Save The Last Rants For Me

[Ontarkie 14,304]

54 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Missing my husband.  I have nearly another 2 weeks to go until I see him, and it sucks because I keep seeing pics of him having fun with our friends over there, visiting members of his family whom I love too, etc. There was a rooftop party for him the other evening which looked like a ton of fun. I have been told that his ex-girlfriend was, however, flirting outrageously with him, getting handsy, etc. which I am not thrilled about for obvious reasons. But since her boyfriend was there I have been told to calm down, I'm making too much of it, and so on.

 

Meanwhile I'm living the sixty-something lifestyle with my parents. 😕 I was in bed by 8:30pm last night.

Hoping those two weeks go by fast. 

I'd hate that you have to miss out. The handsy ex should have been put in her spot by your husband and he deserves an earful for telling you to calm down. It takes two ppl for behaviour like that to continue. Hopefully she is not around again. 

 

Bed by 8 is no fun, hopefully the rest of your time there is good. 

[laylalex 7,293]

The problem is with the ex that we're all friends with her. Even me!  We used to despise each other and then we grew up and discovered we had a whole lot more we liked about each other than disliked. I reached out to her earlier today and said hey, I heard what happened and although I know you don't mean anything by it, it still makes me feel insecure. She's a good enough person that I'm sure she'll apologize. Doesn't mean she won't do it again.  

 

Husband is going to get a second earful later tonight when it's morning his time.  

[TBoneTX 45,580]

10 hours ago, laylalex said:

Missing my husband.

That's because you haven't been married long enough, LL ma'am.  

Seriously, sympathies, and take it a day at a time, si LL ma'am.

10 hours ago, laylalex said:

I'm living the Many-something lifestyle

This becomes better with the convenient use of P-math,  LL ma'am!

10 hours ago, laylalex said:

I was in bed by Many:Many pm last night.

Bedtime precised, si and  LL ma'am.

We suggest that you schedule your nap for this time, and web-surf till all hours thereafter, si LL ma'am.

5 hours ago, laylalex said:

Husband is going to get a second earful later tonight

We are reminded of our hit song in Spanish*, see LL ma'am:

   *sung to the tune of La Cucaracha, si man

Ciudada-NA America-NA (si man si man),

Ya puede esposo joder;

Ciudada-NA, ciudada-NA (si man si man),

Americana siempre!

 

(Female American citizen, able to nag husband; female citizen, female citizen, female American always, si man)

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Thrilling Thursday report, see man:

 

Having smashed yet another record for POTS* sales, we are taking Friday off, reward self we man.

   *order yours today, si man

 

Din-din was the remainder of a box of Aldi-brand raisin bran, ingest we man.

We then violently napped for an hour, zzz we man.

We then watched the Many-p.m. local TV news, informed we man.

We then harvested the newspaper Arby's and Wendy's coupons, about time for both man.

We have continued this inveterate party-animal behavior unabated, no self-control and don't want any man.  

Edited September 3, 2021 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Special Friday ES report, see man:

 

The first two of the Many (2+1) ESs that we attended yielded the take, see man:

 -- book for Mini-B. = $2, OK man

 -- verrrry thick bath-towel = $1, steal man

Total = $Many ($2+1)

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Scintillating Friday repartee, yawn man.

--------

Thrilling Friday non-ES report, see man:

 

Ran Many errands, necessary man.

Learned no appointment necessary to bring miu to vet for manicure, must therefore do ASAP man.

(Miu went aysheep again this morn, aysheep miu man.)

Somehow avoided massive monsooning in area, still-clean T-B.-mobile man.

 

Breakfast/lunch (at 2 p.m.) was large salad at Wendy's, ingest we WUOCOC* man.

     *with use of coupon, of course

 

Aldi where we stopped had no corn dogs, outrage and grrrrRRRRR man.

 

Upon return from ES-ing, mowed full lawn, day early man.

Although midafternoon, not bad because of heavy cloud-cover, shaded we man.

Thereafter, napped for a glorious 2 hours, zzz we man.

 

Din-din was the remaining approx. Many (2x2x2x2) chicken tenders from last week, ingest we man.

 

Full GS/ES itinerary itineraried for Saturday, expedition we man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. vaguely tied up on Sat. eve, claims it's for work but probably the Rojo man.

We shall host Mini-B. & Cousin-Mini-B. for din-din, probably go somewhere man.

We shall then return CM-B. and keep Mini-B. overnight, return to Ex-Mrs.-T-B. in morning man.

