Save The Last Rants For Me

[trudi 1,317]

Happy New Year all!

[TBoneTX 45,594]

2 hours ago, trudi said:

Happy New Year all!

Or, depending on amount imbibed, Newpy Hap Year, hic man!

8 hours ago, cdneh said:

Severe weather ahead, and no fraidy hole here. Scoped out a closet that will have to do.

Begin drinking immediately and heavily, si Eh ma'am!

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. and the Rojo canceled their party, depressed ex-she man.

We gave ex-she man some stuff from our impressive personal pharmacy, medicate we ex-she man.

Meanwhile, Mini-B. & we having a first-class Two Guys day, thrilling report later man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Yahoos are already fireworksing, illegal within city limits man.

Fortunately, casa nicely sound-resistant, what's that you say about our bearings needing flecked man.

Miu undisturbed by dim ruckus, placid miu man.

 

Mini-B. wants to stay up till midnight, not great idea for wee man man.

Going to do regular bedtime routine and simply not go to bed on time, plan man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Thrilling Friday report, see man:

 

Mini-B. already gaming with little amigo when we lurched downstairs, uncaffeinated we man.

Managed to breakfast miu, demanding miu man.

Mini-B. forwent breakfast in favor of gaming, intense wee man.

 

Therefore, we mowed front lawn, probably last time during old year man.

Before we finished, more OPIOID crisis, just leaf us alone man.

 

Breakfast/lunch was at Chinese buffet, We're Two Guys man.

Infernal place was charging "holiday prices," see if we return anytime soon man.

We ingested Many (2+1) full plates, ingest we man.

Mini-B. ingested nearly 2 full plates, ingest wee man.

 

Gassed the T-B.-mobile, running on fumes man.

Mini-B. operated the gas pump, proficient wee man.

Afterward, Mini-B. adapted lyrics to "Can I Put My Bird In Your Oven" thus, see man:

   "Can I (huh man), can I (huh man), put some gas in your car-tank (your car-tank),

      gas in your car-tank?", si man.

 

At casa, Mini-B. resumed gaming, dedicated wee man.

We ran 2 errands, run we man.

Then nap for nearly 2 hours, zzz we man.

 

Din-din was S+M for Mini-B., request and ingest wee man.

Din-din for us was a banana about to meet its reward, ingest we man.

 

Found boring loop of worldwide fireworks, OK once through only man.

Eventually found interesting loop on YouTube, salvation man.

Many (2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. kept pestering us by phone and text, No Girls Allowed man.

Was supposed to stay in casa recovering, cold-like illness ex-she man.

Instead, the Rojo, see man:

    -- drives nearly an hour to pick ex-she man up, si man;

    -- drives ex-she man nearly an hour to his casa to blow some fireworks, si man;

    -- drives nearly an hour to return ex-she man to Casa-with-No-Closets, si man;

    -- drives his Rojo self back to his casa, good grief man.

Yes, that's dedication, si man.

No, but it's stoopid, let the sick rest and recover man.

 

Mini-B. barely made midnight, Sleepy New Year man.

Deeply asleep within Many seconds of embedding, zzz wee man.

A Two Guys New Year, happy Two Guys man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Saturday ES report, see man:

 

The first 2 of Many (2+1) ESs yielded the take, see man:

  -- big office scissors, tape measure, Atra blades, Many (2+2) pairs socks = 

        $Many ($2+2+1), steal man

  -- 2 books (one classic) = $Many ($2+2+1), steal man

Total = $Many ($2x2x2 +2)

[SalishSea 17,970]

24 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Saturday ES report, see man:

 

The first 2 of Many (2+1) ESs yielded the take, see man:

  -- big office scissors, tape measure, Atra blades, Many (2+2) pairs socks = 

        $Many ($2+2+1), steal man

  -- 2 books (one classic) = $Many ($2+2+1), steal man

Total = $Many ($2x2x2 +2)

Please report on the first (of Many) POTS sales of the new year.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

2 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

Please report on the first (of Many) POTS sales of the new year.

