How did your spouse make you feel welcomed when you arrived?

[kaylahm23 16]

8 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

If I find my contributions to the many previous threads on this topic, I'll post them.

 

To the enthusiastic ideas already stated, I'll add some cautions:

  1.  Do not (do not!) overwhelm an introvert.  This time is stressful enough.

  2.  Feed (simply) and let sleep.  Everything else can wait.

  3.  The traveler might be ill upon arrival, so have some cough/cold medicine, aspirin, etc. on hand.

  4.  Consider that a clean house, room to unpack/move in, and no fanfare might be 100% appropriate.

 

If you envision a lifetime together, consider taking it easy at first, the adrenaline and excitement aside.

Thanks, I was really curious if people notice small things like clearing space and keeping it clean and if that kinda showed/expressed love in a way that tons of gifts would! So thank you for helping validate that!

[TBoneTX 45,304]

The little things can count the most.  Courtesy, respect, regard.  Actually, those are big things.

 

Gifts can include taking time for orientation trips after they've slept and rested.

Go to a store, let them observe, and answer their questions.

Walk around the block and let them point to things that are different, then you explain them.

This new culture of theirs is an overwhelming "elephant" that need not be eaten in one bite.

If you've visited their country, you know some of the differences.

Even if they've visited here, "living" the differences is far different from "visiting" them.

 

I found one of my previous posts that talks (in detail) about the days after immediate arrival, and perhaps the thoughts will help:

 

[TBoneTX 45,304]

Putting myself in the shoes of a new immigrant, I conclude that my chief thought would be:  "I'm dead tired, I'm hungry, I've really done it and left my country and family.  Do I belong here?  How will I fit in?  What's most important for me to learn if I'm to fit in?  I'm being bombarded with new sights, sounds, ways of functioning; how do I know what's significant to help me learn to fit in?"

 

The above relates to the general level of stress being faced.  The challenge for us is to raise the level of comfort to where it minimizes the stress and better enables the fitting-in.  The simplest first steps, as I'd pointed out, are food, sleep, closet space, and taking it easy during the first full day, and perhaps even letting the newcomer choose what to do, perhaps with gentle suggestions ("How about we stroll around the block so you can see where we live?  If you see something interesting, tell me about it").

 

And even newcomers from the U.K. and Canada will appreciate this kind of orientation.

 

Ideas respectfully submitted.

[Skyman 323]

8 hours ago, Siddsgal said:

what he’s most looking forward to is trying beef so im welcoming him to America by treating him to an overpriced McDonalds Big Mac meal at the airport😂. My husband is not a typical Indian in a lot of ways and one of those ways is that he hates spicy and Indian food so American food, particularly beef, is my welcome gift for him😂.

Somehow when I think of beef, McDonald's never pops into my head.  Funny.

[Skyman 323]

3 hours ago, kaylahm23 said:

Thanks, I was really curious if people notice small things like clearing space and keeping it clean and if that kinda showed/expressed love in a way that tons of gifts would! So thank you for helping validate that!

A lot of people might not notice but they would if you didn't. 

[Skyman 323]

Part of the fun may be in what you know about their country compared to the US and exploring those differences. My wife was shocked you could walk into a mall or store without a security guard to scan you or poke around in your purse/backpack to look for a gun. The availability of food and meat that didn't stink and the fact you could check out and pay without assistance was news for home.  When I moved here there were few stores that accepted credit cards and only now some stores are not requiring you to sign 2 receipts if your total is under about $20.

Edited April 6, 2021 by Skyman

[Siddsgal 80]

19 hours ago, Skyman said:

Somehow when I think of beef, McDonald's never pops into my head.  Funny.

As a gal that has spent her entire life on a dairy farm, me either😂😂. Hubby really wants to try a Big Mac tho so he’ll get his Big Mac, when we get home he’ll get his real beef lol

[TBoneTX 45,304]

38 minutes ago, Siddsgal said:

As a gal that has spent her entire life on a dairy farm, me either😂😂.

Which is why you're not beefing and sound totally uncowed about the Big Mac situation.

[Siddsgal 80]

1 hour ago, TBoneTX said:

Which is why you're not beefing and sound totally uncowed about the Big Mac situation.

