Affidavits by third parties. Do they have to wait until we're actually married?

[Sabela 16]

Hi everyone. I'd appreciate your help in this matter. I have a question about the affidavits sworn by third parties as additional evidence of the relationship. Here is what it says on the USCIS website: "Affidavits by third parties having personal knowledge of the bona fides of the marital relationship. Each affidavit must contain [...] and complete information and details explaining how the person acquired his or her knowledge of your marriage". Our friends who know the relationship are already working on the letters (and some of them finished and notarized already), BUT we won't be getting married until we're reunited again. Then, we'll file everything together shortly after. My question is: my friends can't say that they know the bona fides of the marital relationship at this point bc we aren't currently married, but can only attest for the validity / authenticity of our love. Is this valid? Anyone who was on a similar situation and can confirm this for me? One of my friends is concerned because she says she has to mention we're married, but we're currently not, so... It's a tough spot. Do they have to wait to sign the affidavits and notarize them until we are married? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.

[Crazy Cat 41,887]

6 minutes ago, Sabela said:

Hi everyone. I'd appreciate your help in this matter. I have a question about the affidavits sworn by third parties as additional evidence of the relationship. Here is what it says on the USCIS website: "Affidavits by third parties having personal knowledge of the bona fides of the marital relationship. Each affidavit must contain [...] and complete information and details explaining how the person acquired his or her knowledge of your marriage". Our friends who know the relationship are already working on the letters (and some of them finished and notarized already), BUT we won't be getting married until we're reunited again. Then, we'll file everything together shortly after. My question is: my friends can't say that they know the bona fides of the marital relationship at this point bc we aren't currently married, but can only attest for the validity / authenticity of our love. Is this valid? Anyone who was on a similar situation and can confirm this for me? One of my friends is concerned because she says she has to mention we're married, but we're currently not, so... It's a tough spot. Do they have to wait to sign the affidavits and notarize them until we are married? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Personal affidavits are very weak evidence. Anyone can produce an affidavit to say say anything.   I would avoid them.  Your best evidence is that of having been together.  

[Sabela 16]

Thanks for your reply. We'll add that too, but we want to have the more, the better.

[Crazy Cat 41,887]

4 minutes ago, Sabela said:

Thanks for your reply. We'll add that too, but we want to have the more, the better.

  Evidence of time spent together should be the MAIN focus of your evidence. Concentrate on QUALITY instead of quantity.......  More is NOT always better.   USCIS and DOS can see right through fluff.

Edited May 8, 2021 by Lucky Cat

[Sabela 16]

We have several trips together, pictures, Airbnb tickets, gifts... since 2018. We will add that "too" as proof of evidence stated by others. We haven't met each other's family yet (in person), for instance, so we'll like to provide more of other evidence if we can.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

32 minutes ago, Sabela said:

Hi everyone. I'd appreciate your help in this matter. I have a question about the affidavits sworn by third parties as additional evidence of the relationship. Here is what it says on the USCIS website: "Affidavits by third parties having personal knowledge of the bona fides of the marital relationship. Each affidavit must contain [...] and complete information and details explaining how the person acquired his or her knowledge of your marriage". Our friends who know the relationship are already working on the letters (and some of them finished and notarized already), BUT we won't be getting married until we're reunited again. Then, we'll file everything together shortly after. My question is: my friends can't say that they know the bona fides of the marital relationship at this point bc we aren't currently married, but can only attest for the validity / authenticity of our love. Is this valid? Anyone who was on a similar situation and can confirm this for me? One of my friends is concerned because she says she has to mention we're married, but we're currently not, so... It's a tough spot. Do they have to wait to sign the affidavits and notarize them until we are married? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.

First if all affidavits have little to no evidentiary value 

Second:  In the context of proving validity of the marriage affidavits of validity of the marriage that are notarized before the marriage date are going to flash bright red.   Shred them.  You’ve wasted others’ time.
 

You are (strongly) advised to stick to hard proof of dates, places, visits showing you are at the same location at the same time

You are also advised to enroll your spouse in benefits at your job inside the “enrollment window” that opens when you get married and prove you did or you tried.  Includes beneficiary, everything they will let you do or get a record that you tried and could not.

