Save The Last Rants For Me

[mam521 2,111]

On 12/6/2021 at 1:10 AM, TBoneTX said:

Rant, see and grrrr man:

 

We are facing an ongoing OPIOID crisis, si and grrrr man:

  Other

  People's

  Infernal

  Oak leaves

  Infesting our

  Driveway, grrrr man.

 

And we are aware that we should simply blow it off, no need to state the obvious man.

I feel this...

So much so we moved our fence forward 16ft in a somewhat futile attempt to prevent the neighbour's lawn crew from blowing her leaves into our yard.  

[TBoneTX 45,591]

8 hours ago, mam521 said:

I feel this...

So much so we moved our fence forward 16ft in a somewhat futile attempt to prevent the neighbour's lawn crew from blowing her leaves into our yard.  

Sue 'them, mam ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

14 hours ago, Asia said:

Where are you going? Or rather - where did you go?

No information divulged to presumptuous Polish Commie-babes or anyone else without requisite upvotes, oj nie!

Presumptuous Polish Commie-babe Asia!  Presumptuous, PRESUMPTUOUS Polish POLISH Com thatmie-babe COMMIE-BABE Asia!

 

For the eyes of those who have upvoted us, we are in south Texas prepping to go into Mexico on Wednesday, si hombre.

(Note, see man: Mexico is a country, perhaps more so than Poland, oj tak.)

 

We are typing on a lousy motel computer (laptop (chained to a desk) that hasn't been serviced for Many (2x2x2+2+1) years, seriously man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thrilling Tuesday report, see if we can type it man:

 

Headed for airport too late for comfort, but late enough to miss the skool zones, inevitable tickets avoided man.

Arrived on time, serendipity man.

Sat on plane for Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 +1) minutes extra, pilot waiting out weather en route man.

 

Went straight from airport to thrift shop #1, favorite of we man.

 

Prices went way up, who do they think they are, Macy's man?!

Got Mini-B. Many (2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2) items, shop for wee man we man.

Still saved $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 + 2+2), financially savvy we man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thrilling Part 2, still see man:

 

Went to thrift store #2, visit we man.

Got Mini-B. a shirt & 2 books, buy we for wee man.

 Went to thrift store #Many, visit we man..

Got Mini-B. 2 more shirts, buy we for wee man.

Went to 2 department stores, buy we more for wee man man.

 

Breakfast/lunch/din-din was a huge platter at favorite Mexican restaurant, ingest we man.

Finally checked into motel, exhausted we man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Scintillating Wednesday repartee, including from us, yawn man.

Everybody was probably paralyzed in suspense, awaiting our thrilling report, got it first try man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thrilling Wednesday report-on-Thursday, see belatedly man:

 

Got to border a bit after Many (2x2x2) a.m., good timing man.

Weather was quite cool and pleasant, slight cold snap man.

Parked rental T-B.-mobile on U.S. side and bridge-walked over, good move by we see below man.

Parking fee $2, at least didn't go up man.

Bridge toll an outrageous $1, up from half a buck man.

 

Went straight to lab for bloodwork, open early man.

Burst in and declared, "Sangre de gringo! [blood of foreigner], declare we man.

Receptionist said, "T-Bone?", perfect memory after Many (2+2+2) months she man.

Met new lab-head, young she man.

Took over for long-time guy who died of COVID-Many in April at age only Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2-1), sigh man.

Paid only $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2 + 2) for full labs, cheaper than U.S. man.

 

Next went to dentist, early we man.

Renewed acquaintances with receptionist, friendly she man.

Got in Many (2x2x2x2) minutes late, could've done something else inbetween man.

Staggeringly beautiful (married non-rubia hygienist cleaned/whitened us, good job she man.

Paid only $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2 - [2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2+2]), cheaper than U.S. man.

 

Got our hairs cut, all of them man.

Paid only $Many ($2+2+2), cheaper than U.S. man.

Entire shop burst into song along with song on radio, boisterous staff & clientele man.

Lucky that we didn't get our ears cut off during that, fortunate we man.

 

Went to optometrist with old glasses & new Rx, plan in mind we man.

Renewed acquaintances with daughter of optometrist, long time man.

Paid only $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2x2) for lenses + maiing, cheaper than U.S. man.

