to expand my horizons to meet someone outside of the USA at the wrong timing, WHY did I wait to do this, well after horrible relationships time and time again with USA women I got tired of it and finally said I am expanding my horizons and than look what happens I am being blocked by this pandemic, sorry for ranting but this is very disheartening to me, life is short and I have wasted lots of time in my life with horrible, selfish women with no values, morals and with many issues. I just want to find that ONE to enjoy LIFE with.

Sorry getting back to your response, YES I understand that meeting in another country seems like the better option than the Philippines since the Philippines even in perhaps 4-5 months when she goes back to the Philippines might not be allowing travelers in, or having so many restrictions it would be impossible. YES I do understand that, but WE or SHE might not be in a situation where she can fly other places, I mean for us in the USA a passport gets us many places, but for her what does she need? plus would she be comfortable meeting elsewhere (that I do not know, have to talk with her). I have looked into perhaps meeting her at the end of her contract in Hong Kong and if I am reading things correctly Hong Kong has even worse restrictions than the Philippines right now, who knows if Hong Kongs restrictions will change like many countries are and how will things change over the next 4-5 months or even perhaps the Philippines will change as well over the next 4-5 months? No one can really predict that, and I am not just having HOPE, I am trying to plan, but no one knows how things will change, plus I cannot plan anything right now as she is working and has no time to meet right now, cannot make time to meet as that is not the situation she is in with her employer. All I can do is try and think of options. As far as meeting in another country, what other countries would be an option? would work for us? Than what we meet so we can file the K-1 (as the CR-1 is just not an option that is right for our situation as I have explained as to why in previous messages). So we file the K-1 she goes back to the Philippines and I go back to the USA and we wait? At least we would not have to stress over trying to meet I guess as that would already had been accomplished, but than we wait till the K-1 moves along and gets approved than she can fly here. I wish she could fly to the USA to meet, to work, get her out of that Philippines country which sounds like they are lagging behind and probably not healthy, safe place to live.

Sorry for the long responses and rants, this is just stressful, disheartening. I sometimes wonder WHY WHY WHY did I have to meet someone from the Philippines who was not even in the Philippines and was an OFW in Hong Kong and have to deal with these predicaments, add in the pandemic and its ongoing issues. Why could I not of meet someone from the Philippines in the USA who was already here in the USA working, schooling, traveling, living, etc, I sadly sometimes think about that. Again I just want to find that ONE to enjoy LIFE with. And after so many horrible relationships and giving chance after chance with women who just don't admire and appreciate a nice guy I want something different.

 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:39 PM, RO_AH said:

You spend a lot of time thinking and hoping. I think everyone here hopes the same thing but have no faith based on what we have seen and their own public statements.

Yes I agree I spend alot of time thinking and hoping, I am a planner, an organizer its part of who I am. However I am not all about faith and hope I am also realistic, but with this pandemic and such drastic changes one cannot plan much, you sit back and wait, what a situation to be in, just have to sit back and wait, how the USA and other countries have handled this and what they have put people through is NOT RIGHT. I agree I have little faith in much with this pandemic whether its in the USA, our government and the BS they have put us threw as well as other countries and what they are doing and doing to there people. I certainly have no faith or hope in them, but I guess my hope falls back to WOW at some point they have to get with the program and start to move forward, I mean the USA and states have had to move forward in order to survive. I know everyone here HOPES things will change so our journeys can continue and be complete, and everyone is in a different situation and at a different stage in there journey. Some can wait a bit and try and see what happens or changes (can't wait forever, but a bit), others have already waited and are in dire need to see there journey progress and complete. I really don't want to just sit here and hope, I want to know what I can do and plan (like before the pandemic).

 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:39 PM, RO_AH said:

What many of have been trying to tell you.

I have looked into perhaps meeting her at the end of her contract in Hong Kong and if I am reading things correctly Hong Kong has even worse restrictions than the Philippines right now, plus I cannot plan anything right now as she is working and has no time to meet right now, cannot make time to meet as that is not the situation she is in with her employer. So only option I have is to patiently wait till her contract is up in 4-5 months and be able to meet. Will we be able to meet in Philippines? don't think anyone can say for sure YES or NO to that right now as things are changing so much. Or will we be able to plan meeting somewhere else? Is that even possible for her to do? She might not be in a situation where she can fly other places, I mean for us in the USA a passport gets us many places, but for her what does she need? plus would she be comfortable meeting elsewhere (that I do not know, have to talk with her). I know meeting elsewhere is what others are saying and believe me I am keeping that in my thoughts, but it might not work for us to do that either, but again I am certainly keeping all this info in my thoughts.

