Financial Responsibility as a sponsor

[NMBob 0]

125 percent of 2021 poverty level.

 

1.25 x 1 person level of  $12880 =  $16,100    

 1.25 x  2 person (mother with 1 child etc) $17,420 = $21, 775

[Bret L Smith 15]

On 4/28/2021 at 9:19 AM, JeffAtl said:

I hate to even bring this up, but its a concern.  I've read a lot on other boards and just research in general that the person in the U.S. who is sponsoring their future spouse is potentially liable for 125% of any government assistance that immigrant may go on in the event the relationship fails for a period of 10 years or until that person is a U.S. citizen which I believe takes around 5 years minimum.  Anyone have horror stories to share on this? What are the realistic chances of financial ruin for the sponsor if it doesn't work out? I just want to know the potential downside scenarios as we are getting close to the Embassy interview and then there's really no turning back as it's the final step to her approval.  I believe I've been misinformed by my attorney, which is why I bring this up.  The whole process has put a strain on our relationship and I'm taking a huge risk.

It sounds like you have serious doubts about he strength of your relationship. 
And if it was me I wouldn’t go through with it until I was damn sure. But only you can make that decision.

[Patricia Owuh 175]

On 4/28/2021 at 11:19 AM, JeffAtl said:

I hate to even bring this up, but its a concern.  I've read a lot on other boards and just research in general that the person in the U.S. who is sponsoring their future spouse is potentially liable for 125% of any government assistance that immigrant may go on in the event the relationship fails for a period of 10 years or until that person is a U.S. citizen which I believe takes around 5 years minimum.  Anyone have horror stories to share on this? What are the realistic chances of financial ruin for the sponsor if it doesn't work out? I just want to know the potential downside scenarios as we are getting close to the Embassy interview and then there's really no turning back as it's the final step to her approval.  I believe I've been misinformed by my attorney, which is why I bring this up.  The whole process has put a strain on our relationship and I'm taking a huge risk.

Never heard of the government doing that but you as a sponsor are 100% responsible for them. My husband is here and things have changed drastically.  I feel used but it's too late now to go back. No relationship at all really. 

[JeffAtl 16]

15 hours ago, justwill said:

Forgive me, but aren’t you already willing to risk this if you were in a relationship with someone? Just in general, something similar.

Also, why are you so concern that this relationship might not work out?

 I’m not trying to judge, but if you’re so concern about the financial ramifications rather than looking forward to the future you will share with your spouse, I think you should call it off. 

I'm concerned about financial issues because she can't work for several months and I'm paying a ton in lawyers expenses.  Were it not for the lawyer and getting the cost of her and her son over here, I wouldn't be so concerned.

 

 

14 hours ago, Btranquilo said:

I agree with several others that it is good that you feel free to openly ask the questions you are asking on this board. A couple of things that I would add; the amount needed to earn per quarter in 2021 is $1,470 or $5,880 per year. If you have not done so already, I strongly suggest you talk with her about a pre-nup. I assume you want to have a prenup so I suggest you talk with her about that ASAP. If she expresses doubt about a prenup then, IMO, that would definitely be a red flag. 

Since financial factors are important, I suggest you also ask her if she intends to and wants to work. What type of work is she suited for? How is her English? Do you live in a rural community where jobs for an immigrant who does not speak good English might be difficult to get? Do you want her work? 

Both your conversation about the prenup and about her wanting and ability to work will be useful in knowing more about what to expect and for you to continue to make your decision about the relationship. At the same time, she can also be making a decision about you.

Not to be cynical about all of this nor to make stereotypical judgements; however if you met her through some type of match company that focuses on US men meeting Ukrainian women it may very well be that she has been corresponding with other American men. If so, she would not be the first to have some level of relationship with more than one American man. 

Now I will be a bit cynical and say this: If she speaks fairly good English and has a track record of working in Ukraine and has job skills to be able to fairly easily find work in the US AND if you have a good tight prenup then your financial risks are really fairly minimal in my opinion. Worst case scenario - you get married but after a few years one or both of you want a divorce; if you have a well done prenup the expenses to you are not all that great in the divorce; if she has been working in a stable job she has been building up those SS quarters and if she has a decent job she is not eligible for most "public charge" federal benefits (such as food stamps, Section 8 housing assistance, etc.) anyway so your financial sponsorship is not an issue.

I hope my input is helpful in makin your decision. Having said all that, I wish you the best.    

