Prenup before K1 Visa marriage?

[JoBri 548]

On 3/3/2021 at 6:40 PM, JeanneAdil said:

it does but i always wondered why marry if you are already thinking of what happens when we divorce.  

Agreed

 

[daniel_and_lily 45]

16 minutes ago, JoBri said:

Agreed

 

You mean like why buy insurance when you don't plan to drive recklessly? 

[jim_julian 26]

Jeanne & Jo

 

Try this perspective .... I got raped by the California divorce court system as my first marriage ended.  The marriage ended after extended counseling with 3 different counselors, all chosen by my ex ... we were trying. At the time I had been working for about 45 years and was in my 60's.  I really wanted to get married again; living alone was a dismal prospect.  However, it was too late in life to start over if the California court system took half of my assets yet again.  My second wife and I discussed a pre-nup.  With my encouragement she got a lawyer who spoke her first language to advise her.  We basically agreed that what was in her country and what she earned here was hers and the same for me.  This last year, having had 14 years of a perfect marriage, I began moving all of my assets in the US into joint ownership.  I now have no doubt that this marriage is for the rest of our lives but I think it was prudent to take out some insurance for the first 10 years or so.

 

I very much agree with the analogy made by daniel_and_lilly in the post above.

[JoBri 548]

On 4/9/2021 at 11:41 PM, daniel_and_lily said:

You mean like why buy insurance when you don't plan to drive recklessly? 

Nope. Not like that at all. More like

 

  On 3/3/2021 at 6:40 PM, JeanneAdil said:

it does but i always wondered why marry if you are already thinking of what happens when we divorce.  

  Edited April 16, 2021 by JoBri

[JoBri 548]

Whatever people choose to do is their own business. I say go for it, whatever makes a person happy. But this thread just makes me all the more grateful for the one who chose to marry me.

[daniel_and_lily 45]

8 hours ago, JoBri said:

Nope. Not like that at all. More like

 

  On 3/3/2021 at 6:40 PM, JeanneAdil said:

it does but i always wondered why marry if you are already thinking of what happens when we divorce.  

 

 

Both involve having the foresight to recognize undesired outcomes without actually wanting them to happen. Our society finds it so reckless not to plan for such outcomes that it is illegal not to be prepared  in the case of insurance.

The connection here seems rather obvious.   I do realize that everyone likes to think they're better than average, but the fact is that most people are average by definition. So yes, the statistics in both divorce and car accidents apply to you as well. Hopefully that's clear enough to save you from having to wonder anymore. I'm not going to explain it further.

Edited April 17, 2021 by daniel_and_lily

[Bug&Bug 147]

On 4/16/2021 at 2:06 PM, JoBri said:

Whatever people choose to do is their own business. I say go for it, whatever makes a person happy. But this thread just makes me all the more grateful for the one who chose to marry me.

You have signed a contract saying what happens if you get divorced just the same as everyone. The difference is some people read the contract and some decide to make amendments before they sign it.

 

You didnt bother even reading it. 

Thats all there is to it.  

[Carpe Vinum 2,327]

On 4/16/2021 at 11:50 PM, daniel_and_lily said:

 

Both involve having the foresight to recognize undesired outcomes without actually wanting them to happen. Our society finds it so reckless not to plan for such outcomes that it is illegal not to be prepared  in the case of insurance.

The connection here seems rather obvious.   I do realize that everyone likes to think they're better than average, but the fact is that most people are average by definition. So yes, the statistics in both divorce and car accidents apply to you as well. Hopefully that's clear enough to save you from having to wonder anymore. I'm not going to explain it further.

People have a difficult time thinking logically when so much emotion is involved.  No judgement. I really never thought of getting a prenup. People should do what they are comfortable with.

[Skyman 327]

'Those who fail to plan, plan to fail."  However,  in the case of a pre-nup, it seems like planning to fail anyway. To each their own I guess but I don't think this would enter my mind unless the purpose was to protect others and not myself.  For example, if I had young children from a previous marriage and I wanted to make sure they were cared for regardless of my own relationship decisions then I could understand that.

[daniel_and_lily 45]

3 hours ago, boris64 said:

People have a difficult time thinking logically when so much emotion is involved.  No judgement. I really never thought of getting a prenup. People should do what they are comfortable with.

yes, I believe you are right. It sounded like some people just couldn't understand how someone could do a prenup. This was my attempt at explaining it. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by daniel_and_lily

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

On 3/3/2021 at 5:20 AM, melanie44 said:

what are your thoughts about having a pre nuptial agreement before the k1 marriage? 

Would talk to your spouse about it.  Talk and explain if they don't know what it is.  I brought it up to my wife (fiance at the time) about it and she felt that the relationship was a business at that point.  

 

I dont regret not getting us prenups, but sometimes I wonder if I shouldve done that.