 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:39 PM, RO_AH said:

You should be discussing and looking at options now in my opinion.

Yes we should be discussing this, but we don't get to talk that often anymore since now that employers kids are out of school the work demand and time is more, so its usually shorter conversations and we cannot get into much in depth conversations. It does stress me out we cannot talk as much as I would like to discuss things a bit more. But again as I have mentioned how do you plan for something now that will not happen for 4-5 months in EVER CHANGING conditions with this pandemic, that is the frustrating part you cannot plan anything in the future with this pandemic, our world needs more certainly like it used to be. We need to FIGURE out this pandemic like NOW and get it under control, I mean if we cannot figure this out I mean we are in serious trouble as a world, look how long this has went on.

 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:39 PM, RO_AH said:

Covid is not ideal. Ideal does not matter. If your relationship is important you can meet alone or in a close by 3rd country on her way home. There is no law saying that you can't go meet her and then go again to the Philippines after things start opening back up. What if after your first meeting you don't hit it off. Or if you do maybe you could start making plans for or even apply for K-1. Or your second trip go to the PH and get married and file CR-1.

 

Open your mind to options available to you.

Yes covid is not ideal, that I know. And believe me I am taking all this info in as I have to be able to pivot to another idea perhaps to meet, of course if she is able to and OK with that, we are 2 people here who have to respect one anothers views. I have certainly been wanting to discuss this with her but its also a strain and stress on us to have to discuss this as 2 people who YES do like one another, YES do want to meet, YES see ourselves being together, but how weird to have to discuss this situation of meeting so we can do that process under the regulations of the K-1 so we can process with that and proceed to actually being able to be together, what a process that is and how horrible under covid. Again with the travel and meeting elsewhere, I am not even sure which country along the way for her getting back to the Philippines would even work to meet in (and would it work for her as I have described above?), but again what countries would be even possible, I thought about Hong Kong where she is at, but that certainly does not look like an option with there restrictions. With this stipulation of having to meet at least once for the K-1 that is where things are at, yes what if we meet and we don't hit it off that is certainly why we want to meet as well, and if we do hit it off than we proceed with the K-1. I wish I could afford making several trips but that is not what my time and life allows of me, (and that is not what if allows many others who have done this process either).

I am certainly opening my mind, but again I do have to speak with her as we are 2 minds. I again hate to say it but WHY am I in this situation. Why could I not of meet someone from the Philippines in the USA who was already here in the USA working, schooling, traveling, living, etc, I sadly sometimes think about that. But it would of been so much easier even during the worst of the pandemic I could of still traveled to meet them at least and start the process. Again I just want to find that ONE to enjoy LIFE with.

Thanks for your continued responses, I really do appreciate your advise. Again my goal on here is to make friends who I can count on.

[smore 19]

On 7/16/2021 at 7:51 PM, Talako said:

The Philippines is what the Philippines is.  Applying logic or analyzing the illogic is, in my opinion, is a waste of time and energy.  I would suggest to do what RO_AH has advised, and that is to focus on what can be done, the options available, and/or alternatives.

 

Or, I guess one could moan about the Philippines for the next two years until it opens up.  (That is my logical illogical guestimate which is subject change constantly and wildly like a Philippine government rule.)

What is one supposed to do? I am not moaning about the Philippines, I am trying to rationalize things, and how does one do that when none of us have any clue what the future holds of opening back up for the Philippines, no one here has any info on what tomorrow, next week, month, etc will be for the Philippines things are changing so much. I am taking in all the info here and really appreciate all the responses from everyone and RO_AH, and believe me I am taking it all in but what works for others may not work for my situation and her, but again am taking it all in, wish I did not have to go through this as pre-covid things were much easier and life could just happen, you could book a flight go where you want to, enjoy that destination, meet that person, file the visa, wait, be together.

I am certainly trying to figure out what can be done but also that will be in 4-5 months as nothing can be done right now at this moment due to her work, but trying to think of what if its not possible to go to Philippines in 4-5 months and sounds like Hong Kong is not an option either at least if things remain how they are now. And again she has to be OK with the alternatives also. Things are changing so much, day by day so who know what will be in 4-5 months but I am still trying to plan things out, think of the what ifs, the alternatives so I thank all of you for all the advice, options, guidance, info.

