Save The Last Rants For Me

[Neonred 3,576]

On 2/10/2021 at 10:46 PM, TBoneTX said:

Waiting for orders of Pre-Owned Toilet seats, get with it man.

 

 Does recycled toilet paper come with them?   

[NikLR 13,228]

22 hours ago, SAT said:

How did my kid's Nanny manage to buy a 1.3 million dollar house?

You pay her too much? 

[SAT 9,609]

6 hours ago, Neonred said:

 Does recycled toilet paper come with them?   

This remind me of a joke...

 

2 Polish guys go camping. 

1 said to the other, "hey man, I gotta go take a #######"

The other one says, "why are you telling me? Go behind the bush over there!"

5 minutes later, the guy behind the bush yells, " hey man get me the toilet paper!" 

The other guy said, "oh sht, I forgot the toilet paper....hey, use a dollar!"

Another 5 minutes later, the guy comes out from behind the bush all covered in sht. 

He said, "You dumb $&@®©% Pollack! This is why people make fun of Polish people, not only am I all covered in sht, but there's 4 quarters stuck in my azz!"

[TBoneTX 45,572]

11 hours ago, Neonred said:

 Does recycled toilet paper come with them?   

For a $light extra fee, anything is po$$ible, $i man.

[TBoneTX 45,572]

9 hours ago, NikLR said:

You pay her too much? 

Plagiarism, si Niki-B. ma'am!

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Thrilling Friday report, see man:

 

Got second Many/Many'ths of Uncle T-B.'s groceries, duly delivered to senior he man.

Mini-B. had half-day of skool, elated wee man.

 

Had Zoom caucus with Mini-B.'s teechurs, caucus we with she & she man.

Teechurs say that Mini-B. is a delight and they wish that all their stoodents were like him, si man.

Mini-B. is reading "above Many'th-grade (2+2+2+1th-grade) level," no surprise man.

Mini-B. is very creative and observant, creative observant wee man.

Mini-B. has shown distinct improvement throughout the skool year, online disaster over man.

Teechurs thanked us and we thanked teechurs, thankful we and they man.

 

Had "movie night" with Mini-B., watch silly cat-videos we with wee man.

Consumed Many (2+1) bags of microwave popcorn*, ingest we with wee man.

 

*Mantra fulfilled, see man:

"We're Two Guys, si man!  We eat WHAT we want WHEN we want, si man!  We fart WHEREVER we want WHENEVER we want, si man!  We leave the (pre-owned) toilet seat UP, si man!  And no girl can tell us what to do, no man -- not even Mommy, no man!"

[TBoneTX 45,572]

We have itineraried only 2 ESs* and 1 MS** for Saturday, si and sigh man.

     *estate sales, si man

    **moving-sale, si man

 

Part of this is that these were the only nearby-ish ones to itinerary, logical man.

Other part of this is that Mini-B. will complainingly accompany us, practical man.

We shall see if these will yield anything of note, last few rather disappointing man.

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Oh, pedal update, see man:  Foot responded nicely to overnight Heap Strong Medicine, relief man.

[SAT 9,609]

Just filed a complaint against the new letter carrier. For days, I watch this guy fling people's mail onto their stoops, landing on snow and ice. 

And the mailboxes are accessible. The neighbors cleared paths to reach the doors. 

This guy stands on the sidewalk and flings mail 10 feet like a frisbee. Is he kidding me? 

[SAT 9,609]

 

 

It's Chinese New Year time. 

What does my wife do? 

The red envelopes that we pass out....

Some are 5s, some are 10s, some 20s, some 50s. 

Wouldn't it make sense if she'd sort them in envelopes from small to big? 

What does she do? 

The 5s and 20s are in a small red envelope, 

The 10s are in huge envelopes, 

The 50s are in medium size envelopes. 

And There were some 20s in huge envelopes. 

WT-F man....

It's friggin confusing. I don't want to have to check the bill inside the envelope before I pass it out. 

So, what happened so far? 

My neighbor's kids all got 20s instead of 10s. 

Turtle's little classmates got 10s instead of 5s 

<sigh> 

 

[TBoneTX 45,572]

21 minutes ago, SAT said:

I watch this guy fling people's mail onto their stoops, landing on snow and ice.

Well, neither rain nor gloom nor snow nor ice shall stoop him from his appointed rounds, no man.

16 minutes ago, SAT said:

The red envelopes that we pass out....

Some are Manys, some are Manys, some Manys, some Manys. 

Wouldn't it make sense if she'd sort them in envelopes from small to big?

If she (and you) used P-math, per above, no problem, oj nie.

17 minutes ago, SAT said:

It's friggin confusing.

Next time, switch to Pre-Owned Toilet Seats* and avoid all such problems, see man.

     *buy yours today, si man

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Saturday ES report, see man:

 

Had minimal itinerary itineraried, weather and time of year man.

Convinced grousing/beefing Mini-B. to come along, we plus wee man.

First ES yielded the take, see man:

  -- Many (2+2) placemats; can Progreso soup; action figure "Snake" for Mini-B. = 

          $Many ($2+1), steal man

Total = $Many ($2+1)

 

MS turned out to be a mini-ES, nothing there man.

Lunched at Burger King* with Mini-B., improve wee man's mood man.

       *with use of coupon

Skipped Many'rd ES, too far man.

 

Shall drop Mini-B. with Ex-Mrs.-T-B. shortly, bring we wee to she man.

Then run errands, errand we man.

Then return to casa for much-needed siesta, zzz we man.

[SAT 9,609]

 

My kids dug out my yearbook from Junior high school. 

I looked in my class, and did a quick search on a couple of names that I remembered. 

Pull up a FB page and in her friends, I saw a lot of kids that I went to school with. 

And ya know, it really is just like the movies....

The most popular kids become the biggest losers lol. 

I'm like, "is this what ya got now? is this where ya live? Is that what you do?" 

lol.....

 

[TBoneTX 45,572]

2 minutes ago, SAT said:

The most popular kids become the biggest losers

Maybe they also still have zits, too, insult to injury man.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

1 hour ago, SAT said:

 

My kids dug out my yearbook from Junior high school. 

I looked in my class, and did a quick search on a couple of names that I remembered. 

Pull up a FB page and in her friends, I saw a lot of kids that I went to school with. 

And ya know, it really is just like the movies....

The most popular kids become the biggest losers lol. 

I'm like, "is this what ya got now? is this where ya live? Is that what you do?" 

lol.....

 

 

This kid who was an absolute jerk to me in high school and thought he was better than everyone else.... also became a paramedic (funny that), then got into drugs, became one of Colorado's most arrested people, abused his wife, got another chance and had his license reinstated, only to bonk it all up again.... is still a jerk, but at least everyone sees it now.