 

Picked up lab report, in our hands same-day unlike U.S. man.

We shall probably remain ambulatory and above room temperature for a while, not bad labs man.

 

Went to doctor to get our ears flushed, routine every Many (2+2+2) months man.

Not as bad as in times past, what's that you say about our bearings being flecked man.

Paid only $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2), cheaper than U.S. man.

Doc also noticed open cut on our elbow, zero pain we clean/bandage he man.

Gave doc 2 pairs of clip-on sunglasses that we would never use, Feliz Navidad man.

 

Went to lunch at usual restaurant, routine we man.

Got usual grilled tilapia/rice/French fries/salad/soft tortillas, ingest we man.

Paid only $Many ($2x2x2), cheaper than U.S. man.

 

Went to favorite cheap pharmacy, stock up we man.

Got heavy supply of various stuff that we're on, good to have extra man.

Paid only $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2 - [2x2x2 +2+1]), far cheaper than U.S. man.

Also got stuff for Someone Here, far cheaper than U.S. man.

 

Were done by half-past 1 p.m., efficient we man.

Weather still quite pleasant, no sweatband needed at all man.

Walked up & down main & parallel side street, inspect we man.

Saw several new emporia and several closed old emporia, see and sigh man.

Was approached by guy offering "preety girls," rather persuasive he man.

Turned him down because of almost certain lack of rubias, maintain standards we man.

 

Got embroidered T-shirts for Mini-B. & Cousin Mini-B., souvenirs for wee men man.

Total for both was $Many ($2x2x2x2 + 2+1), cheaper than U.S. man.

 

At half-past 2 p.m., decided to walk back, all done we man.

Noticed line of cars extending a full Many (2+2+1) blocks from Port of Entry, see above man.

Dodged Many vendors asking if we wanted a dentist/pharmacy/mani-pedi/haircut, shut up man.

Bridge toll (walking) half-of-half a buck, at least didn't go up man.

 

Bridge back over is mostly uphill, not fun in heat when laden with purchases man.

Weather had warmed up, by now Many degrees F. man.

Long line of mostly elderly gringos awaiting admission at POE, winter Texans man.

We started sweating some, finally typical man.

Sweatbands buried at bottom of carry-bag, couldn't reach man.

Wiped self with sleeves, haircut crumbs all over sleeves man.

 

CBP agents not in as bad a mood as one would expect, easier duty than others have man.

Perfunctory questions about purchases asked and answers accepted, different from usual man.

Walked to rental T-B.-mobile and cranked the A/C, cool we man.

 

Texted Ex-Mrs.-T-B. that the cartel had kidnapped us for ransom, variation on a recurring theme man.

Specified that the Rojo alone was to pay $Many,000,000.[2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2+2+1] in small unmarked bills man.

Clarified that the traficantes were hungry and wanted to order pizza ASAP, clarify we man.

 

Drove to resale shop in other s. Texas city, halfway there we man.

Store had purple tags at half-price but of course no purple-tagged items, common ploy man.

Got Mini-B. a L-S shirt, long & short pants, & 2 underwear, OK finds man.

Drove the Many (2x2x2x2x2) miles back to motel-with-cheap-computer before rush hour, timing man.

 

Showered much-neededly and went in search of din-din, safari we man.

Mouth still sore from dentist, soft food necessary man.

Identified Chinese place inside big mall, safari we man.

Manager loaded our plate, close to closing man.

Gave us free egg roll, "this is on me" say he man.

Charged us only $Many ($2+2+1), $Many ($2+1) discount man.

Mall closed Many (2x2x2+2) minutes later, good timing by we man.

 

Ate din-din in motel room, ingest we man.

Vegged out, read local newspapers, and packed what we could, routine after Mexico we man.

Had nice chat with motel clerkette about mius, respective miu ownership we and she man.

Went to bed, zzz we man.

Overall, a good and productive day, self-agree we with we man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Scintillating Thursday-except-for-us repartee, yawn-except-for-us-man.

------

Thrilling Thursday report, see man:

 

Planned to sleep in but awoke early, usual post-Mexico sinus troubles man.

Breakfasted (!) at IHOP, super-nice waitress man.

 

Returned to room and packed, decisions man.