[smore 19]

On 7/16/2021 at 7:53 PM, Adventine said:

I agree, there seems to be an assumption from OP that only one short visit is needed AND it has to be in the Philippines.

OK not sure what you mean by this statement? what is OP?

 

Not sure if you are referring to the K-1 as what I know is you have to meet once, does not matter the amount of time, or the location.

 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:53 PM, Adventine said:

For something as important as building a relationship with a future spouse, it's best to have multiple visits, for as long a time as you can possibly manage. Those visits can be in any country that they can easily travel to.

 

Although some have married after only one in person meeting, and have built successful marriages, it's not a prudent idea for many.

 

Also: hope is not a plan. Stop wasting time on hope and use the energy to make concrete plans to meet in person.

Sorry but multiple visits is not something I can do and many who have done this process are also not in situations where they could do that, would it be ideal for sure it would be, but its not something most could do. I am not a world traveler, where some travel the world and have met others in many locations, that is not part of my life, would it be nice sure it would be nice to do that but thats not my lifestyle. This is not the most ideal situation either for me and something very different but I am open to the idea of it to meet that wonderful person. Having talked with her for so long has helped me to be more comfortable with the idea of meeting 1 time and than going through with the K-1 and at least than we would still have more time getting to know one another from a distance as well as once K-1 is approved to make sure we want this. As you have mentioned many have done this process of meeting 1 time and have been successful, one never knows with anything in life whether you meet 1 or 10 times it might now work, but having talked for so long has also helped in building a strong connection.

Yes hope is not a plan, and as I have mentioned I am not simply relying on hope or faith but also NONE of us know what the future will be, especially not in 4-5 months when she is able to meet. How can one really put a concrete plan together when things are changing so much due to covid. Right now they are just ideas, and sort of watching as time gets closer to that 4-5 months and see what options are going to work. I do not feel I am wasting time trying to wrap my brain around options and getting advice, I am trying to absorb all the info, but again NONE of us know the future and I cannot make a concrete plan based on such wildly changing restrictions in every country, but I can absorb info and try to steer towards a path perhaps.

[smore 19]

17 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

The pandemic will not be over to suit your schedule... Developing countries will need more time to receive doses and vaccinate their people - wouldn't be logic to allow tourists without restrictions until then.

 

Oh well, as others have said, move from hope to plan and see where you could meet after her work contract is over. 

I do realize the pandemic will not be over to suit my schedule (how messed up this has been), again we have to wait another 4-5 months anyways and as I have mentioned NONE of know what will be in 4-5 months so I cannot create a plan, but I can thanks to everyones advice on here keep an open mind to alternatives, again she has to be able to do that, OK with that as well.

Everyone keeps getting on me about hope, like hope is all I have, NO I am realistic. I am sure all of us on here have HOPE, but again I am also being realistic as this pandemic has been handled horribly by every country, but there are things out of my control, things I cannot do anything about, so hope is sometimes all one has, and its more HOPE that these countries including my own will finally do something as people are hurting from this pandemic and they cannot take much more of it.

[payxibka 10,047]

6 minutes ago, smore said:

 what is OP?

Original Poster

[Adventine 3,210]

6 minutes ago, smore said:

OK not sure what you mean by this statement? what is OP?

 

Not sure if you are referring to the K-1 as what I know is you have to meet once, does not matter the amount of time, or the location.

 

Sorry but multiple visits is not something I can do and many who have done this process are also not in situations where they could do that, would it be ideal for sure it would be, but its not something most could do. I am not a world traveler, where some travel the world and have met others in many locations, that is not part of my life, would it be nice sure it would be nice to do that but thats not my lifestyle. This is not the most ideal situation either for me and something very different but I am open to the idea of it to meet that wonderful person. Having talked with her for so long has helped me to be more comfortable with the idea of meeting 1 time and than going through with the K-1 and at least than we would still have more time getting to know one another from a distance as well as once K-1 is approved to make sure we want this. As you have mentioned many have done this process of meeting 1 time and have been successful, one never knows with anything in life whether you meet 1 or 10 times it might now work, but having talked for so long has also helped in building a strong connection.

Yes hope is not a plan, and as I have mentioned I am not simply relying on hope or faith but also NONE of us know what the future will be, especially not in 4-5 months when she is able to meet. How can one really put a concrete plan together when things are changing so much due to covid. Right now they are just ideas, and sort of watching as time gets closer to that 4-5 months and see what options are going to work. I do not feel I am wasting time trying to wrap my brain around options and getting advice, I am trying to absorb all the info, but again NONE of us know the future and I cannot make a concrete plan based on such wildly changing restrictions in every country, but I can absorb info and try to steer towards a path perhaps.