This is largely why we mow-lawned on Fri. vs. Sat., efficient planner we man.

[laylalex 7,293]

News from London -- so my husband's ex and her fiance just bought a home in Hampstead. I have been given the virtual tour and it's very, very nice. I looked at the listing the other month before they closed and the price was eye-watering, but they did get a lot of space and a back garden, a sauna (!) and some very fancy looking loos. So anyway, last night Alex is over with them, having dinner, and he and his... what do you call a person who is about to marry your ex-wife?  Easier if we give him his name, which is Tom. So Tom says, hey Al, did you know there's a secret door in this house? Al says no, and Tom says, Min (the ex) won't go in there and I can't fit inside, will you come exploring with me? Well of course he did -- they'd had a few glasses of wine and this sounded like a splendid idea.

 

So the door is in what is now a study, and it's basically a passageway that used to lead to another room but the second access door was completely removed and replastered. The other one remained, but was wallpapered over so it looked all of a piece with the wall. British houses are so weird. When this house was built, the rooms would have been the kitchen and a maid's room, from what we can tell.

 

It's not broad enough for Tom to walk inside more than a couple feet but Al can just about squeeze in so in he goes with his flashlight on his phone. It's pretty cold in there, and mostly filth and a couple of old and broken telephones. (Why?) And then... what have we here? At the end of the passageway there is a steamer trunk! It's turned on its side so he can't open it in the space, but he lugs it out into the room. No lock so he pops open the latches and... booze. 34 bottles of 1980 Château Montrose Saint-Estèphe and 12 of the Famous Grouse. Of the 34 bottles, 10 are damaged (decayed corks, bottles making fizzy noises) but the others look fine, if dusty.

 

One bottle of wine has been consumed so far and has been deemed pretty delicious. The Famous Grouse is less exciting but still, how cool! We were talking about it this morning (my time) and the plan is for Tom to bond with my stepdaughter by doing some local history research this year into the house to find out its secrets. 

 

Meanwhile, here I am in a house built approximately 1960 and it's considered "old" here. No secret passageways! I'm going out in a moment for a late lunch and some shopping at the Grove with my sister, I need to get out of the Valley or I think my head will implode.

[TBoneTX 45,580]

3 hours ago, laylalex said:

he pops open the latches and... booze. Many bottles of 1ManyMany0 Château Montrose Saint-Estèphe and Many of the Famous Grouse. Of the Many bottles, Many are damaged (decayed corks, bottles making fizzy noises) but the others look fine

Numbers and vintage of serendipitous cache precised, see and  LL ma'am.

Now, if Many out of Many were damaged, how many were or weren't left, huh LL ma'am?

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Saturday ES/GS report, see man:

 

Quite a lengthy itinerary, si man, and again a disappointment, see the take man:

 -- tupacs cocktail napkins, tupacs party plates = $1, steal man

 -- Many (toucans + onecan) green beans, can soup, slip-on oven mitts = $2, deal man

Total = $Many ($2+1)

 

All but the one GS were an utter waste, gag us man.

One ES was phantom, why bother advertising without follow-through man.

This is getting ridiculous, need to raise Cain somehow we man.

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Thrilling Saturday non-ES/GS report, see man:

 

Breakfast/lunch (at 2 p.m.) was a (small) Swanson chicken pot pie, ingest we man.

Napped for over an hour, zzz we man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. begged us to house Mini-B. tonight, exception to visitation man.

Claimed that it was something "for work," vague ex-she man.

We suspect that she is cavorting with the Rojo, cavort ex-she with he man.

 

We took Mini-B. & Cousin M-B. to din-din at Olive Garden, road trip we with wee men man.

This was to celebrate CM-B.'s impressive achievements in skool, accomplished wee man.

We each had salads, bread sticks, and lasagna, ingest Many (2+1) Guys man.

We consumed about half of Mini-B.'s lasagna, full wee man.

CM-B. couldn't quite finish his, full wee man.

We retain our exalted status as champion clean-plater, victorious we man.

 

Must soon prep Mini-B. for bed, pretend it's a regular night man.

He will be displeased to learn that we still could not find corn dogs, critical shortage man.

He is pleased to be back with miu, Big Brudder/Little Sister wee and miu man.

