Save The Last Rants For Me

[TBoneTX 44,658]

3 hours ago, Neonred said:

in the Keys

If you ingest tropical birds while there, you will have consumed parrots-in-keys, note we man.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Friday ES report, see man:

 

We traveled over Many00 miles round-trip during this satisfying itinerary, si man.

Our route conveniently enabled gassing the thirsty T-B.-mobile at Costco, no line there man.

We hit all Many (2+2) ESs and a GS, hit we man.

All but the first stop (an ES) yielded the take, see man:

 

-- newish walker for Uncle T-B. = $Many ($2x2x2 +2), deal man

-- verrry low-mileage walker + hearing-aid batteries for Uncle T-B. = $Many-&-a-half 

        ($2x2x2 + half a buck), steal man

-- Many (2+1) shirts & 1 pants for Mini-B. = $Many ($2+2), OK man

-- full box Office Despot shredder-bags = $2, steal man

Total = $Many-&-a-half ($2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 + half a buck

Edited April 15, 2023 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Thrilling Friday non-ES/GS report, see man:

 

We managed to hit the road at half-past Many (2x2x2 +1) a.m., somewhat self-proud we man.

We returned at a little after Many (2+1) p.m., decent timing man.

 

Lunch was at a Chinese buffet in probably-second-favorite smallish town, always wanted to try it man.

Buffet nothing too special objectively, but OK for smallish town, conclude we man.

Owners obviously operating on the cheap, observe and approve in theory we man.

Disposable styrofoam plates and plasticware, and cheapest possible napkins, observe we man.

Only problem was no knives, plastic or otherwise man.

Beef/chicken pieces almost too big to stuff into one's mouth, challenge man.

We consumed Many (2+1) heaping plates of pepper steak & hibachi chicken, ingest we man.

Total cost incl. tax = under $Many ($2x2x2 +2+2+1), not bad man.

 

Visited Tractor Supply in same shopping center, thought of Ontarklar we man.

Got jug of miu-litter and toucans of miu-food, must wean miu off expensive stuff man.

 

Needed our watch battery replaced for nearly a month, delay we man.

Man in Tractor Supply parking lot recommended a pawn shop, never would've thought of that ourself man.

Old man in pawn shop did the job capably, pleased we man.

Price was $Many ($2+2+2), fair man.

 

Went to further small town, on way to Many'th ES man.

Shopped at local supermarket, always enjoy we man.

 

Many'th ES way out in boonies, tiny town we'd never heard of man.

Saw knockout older rubia browsing there, see knockout rubia we man.

We out-chickened from talking to her,  we man.

 

In fact, second ES featured not-bad (for a non-rubia) ES chica, match conversational wits with us she man.

Unfortunately, she left on an errand before we could continue acquaintaneship, sigh man.

However, we know this ES company, might cross trails again man.

 

At casa, gave treats to indignant miu inbetwixt carrying in our junk, must time these things man.

After toting second load, served miu her miu-lunch, mollify miu we man.

 

Tried to nap, attempt zzz we man.

Stupid phone rang twice, awaken us man.  

Got up and brushed demanding miu, brush miu we man.

 

Watched evening TV news while icing knee, The Iceman Watcheth man.

Miu sat in our lap during this, sociable miu man.

Had miu-hair all over our shirt afterward, occupational hazard of miu-ownership man.

 

Returned Mama T-B.'s phonings, call we senior she man.

Got lectured for over half an hour, occupational hazard for descendant of senior she man man.

Now biding time until the rubias appear, uninhibited partier we man.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Saturday GS/ES report, see man:

 

We itineraried one GS and 2 ESs, itinerary we man.

All our luck must have expired after yesterday, all of them duds man.

 

Arrived at the GS less than half an hour before posted closing, just made it we man.

Saw a potential item marked $Many ($2+1), see we man.

We offered $1, offer we man.

GS guy said, "No, man; $Many," good grief man.

 

Many (2+1) rants, see and grrrrr man:

1.  Sales occur at the price that the buyer wishes to pay, truth man.

2.  Is the point of a GS to try to get rich, or to get rid of all your stupid garbage, huh man?

Many. At the end of your GS, would you rather pocket a little money or have more junk to take back inside, huh man?