 

OP = Original Poster, which is you.

 

Certainly, the K1 visa requires you to only meet once in person in the two years before filing. That's the bare minimum requirement.

 

I stand by my comment that people are very different online compared to in person, and that having only one in person meeting before filing for a K1 visa is not a prudent choice for many people.

 

Good luck with your choices, but as @RO_AH said, you need to open up your mind to the options available to you, as the one you seem to prefer (a short visit to the Philippines) does not look feasible any time soon.

 

[Lemonslice 4,963]

4 hours ago, smore said:

I do realize the pandemic will not be over to suit my schedule (how messed up this has been), again we have to wait another 4-5 months anyways and as I have mentioned NONE of know what will be in 4-5 months so I cannot create a plan, but I can thanks to everyones advice on here keep an open mind to alternatives, again she has to be able to do that, OK with that as well.

Everyone keeps getting on me about hope, like hope is all I have, NO I am realistic. I am sure all of us on here have HOPE, but again I am also being realistic as this pandemic has been handled horribly by every country, but there are things out of my control, things I cannot do anything about, so hope is sometimes all one has, and its more HOPE that these countries including my own will finally do something as people are hurting from this pandemic and they cannot take much more of it.

Work on plan A, B, C, and D - see how you can meet in different countries, with the current restrictions, and update your different plans as the situation evolves in the future.  Others have found ways, you will be able to find something that works for you two. 

 

You say MY, MY, MY - ME, ME, ME - sorry, but we're all in this together.  The world is not up against you.
4M + people have not died to "annoy" you.  Why not contact the big pharma, or your representatives,  and ask them to donate more doses to foreign countries?  Volunteer at your local shelter?  You seem to think you have better solutions than what is currently being done, put them to work,  be part of the solution!  

[smore 19]

7 hours ago, Adventine said:

 

OP = Original Poster, which is you.

 

Certainly, the K1 visa requires you to only meet once in person in the two years before filing. That's the bare minimum requirement.

 

I stand by my comment that people are very different online compared to in person, and that having only one in person meeting before filing for a K1 visa is not a prudent choice for many people.

 

Good luck with your choices, but as @RO_AH said, you need to open up your mind to the options available to you, as the one you seem to prefer (a short visit to the Philippines) does not look feasible any time soon.

 

Sorry had no idea what OP meant, thanks for the clarification on that, thought it was something totally different and here it meant ME. 

I was never under the assumption that meeting in person under the requirements for the K-1 had to be in the Philippines, I do realize that meeting can take place anywhere, and it does not have to be for any certain amount of time that you meet. However meeting elsewhere does not always work for everyone, some people have the luxury of meeting others while on vacation, or traveling around the world, neither me or her are world travelers.

 

I agree that people can be different online than in person, believe me this I know from dating locally, but I also did not speak with them for 1 1/2 years before going on that date, locally of course its a much much shorter time frame before meeting in person and if it does not work out than you just go your separate ways. So with meeting someone overseas I have to have an open mind that things are different in how it works for many, its a much longer time frame of messages, phone, etc and a shorter time frame of actual time spent together, just the way it is unless your in a situation you can move there, spend weeks, months there which most who have done this process are certainly not able to. I am not retired, I have a job, life, home, responsibilities I cannot just leave for an extended period of time. But YES even after talking for 1 1/2 years we will not know for sure until we meet, we both realize this. YES having only one in person meeting is not ideal, but neither is meeting someone overseas, its different, we cannot go on 50 dates (wish we could), but as many have done they have meet and married and all has been OK. Its about the 2 people, how they feel not only via messages, phone, etc but once we meet in person, how we feel, how the communication goes. We still have that time during the filing of the K-1 and also the 90 days in case we are not feeling the relationship and all, that is why I do like the K-1 versus the CR-1 as that is way to drastic for my situation with her as it is now. The K-1 as long as after meeting we have that connection with one another still gives us time to grow into the relationship more.

