Save The Last Rants For Me

[Ontarkie 14,304]

8 hours ago, Ed&Midori1031 said:

Hey everyone.  I'm not sure if this is the place to do it, but since the word "rant" is in the title...My wife is just too stressed about the U.S. and how things are ran here, especially when it comes to Maerican attitudes, her job, etc.  As much as I try and listen my best, it's just become overwhelming now.  Has anyone experienced this??

Oh you should have heard me complain to the Hillbilly. Every darn day there was something. The size of the darn spiders, poison this poison that. THe darn tornado alarms that go off for no reason. Crappy chocolate, the flour sucks (I did find one that was better and now King Arthur flour is sold here, I'm so much happier with that one). Cost of my stupid inhalers is just nuts. How everyone wants your SSN but then SSN tells you not to give it out. Heck they didn't even want to get me admitted to the hospital while I was in labour because I didn't know it off by heart and I don't carry it.  You think they would be happy with the Health insurance card but nope. Oh and don't get me started on how they treat pregnant women here compared to back in Canada. Now I did like I could walk out of one doctors office and call another and just like that I have a new doctor (10 yr wait list back where I used to live). THen I complained how dumb the learners permit test is. ( I moved here with 4 kids)  THey make it so crazy and hard but turn around and don't actually have anything other than drive around the block to get your DL. Then they wonder why ppl can't drive here. 

 

Let her blow off steam don't take it personally. It's not you it's the change and it took me a good 3 yrs before I started feeling like this was going to be ok. 5 yrs before I really felt like this is home. Now after 13yrs I don't hate it and don't complain nearly as much. Complaining is good. It means she is talking to you about how she feels. As long as she isn't blaming you for messing up her life that is.  

 

As Tbone has mentioned the Moving to the US forum, has many ppl venting and looking for others who feel the same. Still you are more then welcome to come complain here too. Big hugs to both of you I know it's hard. 

Edited June 25, 2021 by Ontarkie

[TBoneTX 45,579]

4 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

don't get me started on how they treat pregnant women here

About doggone time, si D ma'am!      

Is it twins, Manylets, Manyruplets, or Manytuplets this time, huh huh huh D ma'am?   

Fecund parturient Ontarklar!  Fecund, FECUND parturient PARTURIENT Ontarklar!

[TBoneTX 45,579]

Installment #Many of Friday casa-watching for Ex-Mrs.-T-B., troll we she man:

 

Because of our obligations (and likelihood of being kidnapped for ransom as a staggeringly rich gringo Business Typhoon), we asked Ex-Mrs.-T-B. if the Ecu handyman had Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa key, ask she we man.  He did, wonderful man.

 

Now for our consequent trolling message, see man:

 

"Don't know if [Ecu handyman] told you, but the traficantes let him take in the boxes, si man.  While there, he convinced them that there was no benefit in staying at a casa with no closets, zero man.

 

"The traficantes took the Hondureños out the back and over the fence, bye man.  Meanwhile, the Salvadoreños threw more plantain peels out the hole in your garage door, and they escaped while the news crews and police were slipping on them, bye man.

 

"All is quiet now, except that you must:

        1.  fix your garage door, si man

        2.  unclog your plumbing, si man

Many.  buy toilet paper, you're out man

Many.  restock your pantry, empty man

Many.  warsh the pupu off all your bath towels, used as toilet paper when you ran out man

Many.  answer all the violation notices from the HOA, big BIG trouble man

 

"Oh, and a Polish dude is still in the garage, consequent to getting mixed in somehow with the Salvadoreños, oj tak.  He is eating plantain peels and muttering something about being really lost and who ever heard of a casa without closets even in Poland, oj tak.  You will have to treat him very nicely to make up for this inhospitable outrage, si man.

 

"Just thought that you would like to know the latest about all this, helpful we man.  Welcome home tomorrow, si man!"

Edited June 26, 2021 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,579]

Thrilling Friday non-watch-Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s-casa report, see man:

 

Another record-setting week of POTS $ale$, golden man.

 

Went straight from POTS office to Costco, get something different for Mini-B. man.

Of course, everyone else had the same idea, place mobbed man.

Ended up getting nearly $Many00 of stuff, never shop when you're hungry man.

Eager-to-see-Daddy miu almost tripped us when we brought the stuff in, eager miu man.

 

Din-din was half a bag of soggy salad, last possible moment to ingest we man.

Dessert was most of a bag of deli ham, penultimate moment to ingest we man.

No time for a siesta, no zzz for we sigh man.

Placed mandatory daily call to get yelled at about stuff by Mama T-B., yell senior she man.