You are advised to co-mingle your finances as much as possible (which won’t be much) but travel tickets, bookings, and other purchases that you make together or for each other to spend time together do show an ongoing relationship

You are advised to provide some information about the wedding - a few photos of the two of you and attendees

The rest of your package is the normal documentation that is required to process the petition.

 

 

Edited May 8, 2021 by Nitas_man

[Nitas_man 3,100]

16 minutes ago, Sabela said:

We have several trips together, pictures, Airbnb tickets, gifts... since 2018. We will add that "too" as proof of evidence stated by others. We haven't met each other's family yet (in person), for instance, so we'll like to provide more of other evidence if we can.

That isn’t a “too” that is actually critical primary evidence of your ongoing relationship and that is what you should be focused on, not affidavits

Edited May 8, 2021 by Nitas_man

[JeanneAdil 6,510]

You want to marry and apply for a CR1 from your many posts?

no one can sign an affidivat if you are not married 

And the reason 

 

and when that happens ,  there will be a marriage certificate and some photos of the marriage

The reason affadivats are weak is that here in the US the definition of affidavit is:

 

"An affidavit is a type of verified statement or showing, or in other words, it contains a verification, which means that it is made under oath on penalty of perjury, 

 

Immigration can not enforce this perjury (if it is so) in another country

An affidavit would carry more weight if you decide to do this from a USC who would attend your wedding 

 

and you will be very welcome here in TN   / hope you like mountains and rivers

Edited May 8, 2021 by JeanneAdil

[Sabela 16]

Well, I do appreciate the directness of all your responses and information. Just to be clear: We do have a genuine relationship since 2018. As such, we have been to parties together, trips together (outside and inside the state with Airbnb reservations (no tickets, since we drove)),  we have numerous messages, video calls over time, gifts we have exchanged and will have pictures of the wedding. We have co-mingled finances with a joint account in March, but it won't have that much activity in it since we will file at the end of May. We were concerned about this (financial) fact + about not having met each other's family (in person) yet. We have not seen each other in a year either because of the coronavirus, also bc I had to leave the country at the end of my visa, and the fact that he has all the health issues you can imagine (he's morbidly obese with diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) and I have moderate asthma. I left the US when my visa was over, and then it was too soon to marry when I left. All of this to say, we have some things that officers may think are odd, and that's why we considered adding affidavits of friends that obviously know of the relationship bc they have seen it live and grow. BUT, with what you said about the red flagging submitting before marriage and the little weigh they carry, we won't be adding them. Thanks for your help again. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have raised unnecesasry red flags while trying to help.

[JFH 12,190]

17 minutes ago, Sabela said:

Well, I do appreciate the directness of all your responses and information. Just to be clear: We do have a genuine relationship since 2018. As such, we have been to parties together, trips together (outside and inside the state with Airbnb reservations (no tickets, since we drove)),  we have numerous messages, video calls over time, gifts we have exchanged and will have pictures of the wedding. We have co-mingled finances with a joint account in March, but it won't have that much activity in it since we will file at the end of May. We were concerned about this (financial) fact + about not having met each other's family (in person) yet. We have not seen each other in a year either because of the coronavirus, also bc I had to leave the country at the end of my visa, and the fact that he has all the health issues you can imagine (he's morbidly obese with diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) and I have moderate asthma. I left the US when my visa was over, and then it was too soon to marry when I left. All of this to say, we have some things that officers may think are odd, and that's why we considered adding affidavits of friends that obviously know of the relationship bc they have seen it live and grow. BUT, with what you said about the red flagging submitting before marriage and the little weigh they carry, we won't be adding them. Thanks for your help again. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have raised unnecesasry red flags while trying to help.

No consular officer is going to consider it “odd” that you left the country when your visa expired and that you haven’t been able to see each other in a long time because of COVID-19. They also will not think it odd that you didn’t get married sooner. Each couple gets married when they are ready. If you weren’t ready when you were here on your visa, that’s absolutely fine. Not everyone wants to get married within 6 months of first seeing someone. I’ve seen couples on here who dated for 10 years before getting married. To each his own. 
 

