Making friends

[germangel 0]

I think that even when people are the same age as me, they just seem like they aren't.

At work and some at college, there are people my age, but they all seem more immature than my friends and me.

I think the social differences play a big role. People here just aren't as open to new, close friends. Some people call me their friend, but i wouldn't think of them that way.

[raphael7546 0]

I've been here 2yrs and I still don't have any friends. I don't really socialize with my co-workers, tho one of them has a daughter my little girtls age and they have started having play dates this past week while my daughter is visiting.

I wish I could meet someone to go shopping, movies , that sort of thing. I work full time & volunteer as well, but this State is so scared of outsiders. I live in a very religious state and unless your of their religious you may as well not be here. They won't give you the time of day.

I wish I could go home but that's not an option.

[Nancy2015 2]

People seem to be a lot more into family here than they are in Germany, too.

I think you nailed it. Americans strike me as "family people" - a lot of people here tend to be closer with their relatives than friends. Where I'm from, and in my own case, it was the other way around - I was (and to some extent, I still am) much, much closer with my friends than with my family. I never even talked to my cousins (although we're the same age!), unless it was one of those boring family gatherings, like grandma's birthday or something equally uninteresting But I spent all the time I could with my friends - and we all were very open to making new friends, all the time. Cool folks were always welcome in our circle

I don't know - maybe people really are not that open here, maybe it's just me and I should try harder.

On that note... anyone in Petaluma, CA, and want to be my friend?

Echomyst, I'm from SF South Bay - far from Petaluma, but PM me if you want!

[Magnolia31 0]

hi everyone,

I just wanted to see how most of you make new friends here in the US.

I am a very outgoing person, and have "friends" at work, and of course my hubbie's friends.

But what I miss is a really good friend to hang out with, talk with, share stories with and all that.

I had very great friends at home, and never had problems meeting new people.

Is it just the different mentality here? I am having a really hard time building a serious friendship

Too bad you're not in my area! I see you're from Schweinfurt - I just came from Vilseck! Not too far away.

[Magnolia31 0]

I mostly met my friends thru work too and was invited over or they came to our house BUT it was not like back in germany

Some also use the church to meet some new people and friends or like mentioned before met alot of really nice people on MYSPACE.com

Try if you find some german people in your location, thats what I did and was suprised how many I found

Hey! I just wanted to say that this is my second green card too. I left Texas in 2002

[jundp 191]

Oh gosh, I know. I'm so tired of people asking me about WWII. I was not even born until about 40 years later.

Or when I get snotty after hearing one too many clichés, I just don't want to be called a Nazi.

It's not even remotely funny!! So yeah, they all want to know all this "#######" instead of asking important questions like "Do you have a hard time here sometimes with everything being different?" or "Do you want me to show you some things you can do around here?" or anything like that.

@Germanangel, I've gotten remarks from people about my fiance similar to this. It's really annoying. One of my best friends (for 16 years) is also German and we've talked a great deal about it. Sometimes Americans have a weird idea of what is socially acceptable conversation. And I'm American :-)

As for the rest of the posters, I am the USC and I understand how you feel too. I am originally from New Orleans, have been in Seattle for 6 years. I love it here, but I really only have 3 good friends. One of them moved up from the south a couple of years after I did (we went to college together) and the other 2 are from work. I find that I am a bit older and have a much different lifestyle from the parents at my daughter's school, and though my coworkers are great, we don't have a lot in common beyond our work. Of my closest friends, 2 still live in the south and one lives in Germany. There are very few people in Seattle that I spend quality time with. I do feel lucky to have a few close and very dear friends, but it is hard, once you are out of college, to make lasting friendships, I think.

[germangel 0]

@Magnolia: It's really too bad all the Germans are so spread out in the states. I bet we'd get along great!

@jundp: yeah, it is kind of a different humor. And I don't think all humor in that direction is bad, I could laugh my butt off at that scene in rat race when they go to the "Barbie Museum" and all that. I just don't think that calling me a Nazi when I try to get my point across is a good way of dealing with problems in the office.

[Leney 0]

hehe hell I'm the USC and I find it difficult to make friends in the states I think living in the UK warped my language and sense of humour I'm not a girly girl either so I don't get on well with fussy women or the party crowd. My hubby is and has been my best friend for the last 4 years. Other than that, we just hang out with my brother and his family loads as my hubby and brother get on well...and enjoy killing groundhogs together (Boys!)