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Here is convenient ordering information for your Pre-Owned Toilet Seat on the upcoming week's National Days, order today man:

 

Mon., Manytember Many'th

National Read a Book Day = we wrote the book on POTSs, so buy your POTS today

 

Tues., Manytember Many'th

National "Neither Rain Nor Snow" Day = neither of these, nor any other weather condition, should prevent you from buying a POTS today

 

Wed., Manytember Many'th

Pardon Day = beg your pardon, but you should buy a POTS today

 

Thurs., Manytember Many'th

National Weiner Schnitzel Day = your newly ordered POTS comes with delicious weiner schnitzel glued to the seat

 

Fri., Manytember Many'th

Hug Your Boss Day = because this is harassment, buy him/her a POTS today instead

 

Sat., Manytember Many'th

National Hollerin' Day = BUY A POTS TODAY!

 

Sun., Manytember Many'th

National Day of Encouragement = everyone in the country encourages you to buy a POTS today

 

The first Many (only!) customers to mention this ad when ordering will receive a handsome 0.0000001% discount off full retail, $i man.  Get your POTS today, whee man!

[cdneh 3,112]

Yikes. A friend of ours has just announced his engagement. His wife died April first this year.  He drives long haul trucks, and now and then he stops by the local truck stop for lunch.

 

In July, so three months after his wife died, he told me he had a girlfriend. Showed me a picture of her, taken at his wife's funeral, and in it the new girlfriend and he are holding hands. At the funeral. They all went to high school together. Dug the engagement ring he had bought out of his pocket to get my opinion.  I figured he knew what he was about, congratulated him and wished them well.

 

Last night on FB, he announced his engagement. To an entirely different woman. This one is from the Philippines, and has a 12 hear old daughter. He has known her three weeks,  only one week before he proposed. Both the fiancee and the daughter are wearing engagement rings.

 

She arrived here on a K1, has a two year green card, filed VAWA as yet undecided, and is just recently divorced.

 

She is 32 years younger than he is, and really quite beautiful. Mike is, well, let's just say he won't be winning any GQ awards for sartorial splendor. He is short, chubby, bordering on obese.

 

Now it is just me, or has my friend totally lost his ever loving mind?

[TBoneTX 45,580]

37 minutes ago, cdneh said:

has my friend totally lost his ever loving mind?

He was out of love with his wife, perhaps Eh ma'am; he's on the rebound, perhaps Eh ma'am; he's fishing and hoping to "trade up," perhaps Eh ma'am; he's psycho, almost certainly Eh ma'am.

 

We would remain distantly pleasant but out of direct involvement, si Eh ma'am.

The solution is for you to upvote all of our recent (and earlier) posts, perfect strategy Eh ma'am!

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Pre-noon Sunday report, pre-see man:

 

Dropped Mini-B. at Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa, temporary bye we to wee man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. is taking the boys to IKEA today, ex-she take wee men man.

She plans to get some closets,      man.

When we told Mini-B., he responded with completely accurate observations, eyeroll wee man.  

 

Meanwhile, we lopped branches from crepe myrtles et al. in front & back yards, sweaty we man.

We have already dished the warsher, efficient we man.

 

We have one firm and one possible goal today, see man:

 1.  Find corn dogs, firm man.

 2.  Hit a semiaccessible ES, possible man.

 

We must then warsher/bake/fold our one laundry load, this time including ironing man.

[TBoneTX 45,580]

Thrilling post-noon Sunday report, see man:

 

Did not go to ES, oh well man.

 

Hit Manyth (2+2th) -- yes, Many'th (2+2th) -- store in search of corn dogs, good grief man.

Aldi said that "corn dogs are out of season," !?!?!?!? man.

We finally found them at Walmart, hate going there man.

We will not deprive Mini-B. of one of the Major Food Groups, loyal daddy we man.

 

In addition, Gatorade & Powerade are nowhere to be found, shortage man.

 

Breakfast/lunch/din-din (at 2 p.m.) was a packaged roast beef sub from Walmart, quite filling man.

 

Mini-B. had missed some skool with non-coronaveerus sore throat, not-too-sick wee man.

We (& Ex-Mrs.-T-B.) learned by automated message (not from teechurs) of missing skoolwork, surprise man.

Made Mini-B. do one of the Many (2+1) assignments this eve, force wee we & ex-she man.

Mini-B. raised Cain and barely mailed in his effort, shades of remote learning man.

We had a talk with him and nearly brought him to tears, wee man must understand Life man.

Fortunately, he recovered, and bedtime proceeded as usual, Two Guys man.

 

WCG (World's Cheapest Gringo) might visit on Monday, first time in 2+ years man.