Prenup before K1 Visa marriage?

[Mollie09 1,543]

I got prenups with both my marriages, it made the first divorce the simplest thing ever and there was no question for my second marriage considering we've both been married before. IMHO it's short sighted to get married without thinking about what happens if you divorce - if you don't divorce, great, it was a good exercise, if you do, it just saved you a lot of head- and heartache. Same thing with estate planning (except everybody dies) - you take your emotional hat off as much as possible and think about cold hard rational facts.

 

FYI, my first marriage ended in divorce before ROC and the prenup was not an issue at all for immigration.

[luckytxn 2,264]

I didn't worry about it as I knew that if she stuck around for 7 years or more she I thought more than entitled to half of everything. If we were going to have problems and stop being together for life I would have known by that time. So far we have been married 12 years last month and I have pretty much put all property in her name anyway so if I pass she would have little court actions. Any accounts by now also are in her name or she is the beneficiary. I keep all papers she would need and have explained to her what to do in case of an unfortunate passing.

[TBoneTX 45,260]

2 hours ago, luckytxn said:

the beneficiary

Good reminder that beneficiary designations (on accounts that allow them) are at least as important as are estate documents, and probably more so.

[luckytxn 2,264]

7 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Good reminder that beneficiary designations (on accounts that allow them) are at least as important as are estate documents, and probably more so.

It is very important to do this. The institutions can't do anything with accounts unless there is a beneficiary or an estate court order. My brother passed away last year who I was caregiving and He was supposed to make me beneficiary and failed to do so and I had to small estate affidavit and other things. Also very important to have files for this stuff and let someone know where. My brother failed to do so and it took me months to go through tons of papers to figure what was what. When I pass I don't want that happening to my wife at all and so have made it simple for her.

Edited March 5, 2021 by luckytxn

[laylalex 7,284]

8 minutes ago, luckytxn said:

It is very important to do this. The institutions can't do anything with accounts unless there is a beneficiary or an estate court order. My brother passed away last year who I was caregiving and He was supposed to make me beneficiary and failed to do so and I had to small estate affidavit and other things. Also very important to have files for this stuff and let someone know where. My brother failed to do so and it took me months to go through tons of papers to figure what was what. When I pass I don't want that happening to my wife at all and so have made it simple for her.

You're a great husband for thinking of your wife's peace of mind, though I suspect your wife already tells you that all the time.  

[luckytxn 2,264]

1 minute ago, laylalex said:

You're a great husband for thinking of your wife's peace of mind, though I suspect your wife already tells you that all the time.  

No she tends to never praise me or thank me for anything I do and I am ok with that. She and rightfully so expects it as a something I should be doing anyway and no thanks are needed. She will be grateful later when it is needed to be done. And no she doesn't think I am a great husband no matter how many times I tell her I am. She shows gratitude in other ways by doing things and getting me things she knows I like and want without asking her. Can't really ask for more that.

[TBoneTX 45,260]

20 minutes ago, luckytxn said:

very important to have files for this stuff and let someone know where

Oh, absolutely.  It's completely crucial to:

  -- have a "death drawer" in the filing cabinet

  -- update the account numbers, contact-people, etc. every few months (quarterly)

  -- review it with spouse and (if different) estate executor

  -- let at least one other person know where these files are

 

Also important to have a list of all digital accounts/subscriptions/websites so that the executor has access to these.  Texas Wills can include such provisions of authority.

 

And computer/phone access passwords!!!

Edited March 5, 2021 by TBoneTX

[luckytxn 2,264]

1 minute ago, TBoneTX said:

Oh, absolutely.  It's completely crucial to:

  -- have a "death drawer" in the filing cabinet

  -- update the account numbers, contact-people, etc. every few months (quarterly)

  -- review it with spouse and (if different) estate executor

  -- let at least one other person know where these files are

 

Also important to have a list of all digital accounts/subscriptions/websites so that the executor has access to these.  Texas Wills can include such provisions of authority.

