I want to go home :(

[Mags 112]

You have to apply for a SSN within 76 days of arriving, otherwise you have to wait for your GC and get it afterwards.

[TracyTN 237]

fwaguy/Karly n Bruce - you're both right. I somehow managed to overlook where she said she'd been here for 8 months.

But it peeves me when people who have been here for 3 weeks or so on a K1 are told by idiot SSA workers that they're 'not eligible' to get a SSN.

[payxibka 10,045]

fwaguy/Karly n Bruce - you're both right. I somehow managed to overlook where she said she'd been here for 8 months.

But it peeves me when people who have been here for 3 weeks or so on a K1 are told by idiot SSA workers that they're 'not eligible' to get a SSN.

I agree we shouldn't have to know a person's job more than they do. However, when we have chosen to navigate the immigration process ourselves it is in our best interest to do so. Knowledge is King!

[Emancipation 2]

Hey

there guys just wondered if anyone has come this far and quit. I am really homesick and just really want to call it a day. I am not enjoying my life here in NY at all ive cried most of the time being here as i miss Scotland I have no friends and family here and hate feeling so trapped. I have been here 8 months and just feel nothing is changing. I have return flight in sept im very tempted to just go back home ive had enough of dealing with all the paper work and not being able to work or drive and have a life its making me really depressed. I have no freedom in the USA which is so ironic in the land of the free.

mandi

So sorry to hear this ... it is a huge change and being so far away from friends & family is very hard. Do you belong to a church, to some type of organization that can be a support for you in the US? Can any of your friends/family from home come to see you here? Have you ever talked about moving to Scotland together?

I just got home from my first visit back home (it's been 5 months). I loved being there, and seeing my family but I honestly said to hubby on the way back "my home is no longer there, my home is with you". I know my feelings for my old home have changed now. I love it, treasure my relationships but my place is here. I truly hope that you can find that peace.

[TracyTN 237]

fwaguy/Karly n Bruce - you're both right. I somehow managed to overlook where she said she'd been here for 8 months.

But it peeves me when people who have been here for 3 weeks or so on a K1 are told by idiot SSA workers that they're 'not eligible' to get a SSN.

I agree we shouldn't have to know a person's job more than they do. However, when we have chosen to navigate the immigration process ourselves it is in our best interest to do so. Knowledge is King!

Agreed - which is why I post that link whenever possible. I may not have known, either, if someone hadn't posted it way back when for me to find.

Sorry to the OP about going off topic. (Its all my fault for not reading more carefully!!)

[mandiuk 0]

The whole thing sucks they wouldnt even give me a SSN for medical insurance so i have no medical insurance either. No one seems to know what there doing at the SSN and its too late now to do anything about it. Cant say its been a pleasant experience ive hated every minute of it.

fwaguy/Karly n Bruce - you're both right. I somehow managed to overlook where she said she'd been here for 8 months.

But it peeves me when people who have been here for 3 weeks or so on a K1 are told by idiot SSA workers that they're 'not eligible' to get a SSN.

I agree we shouldn't have to know a person's job more than they do. However, when we have chosen to navigate the immigration process ourselves it is in our best interest to do so. Knowledge is King!

[Missbollinger 1]

Get an ITIN from the IRS office for tax purposes that way you can get added to bank accounts and added to medical insurance. When you get your SSN just notify them of the changes. Mandi it is frustrating and I spent years depressed because of it but as soon as I got my first EAD things changed. I got a car, a job a LIFE! DH and I are much happier now that I have an existance outside of our marriage. Now we just have to juggle our lives so we can spend time together! Hang in there Chicka!

[John & Annie 0]

As a thought, you might want to try meetup.com. it is a social network and you might find some groups of people that have similar interests as you.

Don't give up. It will not always be this way.

We have to wait to get Annie her License and one she got it, things lightened up.

John

PS, where in Scotland are you from?

[rebeccajo 14]

Yeah, how does your husband feel, what does he say? Being homesick was inevitable but if the relationship is not good that is different. Do you have his support.

I have his support hes great but hes at work most of the time so i dont see him much. So im basically left to my own devices and its really not fun.

I'm puzzled by this part of your post. Probably you're just upset and typing away frantically.

BUT.....much of life and marriage is not 'fun'. It's unfortunate but it's also reality. The reality is especially harsh when you've elected to move 5000 miles from home. It's a huge adjustment and I think it takes a lot of guts and fortitude. I admire my husband (and those I have met on here) who have managed the adjustment and come out on the other end okay.

Is your husband really at work 'most of the time'? Beyond a normal 40 hour work week? If so, maybe you can speak to him about cutting back on this a bit. You might need a long weekend together or a holiday to reconnect. There are days when it's hard to remember why we've all done this. A little quiet introspection might help you remember.

[Leney 0]

Oh hun, I know things seem so horrible right now. I know how restricted and annoyed my hubby feels at times (and I know how I felt when I was in the UK at times). Thankfully the PA countryside reminds him a lot of home, so when he's feeling down, we go out, ride around, or go for long hikes in the mountains on one of the trails. All I heard yesterday was how much he felt like he was back in Scotland and how happy he was, and it was so wonderful. Have it out with your man, get him to make the effort. Maybe I'm ultrasensative but I do everything I can for my hubby to make him feel at home, from using Paisley slang around the house for him or when making shopping lists, to making his favourites like tattie scones and big fry ups. Surely if your husband knows the extent of your feelings he would do more to make you feel at home.