 

As I have said time and time again, my mind is OPEN, I am taking all these suggestions in and thinking about them, and also I have to have a conversation with her about them as well. Ideally YES meeting in the Philippines for a short visit, enough time to spend some time together and know if that connection remains in person is of course ideal, its ideal for her as well as she is not some person who can just JET off and travel the world, and neither am I, plus its important family wise for her as well. I am however not expecting to go visit her today, tomorrow or next week so whatever restrictions are on now might change for the better or maybe even the worse in 4-5 months when she gets home. NONE of us here know anything about what the future holds, we only know what is going on now. I have certainly read many news reports about the Philippines opening back up, especially by the end of the year, the tourism dept has reported it has many scenarios to start to open back up for tourist, plus more and more are getting vaccinated in the Philippines, I know the USA just donated millions of vaccines to the Philippines recently. This is not necessary HOPE, its facts that things will change, how quickly NONE of us know. If I was thinking about meeting her SOON like this week, month, etc YES of course I would have to have another plan in place because travel is not an option to Philippines right now, probably not a good option anywhere to be honest right now, even travel in the USA has become more difficult with this Delta variant going around.

Believe me its horrible to not know what the future will be, but YES I am keeping an open mind, thinking of different options, and I appreciate everyones advice, thoughts, wishes, etc. Thanks for wishing me luck in my choices, NO choices have been made as far as visiting as again its at least 4-5 months till I could even plan to visit her, and again any other scenarios or options at that time certainly need to be discussed with her and what works for both of us.

[smore 19]

3 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

Work on plan A, B, C, and D - see how you can meet in different countries, with the current restrictions, and update your different plans as the situation evolves in the future.  Others have found ways, you will be able to find something that works for you two. 

 

You say MY, MY, MY - ME, ME, ME - sorry, but we're all in this together.  The world is not up against you.
4M + people have not died to "annoy" you.  Why not contact the big pharma, or your representatives,  and ask them to donate more doses to foreign countries?  Volunteer at your local shelter?  You seem to think you have better solutions than what is currently being done, put them to work,  be part of the solution!  

Yes I am certainly taking in all that everyone says on here for alternate plans for sure, other countries that might work to meet in, but I also have to have that conversation with her to see what may work for her as well. We both are not people who JET around the world on vacations. What might easily work for someone else may not work for others as we all live different lives. But again I am certainly taking in all the advice as to meeting elsewhere, however as of right now NO WHERE seems to be a good place in that area of the world, Hong Kong has horrible restrictions and many other countries do as well. Again as far as visiting its at least 4-5 months till I could even plan to visit her, and NONE of us know what the restrictions anywhere will be than, and again any other scenarios or options at that time certainly need to be discussed with her and what works for both of us.

 

I do not believe you have read every one of my posts in this tread, Nor do I expect that you have read each response. But I am certainly not all about ME or MY, this thread was started by of course ME and my situation, which may help others as well. But I have never in my life been about just ME, if you have seen my other threads in this message I of course know WE ALL are in this together, WE ALL have had our journeys effected, our lives effected, and still are having them effected, it makes me SAD so many others around the world are being effected. But MY post is about ME (well Me and Her) and YES about my situation and I thank all those who have responded. YES I know the world is not up against me, and who said anything about people annoying me. But do not even get me started on the catastrophe that covid has been and it certainly did not need to be this way, I have lost loved ones, friends, who could still be here, and seen countless people suffering with covid, and suffering with what covid has done to there lives and there livelihood. I am VERY UPSET that 1 person had to die because of covid, not annoyed at it. YES frustrated that OUR (YES ALL OF OURS), OUR WORLD had to suffer with covid, suffer with loss of life, when we SHOULD of been more prepared, protected from this. NO ONE should of died because of covid, and it certainly should also not of turned our world upside down because we simply should of OPENED our EYES to what was going on and those who we trust in did not protect us and those who were vulnerable, which is ALL of US, we ALL are and were vulnerable. Do I want covid to END, WELL YES (wish it never started in the first place) I would think all of us want that, but not because its an inconvenience to me and my journey, its time to STOP the world suffering but now that we are in this it also has to be done safely.

I should not have to contact the big pharma, or my representatives,  and ask them to donate more doses to foreign countries? You know what they should be doing that without the need for little old me telling them to do that. Maybe those who have power in this country, this world should be asking them to do that. As I stated in one of my recent posts the USA did donate many vaccinations to the Philippines and many other countries as well have been donating vaccinations to countries, this is all great but also needs to keep happening. I have solutions you say?? what solutions have I come up with, NONE that I know of as I would never say I have all the solutions, what are we even talking about anyways??? as this topic is not about that at all, but it does not take a genesis to realize WE the world messed up with covid and it costs lives, MANY LIVES, people I will never see again, and many of you also lost loved ones, friends, and my heart goes out to EVERYONE. But this I know covid did not have to get out of hand as it did, this I know, more could of been done to STOP it, and perhaps even prevent it, those we think we trust to keep us safe, well we all see how that works with all the other issues we have. All we really should rely on is being good to one another, taking care of one another, whether its little old ME and YOU, or the governments we live under, trust should be able to be there but sadly its not. OK sorry for the RANT, but why this has gotten off topic I am unaware of.

