Is my online Moroccan boyfriend lying to me? (merged)

[JeanneAdil 6,606]

to be honest joining a dating site while suffering in a divorce makes you very vulnerable so be careful

you just met on dating site in January and this is April 6th??  too fast to think of him as a bf 

 

But is he lying as the post states?   Probably not 

He told you he is poor

He told you he is not educated

He ,  himself,  is warning you  and what he is saying to u,  is "don't expect anything from me"

Edited April 6, 2021 by JeanneAdil

[Mrs.Williams 34]

I would say.. If you are asking for our opinion on the situation. You already know the answer. 

Your gut feeling is telling you something is off. Go with that!! 

[JeanneAdil 6,606]

9 minutes ago, Annonymus said:

He said. I will do whatever you want at the end.... he told me I will do as you want. 

sounds like you made a decision

Advice:   when you visit Morocco ,  make sure you see some of that country like Essouria or Marachek and do things u would like  as the trip is not cheap so enjoy your time / there are beautiful beaches in Casablanca,  El Jidada and Agidar (and many others)  so guide yourself and a friend to some good times 

[Gorkhali 214]

Run faster than Usain bolt my friend. 

life is not that rosy. Words can be very rosy but real life is going to be tough. You recently went through divorce, imagine having to do so again. 

 

Red flag: 
He wants to marry you without meeting. 
He is unemployed and has no education but is willing to get money from family for a vacation. And his family is helping him. Seems so strange. Seems like an investment in GC. 

With him being of no education, life is going to be very hard for him when he comes to USA (if he ever does). This will affect relationship.

Do you understand his culture? What about his food & life style?

DR is great vacation spot. Go there with your girl friends and hang out by the beach and sip some margarita. Don't jump from one relation to another. Sometime you need time to think and understand what you want and plan your future. If you are hell bent on meeting him in DR, go ahead but don't just rush into marriage and visa process. Give plenty of time to learn about him, his culture, family. Also Casablanca is one of the toughest embassy. 

Lastly as one of our Vj Member (@Boiler) says .. tell him you are in so much in love with him that you want to move to his native land so that he doesn't have to leave his family. See his reaction and how he will convince that USA is where life is. 
 

[Annonymus 6]

21 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

to be honest joining a dating site while suffering in a divorce makes you very vulnerable so be careful

you just met on dating site in January and this is April 6th??  too fast to think of him as a bf 

 

But is he lying as the post states?   Probably not 

He told you he is poor

He told you he is not educated

He ,  himself,  is warning you  and what he is saying to u,  is "don't expect anything from me"

We are friends... we just basically get along good. He ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Still, I won’t be going there until June. April is too soooooon. I want to get to know him more before I go. And yes, I’m very vulnerable because of the divorce. He has helped me a lot when I was going through a divorce. My ex husband is acting so much better than before and it confuses me to what I want to do. The Moroccan guy “sounds nice” but he has so much to work on. I would like to meet him but I have my doubts as if he just want an American visa: I told him. We don’t have to marry or be together, he stopped talking about marriage but every so often he says he would like to have a wife like me, someone who cares for him. 

[Scott-Ilyn 82]

4 hours ago, Annonymus said:

He still told me he would marry me without knowing me (is that a red flag?)

This is a red flag.  If he marries you, his life will most likely get 100% better emotionally, financially, and physically.  He has everything to gain by coming to the US on your dime.  You will gain some things but it most likely will become a drain on you financially and emotionally.

4 hours ago, Annonymus said:

it’s really difficult for him to get a job there specially because he hasn’t finished high school

These are also red flags.  It would make me wonder why didn't he finish high school.  It shows perseverance to start something and finish something.  Having a job in Morocco would show you that he's willing to work in the USA.