Do not change the subject, no impudent JD ma'am.

(Change-subjecting impudent JD ma'am!  Change-subjecting, CHANGE-SUBJECTING impudent IMPUDENT JD ma'am!)

 

We have one CPA (Corrupt Price-Adjustor) per month, takes that many man.

 

Income for January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, Manytember, and Manytober are, respectively:

$Many,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, $i man.

 

The CPAs for Manyvember and Manycember are still frantically cipherin', but it appears that income for those months will be, respectively:

$Many,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, $i man.

 

Numbers of POTS units sold are commensurate with price per POTS, varies from stock to specialty versions man.

 

Income is reduced by the handsome 0.0000001% discounts for those responding to the periodic ads, going to have to reevaluate this overly lavish promotion man.

 

After the more recent CPAs recover from their calculatory exertions, we shall caucus with them to see how to again end up with a $0 tax burden, usually quite straightforward man.

 

As the very most crucial business element societally, the POTS industry shall not be affected by governmental lockdowns or interference, this is plain man.

 

Oh, and in answer to the quoted query, Poland again ordered "Happy St. Patrick's Day" POTSs for every Polish citizen, as has been done daily except for March Many'th (2x2x2x2+1th), oj tak.

 

Edited January 2, 2022 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Thrilling Saturday report, see man:

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. well enough to host Mini-B., take he ex-she man.

 

Lunch was another (better) Chinese buffet, ingest we man.

Little Chinese waitresses love seeing us, unfortunately no Chinese rubias man.

 

Napped for an inadequate hour, zzz we man.

When Mini-B. redelivered, walked around block together, Two Guys man.

 

Played Scrabble again, Mini-B.'s request man.

After intense one + half-an-hour battle, ended in a dead tie, really man.

The score was Many to Many, tie man.

Actually, we might have won in a squeaker or landslide, flexible definition of Many man.

Actually, Mini-B. might have won in a squeaker or landslide, flexible definition of Many man.

For the sake of family harmony, we shall say that the final score was Many to Many, conclude we man.

 

Din-din was the remaining Many (2+2) hot dogs, buns somehow survived to ingestion man.

No vegetables other than ketchup*, carnivorous Two Guys man.

     *gracias, Pres. Reagan

 

Finished Mini-B.'s June 1ManyManyMany issue of Jack and Jill magazine, perfect weekly timing man.

Finished Mini-B.'s bedtime book, lasted exactly a week man.

Only second time that this has happened, start afresh next time man.

 

Reviewed "Two Guys" week with Mini-B., review we with wee man.

Few such have equaled this level of bonding, verily man.

And we still have (a new episode of) AFV on Sunday night, crowning event man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Scintillating Sunday repartee, yawn man.

-------

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

First, we forgot one item from Saturday, negligent we man.

We asked Mini-B. whether he wanted corn dogs for breakfast, ask we the obvious of wee man man.

Of course Mini-B. agreed, count on this man.

Then, spontaneously, we and wee man chorused in unison, visualize and audialize man:

"NEW YEAR'S CORN DOGS, si man!  NEW YEAR'S CORN DOGS, si man!"

This started the year correctly, intuit we man.

 

Now for Sunday, see contemporaneously man:

 

All corn dogs ingested on Saturday, good plan-mealing by we yet again man.

 

Weather Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2 +2) degrees colder than Saturday, cold-snap man.

Dropped Mini-B. with Mama T-B., doting senior she man.

Won bet with Mini-B. when Mama T-B. yelled at us within half-of-half a minute, win we man.

 

Went to Big Lots, shop with Many%-off coupon financially savvy Business Typhoon we man.

Lunch was onecan of beef stew bought at Big Lots, save effort of cupboarding it we man.

Warshered/baked/folded Many (2+1) laundry loads, victorious Thread Laundress we man.

 

Retrieved Mini-B. from Mama T-B., doting senior she of wee/off-blowing we man.

