I want to go home :(

[athena_ny 1]

You sound like you don't have a whole lot going on except waiting for your husband to get home.

That would stand a reasonable chance of leading to depression even if you hadn't just packed up and moved to a new country. Combined with that, no wonder you're feeling down.

So, you're in NYC, right? Good place to be if you don't have a car and are looking for things to do. So, what sort of things do you like to do? Any hobbies? Sports that you like to play? Languages or crafts you've wanted to learn, or things you've always wanted to do but never had time? There's always things going on. Public talks at the libraries and universities. Get to know the subway system so you don't feel trapped.

But I think the key is to get out of the house and occupy your mind a bit.

She is in Albany. A good 2.5-3 hours north of NYC. Not a good place to be if you don't have a car and are looking for things to do. Doable, but not easy.

[Stand_By_Me_Babe 0]

Hi, J

ust wanted to say I am thinking about you and I'm sending lots of warm, fuzzy, cosy karma your way, just don't forget to catch it. And think of this,

"If opportunity doesn't knock then build a door and let yourself in!"

Jenni

[Cécy 44]

I've been here for almost a year now. Thankfully for me I came in 2005 with a J-1 visa and obtained a SSN & driving license. I'm not sure what I would do without it, even though my fiancé has to take the car to work most of the time, when I have it, it allows me a bit of freedom.

I'm getting criticized by my family who thinks I'm living in a bubble Like we have a choice right?

There are all those steps we need to overcome to be able to be members of the society.

I recently found out that I could volunteer legally, and i'm taking steps to be involved in the community as I know the AOS will take a while and I won't be able to work for a few months or so.

The past months haven't always been easy, there are times when I feel so useless. I can't bring any money home, I don't get to meet new people all that much and it's just so frustrating.

I try to keep busy between taking care of the house, spending way too much time online and reading. It's not much but it helps. I look forward to volunteer, someone here posted a website, maybe you should check if there is something in your area: http://www.volunteermatch.org/

Talk to your husband about getting a bicycle, there is no need to carry a license for that one and hopefully you can get around more and meet others.

I wish you good luck and faith in your future in the insane journey to be a LPR. Hang on there girl!

[^KK^ 3]

Stick it out...it'll be okay.

[homesick_american 1]

Yeah, how does your husband feel, what does he say? Being homesick was inevitable but if the relationship is not good that is different. Do you have his support.

I have his support hes great but hes at work most of the time so i dont see him much. So im basically left to my own devices and its really not fun.

It sounds to me like you're dealing with a lot of frustrating stuff and some of your frustrations stem from the fact that you're not as free and mobile as you were back home. I think you should take care of the work/mobility issues first, then reassess in a few months.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Mandi,

This is indeed, not uncommon for recent immigrants. Most my students in Edmonton go through exactly the same thing. I usually 'push' them to do 3 things while their SIN (SSN in the US) etc etc etc is sorted out:

1.- Contact your ethnic association (Scottish Assoc. of NY or the like) and get to know folks from your country.

2.- Volunteer - i am sure you have a cause you're passionate about (I don't know, from Save the Panda to Street Kids to Battered Women to Animal Shelters). This gives you the double advantage of gaining US experience and ALWAYS looks nice in a resume. Also gives you a chance to meet people who share your passions!!!

3.- meetup.com as someone suggested is a super resource. You'd be amazed of the many groups that meet informally to talk about this and that.

Sending you good vibes, L.

[britbird 4]

Volunteering is the way forward.

Doesn't need to be shelters or kitty homes either, I volunteer at a National Park.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/bymsa/m160/c/opp1.html

Here's the volunteer match page for Albany, I betcha if you grab the phone book and look for charities and local government/museums etc you will find a lot of opportunities also.

Not having much to do is a pain at the time, but once you get a job etc you will look back and wonder what you were upset about (that is my feeling now).

Alternatively, take some classes. Photography, languages, crafts, there must be some community colleges near where you live.

If you can't drive, start on a bike. Cycling is great exercise also, and makes you feel happier.

The benefit to volunteering is that it gives you US references. Awesome all round.

[Dakine 26]

Scotland is a beautiful country

Edited July 3, 2007 by beckypua

[*JG* 2]

Hey

there guys just wondered if anyone has come this far and quit. I am really homesick and just really want to call it a day. I am not enjoying my life here in NY at all ive cried most of the time being here as i miss Scotland I have no friends and family here and hate feeling so trapped. I have been here 8 months and just feel nothing is changing. I have return flight in sept im very tempted to just go back home ive had enough of dealing with all the paper work and not being able to work or drive and have a life its making me really depressed. I have no freedom in the USA which is so ironic in the land of the free.

mandi

What you are feeling is absolutely normal. Andre felt the same way when he came here, though not very homesick.

You are so far along in the process, if you hang in there just a bit more, you will find it will get easier. I would hate for you to go back, only to find you really missed your husband and then couldn't travel back very easily to see him anymore.

[athena_ny 1]

Volunteering is the way forward.

Doesn't need to be shelters or kitty homes either, I volunteer at a National Park.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/bymsa/m160/c/opp1.html

Here's the volunteer match page for Albany, I betcha if you grab the phone book and look for charities and local government/museums etc you will find a lot of opportunities also.

Not having much to do is a pain at the time, but once you get a job etc you will look back and wonder what you were upset about (that is my feeling now).

Alternatively, take some classes. Photography, languages, crafts, there must be some community colleges near where you live.

If you can't drive, start on a bike. Cycling is great exercise also, and makes you feel happier.

The benefit to volunteering is that it gives you US references. Awesome all round.

I could help the OP a lot more with volunteer opportunities if I knew if she was really in Albany or where she was exactly located. I say I'm from Albany, but I'm from Castleton-on-Hudson (small town 20 minutes out). If you get outside of Albany/Troy/Schenectady, the transportation issue DOES become an issue. (Biking 20 miles...bad.) It's been a year since I've been back there, so I just gave examples of what I had done while I lived there. That page is helpful, but some of those places are more than an hour away from another - makes it look like there's tons while in her area there may be limited options. Especially once you get too far out into farm land.

There's Hudson Valley Community College, and Schenectady County CC. I'll always recommend HVCC over SCCC.

To the OP - I grew up in that area, and if you want to PM me with your location so I can help you find things that are really in your area that may be doable - like I said, you may live in Albany or may not, because everyone from the smaller towns says Albany - hell, I didn't even live in Albany County and I say I'm from Albany. I know those cities like the back of my hand (and miss them), so I'd love to help.

[mandiuk 0]

I live in Colonie on the border to albany.

mandi

[athena_ny 1]

I live in Colonie on the border to albany.

mandi

PM'd you everything I can think of at the moment, with applicable bus schedules and everything

[broma25 2]

I live in Colonie on the border to albany.

mandi

PM'd you everything I can think of at the moment, with applicable bus schedules and everything

Meow Mix that is so kind of you!!!

[athena_ny 1]

I live in Colonie on the border to albany.

mandi

PM'd you everything I can think of at the moment, with applicable bus schedules and everything

Meow Mix that is so kind of you!!!

Haha, it took me about an hour to type it all up. I don't mind, I miss the area a lot (never though I'd say that) so it made me think/feel like home. Anytime she needs anything - hell, if I lived there still, I'd give her a ride if she needed to go somewhere and I could do it, now that I know what it feels like.

[mandiuk 0]

thanks so much mow mix really really helped me. mx