[palilover 1]

Hi ….. this Nora

Are you Rhode island now…… if you are please don’t move I’m coming there soon….. a few month I hope … we can be friends if you like …..I’m from UK…. And my finace is in the navy I know how It would be because he will work day and night ….

So what do you think

yes cool;) ANd I'm from Boston, not so far!

You know, I'm the USC and I have the same problem.

I lived in Mexico for 5 years and then moved back to the area I'm originally from. Most everyone had moved awat except for one friend from school. I've found it REALLY hard to connect to new people and make new friendships, which depresses the heck out of me. Having been away from Rhode Island for so long and coming back it really strikes me how looooong these connections are. Most people's circles are of co-workers or people that they've known for years. People are very settled.

It took some time for me to make friends in Mexico as well, and I often felt lonely, but then as I was preparing to leave, I looked around and realized what a phenomenal network of fun, good people I had around me. It built up very slowly, but it did build up. Possibly because the people I knew were more transient and open to forming new relationships.

I'd like to move to another part of the country, but I'm afraid that I'll find the same difficulties with connecting with people.

[Anna Sif 0]

hey, great topic!

I totally agree with all of you.

I've been here for over 3 months and I have to say I'm actually more extroverted here than I was back home in a social environment. I really like that everyone is very friendly here, and they seem geniunely interested in my experiences as an expat or how things are where I'm from... but that's about it. It doesn't go below the surface. You might meet someone at a party, hit it off, but the "we should get together sometime" suggestion never happens. In Europe if you say that, you mean it. Here it's just an expression, it seems.

Even people who I knew before moving who were sort of friends and seemed so excited about me being closer, now that I'm actually here, it seems they never have time to hang out!

Meeting people is not a problem, making real friendships is. I miss having my girlfriends I can talk to or just call and meet for a beer.

But I guess it'll take time to build new friendships and have that kind of relationships here.

[Harmony2 0]

Great thread..

In four weeks I move to Los Angeles). Is anybody out there who is interested in having a coffee, shopping, watching a movie or just to sit together and have fun? I´m 41 years old and have two kids.

My fiance is american and I´m from germany( Bad Zwischenahn, Oldenburg). Sorry about my english, I have to practise it.. I´m so happy, that I found this thread, because I have to leave my friends here, and I know that I will miss to go to the cinema with them or have a cocktail or go shopping and buy some stuff...or...or...or..

[germangel 0]

Isn't that just crazy, how we all have the same experience? Meeting people is easy, but then they never actually mean it when they say "we should hangout" or even when they say "I will call you if we do something" but then you hear all about their great time and are wondering "I could've been there, if you had called me like you promised you would"

[sereia 0]

Great thread..

In four weeks I move to Los Angeles). Is anybody out there who is interested in having a coffee, shopping, watching a movie or just to sit together and have fun? I´m 41 years old and have two kids.

My fiance is american and I´m from germany( Bad Zwischenahn, Oldenburg). Sorry about my english, I have to practise it.. I´m so happy, that I found this thread, because I have to leave my friends here, and I know that I will miss to go to the cinema with them or have a cocktail or go shopping and buy some stuff...or...or...or..

i just moved to the area too (but am originally from so cal) if you don't mind hanging out with a 20 something year old with no kids, i'm up for showing you around sometime PM me if you do! i know what its like to be in a new place and want a girlfriend!

[TenderCat 0]

Friends to me, have been hard to come by. In the 2 1/2 yrs ive been here, i have only made 2 friends. One left for Boston ( im in ohio ) and the other one just had a child, so its like i dont exist anymore. Oh well, i do keep in contact with friends from back home, n thats all i need.

[Harmony2 0]

Great thread..

In four weeks I move to Los Angeles). Is anybody out there who is interested in having a coffee, shopping, watching a movie or just to sit together and have fun? I´m 41 years old and have two kids.

My fiance is american and I´m from germany( Bad Zwischenahn, Oldenburg). Sorry about my english, I have to practise it.. I´m so happy, that I found this thread, because I have to leave my friends here, and I know that I will miss to go to the cinema with them or have a cocktail or go shopping and buy some stuff...or...or...or..

i just moved to the area too (but am originally from so cal) if you don't mind hanging out with a 20 something year old with no kids, i'm up for showing you around sometime PM me if you do! i know what its like to be in a new place and want a girlfriend!

Hi, I´ve sent you a pm with my email.