Long distance relationships during Covid

[Chancy 6,242]

31 minutes ago, JeffDR said:

Non-official and non religious with no legal value or standing so I have to disagree with your assumption.

 

Unfortunately, it's not just an assumption -- there have been many actual cases reported here on VJ of K1 visas denied for unofficial ceremonies.  That's why I and others here point out this pitfall for other readers to learn and refrain from holding any ceremony prior to US entry.  Search the K1 forums for "too married for K1" or "ceremony AND denial".  Hopefully, it won't happen with your case.  But if your luck is extra bad and it does happen, a lawyer can't help you as there is no appeal for K1 denial.

 

[JeffDR 29]

4 hours ago, Chancy said:

 

Unfortunately, it's not just an assumption -- there have been many actual cases reported here on VJ of K1 visas denied for unofficial ceremonies.  That's why I and others here point out this pitfall for other readers to learn and refrain from holding any ceremony prior to US entry.  Search the K1 forums for "too married for K1" or "ceremony AND denial".  Hopefully, it won't happen with your case.  But if your luck is extra bad and it does happen, a lawyer can't help you as there is no appeal for K1 denial.

 

Maybe and if that is the case then we marry in Europe  and file for an I-130(CR1) - the government can’t keep me from marrying my fiancé .... 

[Chancy 6,242]

4 hours ago, JeffDR said:

Maybe and if that is the case then we marry in Europe  and file for an I-130(CR1) - the government can’t keep me from marrying my fiancé .... 

 

In those cases denied for suspicion of being married, that's exactly what the consul officer recommended.  "Need CR1 visa" or something to that effect.  It's not that the government wanted to keep the couples apart.  They just wanted to be absolutely sure that the couples were not pursuing K1 fraudulently.  As in, jumping the line of married couples wanting to enter the US, by faking their way through the previously-much-much-faster K1 route.

 

In any case, it's probably not something to worry about.  Like I said, you'd have to be extra unlucky for that to happen.  The warning is to dissuade other engaged couples thinking of doing an unofficial ceremony, so they can eliminate that small risk of denial due to being "too married for K1".

 

[Adventine 3,201]

15 hours ago, JeffDR said:

Non-official and non religious with no legal value or standing so I have to disagree with your assumption. Marriage in any country is not legal or official if not done in a court, religious venue, notary etc. and if the government is taking all this time for background check they will definitely see none of us is married anywhere. If they raise problems we hire an attorney LOL

 

Please do the VJ searches that @Chancy
suggested to see what happened to other posters who also thought unofficial ceremonies were perfectly acceptable during the K1 visa process. It only takes 1 stray social media post from one of your guests, or photo interpreted the wrong way, to lead the consular officers to believe that you are already married and therefore no longer qualified for the K1.

 

You could certainly hire a lawyer to fight that, but why risk the potential time and expense?

 

[JeffDR 29]

8 hours ago, Chancy said:

 

In those cases denied for suspicion of being married, that's exactly what the consul officer recommended.  "Need CR1 visa" or something to that effect.  It's not that the government wanted to keep the couples apart.  They just wanted to be absolutely sure that the couples were not pursuing K1 fraudulently.  As in, jumping the line of married couples wanting to enter the US, by faking their way through the previously-much-much-faster K1 route.

 

In any case, it's probably not something to worry about.  Like I said, you'd have to be extra unlucky for that to happen.  The warning is to dissuade other engaged couples thinking of doing an unofficial ceremony, so they can eliminate that small risk of denial due to being "too married for K1".

 

Understood but imagined the scenario where we already sleep and are currently “living together” elsewhere so we can be together while USCIs takes its sweet time to review our application? It’s like living as a couple already and I can prove that no one is jumping the line in my case, we are not in a hurry at all so much that I have been traveling back and forth between Brazil and the US since November of last year .... but I totally understand the potential “judgement” of a consular officer however I believe they should base their decisions on circumstantial evidence - as Americans we can petition our government & be heard

[Sharmarine 50]

I went to visit my partner in the U.S in January last year, for three weeks. The last time that we were together was at the airport in Orlando Florida, as I was leaving to return home to Australia, on 16th of February 2020. So it's been nearly 15 months. 