 

 

 

 

 

Prenup has been discussed, and she is on board.  She is also educated and will be able to work..  Question is how soon.  English is fluent and given out political environment, she should have a huge advantage over someone with similar qualifications to be able to work.  You know, the whole "diversity" movement.  I want her to work, but its also unclear what her financial contribution will be to the household, as she has some old fashioned views.  She initially thought her money was for her and her son only and my Russian female friend (who will also be her friend) told her that won't fly here.  She will be expected to contribute.  How much she's willing to, I don't know.  We didn't meet through a matchmaker, we met online.  

12 hours ago, alexkimifrank said:

I'm just curious as to how you've invested that much money? Like, what expenses cause such steep price?

How have I invested that much money??? Gifts to her and her son, attorney's fees and more attorney's fees to come.  I covered all trips for both of us, engagement ring, lawyer in Ukraine as well.  It never ends.  So yeah, I will be $20k into this plus my increased expenses for whatever they need when they get here, which is hard to fully calculate.  Car for her, cost of wedding, day trips to show them around, English lessons (expensive), etc.  I mean, its a lot if you do it properly.

[Just Paul 4,595]

10 minutes ago, JeffAtl said:

'm concerned about financial issues because she can't work for several months

It could be over a year.   You have to marry, get the filed copy of the marriage license, file the AOS/etc and get the combo card.

13 minutes ago, JeffAtl said:

I'm paying a ton in lawyers expenses.

Most here are DIY.  My "costs" were limited to USCIS fees . . . and we also obtained Mexican Residency along the way.

[Adventine 3,210]

21 minutes ago, JeffAtl said:

How have I invested that much money??? Gifts to her and her son, attorney's fees and more attorney's fees to come.  I covered all trips for both of us, engagement ring, lawyer in Ukraine as well.  It never ends.  So yeah, I will be $20k into this plus my increased expenses for whatever they need when they get here, which is hard to fully calculate.  Car for her, cost of wedding, day trips to show them around, English lessons (expensive), etc.  I mean, its a lot if you do it properly.

 

I acknowledge that how you spend your money is your business, but I would like to respectfully point out that "doing it properly" does not necessarily mean spending a lot of money. 

 

If the expenses are causing you this much stress (and they seem to be, based on your posts), it is time to evaluate where you can cut back. And that exercise is a joint effort with your partner.

[JeffAtl 16]

24 minutes ago, Paul & Mary said:

It could be over a year.   You have to marry, get the filed copy of the marriage license, file the AOS/etc and get the combo card.

Most here are DIY.  My "costs" were limited to USCIS fees . . . and we also obtained Mexican Residency along the way.

So this is easy and inexpensive? Not what I heard.  The last think I want to do is fill it out wrong or have questions on it I can't answer and have to start over, so I don't know.  The filing fees alone are very high though.

13 minutes ago, Adventine said:

 

I acknowledge that how you spend your money is your business, but I would like to respectfully point out that "doing it properly" does not necessarily mean spending a lot of money. 

 

If the expenses are causing you this much stress (and they seem to be, based on your posts), it is time to evaluate where you can cut back. And that exercise is a joint effort with your partner.

She seems to have little care about what I'm spending.  That will change when she gets here and we have a tighter budget than I have now (although its pretty tight as it is), so I don't see her being much help until she's working, and then I expect some resistance on her financial contribution.

Edited May 3, 2021 by JeffAtl

[Adventine 3,210]

Just now, JeffAtl said:

She seems to have little care about what I'm spending.  That will change when she gets here and we have a tighter budget than I have now (although its pretty tight as it is), so I don't see her being much help until she's working, and then I expect some resistance on her financial contribution.

 

Based on the way you describe your fiancee, I really think you need to take a step back here. Couples should be aligned with their financial goals before getting married. These issues need to be resolved before she arrives in the States. Otherwise, your resentment will just fester.

[JeffAtl 16]

15 minutes ago, Adventine said:

 

Based on the way you describe your fiancee, I really think you need to take a step back here. Couples should be aligned with their financial goals before getting married. These issues need to be resolved before she arrives in the States. Otherwise, your resentment will just fester.

She has somewhat reluctantly said she will help.  Now how much, thats to be decided.  But after speaking to my Russian female friend, she gets it now.  My friend said " you have to understand it takes 2 incomes and I've always worked and contributed".  This friend is in a happy marriage and she's the first person my fiancee will meet.  Trying to have faith.

[CrisBR 30]

On 4/28/2021 at 1:42 PM, SteveInBostonI130 said:

 

A few years ago I was on a message board about dating in former soviet union countries.  Someone there was talking about making travel arrangements for his K1 fiance.  He started looking into the AOS process and the provision in the I-864 about the liability if the immigrant goes on public support. 

 

He worked himself over with so much worry and anxiety that it affected their relationship.  He could not relate to her after she arrived without thinking about the I-864.  It pretty much ruined their relationship and she went back without getting married.  He was miserable, and she was miserable, especially after quitiing her job and selling her things to move only to have to start over again back home.

