Save The Last Rants For Me

[yuna628 9,687]

A small rant from me.... I'm usually crabby, so sorry if I seem more so right now.

 

It's been really five years of hell with my dad in hospital stays, getting him well enough to get back to a good place, being dragged back to square one, rinse and repeat. I never know how long stability is going to last. Two weeks ago we were off to the hospital again. He was obviously in a great deal of pain, and I sympathize as I've been there. What should have been routine turned into a nightmare. They just couldn't find out what was wrong. They shipped him off to another hospital, and then eventually dumped him back home. An 80 year old man, frail, his arms now black and blue, confused, and still according to daily nurses doing blood draws - seriously unwell.

 

At the same time I end up getting stuck on jury duty, for a rape trial I did not want any part of which was... let's just say I had some exasperated thoughts with the judge and he promptly let me go, so that I could run through streets to get back to the hospital.

 

Anyway by the time dad is now home, it's still clear he is in very poor shape and no one is listening to me. So I start from scratch, and book an urgent appointment with his primary doctor, who cancels at the last minute, but we are being seen by the head doctor instead which I preferred. He's a give it to you straight kind of guy, which is not always personable, but blunt. So I get pushy, I give it to him straight. I go over everything (the hospital hadn't even sent over results so he was thankful I'd printed off copies) and I am begging him for help for my dad. He tells me he's going to run a huge amount of tests and scans, and mentions two options - one not great but okay and the other very very bad. My dad is kind of checked out during this convo, but I can tell by what the doctor is saying, he thinks it's the very very bad option.

 

His suspicions were confirmed based on those results, and a blunt and crushing phone call later where the C word is dropped and they are sure of it and he needs more urgent appointments. My dad is a frazzled and a scared mess and I'm trying to assure him that it is okay.

 

But guys I know it's not okay. I know this C word of this kind is very deadly. And I know for all the crazy my dad has survived, I know he will not survive this. And then I have to tell my mother. The woman that has survived the C word and has lost friends to it and beats herself up about it. It wasn't great. She's in denial because that's how she copes. And then I have to tell my sister, and it's devastating for her, because she's lost so many patients to this. And now... I have to tell my other sister that lost her husband and is constantly afraid of losing her father. I have to tell his siblings, because he can't bring himself to speak without crying. I honestly feel so numb, but also angry, because a lot of time has been wasted at a hospital that just wasn't interested in getting to the bottom of something serious with an elderly patient. Healthcare in this country is a shitshow. The tests that picked up on this? Not even covered by Medicare. Most people don't even know they have this until too late it takes some doctor somewhere with enough of a brain to pick up on this. I nodded and said I didn't care the cost, whatever it would cost if it could prove what was wrong with my dad. 

 

I'm not even sure what I'm saying here. It's all so absurd and surreal.

[beloved_dingo 1,979]

@yuna628 So sorry your father, as well as you and your family, are going through this. Having to jump through hoops with doctors, hospitals, AND insurance just to get answers and figure out what is covered vs. not covered regarding costs is beyond stressful and just makes a hard situation even harder. 

 

It sounds like you have the large brunt of this on your shoulders so here's an internet stranger here to remind you to try to take care of yourself as well. 

[laylalex 7,293]

Backing up what @beloved_dingo said.  You must take care not to run yourself ragged. It can be hard when we're caring for others to remember to prioritize our own health, both physical and mental. I know from your posts that you and your husband have a strong, mature bond -- lean on him, when you need it. He's there for you. 

 

Sending good thoughts to you and all of yours in this very hard time.

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

@yuna628

 

First of all, we're truly sorry you and your loved ones are all going through this. 

Even within a knit tight family, issues of this nature become such an overwhelming challenge; it leaves everyone feeling completely drained and basically lonely, as the emotions and struggles of each are so unique.

 

I could not agree more about these experiences feeling surreal, like being in the worst nightmare possible. It is as if all of a sudden you were extracted from your actual life and it is no longer your life anymore. It is so painful and confusing.

 

That's how we felt not long ago when my spouse lost his mother and I lost my father within four months. Without going into details, it was something we are still trying to recover from. 

 

The fact that on top of everything, in the US, healthcare is a business and for a family, dealing with any disease becomes a financial decision, makes it even more cruel than it already is. 

 

If you feel like talking, just to vent or distract yourself, please don't hesitate, and send me a message. 

 

We send you all the good vibes, best wishes and all the strength possible. 

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Sorry, Y ma'am.  Bad things happen to good people, sigh man.  Fortunately, there are many support groups, several of which will be available for immediate help, si Y ma'am.