We had laid all of Mini-B.'s clothes flat in big suitcase, conserve room man.

Carry-bag was rather stuffed with medicines, would it fit in big suitcase man.

Big suitcase zippered with carry-bag in it, serendipity man.

We guessed that combined bag would survive airport weigh-in, surmise we man.

 

Bag Many (2x2x2) pounds under maximum, hoorah man.

Plane quite full, tuna-trolley man.

Last guy on plane took middle seat next to us, at least not fat man.

However, wore so much cologne that he smelled like a cheap whorehouse, allergies we man.

We managed to aim overhead blower so we didn't smell him on every breath, dodged one man.

 

Plane Many (2x2x2x2) minutes late arriving, oh well man.

Luggage guys in obvious hurry, waited longer than forever man.

Our suitcase Many'rd off, grab & go man.

Parking shuttle arrived almost immediately, good timing man.

In garage, could not immediately find the T-B.-mobile, panic we man.

We had written down the wrong floor,  we man.

Weather far hotter than forecast, Texas weather Many & we without sweatband man.

 

Made it to casa after Many p.m., later than preferred but before skool-zone speeds man.

Before anything, handled OPIOID crisis, Other People's Infernal Oak-leaves Infesting our Driveway man.

 

Miu overjoyed to see us, expressive miu man.

Dropped everything and fed miu soft glop, how can mius eat that disgusting goop man.

Miu still demanding, high-maintenance miu man.

Fed miu treats, too early for routine man.

Separated carry-bag from big suitcase and dragged all upstairs, ouch man.

 

Off-showered, highly necessary man.

Din-din was onecan of Aldi chili, ingest we man.

Continued ministering to miu, demanding miu man.

Napped for an hour, highly necessary man.

Ministered again to miu, high-maintenance miu man.

Unpacked, try to keep miu out of suitcase during this process man.

Did not warsh Mini-B.'s new clothes, too tired we man.

 

We have itineraried Many (2+2+2) ESs and 2 GSs for Friday, Texas weather Many man.

Weekend weather supposed to suck, Texas weekend weather not Many man.

And the above ends our Trip report, read and upvote lavishly man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Special Friday ES report, see especially man:

 

One GS was a dud, the other phantom (  ).  The ESs bore fruit, fruitful man:

 -- Many (2+2) thick hand-towels = $2, deal man

 -- Office Despot Many-hole ([2+1]-hole) punch = $Many-&-a-half ($[2+2]-&-a-half), deal man

 -- giant rake, new-in-package Avery address-labels, book of Insults = $Many 

       ($2+2+2), steal man

 -- warshcloth, Many-pack ([2+1]-pack) Pumpkin lawn-bags, old book = $2, steal man

 -- Many (2+2) Corelle cereal bowls, NIP Pendaflex tabs, NIP Carmex, NIP wax paper, 

       NIP rubbing-alcohol, NIP stickie-notes, 2 books for Mini-B., NIP BreathSaver mints, 

       2 Many-inch ([2x2x2x2+2]-inch) rulers = $Many ($2x2x2+1), steal man

Total = $Many-&-a-half ($[2x2x2x2 + 2+2+2+1]-&-a-half)

Edited December 11, 2021 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Scintillating Friday repartee, yawn man.

-------

Thrilling non-ES Friday report, see man:

 

Miu eager for morning interaction with our groggy self, "Daddy's still home" miu attitude man.

 

Weather warm, humid, extremely windy, yuck man.

OPIOID crisis out of control, too windy to control oak leaves man.

 

Lunched at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, ingest we man.

 

Delivered ES rake to Ex-Mrs.-T-B., her request and compensate we ex-she man.

Did not have din-din, no time/energy man.

Napped for an hour, zzz we man.

Catered to highly interactive miu, Daddy still home miu man.

Dealt with purchases from trip, get off bedroom floor man.

Itineraried 2 ESs, a GS, and an MS for Saturday, might attend all or just one man.

We are obviously an incorrigible party-animal, obviously man.

Edited December 11, 2021 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Rant, grrrr man:

 

We hate it when families run ESs, grrrr man.