We had smoked brisket for Easter and our sirloin you can cut with a butter knife, the only time I ever eat McDonald’s is when Im at the airport after getting back from spending a month in India without beef😂 

My husband sees all the good food we eat here, I carry his pixelated head around every day, I’m fairly confident he’ll feel the same way about McDonald’s as I do in no time lol.
I’m wore out from that 20 hour flight home & my husband never had flown before so im pretty sure we’ll both be perfectly fine with Ohare airport feeding him his welcome to US meal lol

[TBoneTX 45,304]

Burger King is better than McDonald's, and Wendy's better than either.

Twenty hours... egad.  I had 5.5 hours maximum in the same time zone or one hour's difference.

But back to the OP's thread now.  If McDonald's makes your immigrant happy, go for it!

[Villanelle 4,122]

Ugh. I have a love hate relationship with McDonalds. Not sure if everyone is aware but the McDonalds in the US is not the same as the Mcdonalds served everywhere else. Many countries have stricter requirements on food contents so while a large fry is a large fry the large fry served in America contains all kinds of preservatives and a combo of ingredients designed to get you hooked. US fries actually have an ingredient in it they also use in silly putty. YUM. But they put a lot of research into how to create a meal that will keep you coming back for more...

 

US fries have 14 ingredients. UK fries have 4. And its not just McDonalds. I read an article recently about how Subway was not allowed to sell sandwiches somewhere overseas as they determined the 'bread' did not meet their standards as 'bread'- it had too much sugar to be considered bread! Check out the book "Deconstructing the Twinkie"- its from 2007 but things have not gotten any better since IMO. 

 

The thing is though the combo of questionable ingredients they use here is mighty tasty! Many immigrants come to the US and even though they eat the same diet they did previously they gain a lot of weight. This is because what they are eating is not actually the same diet. 

 

Moving to a new country is hard. Many people struggle with depression and trying to adjust. Gaining a lot of weight during that time usually does not make the person feel better or more comfortable. Just be conscious of your diet and the foods you are encouraging them to embrace.

[Adventine 3,196]

And here I was wondering why none of the US McDonalds serve any rice meals ... /sarcasm

 

[kaylahm23 16]

1 hour ago, Villanelle said:

Ugh. I have a love hate relationship with McDonalds. Not sure if everyone is aware but the McDonalds in the US is not the same as the Mcdonalds served everywhere else. Many countries have stricter requirements on food contents so while a large fry is a large fry the large fry served in America contains all kinds of preservatives and a combo of ingredients designed to get you hooked. US fries actually have an ingredient in it they also use in silly putty. YUM. But they put a lot of research into how to create a meal that will keep you coming back for more...

 

US fries have 14 ingredients. UK fries have 4. And its not just McDonalds. I read an article recently about how Subway was not allowed to sell sandwiches somewhere overseas as they determined the 'bread' did not meet their standards as 'bread'- it had too much sugar to be considered bread! Check out the book "Deconstructing the Twinkie"- its from 2007 but things have not gotten any better since IMO. 

 

The thing is though the combo of questionable ingredients they use here is mighty tasty! Many immigrants come to the US and even though they eat the same diet they did previously they gain a lot of weight. This is because what they are eating is not actually the same diet. 

 

Moving to a new country is hard. Many people struggle with depression and trying to adjust. Gaining a lot of weight during that time usually does not make the person feel better or more comfortable. Just be conscious of your diet and the foods you are encouraging them to embrace.

I haven't eaten McDonald's in over 7 years cause I watched a Video in HS about how terrible it is for you! So that definitely won't his first meal. He is pure veg and I'm a pescatarian so more reasons we will stay away! 

[Bug&Bug 147]

Well the pandemic made things a bit akward for my arrival.

 

What was nice is he asked me to set up a list with everything I could think I would need and want.  From shampoo to coffee to a computer screen. When I arrived the house was stocked with everything, I had been added to his credit card and I could just drop the bags and went to sleep for who knows how long. 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Bug&Bug

[kaylahm23 16]

26 minutes ago, Bug&Bug said:

Well the pandemic made things a bit akward for my arrival.

 

What was nice is he asked me to set up a list with everything I could think I would need and want.  From shampoo to coffee to a computer screen. When I arrived the house was stocked with everything, I had been added to his credit card and I could just drop the bags and went to sleep for who knows how long. 

That's good! I suppose there are a ton of things he will need. He is super picky though so I'll let him choose.