AGE GAP!

[SalishSea 17,928]

9 hours ago, KayyWafflee said:

Hello, another question. I didn't ever think our age gap would be an issue until very recently when I kept seeing people in here mention it. How bad does an age gap affect your outcome? Age gaps aren't a weird thing in either of our families so it never occurred to either of us that it may be an issue seeing as we are in a legitimate relationship. Our age gap is 20 years on the dot. My mum and Step dad have an age gap of 29 years (His actually American who moved here to Australia nearly 20 years ago) and his been my step dad nearly my entire life. My fiancee's sister, She and her other half have an age gap of 14 years. So for us personally it never seemed weird. We are about to start out interview portion of our VISA process and its dawned on me it may be an issue.

We have only met once for 2 weeks in August 2019. We had 3 separate trips planed for 2020 (Tickets bought and paid for in April that I have proof of and proof of conversations about more visits in November and also Dec/Jan) that never came to be due to COVID. We have been friends for 3 years and dating for nearly 2. We have miles of video chat/conversations/facebook posts/twitter posts/plans (visits, wedding, house buying, getting pets, etc) spanning this entire time.

Im not going to lie, I am now very worried we may be denied based on our age gap alone. If anyone else has gone through this having had a large age gap, please let me know how it all went.

The issues around visa denials and age gaps, when it comes to US immigration, pertains to very specific countries and situations.

 

Australia is not one of them.  Good luck!

[bx624 3]

3 minutes ago, Lucky Cat said:

Seems it depends on the country/cultural norms.

That’s making me a little nervous now. The country is Jamaica,  so I’m not really sure on their feelings on that. 

[Etek&Ahududu 43]

8 minutes ago, bx624 said:

Hello all. I have a question about the age gap when it comes to the female being older. There is a sixteen age gap for me. Do they look it is the same as the male being older and the women younger? Thanks ! 

We had no issue with this. I am 18 years older than my husband (from Turkey), and it never even came up at his K-1 interview. We've been married 1.5 years now and have our AOS interview next week - not anticipating that it will come up there either. Good luck!

[bx624 3]

1 minute ago, Etek&Ahududu said:

We had no issue with this. I am 18 years older than my husband (from Turkey), and it never even came up at his K-1 interview. We've been married 1.5 years now and have our AOS interview next week - not anticipating that it will come up there either. Good luck!

That’s so good to hear!! That definitely gives me hope. Thanks and good luck next week!!

[JFH 12,190]

The denials we see where there is a significant age gap tend to follow a familiar pattern (and it's not the age gap alone that leads to the denial, but the age gap spawns other concerns that bend the cultural norm):

 

- female USC is considerably older than male beneficiary

- male beneficiary is from a MENA country, female USC is white

- male is Muslim, female is not

- female USC is often divorced

- woman is beyond child-bearing age, male is from a culture where having children is seen as a priority in life

- very short period of time from first communicating to meeting and to getting engaged

 

Think about what you have in common, not what differences you have. Think about the local cultural norms also. Is it 'normal' in your country for people with your age difference to marry?

 

Where we see denials it's because it is completely unusual for (using the above example) for a young Muslim man from a MENA country to marry a non-Muslim, woman who has been divorced and cannot give him children. 

 

If you wouldn't marry a local person who fits the description of the USC you intend to marry, it will raise red flags. 

[AD19 36]

37 minutes ago, JFH said:

The denials we see where there is a significant age gap tend to follow a familiar pattern (and it's not the age gap alone that leads to the denial, but the age gap spawns other concerns that bend the cultural norm):

 

- female USC is considerably older than male beneficiary

- male beneficiary is from a MENA country, female USC is white

- male is Muslim, female is not

- female USC is often divorced

- woman is beyond child-bearing age, male is from a culture where having children is seen as a priority in life

- very short period of time from first communicating to meeting and to getting engaged

 

Think about what you have in common, not what differences you have. Think about the local cultural norms also. Is it 'normal' in your country for people with your age difference to marry?

 

Where we see denials it's because it is completely unusual for (using the above example) for a young Muslim man from a MENA country to marry a non-Muslim, woman who has been divorced and cannot give him children. 

 

If you wouldn't marry a local person who fits the description of the USC you intend to marry, it will raise red flags. 

My wife USC is 19 years older than me. (both female) 
She is Asian , I am white. 
I am Muslim, she is not. 
She is beyond child-bearing age, I am from a culture where having children is seen as a priority in life and where being gay is not right.
We met online, dated for 6 months then she came to visit, been together for 2 weeks only, got engaged then and applied for k1. Only met once. 

So that's an answer. 
Age gap is NOT an issue as long as you have enough proof of genuine relationship. 