Napped for longer than one hour, zzz we man.

 

Din-din was as follows, see respective din-dins of we and wee man man:

  -- Mini-B.:  S+Ms, traditional and ingest wee man

  -- We:  2 rapidly decomposing bananas, sliced & drenched in maple syrup, ingest we man

We thus edj'muhcayted Mini-B. on Not Wasting Food, Train Younger Generation we man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. still under weather, beg off watching AFV ex-she man.

Mini-B. and we watched AFV, mandatory Two Guys activity man.

 

Up-packed Mini-B. and took to ex-Mrs.-T-B., great Two Guys week man.

Sang "Can I Put My Bird in Your Oven" on drive over, classic composition man.

Energetically recited "We're Two Guys..." in front of ex-Mrs.-T-B., too weak to object ex-she man.

Returned ourself to casa, explain to questioning miu that Big Bruddah had to go, explain we to miu man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man.

-------

Thrilling Monday report, see man:

 

Only Many degrees (F.) outside, cold snap (or perhaps heat wave, given P-math) man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. awoke us to say that her casa heat wasn't working, cool ex-she man.

Then, Mama T-B. awoke us to say that ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa heat wasn't working, overkill man.

When coherent, we told ex-Mrs.-T-B. to CTR (call the Rojo), what are Rojos for anyway man.

The Rojo later showed up and reset the heater, obviously wise advise from we man.

 

Ran final day's worth of errands before triumphant return to POTS office on Tuesday, run we man.

Lunch was at favorite Mexican restaurant, ingest heartily we man.

Napped for a blessed yet too-short hour, zzz we man.

Mexican barbershop closed, so got our hairs cut elsewhere*, shorn we man.

     *WUOC, financially savvy we man

Fed demanding miu her treats, demanding-of-treats miu man.

Din-din was the remaining half-bag of salad from last week, ingest we man.

Fed demanding miu more treats, demanding-of-more-treats miu man.

Made lunches for the week, pre-ingest we man.

Soon miu prep zzz, minister to miu prep for bed and zzz we man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Scintillating Tuesday repartee, yawn man.

------

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man:

 

We had trouble falling asleep because "Can I Put My Bird in Your Oven" was running through our brain, earworm man.

 

Miu totally aysheep in morning, aysheep miu man.

Miu often runs into the bathmats and crumples them up, skidding miu man.

Both bathmats miu-crumpled, aysheep miu man.

 

The POTS limousine was impeded by Many (2x2x2+2+1) stops at the first Many (2x2x2+2) red lights,  man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. had to pay $Many00 to fix her casa heater, not working in cold weather man.

Furnace repairman apparently noted the absence of closets, observant repairman man.

 

Lunch was the Many (2+1) gut-bombs that we made for ourself, ingest we man.

 

For din-din, we went to a McDonald's, indulge self we man.

We ordered Many (2+2+2) hamburgers with ketchup only, palatable man.

We got Many (2+2+2) cheeseburgers with ketchup only, serendipity and  we man.

 

On way back to casa, stopped at Walgreens, errand we man.

Eye-flirted with non-rubia-yet-gorgeous pharmacist, probably married she man.

 

Delivered Mini-B.'s skool backpack to a frantic ex-Mrs.-T-B., service ex-she we man.

Returned to casa to serve treats to demanding miu, service miu we man.

 

Napped for over an hour, glorious zzz for we man.

Awakened by miu-paw, Feed Me More Treats Daddy man.

Served more treats to demanding miu, re-service miu we man.

 

Per routine, will soon have to brush/play with miu, high-maintenance miu man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Scintillating Wednesday repartee, yawn man.

--------

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man:

 

Miu was aysheep for half an hour after breakfast, then zonked out atop her miu-tower, zzz miu man.

 

Lunch was set #2 of our casa-made gut-bombs, ingest we man.

 

Tonight was Two Guys evening, Two Guys man.

Mini-B. decided on Subway for din-din, decide wee man.

However, Subway was locked tighter than Fort Knox, very strange man.