It’s also not a problem that you haven’t met each other’s families yet. My mother didn’t meet my husband until we had been married for almost 4 years, 18 months after I immigrated. I have 4 siblings. Only one has met my husband. We have been together 9 years as of tomorrow, married for 6.5 years and I’ve been here in the US for almost 4.5 years. I’ve been through the spousal visa process and Naturalisation based on marriage without my siblings having even met my husband and not once has this been questioned. It’s not an issue. 
 

Affidavits are very weak. The majority of us get through this without them and without the additional luxury of having lived together (even temporarily) prior to immigration. Before I moved here I’d never spent more than 3 weeks with my husband. Many people don’t even have visits that are that long. We had no joint accounts. He’d never met my family. It was all a non-issue. You are over-thinking this. The reason USCIS provides the option to provide affidavits is that some people struggle with other forms of evidence. The beneficiary may live in a country which is difficult for USCs to visit regularly (rigorous visitor visa process, costly, political concerns, etc). 

[JFH 12,190]

*~*~*procedural question moved from “progress reports” to “process and procedures”*~*~*

[Sabela 16]

@JFH Thank you for sharing your personal story. You brought a lot of relief to my case. The fact that we had not seen each other in so long due to COVID (plus our diseases who increased risk) until we could get vaccinated was a concern. There were people who traveled, but my fiancé has not the best health profile, and me neither unfortunately. We are safe to travel now  Yes, I tend to overthink everything, so I am probably doing the same in this case. I am glad everything turned out well for you in the end, and I appreciate the time you took to write such a detailed message. I will not include the affidavits after your advice. I just feel sorry for having wasted people's times.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

48 minutes ago, Sabela said:

Well, I do appreciate the directness of all your responses and information. Just to be clear: We do have a genuine relationship since 2018. As such, we have been to parties together, trips together (outside and inside the state with Airbnb reservations (no tickets, since we drove)),  we have numerous messages, video calls over time, gifts we have exchanged and will have pictures of the wedding. We have co-mingled finances with a joint account in March, but it won't have that much activity in it since we will file at the end of May. We were concerned about this (financial) fact + about not having met each other's family (in person) yet. We have not seen each other in a year either because of the coronavirus, also bc I had to leave the country at the end of my visa, and the fact that he has all the health issues you can imagine (he's morbidly obese with diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) and I have moderate asthma. I left the US when my visa was over, and then it was too soon to marry when I left. All of this to say, we have some things that officers may think are odd, and that's why we considered adding affidavits of friends that obviously know of the relationship bc they have seen it live and grow. BUT, with what you said about the red flagging submitting before marriage and the little weigh they carry, we won't be adding them. Thanks for your help again. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have raised unnecesasry red flags while trying to help.

I will say - 

 

You appear to have a very strong package and have no need of affidavit anyway, although they would probably neither help nor hurt (exception, they need to be prepared AFTER the marriage by folks who can attest to your married relationship or a sharp IO is gonna wonder why).  

Wasn’t us who did you a solid, your friend who raised that concern was right to do so.

Had you entered, gotten married, filed, and stayed to adjust status you probably would need to meet the burden of proof that you are visualizing.  What you are doing?  Quite normal.  
 

Some comparison:  We had no, zero time together before we got married, Landed on Thursday, married Saturday AM, first time we met in person.

 

I did those things listed above, nobody here ever met her so no affidavits even if I had needed them, and we were approved.  You will be fine 👍

 

 

Edited May 8, 2021 by Nitas_man

[Sabela 16]

@Nitas_man Thank you anyway. It helps having your feedback.

[JeanneAdil 6,510]

BTW  do not have to say sorry for any question

you are not wasting anyone's time as this question (as all questions are) very important to many on here

i had to have an affadivit from my mother when our relationship received an RFE saying when did you tell your parents you would marry (very silly as part of my RFE as i am too old for BS

Mom lives 10 hours from me and has RH so i traveled there and did an affadivit (of course USC)   How else could i prove i told them / sent in dad's death certificate to show i did not have to tell him

I overthink as well but i had to deal with a high fraud country 

 

and your question is not silly at all / its an important part of this whole proceedure to know all you can know thoughout the process

Best to you both