Sponsored Spouse Move to the US alone and IR1 related questions

[Zoeeeeeee 797]

1 hour ago, LifeAbroad said:

I'm also starting a business here and at the early stage I would like to stay behind to get it going. My husband insists on moving.

This is the problem area - your husband has no rights to insist on moving to the US. He has no claim to living here - without you. Unless of course he has some special skills/career, where he could get a working visa, but he would need to sort all that out independently. 

 

However, if his only pathway to the US is via you, then without you, he has nothing. 

 

That last sentence felt great, like a self-help book 😆💕🙌. 

[LifeAbroad 8]

26 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Interesting indeed.  Particularly in light of choosing to have more children while living apart....

Actually we didn't plan the second one, just sort of happen. And to be honest with you, Germany has a great support system when it comes to raising kids,  even if you have to do it alone. Part of the reasons why I have asked my husband to reconsider waiting for a few years since you get money for your kids and education here is free. Kindergarden in the US depends on which state but i was paying $1200 a month/kid. 

[neca 166]

I want to clarify on domicile, just in the interest of information. When filing the petition, you have to prove that you either have domicile or that you intend to re-establish domicile upon your spouse's immigration. You are not required to live in the US during the visa process, but you absolutely have to intend to live in the US and enter either when or before your spouse emigrates from Germany.

 

It's much easier to prove domicile while living in the US, which is why many people choose to move back if they've been living abroad, especially if they can't successfully make the case that they intend to re-establish domicile. Because you are starting a business in Germany, you might have a hard time showing intent to re-establish domicile. You can do a search on this site for ways that others in similar positions to you have proven both domicile and intent to re-establish domicile, there's a lot of good information out there ✌️

 

Maybe your spouse could consider moving to another EU country until you're ready to move back? Ireland is English speaking, he could go there and pretend like he's in New England or something. The accents are kind of sort of not really at all similar...

Edited April 14, 2021 by neca

[LifeAbroad 8]

1 hour ago, iy2020 said:

Entering the US on a non-immigrant visa/VWP with the intent to adjust status is considered immigration fraud. AOS is legal when someone enters without intent and circumstances change, i.e., someone enters on a student visa and then meets and eventually marries a USC. AOS allows for the beneficiary to stay in the country without having to return to their country of origin to do consular processing.

Thank you, Jorgedig and Paul for this info,

 

Absolutely ignorance on my part about this. At least now I know to not go there!

[LifeAbroad 8]

31 minutes ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

This is the problem area - your husband has no rights to insist on moving to the US. He has no claim to living here - without you. Unless of course he has some special skills/career, where he could get a working visa, but he would need to sort all that out independently. 

 

However, if his only pathway to the US is via you, then without you, he has nothing. 

 

That last sentence felt great, like a self-help book 😆💕🙌. 

LOL....yes the last sentence was great. His argument is it's his American dream and he will be too old if we wait for 5 more years. of course he has to make me feel guilty about it. 

 

If i had known he's so insisting on this, i would have not moved to Germany last year and just petition for him while i still had my job in America. He thinks moving to America is a piece of cake 😑.

[LifeAbroad 8]

2 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

It's good you're researching. Tell him to join VJ so he can research too. For registering kids for school. Most of the time the school will not let you until you are actually moved. So they shouldn't ask for school registration, you can move mid year too. Schools are pretty good with enrolling kids mid year. I moved in May 08, the schools in Canada still had nearly two  months to go. The schools here had just a few weeks so they wouldn't register them at that point. Their old school did sent me their final report cards showing the next grade level. They weren't even looked at for the primary levels and the HS kids they just went by what I told them and a transcript to give them credit for he classes they already had. Kids are much more resilient to change then we are. 

good to know and thank your for the info. At least i'm not gonna be so stressed out about this until i actually can move back. 

[LifeAbroad 8]

15 minutes ago, neca said:

I want to clarify on domicile, just in the interest of information. When filing the petition, you have to prove that you either have domicile or that you intend to re-establish domicile upon your spouse's immigration. You are not required to live in the US during the visa process, but you absolutely have to intend to live in the US and enter either when or before your spouse emigrates from Germany.

 

It's much easier to prove domicile while living in the US, which is why many people choose to move back if they've been living abroad, especially if they can't successfully make the case that they intend to re-establish domicile. Because you are starting a business in Germany, you might have a hard time showing intent to re-establish domicile. You can do a search on this site for ways that others in similar positions to you have proven both domicile and intent to re-establish domicile, there's a lot of good information out there ✌️

 

Maybe your spouse could consider moving to another EU country until you're ready to move back? Ireland is English speaking, he could go there and pretend like he's in New England or something. The accents are kind of sort of not really at all similar...

Yess......the business would be a big question for the petition/interview, that's what im afraid too. And it means if i go ahead with the petition, i pretty much have to stop working on this.