We're obviously a real party-animal, party-animal we man.

 

Learned that our lawnmower is out of repair warranty, Many (2+2+1) years man.

Plan to buy new one on Saturday at mower shop if we can arise early enough, fat chance man.

Regardless, have verrrrry full ES/GS itinerary, ought to score man.

 

Played with miu, energetic miu man.

Threw the following into the air for miu to chase, miu chase the following man:

  -- Many (2+1) new feathered rollers, miu's favorites man

  -- Many (2+2) semi-destroyed feather rollers, obviously miu's long-time favorites man

  -- 2 balled-up Arby's wrappers, silver man

  -- Squeaky mousie, squeak man

  -- Fluffy mousie, fluff man

  -- Tiny mousie, tiny man

  -- Nondescript torn-up fluffy item, unsure what it used to be man

Then threw all of same in other direction, continued-energetic miu man.

 

Heard follow-up news about Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa excitement, read man:

  1.  Neighbors are wondering why Polish dude is lost in garage, oj tak

  2.  Multiple slip-on-plantain-peel lawsuits are imminent, $i man

Many.  Expedited citizenship being offered to all illegal parties because of pain/suffering from 

              being in closetless casa, only possible fair outcome man

 

Aren't you glad you asked, huh man?

[Ontarkie 14,304]

2 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

About doggone time, si D ma'am!      

Is it twins, Manylets, Manyruplets, or Manytuplets this time, huh huh huh D ma'am?   

Fecund parturient Ontarklar!  Fecund, FECUND parturient PARTURIENT Ontarklar!

Sorry to burst your bubble but in this department I quit no more babies for me. The OB's made enough money off of me they should be good now. 

[mrmvkjts 459]

Today has been a good day. I got my letter for my biometrics appointment AND a new vacuum cleaner. Now Austria only has to beat Italy in the Euro cup and the day would be pretty much perfect haha

Edited June 26, 2021 by mrmvkjts

[TBoneTX 45,579]

23 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

1.  I quit no more babies for me.

2.  The OB's made enough money off of me they should be good now. 

1.  Winners never quit, and quitters never win, si and no D ma'am!

2.  Cheat-OB-ing Ontarklar!  Cheat-OB-ing, CHEAT-OB-ING Ontarklar!

[TBoneTX 45,579]

Saturday ES/GS report, see man:

 

The Saturday ESs & GSs were mostly duds, sometimes works out like that man.

See the take, see man:

  -- "Golden Nature" book on Trees* = half a buck, OK man

  -- 2 gallon jugs distilled water = $1, steal man

  -- Spanish phrase book; "Brain Quest" game for Mini-B. = $2-&-a-half, deal man

Total = $Many ($2+2)

 

*which we had told Mini-B. of just last week, amazing coincidence man

[TBoneTX 45,579]

8 hours ago, mrmvkjts said:

I got my letter for my biometrics appointment AND a new vacuum cleaner.

When you show up at USCIS, you can say, "My vacuum cleaner ate my appointment," si QA ma'am.

8 hours ago, mrmvkjts said:

Now Austria only has to beat Italy in the Euro cup

         ,  QA ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,579]

 

Here is convenient ordering information for your Pre-Owned Toilet Seat on the upcoming week's National Days, order today man:

 

Mon., June Many'th

International Lightning Safety Day = lightning will strike you unless you order your POTS today

 

Tues., June Many'th

International Mud Day = your name will be mud unless you order your POTS today

 

Wed., June Many'th

National Meteor Watch Day = a meteor (wearing a watch) will strike you unless you buy a POTS today

 

Thurs., July 1st

Resolution Renewal Day = renew (and act upon) your resolution to buy a POTS today

 

Fri., July 2nd

Made in the USA Day = there is no more made-in-the-USA product than the POTS that you will order today

 

Sat., July Many'rd

International Day of Cooperatives = cooperate with everyone internationally and order a POTS today

 

Sun., July Many'th

Independence Day = declare yours by ordering a red/white/blue or star-spangled POTS today

 

The first Many (only!) customers to mention this ad when ordering will receive a handsome 0.0000001% discount off full retail, $i man.  Get your POTS today, whee man!

[TBoneTX 45,579]

Thrilling Saturday non-GS/ES report, see man:

 

Awoke at o'dark-Many, mornings should be illegal man.

Dragged our carcass to the lawnmower store, what a drag man.

Purchased brand-new, Many-in-One, self-propelled Toro with a Briggs engine, prefer we man.

Hit 2 GSs on way back to casa, efficient we man.

Unloaded Toro from T-B.-mobile trunk without (we think) over-damaging ourself, ouch man.