 

My advice - evaluate the strenght of your relationship.  The I-864 liability, thought not trivial, is minor compared to financial and emotional costs related to divorce and, in rare and extreme cases, false claims of VAWA.  Do not let the public charge liability influence you.  Let your relationship influence you.

 

Are you guys compatible?  Do you see a happy life together?  If you are unsure of her character and personality, then rethink your decision for the K1, hopefully before her interview.  If things are good and you believe she is the "one", then happy journeys!  Well...as happy as you can be while filing forms and dealing with USCIS...

 

And I’d also say that, on top of that, some foreigners come to the US thinking a single breadwinner in the house will make it all happen when it comes to paying bills and have some savings for future plans.

Some cultures see it as indelicate and disrespectful if you investigate about a person’s financial habits and so on, but part of a good marriage is to be on the same page when it comes to finances and long term projects like working and saving money for a greater good.

My advice here would be to track your fiancee’s real intentions and motivations to begin with.

 

 

[JeffAtl 16]

1 hour ago, CrisBR said:

And I’d also say that, on top of that, some foreigners come to the US thinking a single breadwinner in the house will make it all happen when it comes to paying bills and have some savings for future plans.

Some cultures see it as indelicate and disrespectful if you investigate about a person’s financial habits and so on, but part of a good marriage is to be on the same page when it comes to finances and long term projects like working and saving money for a greater good.

My advice here would be to track your fiancee’s real intentions and motivations to begin with.

 

 

Doing my best.  She has said things like "our budget", and I've said things like "My home is no longer just my home, its your's and your son's".  I think she gets it.  You could take my comment 2 different ways, and that is how I meant it.  Meaning, its your home also, and you need to contribute.  I've beaten the dead horse and I'm done because I know its not something she wants to hear over and over again.  But I will ask her for money towards the house payment and groceries at the very least, as well as her car/car insurance.  She'll end up better off financially from this, as I'd expect her to be able to save much more, but some of her savings may go into a joint investment account.  I think it will even out enough in the end.  If not, we will be divorced, simple as that.  I won't be used as I was in my first marriage and she knows it.  I see us having a joint account for bills and our own separate accounts where we don't need to tell each other what we're spending on, and of course an investment account.

Edited May 3, 2021 by JeffAtl

[SalishSea 18,127]

OP, I'm not sure why you feel you've needed the expensive lawyers.  Most of us here have done our entire process as DIY.  That's the whole point of VJ.

 

You still have quite a ways to go with the rest of the process, which you could definitely complete without the lawyers.

[JeffAtl 16]

1 hour ago, Jorgedig said:

OP, I'm not sure why you feel you've needed the expensive lawyers.  Most of us here have done our entire process as DIY.  That's the whole point of VJ.

 

You still have quite a ways to go with the rest of the process, which you could definitely complete without the lawyers.

Well, I will try that.  I think my attorney isn't charging all that much, but the filing fees (as he tells me) are high.  I will find another way.

[Just Paul 4,595]

6 hours ago, JeffAtl said:

So this is easy and inexpensive? Not what I heard.  The last think I want to do is fill it out wrong or have questions on it I can't answer and have to start over, so I don't know.

Filing the I-129F is very straightforward and there is plenty of free help here and low cost at other sources.  Unless you have criminal issues or are a multiple filers approvals are proforma.  I help at an immigration clinic and rarely are there any questions on filing the initial petitions.

 

Hopefully you looked at the total costs of Spousal vs Fiance (with a child) at the beginning of the process.  It sounds like you don't have a firm grip of the timeline for how things occur after arrival on a fiance visa if you are expecting her to be able to work a few months after arrival.

 

It is all doable as DYI.   And if you think the fees are high now be grateful they didn't increase to cover actual costs.

[JeffAtl 16]

23 minutes ago, Paul & Mary said:

Filing the I-129F is very straightforward and there is plenty of free help here and low cost at other sources.  Unless you have criminal issues or are a multiple filers approvals are proforma.  I help at an immigration clinic and rarely are there any questions on filing the initial petitions.

 

Hopefully you looked at the total costs of Spousal vs Fiance (with a child) at the beginning of the process.  It sounds like you don't have a firm grip of the timeline for how things occur after arrival on a fiance visa if you are expecting her to be able to work a few months after arrival.

 

It is all doable as DYI.   And if you think the fees are high now be grateful they didn't increase to cover actual costs.

Well, I'm referring now to the green card for her and her son and her work permit, along with whatever else I have to do.  I will try to do these things on my own.  As for the I-129, thats long been done and her interview is in a couple of weeks.