[JFH 12,190]

Just now, Aili & Dani said:

My wife USC is 19 years older than me. (both female) 
She is Asian , I am white. 
I am Muslim, she is not. 
She is beyond child-bearing age, I am from a culture where having children is seen as a priority in life and where being gay is not right.
We met online, dated for 6 months then she came to visit, been together for 2 weeks only, got engaged then and applied for k1. Only met once. 

So that's an answer. 
Age gap is NOT an issue as long as you have enough proof of genuine relationship. 

But you are not from a MENA country....that is the major one for age gap denials. All of the others can pretty much be overcome. 

 

Most international couples will have cultural differences. Almost all of us going through this were born and raised in a different country to our spouse, often speaking a different language. The key is how you overcome the differences. I once saw someone was denied due to a difference in education - the female USC had a PhD and the husband didn't finish high school and had been unemployed for most of his adult life. The officer didn't believe that an American career woman with a PhD and a high-flying job could possibly have anything in common with an unemployed man who didn't finish high school. Even if the beneficiary is from an English-speaking country there can be huge differences. I worried about that in our case. 

[iwir 337]

As long as you can show them you have bone fide relationship, I think you'll be just fine

[Cathi 5,771]

You cannot be denied based on age alone, that's discrimination.

I am 21 years older than my husband, we're different religion, I was divorced with children, we married on my first visit and and we have a few more so called "red flags" thrown in. We sailed through every stage of the process. If you have a bonafide relationship with evidence to back it up, don't be concerned about the age thing. Trust me.

[SalishSea 17,928]

2 hours ago, JFH said:

male beneficiary is from a MENA country, female USC is white

Or Nigeria, Ghana, etc.

[Cathi 5,771]

1 hour ago, JFH said:

But you are not from a MENA country....that is the major one for age gap denials. All of the others can pretty much be overcome. 

 

Most international couples will have cultural differences. Almost all of us going through this were born and raised in a different country to our spouse, often speaking a different language. The key is how you overcome the differences. I once saw someone was denied due to a difference in education - the female USC had a PhD and the husband didn't finish high school and had been unemployed for most of his adult life. The officer didn't believe that an American career woman with a PhD and a high-flying job could possibly have anything in common with an unemployed man who didn't finish high school. Even if the beneficiary is from an English-speaking country there can be huge differences. I worried about that in our case. 

My husband is from a MENA country and I'm 21 years older with a bunch of other so called red flags thrown in and we sailed through each and every stage, up to and including naturalization. We never even had any RFEs at any stage.

If couples have a bonafide relationship with the evidence to back it up, people have no reason to be afraid of denial. 

Edited March 9, 2021 by Cathi

[Skyman 327]

9 hours ago, payxibka said:

Adjustment of status is a much different process

True but there is still the interview.

[payxibka 10,045]

3 minutes ago, Skyman said:

True but there is still the interview.

Again,  different application,  different marital status, different evidence,  different expectations by the interviewer, etc....

 

FYI....  I have about half again more of an age gap than you and it was never even a topic of  discussion in our AOS interview 

[Regdkp 53]

13 hours ago, KayyWafflee said:

Hello, another question. I didn't ever think our age gap would be an issue until very recently when I kept seeing people in here mention it. How bad does an age gap affect your outcome? Age gaps aren't a weird thing in either of our families so it never occurred to either of us that it may be an issue seeing as we are in a legitimate relationship. Our age gap is 20 years on the dot. My mum and Step dad have an age gap of 29 years (His actually American who moved here to Australia nearly 20 years ago) and his been my step dad nearly my entire life. My fiancee's sister, She and her other half have an age gap of 14 years. So for us personally it never seemed weird. We are about to start out interview portion of our VISA process and its dawned on me it may be an issue.

We have only met once for 2 weeks in August 2019. We had 3 separate trips planed for 2020 (Tickets bought and paid for in April that I have proof of and proof of conversations about more visits in November and also Dec/Jan) that never came to be due to COVID. We have been friends for 3 years and dating for nearly 2. We have miles of video chat/conversations/facebook posts/twitter posts/plans (visits, wedding, house buying, getting pets, etc) spanning this entire time.

Im not going to lie, I am now very worried we may be denied based on our age gap alone. If anyone else has gone through this having had a large age gap, please let me know how it all went.

Don't worry about it. If you are asked, just give an honest answer. My husband was asked the question about the age gap, he is the USC, and 26 and 1/2 years older than me. He told the officer how he felt, and how he initiated the relationship and how the relationship come this far. Just say it as it is. I wasn't asked the same question, although I was ready for an answer.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

1 hour ago, Cathi said:

You cannot be denied based on age alone, that's discrimination.

I am 21 years older than my husband, we're different religion, I was divorced with children, we married on my first visit and and we have a few more so called "red flags" thrown in. We sailed through every stage of the process. If you have a bonafide relationship with evidence to back it up, don't be concerned about the age thing. Trust me.

That's the thing though most of the marriages with this type of issue don't have alot of evidence to back up their petition.