[RO_AH 1,662]

@smore In every response of yours you retell us all about you, and your girlfriend, the type of people you are and why you cannot do anything that has been suggested. Everyone understands this and is here giving advice based on your situation. You can explain the same thing 10x more, but do not expect the advice you are getting to change. The people here have, and or are, going through the same thing that you are planning on, and they/we are very knowledgeable about it. You always say I appreciate the advice, "but". Do you say the same thing to your doctor, mechanic?

From what you have said I have extreme doubts you can or will be able to navigate this process. You are in a 1 1/2 year relationship and still can't use the word love. You said you both like each other. That gives me concern.

You say that you and her are not world travelers. From what you have said it seems that she definitely is but you are not. I had been to Mexico and Canada prior to my first of 7 trips to the Philippines so I would not have considered myself a world traveler. I would venture to bet that most here were not world travelers before starting the process. If you live your life as who you are and not who you want to be or become, your future will be very limited. If you are planning or do marry a Filipina, you will become a world traveler. Do you think you will go there once and be done? Family is very important in the Philippines and if she moves to America you and her will be going to visit.

You are also talking about 4 or 5 months away as if it's a year or 2. I have planned almost every trip to the Philippines more than 4-5 months in advance. 4-5 months happens in a flash and with the constant changes in all countries and travel restrictions if you were wise you would plan now. And not just one plan but plan A, B. D & D as @Lemonslice suggested.

You have been given great advice and I wish you the best.

 

[flicks1998 1,044]

16 hours ago, smore said:

Yes I am certainly taking in all that everyone says on here for alternate plans for sure, other countries that might work to meet in, but I also have to have that conversation with her to see what may work for her as well. We both are not people who JET around the world on vacations. What might easily work for someone else may not work for others as we all live different lives. But again I am certainly taking in all the advice as to meeting elsewhere, however as of right now NO WHERE seems to be a good place in that area of the world, Hong Kong has horrible restrictions and many other countries do as well. Again as far as visiting its at least 4-5 months till I could even plan to visit her, and NONE of us know what the restrictions anywhere will be than, and again any other scenarios or options at that time certainly need to be discussed with her and what works for both of us.

 

 

I was trying to avoid commenting on this thread, mainly because the posts are so long.   However I have skimmed over alot of them and you have received some good advice from many of the posters.  I, myself could also write a book on this topic, but unfortunately dont have time.  One of the earlier posts by @Joe Kano is correct, that if you have never met in person she is only a chatmate.  Even if you profess your undying love for each other, you will always just be a chatmate until meeting.  Most likely (meaning around 99%), she has other chatmates especially if you met over the internet.  There is nothing wrong with this, but foreigners need to understand that this is how the game is played. 

 

If you are serious on meeting I think a good source for you is the below Youtube channel.  99% of Youtube videos on the Philippines are junk, but I agree with alot of what this lady mentions in her video. (in the decades in the country I have experienced many things she talks about).  I think it would be a huge benefit if you were to watch many of these and develop a general understanding about the Philippines as well as the culture.  I would not tell your chatmate that you are watching these or doing your open separate research.  Its best you educate yourself and then look for red and green flags when chatting with each other.  If you do decide to meet, there are key things to be aware of but those can differ depending if your meeting her by herself or if family will be present.  Im a pretty firm believer in meeting the person first without family as if you dont recognize the warning signs, you could find yourself in a tricky situation with family around.  Also, if you do decide to meet, you can always post on this board where you're meeting and with who and many can chime in with further input.   

 

https://www.youtube.com/c/TheFilipinaPea

Edited July 19, 2021 by flicks1998

[flicks1998 1,044]

17 hours ago, smore said:

Yes I am certainly taking in all that everyone says on here for alternate plans for sure, other countries that might work to meet in, but I also have to have that conversation with her to see what may work for her as well. We both are not people who JET around the world on vacations.

Your first suggested video.  As I said, she has a strong following with foreigners who have lived a long time in the Philippines as she speaks to almost everyones experience at some point in time.  Good luck.