Yes and to add to this as it is very important to understand that to not wait until you are older but that things can happen to one at any age. One never knows what will happen. Make sure that someone knows where this stuff is also and especially make sure that ones wishes are spelled out plainly and clearly. And you are right that in Texas this can be provided for in wills but make it easier for others in explaining on the steps needed to be done and where. I have the forms ready and each has where things need to be filed and how and each institutions ways and hows. It is very daunting to try to figure things out when in mourning and being overwhelmed. I am experienced in handling these things now as I have had to now 3 times in the past year alone and each time it is a pain.

[Boiler 45,451]

I use Lastpass to keep all my data and share the login with my next of kin.

[Neonred 3,562]

On 3/5/2021 at 12:07 PM, luckytxn said:

I didn't worry about it as I knew that if she stuck around for 7 years or more she I thought more than entitled to half of everything. If we were going to have problems and stop being together for life I would have known by that time. So far we have been married 12 years last month and I have pretty much put all property in her name anyway so if I pass she would have little court actions. Any accounts by now also are in her name or she is the beneficiary. I keep all papers she would need and have explained to her what to do in case of an unfortunate passing.

Congrats on the 12 years.  This June will make 15 years for me and my wife.  Can't believe we actually made it this far.

 

Reminds me of a friend, that used to be on VJ years ago, telling me about his very long drawn out divorce from his first wife.  It was taking years and every time he thought they were close to finishing she changed her mind and wanted something more.  He was waiting outside the judges chambers for one of the hearings reading an article in a law magazine that gave statistics about actual sentences served in his state.  As they entered court he looked at his wife and said " If I had killed you back then I'd be getting out of jail about now".  Wrong thing to say!   After getting ripped a new one and asked about threatening his wife he explained that he was just quoting the statistics in the magazine in the waiting area.  

[jim_julian 26]

I had a prenup with my Chinese-American wife.  I had just been through a California divorce where I was raped by my ex and her legal team.  At the time of my second marriage I was worried that I could not build again if a second divorce occurred.  I discussed carefully with my to be wife.  She got a lawyer who spoke Chinese to represent her.  We agreed on a prenup to include that our new house would be solely in my name and our condo in China would be in her name.  We have now been married for more than ten years.  I AM the happiest man in the world.  We recently have reversed all of this and now everything is owned jointly.  I think a prenup is not a bad idea in the beginning.  Get a lawyer and do it right.  Don't force her into anything.  I hope your long term results are the same as ours.

[daniel_and_lily 45]

On 3/3/2021 at 11:45 AM, mari04 said:

I would not waste time/money/trouble getting prenuptial agreement. The reason is that under the circumstances of K-1 it is unenforceable. I have seen this before on this website. The  problem is that if you divorce  (hopefully, not, but you are doing this for this specific circumstance), your fiancee (to be wife) can claim that she signed it under pressure while being on K-1 visa and in 99% cases this agreement will be disregarded by judge as the one entered under pressure. will not hurt but will not help on any way either, worst comes worst. 

Can you back this up by something more than a memory of having read it? It would be of help 

[daniel_and_lily 45]

On 3/3/2021 at 4:52 PM, Mike E said:

We signed one.  
 

My lawyer didn’t tell me that her signing under “duress” would make the contract unenforceable.  I’d ignore that legal wisdom from non lawyers on this thread and ask your own lawyer.  
 

 

 

Yes because we could always argue that anything that you sign that didn't work out the way you want was signed under duress. And why would it be duress? Because there is love involved? Because one party is afraid of loosing love? If that's the case, the whole marriage itself is subject to duress and everything that goes with it should be grounds for anullment. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by daniel_and_lily

[jim_julian 26]

Mari is wrong.  It is enforceable if both parties have had individual lawyers, fluent in their first language, representing them. 

[daniel_and_lily 45]

5 minutes ago, jim_julian said:

Mari is wrong.  It is enforceable if both parties have had individual lawyers, fluent in their first language, representing them. 

That's what the lawyers that I spoke with said as well. Thank you. 

 

As for how to mention it to your wife to be. Well it wasn't easy. Cultural difference and all. But I brought it up early and again later just to make sure there was no confusion.