 

Total = $0

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Thrilling Saturday non-GS/ES report, see man:

 

At end of GS/ES route, shopped for Two Guys week at Aldi, most stuff gotten man.

(We hate the Aldi location where we stopped, rude employees man.)

Got remaining items at legacy supermarket, finish we man.

 

Hungry miu immediately lobbied for miu-lunch, unignorable miu man.

We mixed half a can of Whiskas Shreds with one of her Fancy Feast, hopefully train miu we man.

Miu ate around the shreds and merely up-lapped the juice,  and  man.

We don't know how we'll retrain miu, spoiled miu man.

 

Lunch (at 2 p.m.) was onecan of beef stew, ingest we man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. wanted to know if we could host Mini-B. tonight, ask ex-she man we man re wee man man*.

     *this is the most masterfully constructed half-sentence of all time,  man

Apparently a business client far away could meet her only on Sunday morning, explain ex-she man to we man man.

This would require ex-Mrs.-T-B. to stay at the Rojo's casa overnight, far closer man.

However, Mini-B. didn't want to overnight there, doesn't zzz well there attest wee man.

We therefore agreed to host Mini-B., unexpected Two Guys caucus man.

 

We met ex-Mrs.-T-B. at the new office that ex-she man just purchased, very proximal to clients man.

Ecu handyman hard at work there, renovate he man.

Mini-B. eager to go, wanted din-din and to play V.R. man.

The Rojo was also there, Rojo he man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. showed us the office, very large man.

Ex-she man plans to rent out 2 rooms in it, defray costs man.

(It will take a LOT of work, fortunately not our problem man.)

 

We greeted the Rojo and told him 2 things, instruct we he man:

  1.  The shortest sentence in the English language is "We are," truth man.

  2.  The longest "sentence" in the English language is "We do," matrimonial prison and hee hee hee man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. said that ex-she man would hit us up for more child support, pay off office building ex-she man.

We cheerfully said that she now had a Rojo to fund her escapades, ha ha hee hee man.

Apparently the Rojo is as poor as a dormouse too, or at least nothing extra man.

 

Mini-B. starving, underfed by ex-Mrs.-T-B. yet again man.

We stopped at Double Dave's for a carry-out 'za, good choice man.

The 'za met its doom in short order, ingest Two Guys man.

 

Movie night was The Mandalorian and one of The Twilight Zone, watch Two Guys man.

Many (2+2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

These will be credited toward the upcoming Two Guys Week's total, pad statistics we man.

 

Finally pried Mini-B. from his V.R., addicted wee man.

We shall attempt to down-bed him soonly, usually a challenge man.

When wee man zzz's, we shall tell the rubias to enter, party we man.

Edited April 16, 2023 by TBoneTX

[Neonred 3,514]

20 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. said that ex-she man would hit us up for more child support, pay off office building ex-she man.

 

The biggest scam in the divorce world, child support.  

How much of that money really gets spent for supporting the child.

 

In my case it was a HUGE windfall for my ex.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

3 hours ago, Neonred said:

How much of that money really gets spent for supporting the child.

Even before it affected us, we felt strongly that every penny of same should be accounted for, si man.  Abuse of it, or no accounting, si or no man?  No more CS, no man.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. retrieved Mini-B. noonishly, as promised man.

 

We then went to deliver the ES goodies to Uncle T-B., deliver we to senior he man.

Uncle T-B. was thrilled with the new walker, thrilled senior he man.

He was thrilled with the hearing-aid batteries, thrilled senior he man.

He was thrilled with the old-style* heating pad that we'd gotten from a years-ago ES, thrilled senior he man.

     *with no stoopid 2-hour automatic cutoff, infuriating man

He gave us some leftovers from the living center's lunch, rib meat green beans roll man.

 

We then went upstairs to "briefly" deliver something to Mama T-B., should've known better we man.

Mama T-B. lectured, yelled, and generally busted our chops for half an hour,  man.

It nearly blew our Sunday schedule, too,  we man.

 

Lunch was toucans of chicken noodle soup + Uncle T-B.'s leftovers, ingest we man.

The laundry load was warshered, fortunately the easy week man.