 

A lightning-fast search yielded at least these Many (2+1) resources, see ma'am:

 

https://www.cancer.org/support-programs-and-services.html

 

https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/adjusting-to-cancer/support-groups

 

https://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/finding-social-support-and-information/support-groups

 

The first seems to be around-the-clock support, and we think that you should call them immediately, si Y ma'am.  They should have advice regarding how to notify each of your family members, si ma'am.

 

Let us know, si ma'am.  This is NOT something that you must or should have to bear alone, no ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Friday GS/ES report, see man:

 

We itineraried Many (2+1) ESs and a GS, none near the casa man.

On the way back, we found a second GS, serendipitous man.

 

One ES and the serendipitous GS yielded the take, see man:

  -- folding chair for back patio = $Many ($2+2), deal man

  -- 2 shirts, 1 pants, 1 underwear for Mini-B. = $Many ($2+1), deal man

Total = $Many ($2+2+2+1)

[TBoneTX 45,591]

2 hours ago, yuna628 said:

A small rant from me

In addition to contacting the support groups, heed BD ma'am, LL ma'am, and AAW ma'am, si Y ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thrilling Friday report, see man:

 

Wore knee brace while ES-ing, zero pain man.

Lunch was the $Many Meal Special at Arby's WUOC, financially savvy we man.

 

After we ministered to demanding miu, a restorative siesta was taken, zzz we man.

 

Mini-B. had indicated the desire to invite over a little amigo, sociable wee man.

Amigo could come in Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2) minutes after we returned from skool to casa, short time man.

We expertly prepared din-din in record time, proficient man.

Mini-B.'s was hamburger, lettuce, sliced tomato, ketchup, ingest wee man.

Ours was 2 hamburgers + double ketchup, ingest we man.

Din-din was prepared, consumed, and cleaned up after with plenty of time to spare, expert we man.

Mini-B. then enjoyed hour-plus with amigo, sociable wee man.

 

Movie night was In the Mind of a Miu on Netflix, watch with interest Two Guys man.

Miu herself was seen looking around the television trying to find source of miuing, sociable miu man.

Many (2+2) bowls of Costco popcorn* consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

     *2 bowls to go if we are to attain double figures this week, minimum quota man

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. sent aunt back to Ecu after a 2-week stay, sociable ex-she man.

Aunt always drives ex-Mrs.-T-B. aysheep, this time no exception man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. called to tell us that the Rojo was taking her camping** overnight, inform ex-she man we man.

     **"in this heat with the mosquitoes," quoth ex-she man

We nearly burst out laughing, go to an air-conditioned hotel why don't you man.

 

Plan to take Mini-B. to a railroad museum + function on Saturday, Two Guys expedition man.

 

Miu has brought a feather-roller to our vicinity and is attacking it, blatant miu man.

From tonight's movie, we conclude that miu wants Daddy to play with her, surmise we man.

We shall accommodate demonstrative miu shortly, service miu we man.

 

Party with the rubias begins thereafter, cavort we man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thrilling Saturday report, see man:

 

Took Mini-B. to a railroad museum's spring activity, Two Guys stuff man.

Mini-B. notably unimpressed at first, negative wee man.

Ignored genuinely interesting stuff, negative wee man.

However, he took phone foto of Morse Code symbols, breakthrough man.

He took phone foto of bedroom in a Pullman-type car, breakthrough man.

He climbed aboard the observer's perch on an old rail car, docent convinced him to man.

He wouldn't admit that at least a little of it was interesting, stubborn wee man man.

We were happy that the experience at least averaged out to Neutral, relieved we man.

 

From there came choice of lunch, always crucial to any guys man.

We found a Taco Bueno, first time for either of us man.

This was by design, because we had a coupon for it*, foolish to waste it man.

     *financially savvy we man

We and Mini-B. ingested identical full plates, filling and not bad at all man.

Mini-B. seemed satisfied on way back to casa, relieved we man.

 

At the casa, gave Mini-B. time to play Virtual Reality while we attempted a siesta, semi-zzz we man.

Then, played magnetic darts, Two Guys man.

Then, played computer chess, Two Guys man.

Then, played computer Monopoly, Two Guys man.

 

Din-din for Mini-B. was nuked rice + tuna, ingest wee man.

Din-din for us was onecan of "bean & bacon" soup**, ingest we man.

     **bought some time ago from supermarket's dent/closeout bin, financially savvy we man.

 

Movie night was the first 2 installments of "D.B. Cooper" on Netflix, watch Two Guys man.

Many (2+2) bowls of Costco popcorn consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

This made one Manyzen bowls for the week, double digits officially attained yet again man.