 

Embarked on GS/ES itinerary, pretty good timing man.

Intermittent monsoons, hope still held by we to lawn-mow later man.

Finished groceries at Aldi, store near route man.

Lunched at favorite Chinese buffet, ingest Many (2+1) heaping plates we man.

 

One block from the casa, rain began sprinkling, drat it man.

Went upstairs in prep for Plan B, shower + siesta man.

Looked outside window just beforehand and saw bright sunshine, go figure man.

Hastily reverted to Plan A, mow we man.

 

New mower started right up and plowed magnificently through lawn, record time man.

Sun after rain = Many (2+1) sweatbands, perspire we man.

Came in to off-cool under ceiling fan, recover we man.

Miu promptly sat on lap, miu-hair subsequently glued all over mow-lawning attire man.

 

Showered and took 2-hour siesta, both highly necessary man.

Took call from Mini-B./Ex-Mrs.-T-B., back in traficante-vacated casa man.

Asked Ex-Mrs.-T-B. if she'd gotten Polish dude out of garage, affirmative man.

Mini-B. announced plans to create suit of armor out of cardboard boxes, innovative wee man.

 

Got yelled at by Mama T-B. for "extravagance" in buying a new lawnmower, yell senior she at we man.

Broke up second miu-fight this week between neighbor's younger miu and older meaner strange miu, keep all mius inside man.

Grinned to ourself when monsoon began outside, mowing done man.

Did not dish the warsher, save for Sunday man.

[SalishSea 17,969]

On 6/25/2021 at 7:45 PM, TBoneTX said:

Installment #Many of Friday casa-watching for Ex-Mrs.-T-B., troll we she man:

 

Because of our obligations (and likelihood of being kidnapped for ransom as a staggeringly rich gringo Business Typhoon), we asked Ex-Mrs.-T-B. if the Ecu handyman had Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa key, ask she we man.  He did, wonderful man.

 

Now for our consequent trolling message, see man:

 

"Don't know if [Ecu handyman] told you, but the traficantes let him take in the boxes, si man.  While there, he convinced them that there was no benefit in staying at a casa with no closets, zero man.

 

"The traficantes took the Hondureños out the back and over the fence, bye man.  Meanwhile, the Salvadoreños threw more plantain peels out the hole in your garage door, and they escaped while the news crews and police were slipping on them, bye man.

 

"All is quiet now, except that you must:

        1.  fix your garage door, si man

        2.  unclog your plumbing, si man

Many.  buy toilet paper, you're out man

Many.  restock your pantry, empty man

Many.  warsh the pupu off all your bath towels, used as toilet paper when you ran out man

Many.  answer all the violation notices from the HOA, big BIG trouble man

 

"Oh, and a Polish dude is still in the garage, consequent to getting mixed in somehow with the Salvadoreños, oj tak.  He is eating plantain peels and muttering something about being really lost and who ever heard of a casa without closets even in Poland, oj tak.  You will have to treat him very nicely to make up for this inhospitable outrage, si man.

 

"Just thought that you would like to know the latest about all this, helpful we man.  Welcome home tomorrow, si man!"

Ex-Mrs T-B is lucky that the POTS de la Casa were not stolen for resale on the black market during her absence!

[cdneh 3,112]

Families are strange things.

 

I had a Facebook message from my first cousin, in Ontario Canada. It isn't new, but we are not friends on there, so it only came up when I went looking for something unrelated that ought to have been sent.

 

She sent her condolences on the loss of my sister. News to me.

 

So I hunted down the obit, which is a week old. I understand from that she had two surviving sisters, who are named. I am not.

Charming.

 

[SalishSea 17,969]

4 hours ago, cdneh said:

Families are strange things.

 

I had a Facebook message from my first cousin, in Ontario Canada. It isn't new, but we are not friends on there, so it only came up when I went looking for something unrelated that ought to have been sent.

 

She sent her condolences on the loss of my sister. News to me.

 

So I hunted down the obit, which is a week old. I understand from that she had two surviving sisters, who are named. I am not.

Charming.

 

Aw, man.  That sucks bigly.  Families are strange.  I had something similar happen when my grandma died.  Sending hugs your way!

[trudi 1,317]

8 hours ago, cdneh said:

Families are strange things.

 

I had a Facebook message from my first cousin, in Ontario Canada. It isn't new, but we are not friends on there, so it only came up when I went looking for something unrelated that ought to have been sent.

 

She sent her condolences on the loss of my sister. News to me.

 

So I hunted down the obit, which is a week old. I understand from that she had two surviving sisters, who are named. I am not.

Charming.

 

That majorly sucks on all fronts