Long distance relationships during Covid

[DP2018 12]

19 minutes ago, Ellie__ said:

Around April 2021  

Then do not worry. He will going to apply K1 soon and you will going to join him in this year.🙂

[Ontarkie 14,305]

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[TedsGirl 193]

On 4/13/2021 at 11:27 AM, Ellie__ said:

Hi guys! How are you dealing with your long distance with covid? Me and my boyfriend have been apart for a year already and I am feeling so drained, he's also in the military so I guess it gets a little more complicated. 😢  Hopefully we'll be able to reunite soon and all of this mess will come to an end.

(((CHOCOLATE HUGS))) 

 

I was able to meet and visit my online Love in January this year for the first time. We've been together since September 2020. He proposed the day before I left on my 8 day visit. We haven't been apart as long as you. I just want to return to him so we can get married and I can spend some time with him, before returning so he can file CR1/IR1. 

 

We Signal everyday and we live our lives, we know one day, we'll be together, most days are better than most, yet sometimes seeing him makes me cry. 

 

Gosh I miss him😔 

[TedsGirl 193]

Well so much for planning a wedding for next month or later, depending on my PR card renewal arrival. I see Canada has now been deemed a level 4 by the US travel state website. He couldn't come over as the PM banned US citizens from entering Canada, which made it possible for me to visit when I did. Yes. Very odd. 

 

Now I am sure I will not be welcome to visit any time soon😔💔 

[Cdnusagurl 22]

My husband and I have been physically apart for 6 months starting next month, due to covid. We lived together in Canada for 9 years which has made this entire thing even rougher. With that said, it's hard but we talk everyday and work keeps him super busy while I indulge in a lot of random hobbies to keep me from crying most days. On the brightside, we have a pretty firm end date in mind if everything goes well with his interview. So now we have that to look forward to. 🥰

[yvonme 124]

I can't say it is easy but we love each other very much. I work with a therapist who specializes in family and marriage and that has helped a lot. I haven't seen my Partner in over 400 days due to Australia being closed so we can't even meet up anywhere. Our K-1 took 7 months so we are relieved it'll be towards the end soon but it gets pretty dark some days. I take social media breaks, keep myself busy in both professional and educational avenues. I've focused on not only the relationship itself but I've also picked up different hobbies and self development sort of things (learning a new language, eating healther, losing weight, learning how to be a healthy spouse and a mature one at that etc). My hobbies have helped and having a full-time job does also. I can't envision my life without him. I can't say that "time flies" but time does keep going. It is what we do in that time that we hope to reflect on later and say "I'm glad i had a chance to achieve this before married life  "

 

I'm going to Belize for my last luxury solo vacation for my birthday. So yeah...traveling to open areas and staying vibrant helps my attitude...that and shopping..

[Sparkle Sparkle 914]

It s still very difficult ...but am sure after covid is over, we are not going to take it slow and we are not going to take it one step at a time

[Angela & Brendon 160]

It's never easy but not that I'm back with my now wife, it's the happiest I've ever been. Just work with the knowledge if you can get through this, you can get through anything. 

[GregandNatty 195]

On 4/13/2021 at 11:45 AM, Lucky Cat said:

My wife and I were apart for 13 months in pre-Covid times.  Separation is the norm for the immigration process.  It isn't fun, but it won't kill you.  Keep busy, and continue to stay in contact.

Being alone and apart is one thing.  Going through the COVID lockdowns + being separated was as entire new level of difficult.

In my state, we all had to work at home from March - First part of June.  I didn't see or interact with anyone except a trip to the store for food/supplies once or twice a week for 3 months.   This was an extremely dark time.   I was about 13 months without seeing my wife between back end of 2019 and until Dec 2020.

Directly to the OP question of how do you deal with it?   One day at a time....

 

 

Edited April 29, 2021 by GregandNatty

[top_secret 2,458]

We tried to meet for a vacation in Cancun in August 2020.  Mexican Immigration refused my wife entry and deported her on site without reason so we ended up going to Rio De Janeiro Brazil and had an awesome visit and spent time together there.  Then in December we visited Panama and then we married in Costa Rica and had an awesome time together there.  Now we are together again in Peru and having a just awesome time.  Finding countries that are willing to concurrently accept both Philippine and US travelers during the pandemic has been difficult, but not impossible.  Greece seems to have opened up a bit and looks fun for our next destination.