 

He only wants to go to US, he think it's the number one country in the world. While i do love my country, Germany has it perks too when it comes to government support for children, healthcare and free education.

[neca 166]

5 minutes ago, LifeAbroad said:

And it means if i go ahead with the petition, i pretty much have to stop working on this.

I think there are enough people who manage to work on businesses remotely (especially during these times). If you get successful enough, there's no reason why you can't adapt, transfer the business over, or find some other compromise. I'm not a business person though, so...

 

7 minutes ago, LifeAbroad said:

He only wants to go to US, he think it's the number one country in the world.

My spouse is the same way When he finally got a TV it seems like he only watched American shows. I wonder if the lived experience will measure up to the hype of the Simpsons and Judge Judy 😄

 

8 minutes ago, LifeAbroad said:

Germany has it perks too when it comes to government support for children, healthcare and free education.

Feeling this.

[pushbrk 12,822]

1 hour ago, LifeAbroad said:

Yess......the business would be a big question for the petition/interview, that's what im afraid too. And it means if i go ahead with the petition, i pretty much have to stop working on this.

 

He only wants to go to US, he think it's the number one country in the world. While i do love my country, Germany has it perks too when it comes to government support for children, healthcare and free education.

Has your husband followed this discussion?  I suggest you ask him to read it all.  The two of you would need to be ready to live together in the US, or his dream will have to wait.  It really IS that simple, unless he has the kind of job skills to get a US Company to sponsor his work visa.  That's not an easy route now either.

[Chancy 6,241]

2 hours ago, neca said:

When filing the petition, you have to prove that you either have domicile or that you intend to re-establish domicile upon your spouse's immigration.

 

Minor correction -- proof of domicile is required only after the petition has been approved, not at petition filing.

 

Still, the petitioner must intend to live in the US and enter the country before or with the immigrant, as mentioned above.

 

[JFH 12,189]

3 hours ago, LifeAbroad said:

Actually we didn't plan the second one, just sort of happen. And to be honest with you, Germany has a great support system when it comes to raising kids,  even if you have to do it alone. Part of the reasons why I have asked my husband to reconsider waiting for a few years since you get money for your kids and education here is free. Kindergarden in the US depends on which state but i was paying $1200 a month/kid. 

But it's not just about you, is it? How will your children feel years down the line when they are old enough to understand, that their father left them because he fancied a life in America more than he wanted to be a permanent father figure in their lives? It's a horrible thought, knowing that your father abandoned you. I speak from experience. My father walked out on my mother and 5 children because he 'wanted to find himself and do his own thing'. At the time I was heartbroken, even though I was very young. Now as an adult I still cannot get my head round it. My father didn't want to be my father. It's the most horrible feeling. You and your husband may prefer to live apart (I do know of a couple that this arrangement works very well for but they have no children, not even a goldfish between them) but have either of you given any thought to what this is doing to your children? When my father left my mother had help from the state. The UK, like Germany, has a strong safety net for single mothers and we were housed, fed, clothed. But all the money in the world could not make up for the lost time with my father. I reconnected with him decades later, just as I was preparing to move here. Sadly I am still resentful and I don't think I can ever get over that, even though he has explained things to me that I was too young to understand at the time, things that went on 'behind the scenes' that I was not aware of. 

 

You also asked about citizenship. If your plan does go through, he will not be eligible under the 3-year rule as this requires an 'ongoing marital union'. He would be eligible under the 5-year rule but he will have to demonstrate that he makes regular child support-type payments. Immigration officials take a very dim view of immigrants who do not provide support for children left behind in foreign countries. 

[millefleur 5,046]

3 hours ago, LifeAbroad said:

If i had known he's so insisting on this, i would have not moved to Germany last year and just petition for him while i still had my job in America. He thinks moving to America is a piece of cake 😑.

It sounds to me like this is the crux of the problem: he thinks this is some easy peasy, doable thing where he can just move over here without you and that's that. Just explain it to him that this is a fantasy and a misconception that many people have about immigration to the US. It's filled with bureaucracy, red tape, fees, medical checks, requirements and you're guilty until proven innocent, meaning you have to establish the bona fides your marriage, relationship, your intentions and plans to move here, etc. It's not just hop on a plane and now you're a citizen merely because you have a US spouse. If he needs to hear it straight from a pro and not just randos on the internet (although VJ is a great source in and of itself!), do a free consultation with am immigration lawyer and they will explain it all.

 

2 hours ago, LifeAbroad said:

He only wants to go to US, he think it's the number one country in the world. While i do love my country, Germany has it perks too when it comes to government support for children, healthcare and free education.

Sounds like he's being naive here. Yes, the US can have a lot of offer depending on what you're looking for but it also has drawbacks, especially when compared to a Western European country like Germany. For what it's worth, one my my American friends struggled for years to break into the tech industry here in the US (even on the West Coast where it's the tech hub) and he ended up finding his breakthrough job in tech in Germany. 😄 So, I personally know an American guy who moved to Germany with his American wife because Germany had better job opportunities. There may be opportunity right there in his own backyard (he's an EU citizen, can literally live/work anywhere in the EU) and he just isn't looking hard enough.

