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Posted
On 3/2/2021 at 8:59 AM, Frebeni said:

What would happen If my fiancé becomes pregnant during the k-1 visa process? Would it extend the process ? Would it still be the same ? I’m planning on meeting my fiancé  and we both want a child .. 

may nothing  happen of what you are hoping for.  I very much hope she won't get herself into this kind of  uncertain situation of having a baby with a stranger from another country while everything is still in the air. I feel sorry for the woman. You went too far in your dreams. Just come down to the earth and realize you have not met each other yet. Thinking about babies over online communication and confusing reality with virtual reality seems a little too immature and careless

 

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

I suggest being careful and making sure your fiancé and child have access to the best medical care possible during the whole process.  Trust me, things can happen even during the first month of pregnancy that can freak her and you out both, having to deal with that remotely is not desireable.

 

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted
On 3/2/2021 at 2:02 PM, carmel34 said:

This comment is what has prompted many to give the "slow down" advice, which I echo.  She wants "out" of Venezuela, we understand why, it is a mess there.  So spending more time to truly get to know her and her real motivation for wanting a serious relationship with you would prevent potential problems down the road if her desire for a relationship with you is to get out of her country.  We see many relationships based on that premise fall apart once the beneficiary arrives in the US and the stress of life happens.  So be very careful and take things slow.  How does she react when you ask if she would be okay with making a life together in Venezuela or another South American country?  Taking your time and making multiple visits to be together in person will help both of you find out if the virtual relationship has the potential to be a real one, and will avoid lots of heartache and pain in the future.  Not to mention that traveling right now is going to be difficult, especially to Venezuela or anywhere really, with the pandemic and restrictions.  Good luck!

I'll disagree with this.  The only true test is love.  Humans often have an over romanticized view of what love is, and how it happens.  The instinct to pair up and breed is something we are born with, and we tend to over-rationalize it with the rational mind, but in reality its the limbic system that is driving it.  The rational mind only exists to give the limbic system what it wants, which is survival and survival of the species.  In nature we have animals that fight each other in order to gain social status to mate, we have animals that try to be the most beautiful and most colorful in order to mate, and we have animals that build nests in order to be able to attract a mate.  Humans are NO different, we just tend to try and cover all this up with our own BS.  The is nothing wrong with being selective about candidates for mating based on how well of a provider they can be for the family and its children.  Nothing wrong with it at all.  Familiarity, common bonds, and the fulfillment of needs all go a long ways in triggering those feel good hormones in the brain that give us that warm and fuzzy feeling called "love".  Sometimes the deeds trigger the feelings, and sometimes the feelings trigger the deeds, it works both ways.  But love itself is really about commitment.  Love is not what you feel, its what you do.  My judge of character was a person has to be honest and trustworthy and of good character, and if someone is really in love with you they are pro-active in expressing that love, not merely "compliant".  The information needed to make a decision is like an empty bucket of water in your head.  It matters not if you fill it drop by drop or turn the hose on full blast and fill in in seconds, if being full is the information needed to make a proper informed decision, "time" matters not.  If its green lights all the way, go for it.  If your spidey senses are tingling that something is wrong, if you are worried, if you make yourself feel sick with stress concerned about the sincerity of any potential mate --- RUN. 

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Laos
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Posted

Me and my wife had a child while we were still getting our marriage certificate done In Her country and did not start our process in the USA after my son was born we just file for a crba and because he was born before we were actually married legally I just had to sign some paper wedlock my wife has a friend that was on a k1 visa and she had her interview before the kid got his crba so they did not issue a visa to her intell the kid was issue a crba that might be your issue only so make sure your fiance have all her documents from doctor check up to ultrasound and  birth certificate and photo of you with the kid after he or she is  born  it best to have it there then fly here as long as you can obtained a crba I did not do any dna test they did ask me when did we first meet for the first time and how nany time and with all the documents we had they did not dna test me and my son . Hope this give you a idea of what could happen we was gonna do k1 and my wife got pregnant so we decided to go cr1 to guarantee 💯 she will be issue a visa it only took me 10 month from submit ing to interview so maybe if you guys are planning on having a kid go the cr1 route instead.  

Posted

    Latin women want a strong man. They desire a man who can make tough decisions. Who'll say "no" to silly ideas.   Someone they can respect and be attracted to.  A man  who is grounded in reality.     Of course you are her ticket out of the worst living conditions  in south America.   Fair enough.    What would be her response be  if  you tell her you lost your job and money and  want to go live and work there?  