 

We never go a day without communicating with eachother on Facebook Messenger. It has been our lifeline and connection to eachother. This past year has been a most difficult time for us both (in regards to having to adjust and adapt to a much changed world). Our relationship stayed strong, yet the distance and time apart and the uncertainty of when we might be together again (along with personal life events) all had an effect on our mental health. Yet we were always there to support one another, to get eachother through the dark days. It has made our relationship stronger than it already was. I have not been able to visit him again, nor have him visit me, due to Australia's strict closed border policy. If all goes well at my interview soon and my visa is granted, I will have to apply for an exemption in order to be able to leave Australia. 

 

So how do we deal with the time apart?  One of the biggest and important things is to 'Still live life as normally as possible'. Try not to put our lives on hold, while we wait to be reunited. He has his job, I have my volunteer work. He has his own interests and daily life things that keep him busy, and I have mine. They all make for good conversation topics when we spend time together online, when we're either talking or video-chatting together. 

 

Some time ago I bought myself a big heavy book with over 1200 pages, about road trips in the USA. It has places to go according to each state, where to stay, things to do, where to eat etc. My partner suggested that I look through the book and make a list of places that I would like to eventually visit. Somehow I don't think that he quite realises yet just how much I want to see! 😄 Maybe that can be something for you to do as well?  Make a list of places that you would like to see, once you are with your partner again, and the kind of things you would like to do. It just might help you to look forward and take your mind off the present for awhile. Dream, plan, then live it 😊 

 

[Vicvic13 0]

On 4/13/2021 at 2:27 PM, Ellie__ said:

Hi guys! How are you dealing with your long distance with covid? Me and my boyfriend have been apart for a year already and I am feeling so drained, he's also in the military so I guess it gets a little more complicated. 😢  Hopefully we'll be able to reunite soon and all of this mess will come to an end.

Right now I go to her when ever I getbthe chance Ive been going to Brazil 1 or 2 times a year to see my fiance and so were waiting for NVC as well 

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

On 4/14/2021 at 1:12 AM, Ellie__ said:

We don't know yet. He'll be in Europe for a while so I think we'll start doing it once he's back to the US.

He can apply from Europe if he wants to, just saying.    I'm military as well. 

[ebenf 16]

My now wife and I would go on movie dates. We'd both go see the same movie, around the same time on the weekends. She was in Vietnam, I in Dallas so it was roughly a 12 hour difference, so it was early morning movies for me and later night movies for her. We'd then both get popcorn and the same soda. You'd be surprised how much something like that can make you feel connected. Perhaps it's not a movie, if that's even possible during COVID, and most people do things with their partners where you're with each other and not interacting. Doing those things will help reduce that feeling.

 

 

[Robin Leonard 2]

My fiance and I have been seperated physically for almost 2 years, We will finally be able to see each other next month nearly 2 years since 2019. We have copped by everyday communication  and keeping busy with our everyday lives and keeping the faith knowing that this too shall pass. More to come on our journey this pause was just part of the journey. 

[demarvell 4]

Apart since October 2019. Partially because her government can't get their heads out of their butts! And then this Covid plandemic.                                       

[SpartyPNW 8]

On 4/13/2021 at 11:27 AM, Ellie__ said:

Hi guys! How are you dealing with your long distance with covid? Me and my boyfriend have been apart for a year already and I am feeling so drained, he's also in the military so I guess it gets a little more complicated. 😢  Hopefully we'll be able to reunite soon and all of this mess will come to an end.

Thanks to modern technology, we watch a movie together. We just have each other on video and start the movie at the same time. Obviously not great but it’s something. 

[Alex Prijn 29]

On 5/24/2021 at 3:49 AM, SpartyPNW said:

Thanks to modern technology, we watch a movie together. We just have each other on video and start the movie at the same time. Obviously not great but it’s something. 

Yes, this is what we do too. And we read, knit and play videogames together. It's somewhat bareable this way. My wife left for the states at the end of November, so we've been 6 months apart now. I have good hopes, it won't be much more than 2 months from here on out.