Edited April 15, 2021 by millefleur

[igoyougoduke 1,650]

3 hours ago, LifeAbroad said:

Yess......the business would be a big question for the petition/interview, that's what im afraid too. And it means if i go ahead with the petition, i pretty much have to stop working on this.

 

He only wants to go to US, he think it's the number one country in the world. While i do love my country, Germany has it perks too when it comes to government support for children, healthcare and free education.

 

He can always apply for a work visa like H1b if he is a skilled employee. The lottery is open right now and if gets H1b visa approved he might be able to enter US in October if COVID allows those visa categories  to enter.

[Kai G. Llewellyn 832]

To me the fact that he's more interested in going to the US than being with you and caring for the kids, and thinking that you are his ticket there is setting off alarm bells in my head. I don't really want to pass judgement beyond that because he could be just that you two jive well with a loose relationship, and that's fine if that works for you and I know of many who prefer that. Though I'll echo others and say that the kids needs and upbringing should be central here and be kept front and center.

 

However, what you could do is file the I-130 petition and let it get approved and just keep it alive by logging into the NVC CEAC once a year. He can't use an approved petition to go out to the US on his own as you'd still need to file the Affidavit of Support and prove US domicile, but what it does do is significantly reduce the waiting time for when you are both ready to return to the US if that's what you want to do down the line. The I-130 step is arguably the most lengthy part of the process...although that wasn't in my case, it is the case for the majority of them from Europe.  CBP might give him some additional scrutiny when attempting to visit because of the approved I-130 but so long as he demonstrates his ties to Germany he shouldn't have too much trouble gaining admission, especially if you're still in Germany at the time.

 

If he's dead set on moving out to the US then he should seek out employment in Germany that'll allow him to transfer over on an L-1 after a year's employment (think multinational corp), or try and gain a H-1B visa if eligible. When you're ready to move back it should be a simple matter of finalizing the IR-1 visa so he can obtain permanent status.

 

I definitely agree that what you should absolutely *not* to is try to prove US domicile when you have no intent to move back to the US, at best they'll give him a 221(g) and want you to move back, at worse they may consider it material misrepresentation. And even had he got to the US, the USCIS may have issues that there was zero marital union after he arrived if/when he applied for naturalization.

Edited April 15, 2021 by CanadaDude

[laylalex 7,284]

3 hours ago, LifeAbroad said:

We have been living apart on/off during our relationship/marriage due to work/obligations. I know sometimes it doesn't make sense to others but we actually get along much better when we both have our own space. And we make frequent visit once every 2-3 months across continents. 

I have talked to him maybe looking for a job in an American company and then transfer to branch in US, but he insist that i would be able to help him much faster. Investor would be too much of money for us right now.  Anyway thank you for your suggestion. I know it's up to us now to make a decision to hold off or not.

I don't judge you for making the choices you feel are right for your family and its dynamic. My husband's aunt lives apart from her life partner half the year -- she is in the UK, and he is in Canada part of the time -- and it works for them and their son. 

 

Unconventional lives can be hard to square with US immigration though, and you have to take that into account. My husband and I have joint checking and credit card accounts only for the purposes of immigration -- we have structured our finances to be separate as much as possible, but we understand this looks "weird" to USCIS so a couple of joint accounts it is. They are strictly for paying housing costs including furnishings, but we use them often enough that they are as genuine as they look. It's a hassle for us, but we want to sail on through. This is a minor hassle though and easily overcome.

 

You have a bigger problem: you have to be domiciled in the US and intend to make this your permanent home in order to sponsor his application. Your choices to live apart may work for you, but if they don't work for USCIS, it's you who has to bend, not them. If you are a square peg, you need to get ready to whittle yourself into a round one because that round hole isn't going to be receptive to something square.

 

I know what it's like to feel like you don't want to let your husband down when he has a big dream. You want to find a solution somehow that will make everything just right for him. But I think you may need to have a "come to Jesus" talk with him about the reality of him moving without you. 

 

You should also not downplay the importance of what you want here. You want to stay in Germany and start a business and raise your children in a community and school system you feel comfortable with. Why should you be the one to upend your life in a way that doesn't suit you? You also mentioned that you're sick of moving -- how do you know he won't get to America with you and your kids, and decide, nope, not here either, where are we going next? Where are you in all of this? Are you an enthusiastic partner in globetrotting or are you kind of just along for the ride even if it isn't what is best for you?

 

I mean it when I say I'm not judging your choices for living separately, but you really do need to think if moving back is right for you and your kids. Words like he's "pressuring" you and he "insists on moving" to the US might look like red flags to others. Good luck, and best wishes to you and your family in sorting this out.