 

5 hours ago, Annonymus said:

Also, my friends and I were going to go there together but at first he was okay with everything and then he insist that he wants me to go by myself. He say he would be more confortable to be just him and I

This is a HUGE red flag for me.  Anyone who loves you would realize that it is a BIG deal to come to another country.  So, he should not discourage you from bringing friends but rather he should encourage you to bring them so that you feel more comfortable and safe.

 

5 hours ago, Annonymus said:

Him and I have an agreement, he can come to usa and work and if things work out we will have a relationship. If not, we will stay friends.

Verbal agreements are fine but the amount of money, time, and effort to bring him here will drain you emotionally and financially.  So, please be very careful.

 

5 hours ago, Annonymus said:

Should I still go visit Morocco by myself?

I would not go alone.  Please be careful.

[Annonymus 6]

2 minutes ago, Gorkhali said:

Run faster than Usain bolt my friend. 

life is not that rosy. Words can be very rosy but real life is going to be tough. You recently went through divorce, imagine having to do so again. 

 

Red flag: 
He wants to marry you without meeting. 
He is unemployed and has no education but is willing to get money from family for a vacation. And his family is helping him. Seems so strange. Seems like an investment in GC. 

With him being of no education, life is going to be very hard for him when he comes to USA (if he ever does). This will affect relationship.

Do you understand his culture? What about his food & life style?

DR is great vacation spot. Go there with your girl friends and hang out by the beach and sip some margarita. Don't jump from one relation to another. Sometime you need time to think and understand what you want and plan your future. If you are hell bent on meeting him in DR, go ahead but don't just rush into marriage and visa process. Give plenty of time to learn about him, his culture, family. Also Casablanca is one of the toughest embassy. 

Lastly as one of our Vj Member (@Boiler) says .. tell him you are in so much in love with him that you want to move to his native land so that he doesn't have to leave his family. See his reaction and how he will convince that USA is where life is. 
 

Yes, we talked about it and he will get his high school diploma before anything else gets further along. He said I’m his motivation. I will try the family idea lol 

[mushroomspore 3,044]

10 minutes ago, Annonymus said:

We are friends... we just basically get along good. He ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Still, I won’t be going there until June. April is too soooooon. I want to get to know him more before I go. And yes, I’m very vulnerable because of the divorce. He has helped me a lot when I was going through a divorce. My ex husband is acting so much better than before and it confuses me to what I want to do. The Moroccan guy “sounds nice” but he has so much to work on. I would like to meet him but I have my doubts as if he just want an American visa: I told him. We don’t have to marry or be together, he stopped talking about marriage but every so often he says he would like to have a wife like me, someone who cares for him. 

I have to agree with everyone and say please please please (for the love of God - I'm not religious so you know it's serious if I'm trying to invoke God's name here) be careful and proceed with EXTREME caution. If/When you do go meet up with him (wherever it is), PLEASE ensure you do have a friend with you. The things he's said ("I don't want you traveling with a friend", "I'd marry you even if I didn't know") just scream, "Suspicious".

 

Also, be aware that many families encourage fraudulent relationships and marriages to US citizens so that at least one of their family members can go to the US. I'm not saying that every family does this, but it is common (especially in certain regions) and something to be aware of.

Edited April 6, 2021 by mushroomspore

[neca 166]

Adding another vote to the "ask if he'd be cool with you moving there" scenario.

 

Love means love regardless of geography, and should reflect as much.

[JonSeattle 202]

5 hours ago, Annonymus said:

he insist that he wants me to go by myself. 

Ghost him.