"THAT'S not for sale, no man!"  [snatch it from customers' hands]

 

Well, if it's not for sale, then:

1) Remove it from view beforehand, duh man

2) Tape the cabinet or closet where it is, duh man

Many) Apologize to the customer for YOUR own oversight, duh man

Many) If 1) through Many) above aren't followed, then get a State Jail felony, just deserts man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Saturday ES/GS/MS report, see man:

 

We itineraried 2 ESs, a GS, and an MS, attend all we man.

 

First ES (local) an infuriating joke, see above Rant man.

Second ES (out-of-town) yielded the take, see man:

   -- 2 packs party plates, half-bottle Neutrogena toner = $Many ($2+1), OK man

GS & MS (out-of-#2-town) were jokes, but nice people man.

Total = $Many ($2+1)

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Scintillating Saturday repartee*, yawn man.

  *No chicken reports for ages!  Bad delinquent Ontarklar!  Bad, BAD delinquent DELINQUENT Ontarklar!

-----

Thrilling Saturday report, see man:

 

Overnight, miu had dragged her heavy dangly-pole to foot of our bed, hope Daddy wakes up man.

Miu energetically ingested miu-breakfast and then fell asleep, ingest and zzz miu man.

 

Weather windy and progressively colder, freeze we man.

 

Itinerary took us to two far-off small towns, not been to either in a while we man.

As stated, GS & MS in #2 town duds, but we made tampons from tamponade, resourceful we man.

Lunch was at clean, excellent Arby's with use of coupon, financially savvy we man.

Got oil for the T-B.-mobile on sale at NAPA Auto Parts, serendipity man.

Hit Aldi & legacy supermarket on way back, convenient route man.

Aldi had corn dogs, Major Food Group man.

http://corndog.io , must-see man.

 

Arrived at casa in time to mow front lawn OPIOID crisis, die you suckers man.

Mowed street next to curb, die you suckers man.

Didn't even need our sweatband, too cold/windy man.

However, forgot our pre-mowing antihistamines et al., misery later man.

 

Napped for what should have been a glorious hour, awoke congested man.

 

Warshered/baked/folded stuff for Cousin Mini-B. to take to Ecu soon, gifts from we man.

Fluttered feather-pole for miu to energetically attack, temporarily satiated miu man.

 

Will host Mini-B./Cousin Mini-B. for lunch on Sunday, Subway or Arby's WUOC man.

Mini-B. will then stay, make up for our missed eve during week man.

Shall consult Mini-B. for reorganization of latter's closet, much-needed reorg man.

Must now service miu, water/brush/play with miu man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Scintillating Sunday repartee, yawn man.

----

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

Took Mini-B. & Cousin Mini-B. to Subway*, ingest Many (2+1) Guys man.

    *WUOC, financially savvy we man

Mini-B. could finish only half of his sandwich, half-ingest junior wee man.

 

Returned to casa, Many (2+1) Guys man.

Constructed Home Despot children's projects, construct wee men man.

Once again, M-B. & CM-B. finished almost simultaneously, uncanny man.

Ate half of a supermarket cherry pie, ingest Many (2+1) Guys man.

Gave CM-B. stuff to take to Ecu, no expense by we man man.

CM-B. very well pleased with our time, grateful senior wee man man.

 

Returned CM-B. to Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa, good 2+ hours man.

Used opportunity to visit bathroom and leave toilet seat UP, We're Two Guys credo man.

 

Took Mini-B. on "a drive," intentionally vague we man.

Mini-B. immediately deduced a "haircut hijack," loudly object and politick wee man.

Went to 2-chair Mexican place, no wait for Señoras Lucy & Margarita man.

Latter did the job, nice man.

Mini-B. immediately perceived "too short" and ran outside, upset wee man.

Two hours later, he had calmed down, typical of wee man man.

 

Subdued single laundry load, warsher/bake/fold we man.

Served Mini-B. requested entrée of canned spaghetti rings + meatballs, Aldi version man.

Finished Mini-B.'s Subway, ingest we man.

 

Watched AFV, bowl of Costco popcorn ingested man.

Got Mini-B. ready for bed, back to routine man.

Mini-B. out-zonked within a minute of finishing bedtime reading, zzz wee man.

 

Dished/must de-dish the warsher, late start man.

 

A good Sunday, conclude we man.

[Asia 2,498]

I hope all of you who live on the way of those nasty hurricanes are safe 🌪️