Default option was Burger King, most proximal man.

Din-din was the chicken sandwich + FFs*, ingest Two Guys man.

     *bought WUOC, financially savvy we man

 

After din-din, looked at several funny Baba-Mail collections, animals/signs/construction fails man.

Watched "had one job & you messed it up" on YouTube, some pretty good man.

Returned Mini-B. on schedule, get wee man back on Sunday we man.

 

Cousin Mini-B. returns from Ecu on tonight's redeye, return senior wee man man.

Unclear who will watch Mini-B. or take him to skool if flight is late, request out to ex-she man we man.

 

Bad silent Asia!  Bad, BAD silent SILENT Asia!

[TBoneTX 45,594]

Scintillating Thursday repartee, yawn man.

----

Thrilling Thursday report, see man:

 

Cousin Mini-B.'s redeye arrived Many (2x2x2+2+1) minutes early, amazing man.

 

Miu sat on our dozing chest to lobby for breakfast, invasive miu man.

We were undercaffeinated all day despite imbibing much, cannot skip naps like yesterday man.

 

Lunch was set #Many of our casa-made gut-bombs, ingest we man.

 

Took croaky call from ex-Mrs.-T-B., laryngitis* ex-she man.

     *a close second to No Beauty Salon in potential disasters, yak yak yak she man

Said she's still not well, ask advice from we ex-she man.

We said that the cause was obviously Allergy to Rojos, diagnose ex-she we man.

We said to avoid all Rojos until health improved, prescribe to ex-she we man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. either did or didn't consider this funny, couldn't make out response from ex-she we man.

 

After office hours, had Jeeves (POTS chauffeur) limousine us to Many (2+1) Walgreens, search we something man.

The something was unavailable in pairs, what's wrong with this respected national chain man.

Nevertheless, experience not a total loss, no man.

POTS limousine drew crowds, local-news teams, and national-tabloid teams, paparazzi man.

We sold Many00 individual POTSs and inked Many corporate POTS contracts, no surprise man.

At least two or Many national tabloids plan to purchase soon, proficient Business Typhoon we man.

Also preliminarily interviewed a couple of rubias, always eye upgrades we man.

 

At casa, could do nothing before serving miu-treats to miu, demanding miu man.

Din-din was toucans of chicken-noodle soup, what part of the chicken is the noodle man.

Napped for a glorious and much-needed hour, zzz we man.

Could not watch late TV news without first serving more miu-treats to miu, spoiled miu man.

Such an exciting day and evening, exclaim we man.

[TBoneTX 45,594]

We have mentioned in previous threads that we (of course, as a massively successful Business Typhoon) have a reserved parking space at our POTS headquarters, duh man.  The HQ also has a Many-story parking garage for employees & visitors, si man.

 

We can rarely use our reserved space because of the hordes of desperate seek-jobbers who mob the POTS limousine and supplicate us for employment, pests man.

 

We therefore direct our day's chauffeur (Smedley or Jeeves) to lose these peasants by zooming the POTS limousine up to a random floor of the POTS garage, anonymous there we man.

 

We make a game of charting which floor we park on, and, on each Friday, we see which ZIP Code the numbers of the floors correspond to for that week's parking, fun man.

 

There is no first or Many'th (2x2x2+1th) floor, no man.  If we take a day off, we assign a 0, sensible man.

 

Here are the cities/towns/hamlets corresponding to recent weeks of parking, variety man:

 

Huston, Ida.

Arvada, Colo.

Lane, Okla.

*Iowa City, Ia.

Rollins Fork, Va.

 

Plainville, Kan.

*La Porte, Tex.

*Tyler, Tex.

Tontitown, Ark.

Yale, Ia.

 

Nett Lake, Minn.

Elkhart, Ia.

Summit, Ark.

Toquerville, Ut.

Lebanon, N.H.

 

*know or think that we've been to these actual places in person, very few on list man

 

Some really cool place-names and some extremely tiny towns, obscure man.