 

 

[Beth & Achraf 328]

5 hours ago, Annonymus said:

Hello everyone,

 

I met a mwondeful Moroccan guy in a dating site back in January. He is 25 and I’m 33 .  I went into that site because I was going through a divorce and I needed someone to talk to. He helped me a lot, listened to me and made me feel a lot better about myself.  We started of playing and joking for like around 2 weeks to a month. Then as we started sharing pictures of each other and he told me... I have a heart full of love but not money (LOL) at the moment I took it as a joke. But as We kept talking I realized what he said. He meant it, it’s really difficult for him to get a job there specially because he hasn’t finished high school. He told me I’m his motivation and that he will now get it for me so we can have a better life together. I did tell him at one point that I could visit him so he can get an invite for a visa. He still told me he would marry me without knowing me (is that a red flag?). Also, my friends and I were going to go there together but at first he was okay with everything and then he insist that he wants me to go by myself. He say he would be more confortable to be just him and I. Him and I have an agreement, he can come to usa and work and if things work out we will have a relationship. If not, we will stay friends. Should I still go visit Morocco by myself? 

Im married to a Moroccan, and got very lucky, my husband is a very stand up guy, honest , hard worker , and honest with me&  I'm very close with his family and friends.

There are so many bad apples everywhere, not just Morocco.      Don't go into this blind,  people are 2 different people on internet and then off the internet.

Getting married 1st trip is a red flag especially when beneficiary is from a MENA country.

 

Don't travel alone anywhere, not just Morocco, even if England, or some other country, don't travel alone.!How is he about meeting his family via internet? or his friends?     

 

When they want you alone there, to me that's a big red flag.

 

Be careful, eyes open, heart shut for now.

 

 

[.yana 598]

13 minutes ago, Annonymus said:

The Moroccan guy “sounds nice” but he has so much to work on. 

Not the same but my mom is a manipulator and created a very toxic environment for me when we were living together. I was miserable.

Now that we live an ocean apart - she "sounds very nice" over the phone too.

 

Long-distance and in-person relationship are different even when people have already met. But in your case - sounds like he is trying very hard to make a nice first impression to get you to meet him. 

[Annonymus 6]

3 minutes ago, mushroomspore said:

I have to agree with everyone and say please please please (for the love of God - I'm not religious so you know it's serious if I'm trying to invoke God's name here) be careful and proceed with EXTREME caution. If/When you do go meet up with him (wherever it is), PLEASE ensure you do have a friend with you. The things he's said ("I don't want you traveling with a friend", "I'd marry you even if I didn't know") just scream, "Suspicious".

 

Also, be aware that many families encourage fraudulent relationships and marriages to US citizens so that at least one of their family members can go to the US. I'm not saying that every family does this, but it is common (especially in certain regions) and something to be aware of.

Yes. He always uses to tell me he wants my divorce to finalize completely before he meets me. Which is why we are not meeting until June. Then he always say... I want you as a wife and ask me if I want to meet his family. So I ask, how can you marry a stranger? You can’t love through the internet? It’s impossible! He said, I don’t know why or how but i feel that I could marry you. I just like the fact that you care for me. Still, we agreed in no marriage until we meet. He has agreed too, we will meet and see how things work, and That we will not marry if we don’t get along or don’t like each other. I ask him today to show me more about himself. He showed me picture or his father and brother. Is that a good sign? He also said he will call me more often to make me feel more comfortable with him. Most of the times we text and talk over the phone only sometimes. And only one time video call.

[Gorkhali 214]

Well you seem to have made up mind. 

Here are few things:

1. Dont marry or commit to marry in 1st visit?
2. meet his friends and family. Spend time with them 
3. See how he treats his family and friends and other people. 

Remember he cant get any other visa other than Spouse visa. Which means you have to pay for a boat load money and go through the painful process and it is not an easy process and not for faint hearted. 
 

[JeanneAdil 6,606]

Not wanting u to bring a friend to Morocco is because he would like u to stay with him and parents (separate sleeping , of course) and being poor , it is hard to feed an extra person let alone 2.   so,  that issue can be explained easy   and many have to wash clothes by hand and hang to dry so it is hard to make 2 comfortable

July will be hot so prepare to wear light clothing but do not embarras yourself in front of his family by baring your arms or legs , smoking or taking in alcohol

and religions are not an issued as a Moroccan man can marry Christain or Jewish woman 

Just note how he reacts to the women in the family and how people in his town react to him