I know nothing is like the real thing, and with everything that happened this past weekend it is easy to just want to go and be with your family, but having been in the exact opposite situation, being in Scotland, 6 months pregnant, and actually packing it in, coming back to the USA, and in retrospect making a decision that made somethings easier on me, and some things much much more difficult for our family - I know it's hard, but stick it out at least until you have your GC, just in case - you don't want to have to go through all of this again should you decide in a few years time you want to come back.

That's my penny's worth. My heart really goes out to you and I wish I could do something to help you. Don't ever hesitate to contact me if you need a shoulder.

Edited July 2, 2007 by Leney

[mandiuk 0]

Oh hun, I know things seem so horrible right now. I know how restricted and annoyed my hubby feels at times (and I know how I felt when I was in the UK at times). Thankfully the PA countryside reminds him a lot of home, so when he's feeling down, we go out, ride around, or go for long hikes in the mountains on one of the trails. All I heard yesterday was how much he felt like he was back in Scotland and how happy he was, and it was so wonderful. Have it out with your man, get him to make the effort. Maybe I'm ultrasensative but I do everything I can for my hubby to make him feel at home, from using Paisley slang around the house for him or when making shopping lists, to making his favourites like tattie scones and big fry ups. Surely if your husband knows the extent of your feelings he would do more to make you feel at home.

I know nothing is like the real thing, and with everything that happened this past weekend it is easy to just want to go and be with your family, but having been in the exact opposite situation, being in Scotland, 6 months pregnant, and actually packing it in, coming back to the USA, and in retrospect making a decision that made somethings easier on me, and some things much much more difficult for our family - I know it's hard, but stick it out at least until you have your GC, just in case - you don't want to have to go through all of this again should you decide in a few years time you want to come back.

That's my penny's worth. My heart really goes out to you and I wish I could do something to help you. Don't ever hesitate to contact me if you need a shoulder.

[mandiuk 0]

thanks leney and for all who asked im from Glasgow. Yes my husband is really at work all the time he got a new job that takes him away from home longer im not just having a bad day and typing frantically its really a fact. He is all i have here all his friends have moved away and and he doesnt have a big family.

Oh hun, I know things seem so horrible right now. I know how restricted and annoyed my hubby feels at times (and I know how I felt when I was in the UK at times). Thankfully the PA countryside reminds him a lot of home, so when he's feeling down, we go out, ride around, or go for long hikes in the mountains on one of the trails. All I heard yesterday was how much he felt like he was back in Scotland and how happy he was, and it was so wonderful. Have it out with your man, get him to make the effort. Maybe I'm ultrasensative but I do everything I can for my hubby to make him feel at home, from using Paisley slang around the house for him or when making shopping lists, to making his favourites like tattie scones and big fry ups. Surely if your husband knows the extent of your feelings he would do more to make you feel at home.

I know nothing is like the real thing, and with everything that happened this past weekend it is easy to just want to go and be with your family, but having been in the exact opposite situation, being in Scotland, 6 months pregnant, and actually packing it in, coming back to the USA, and in retrospect making a decision that made somethings easier on me, and some things much much more difficult for our family - I know it's hard, but stick it out at least until you have your GC, just in case - you don't want to have to go through all of this again should you decide in a few years time you want to come back.

That's my penny's worth. My heart really goes out to you and I wish I could do something to help you. Don't ever hesitate to contact me if you need a shoulder.

[Tinker 0]

Mandi, I'm not even down there yet and I'm worried about the same thing. Our house is out in the country and I'm not even sure if I'll be bringing my car with me.

If your in town, maybe go down to the local animal shelter or something and volunteer there. Volunteer anywhere, you'll at least have a real person to talk to face to face.

[Marilyn. 340]

it really sucked when I first moved here.. my hubby was working evenings/nights... anywhere from 12 to 15 hours

most of the day I spent by myself... I didn't have a car to go anywhere and it really wasn't a safe neighborhood to go walking around in.....

our weekends were usually ruined too because hubby would get home anywhere between 3 and 5 am Saturday morning and stay up for an hour or two and then sleep till about 3 or 4 pm... and the same thing would happen on Sunday....

but last August he got day shift and now he works from 6 am till about 3pm.. it is nice to have him home early and now our weekends are free and clear ...

It still sucks because I still don't have a car... and I am still stuck at home.....

hubby is working on getting started in a new and better career... so maybe sometime in the near future I will be able to get my own car

if you really love your hubby, I would stick it out.. yeah, it sucks but it probably will get a little better after awhile...

[Jamie76 0]

Just hang in there. I think if you weren't facing these problems, things would be a lot better for you. I don't know the specifics on why you could not get your ssn...if was because you waited too long or some other reason, but whatever the reason, it's done. Don't try to dwell on that too much. If you love your husband and he loves you and is being supportive, just hold on.

Sometimes things pop up that we can't account for. Although it seems major now, soon it will pass.