 Let's assume everything you say about her is true.  Once she's comfortably in America, how are you going to stack up against the other men she can get here?  Older wealthy men ?   Attractive co-workers  with swagger?  Even the best of people can forget and have a change of ideas when circumstances change. 

   If you go ahead with this thinking your relationship will ultimately fail.  Because quite frankly  you come across as desperate, and that's very unattractive to women.  She'll have the kid, who'll  take care of her emotional needs, be in America where she'll be rich (comparatively speaking), be young and have plenty of options for men more attractive than yourself. 

   I'm not saying this to be mean.  You seem like a responsible person in many regards.  You can improve your chances by taking charge of your emotions and slowing down. She's not going anywhere.   Improve your chances by saying  " amor let's wait on the baby, we need to spend time together first".    Travel there,  learn spanish and her culture.  Learn how to say "no" and "wait" .  You're going to need to learn to say those a lot ! Especially when you see her  entire family slowly dying of malnutrition and you're trying to decide between putting food on their table or gas in your car.       

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted
4 hours ago, Hoberchee said:

    Latin women want a strong man. They desire a man who can make tough decisions. Who'll say "no" to silly ideas.   Someone they can respect and be attracted to.  A man  who is grounded in reality.     Of course you are her ticket out of the worst living conditions  in south America.   Fair enough.    What would be her response be  if  you tell her you lost your job and money and  want to go live and work there?  

 Let's assume everything you say about her is true.  Once she's comfortably in America, how are you going to stack up against the other men she can get here?  Older wealthy men ?   Attractive co-workers  with swagger?  Even the best of people can forget and have a change of ideas when circumstances change. 

   If you go ahead with this thinking your relationship will ultimately fail.  Because quite frankly  you come across as desperate, and that's very unattractive to women.  She'll have the kid, who'll  take care of her emotional needs, be in America where she'll be rich (comparatively speaking), be young and have plenty of options for men more attractive than yourself. 

   I'm not saying this to be mean.  You seem like a responsible person in many regards.  You can improve your chances by taking charge of your emotions and slowing down. She's not going anywhere.   Improve your chances by saying  " amor let's wait on the baby, we need to spend time together first".    Travel there,  learn spanish and her culture.  Learn how to say "no" and "wait" .  You're going to need to learn to say those a lot ! Especially when you see her  entire family slowly dying of malnutrition and you're trying to decide between putting food on their table or gas in your car.       

There are over 7 billion people on this planet, and if you apply a formula to cover all of them, you are going to have a bad time.  Especially if you judge people from your personal experiences only, which is likely American.  

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Ireland
Timeline
Posted
On 3/3/2021 at 2:56 AM, TBoneTX said:

OP, you've gotten consistent and wise advice thus far.  Here's more, kindly meant, but in your face.

 

1.  I have incontrovertible personal knowledge that anyone in Venezuela who has any potential avenue to leave that country will say and do anything to take it.  Absolutely anything, including roping you in emotionally by intentionally not asking for money when the real payoff will be so very much bigger.

 

2.  Your plans and their timing will not get past a consular officer if the relationship makes it as far as the visa interview.  You lack "face time" (time together in person) to legitimatize this relationship.  Just picture a 221g or outright refusal of the visa when your girlfriend has a newborn infant that you're many miles from, or she's 99.44% pregnant and you're helpless to react because of the visa situation.  And what if it's twins?

 

3.  There are 3 phases to beginning a relationship:  e-mail, phone/video, and in-person.  The first two can go swimmingly well, but if the third features any hiccups or incompatibilities, alarm bells should ring.  Then, the analysis should begin.

     First, is this person genuinely available to you?  Geographically, situationally, emotionally?  You can't know this without spending considerable time together.

     Next, people are a mixture of positive & negative, or palatable & distasteful, qualities.  You can't expect to change negative or distasteful factors.  It's like a "blue plate special" in a restaurant:  if you want the roast beef, it comes with the peas -- no substitutions.  Does the person have a list of positive attributes as long as your arm, but one negative attribute that you can't compromise your standards or thoughts or emotions to accommodate... and never mention or worry about it again?  That person isn't right.  You can't possibly know this without spending considerable time together.

     Third, what reflection of yourself do you get from this person consequent to spending time with them?  (This is unrelated to how you feel about them or they about you.)  Do you feel like a million bucks, like two cents, somewhere between, or it varies from one to the other depending on situations and over time?  You can't possibly form an accurate judgment of this without spending considerable quality time in each other's presence.