[KP0515 7]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have been separated from my love for almost 2 years and it's very hard. The best advice I got from another couple that's been through this is to try to find beauty in your life now. It may not be the way you want because your partner is not here, but if that's all you focus on you will get discouraged and depressed. Enjoy your hobbies, spend time with good friends, soak in the little things that you enjoy like your morning cup of coffee. It sounds hokey but finding joy in other things is so important when there's one aspect of your life (the separation) that is frustrating and beyond your control.

 

Take a break from the Facebook groups and even VisaJourney (sorry, y'all!) if you need to. It's a great place for collective support and advice but I think sometimes we also start to carry each other's immigration struggles or focus on our own to much when we spend too much time in these online communities. 

 

Lastly, if you can find creative ways to engage with your partner. I don't know what limitations exist with him being in the military, but my fiancé and I have a show we watch together, we read a book together on marriage and discussed it and sometimes we pick a recipe and cook it at the same time and then "have dinner" over the phone. Writing letters can be another fun one.

 

Best of luck to you, dear. I hope you are reunited with your loved one soon. 

 

Also, I saw in one of your comments that you are planning on applying for the K1 the next time you two are together. If I can give you my two cents, it might be worth it to at least start the prep work now. My fiancé and I decided not to wait til we were together to apply because with the border closures we had no idea when that would be. I (American fiancé) filled out all the forms and he scanned/emailed me his documents. Nine months later (with borders still closed) we think we made the right decision -- we would have lost a lot of time. The backlogs at USCIS and the State Dept. are growing longer, so it might be worth it to "get your spot in line." Of course I don't know all the details of your situation, so do what's right for you!

[David Mpoyi 8]

On 4/13/2021 at 2:27 PM, Ellie__ said:

Hi guys! How are you dealing with your long distance with covid? Me and my boyfriend have been apart for a year already and I am feeling so drained, he's also in the military so I guess it gets a little more complicated. 😢  Hopefully we'll be able to reunite soon and all of this mess will come to an end.

M’y fiancé and I were separated for 14 months and I can tell you it ain’t easy. I went thru all type of emotions, sadness, cries and all. I totally understand you. I’m still separated from him. We are waiting on our visa :( good luck and stay strong!!! 

[JeffDR 29]

On 4/13/2021 at 1:27 PM, Ellie__ said:

Hi guys! How are you dealing with your long distance with covid? Me and my boyfriend have been apart for a year already and I am feeling so drained, he's also in the military so I guess it gets a little more complicated. 😢  Hopefully we'll be able to reunite soon and all of this mess will come to an end.

My fiancé  and I decided to temporarily live in a 3rd country since I could not enter Europe with my US passport due to the travel ban. We got engaged and invited friends and family for a small ceremony. It’s amazing how much money the US loses with the delays caused by USCIS - good for 3rd countries that will host us and accept our dollars generating employment and revenue.

 

 

[Chancy 6,242]

1 hour ago, JeffDR said:

We got engaged and invited friends and family for a small ceremony.

 

A ceremony before getting a K1 visa?  Just want to point out for the benefit of other readers -- I strongly discourage K1 couples from holding any sort of ceremony before US entry with the K1 visa.  There are many reports here on VJ of K1 visa applications denied due to the consul officer suspecting a ceremony to be a wedding.  Don't risk your K1 process for such a reason.

 

Anyway, it's great that you and your fiance found a way to be together during these difficult times.

 

[JeffDR 29]

1 hour ago, Chancy said:

 

A ceremony before getting a K1 visa?  Just want to point out for the benefit of other readers -- I strongly discourage K1 couples from holding any sort of ceremony before US entry with the K1 visa.  There are many reports here on VJ of K1 visa applications denied due to the consul officer suspecting a ceremony to be a wedding.  Don't risk your K1 process for such a reason.

 

Anyway, it's great that you and your fiance found a way to be together during these difficult times.

 

Non-official and non religious with no legal value or standing so I have to disagree with your assumption. Marriage in any country is not legal or official if not done in a court, religious venue, notary etc. and if the government is taking all this time for background check they will definitely see none of us is married anywhere. If they raise problems we hire an attorney LOL