 

Finished Mini-B.'s mini-book, neat wrap-up to the week man.

Wee man now in major zzz, zzz wee man.

Miu banging around downstairs, soon to recruit Daddy man.

Party with the rubias thereafter, cavort uninhibitedly we man.

Edited May 7, 2023 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

Rainy day when everyone should have stayed in bed, zzz man.

Took Mini-B. to Mama T-B., overjoyed senior she man.

Did minor grocery run in the rain for Mama T-B., dutiful we man.

 

Lunch #1 was toucans of Chef B. ravioli, ingest #1 we man.

Lunch #2 was Mini-B.'s leftovers from the senior center's lunch, ingest #2 we man.

 

Laundry conquered, somehow not quite as traumatic as usual, traumatized we man.

Siesta finally taken, zzz we man.

 

Mini-B.'s din-din was onecan of S+Ms, ingest wee man.

 

Watched AFV with Mini-B. & ex-Mrs.-T-B., just like a real family man.

Afterward, batted around plastic ball with Mini-B. & ex-Mrs.-T-B., just like a real family man.

Recited "We're Two Guys!" with Mini-B., traditional bonding man.

Waved as ex-Mrs.-T-B. drove Mini-B. away, bye wee man.

Explained to questioning miu that Big Bruddah had to go, just Daddy and miu man.

 

Dished the warsher, mandatory Sunday man.

Party with the rubias begins shortly, cavort uninhibitedly we man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man.

-----

Thrilling Monday report, see man:

 

We went to Costco in search of one item, of course not there man.

Rather than leave empty-handed, we ordered a 'roni 'za, first from there in quite a while man.

 

Lunch was just over half of that 'roni 'za, ingest we man.

A siesta was enjoyed thereafter, zzz we man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. was tied up and had us retrieve Mini-B. from skool, retrieve wee man we man.

Mini-B. entered the T-B.-mobile with "Shhh, man!  Let's get going, si man!"

After doors were closed, we asked, "Why, huh man?"

Mini-B.:  "I don't want anyone to see that I have an old dad, no man!"

We (proudly):  "We appreciate your endorsement, si man."

 

Din-din was the rest of the 'roni 'za, ingest we man.

 

This is the first time in many years that we have consumed an entire Many-inch 'za in one day, si man.

However, back then, we consumed it in one sitting, professional ingestation man.

We do not look forward to the bathroom scale's lies tonight or tomorrow, no man.

 

The SWAT team is assembled in anticipation of our imminent party with the rubias, out-of-control we man.

[TBoneTX 45,591]

It is after midnight and therefore May Many'th (2x2x2 +1th), si man.

 

This is the Many'th (2x2x2 +2+1th) anniversary of having to euthanize Cat T-B. #1, still miss first miu man.

[Neonred 3,577]

5 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. was tied up

Her new boyfriend is kind of kinky??

[TBoneTX 45,591]

6 hours ago, Neonred said:

Her new boyfriend is kind of kinky??

Ex-her man's Rojo actually seems rather normal, decent dude man.

And fiancé, pay attention man.   

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. recently opened an office for her business, empresaria she man.

Finished painting on Sunday, breathe the fumes man.

New (used) furniture delivered yesterday, reason for our retrieval of Mini-B. man.

We offered her some miu-hair as a gift for her fur-niture, mandatory accessory man.  

-------

It is monsooning like an illegitimate male child, to continue all week man.

We must (again) go to Costco and then to Aldi, restock the larder man.

Should build an Ark, Noah doubt about that man.

[laylalex 7,293]

Today is the day I finally say goodbye to Santa Monica. Alex, my husband, has been in our new home for the last five days or so supervising the last bits of renovation and delivery of new furniture, and I've been staying with a friend in the interim. I told him I wasn't moving in until our new bed and crucially the new mattress arrived, and last night the latter arrived, a week late.

 

So onward to Encino! I moved to Santa Monica in January 2020, before the world turned upside down. Our lives here were nothing like what we expected -- we thought we'd have this great beachy lifestyle, going to all these cool restaurants and bars, etc. But of course COVID. And once life started opening up again, we found we wanted really different things than before. We are homebodies now, and what our home is like means so much more to us.

 

So we found a great house in a safe, still buzzy enough neighborhood, closer to my sister and parents. It is decidedly uncool, but as I teeter on the brink of my late 30s (birthday next Monday) I want very different things than when I was almost 35. I have made my peace with being who I am now, and if there's one blessing for Alex and me from the pandemic, it's that we've grown into our skin a bit more.