 

Everyone here can acknowledge the excitement of finding a beautiful, apparently available young lady, but only fools rush in when the "life stakes" are this high.  Marry in haste, repent in leisure... and with a drained bank account, alimony, and child-support payments for years and years.

I've been thinking about this post for days. This is excellent relationship advice, they should sticky it somewhere.

👐

Patience......patience.

Posted
On 3/14/2021 at 5:03 PM, Electrichead64 said:

There are over 7 billion people on this planet, and if you apply a formula to cover all of them, you are going to have a bad time.  Especially if you judge people from your personal experiences only, which is likely American.  

    I can only speak of women of whom I've had relationships with  These would include Italy, Mongolia, Vietnam ,Japan and the South American countries of Brazil, and Equator.     Of  course there are different personalities with everyone.  I can only speak from my personal experience.   I've traveled through most of the countries in south America.  I was  on the Venezuelan border with Columbia  last January (with my Brasilian fiance).   We met refugees from that country.  I stand by my advice to the over eager young man.  

Screenshot_20210316-055848.png

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted
3 hours ago, Hoberchee said:

    I can only speak of women of whom I've had relationships with  These would include Italy, Mongolia, Vietnam ,Japan and the South American countries of Brazil, and Equator.     Of  course there are different personalities with everyone.  I can only speak from my personal experience.   I've traveled through most of the countries in south America.  I was  on the Venezuelan border with Columbia  last January (with my Brasilian fiance).   We met refugees from that country.  I stand by my advice to the over eager young man.  

Screenshot_20210316-055848.png

And yet despite all those seemingly bad experiences, you still chose a Brasillian fiancé'.  Why?  What made this one different?  I'm going to take a wild guess and stay its because she was so decidedly different than "the other girls".  My ship wouldn't even GO to Brazil.   I work on a deep sea research vessel and have been to no less than 20 countries (so far), not JUST in South America, but all over the world, and Brazil quite frankly scared the ####### out of us for a port call.  Its too bad because personally I was looking forward to seeing it. 

I think what you and so many other posters are exhibiting is what the Filipinos (which is my wife's culture) call "crab mentality"  They say this as a disparaging remark about their own people.  I prefer the monkey in a cage analogy instead.  Crab mentality is an analogy that refers to a bucket of caught crabs, if one of them tries to escape, the others pull it back in, without any reason other than if they cant have their freedom, neither can you.  

If you play by other people's rules, you are likely to have crappy results.  Take a look around .. the world doesn't exactly know what it is doing, does it?  Its a mess. If you want to live like no one else, make decisions like no one else, but yes be careful.  Character is the #1 think when choosing a spouse, and you should be mature enough to determine that for yourself.  Like I have stated previously, a very good indicator is that love is pro-active, its not re-active so much and its not merely compliant.  Unfortunately the closest thing I have had as far as a fight with my wife was when I suggested that her family not travel with us to the airport to see us off.  I thought it was because it was a waste of time and money and they wouldnt even let them in the terminal.  But the slight beginning of tears was enough to  get me to change my mind, and it turns out I was wrong anyway.  The terminal we left out of they allowed family.  I digress, but the point I want to make is, the sure way to find out someones feelings for you is to pick a fight with them.  If they escalate the situation, its because they are selfish or their ego is in they way.  A true partner should have a calming effect on a confrontation, because that shows they love you.  

I also know that if you let fear be your guide for your relationship based on past experiences or other peoples fears based on their past relationships, it can have a shoot yourself in the foot effect when it comes to your relationship.  If you are distrustful, fearful, cautious because you are afraid someone is scamming you, not only are you likely right, but even if you are wrong you are going to kill a potentially good relationship by being that way anyway.

Also, don't be so full of yourself.  There are plenty of girls in this world that talk about American scammers, too.  They are typically the guys that promise them a better lifestyle, but yet had to have 2 co-sponsors to even get the visa approved because Mr or Mrs Sad and Lonely was either on disability or cant get the 40 hours a week necessary at McDonalds to cover the basic Federal Poverty Guidelines of $17,000 a year for a visa.   They talk about how they find themselves in a crappy apartment somewhere with the rest of his family and they end up doing all the work.  Or they talk about the guys who think the girls owe them something and they are treated like slaves or physically abused.  Its not just THEM.  Its YOU too.

 
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