A shorter-than-desired siesta was taken, minimally zzz we man.

 

Baked the laundry load, able baker we man.

Prepared Mini-B.'s lunch sandwiches for the first Many (2+1) skooldays, prepare we man for wee man man.

Got Mini-B.'s skoolclothes for the week, arrange we man.

 

During this entire time, we were fending off indignant miu, indignant miu man.

Miu was indignant that we'd mixed half a can of Whiskas in with her Fancy Feast, indignant miu man.

We tried to reason with miu, forget that man.

We then ordered miu to comply, forget that man.

We then picked up miu and shoved her nose in her bowl, forget that man.

We don't know how to ensure that miu converts to cheaper diet without trauma to we or miu, no man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. brought Mini-B. Many (2+2+2) minutes late for the start of AFV, as usual man.

Mini-B. wanted to watch NBA playoffs, connect phone to TV wee man.

We acceded and thus lost one Many'rd of AFV, anathema man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. brokered a compromise, wee man watch game on phone while we & ex-she man watch AFV on TV man.

 

Mini-B. watched end of one game and first half of another, excited wee man.

We somehow managed to get him to bed on time, miracle man.

Mini-B. just asleep when Mama T-B. phones us to lecture us further,  man.

"If you would pick up your phone sooner, it wouldn't wake anybody up, si and no man," reasoned senior she man.  

We are consequently almost too hypertensive to cavort imminently with the rubias,  man.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man.

-----

Thrilling Monday report, see man:

 

Did not leave the casa except as Mini-B.'s skool chauffeur, ensconced we man.

 

Miu is mad at us for messing around with new miu-food, miffed miu man.

 

Lunch was one bowl of raisin bran, ingest we man.

 

Din-din was large beef pot pies, ingest Two Guys man.

 

Movie night involved 2 episodes of The Twilight Zone, watch Two Guys man.

Many (2+2) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

 

Mini-B. played V.R. on his Oculus, excited wee man.

We then played basketball, bond Two Guys and ow ow ow OW OW our body man.

Tonight, we shall continue with Mini-B.'s "Lone Ranger" book from the 1ManyMany0's, read Two Guys man.

After Mini-B. zzz's, uninhibited frolicking with the rubias, cavort we man.

[Ontarkie 14,133]

Mix food very little at a time and very slowly. I never had that problem with dogs  Mine will eat anything and everything. 

 

Now my two little baby tortoises are like your cat. I have to sneak in anything new to them or they won't eat it. They are scaredy cats to new stuff. I have to chop up new greens/weeds and sneak it in with their normal food. Eventually getting them on more weeds then store bought stuff.

Edited April 18, 2023 by Ontarkie

[TBoneTX 44,658]

13 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Mine will eat anything and everything. 

All dogs will do that, si D ma'am.

13 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

my two little baby tortoises are like your cat

Can they say "miu," huh D ma'am?  Thought not, so there man.

14 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

getting them on more weed

Is marijuana legal in Arkansas, huh D ma'am?!

And who needs stoned tortoises anyway, huh D ma'am?

Bad Ontarklar!  Bad, BAD Ontarklar!

[Ontarkie 14,133]

23 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

All dogs will do that, si D ma'am.

Can they say "miu," huh D ma'am?  Thought not, so there man.

Is marijuana legal in Arkansas, huh D ma'am?!

And who needs stoned tortoises anyway, huh D ma'am?

Bad Ontarklar!  Bad, BAD Ontarklar!

They don't smoke them they eat them!

[TBoneTX 44,658]

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

They don't smoke them they eat them!

Corrupting innocent tortoises, shocking man!  Reported, si man!!!

Bad abuse-tortoising Ontarklar!  Bad, BAD abuse-tortoising ABUSE-TORTOISING Ontarklar!

Edited April 19, 2023 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man:

 

Ran errands after off-dropping Mini-B. at skool, accomplish we man.

 

Lunch was onecan of Aldi S+Ms, ingest we man.

 

Mini-B. was upset yesterday because of perceived unfair treatment by a teechur, tearful wee man.

We wrote the teechur to find out what happened, supportive ascendant we man.

Teechur explained, and Mini-B. wasn't at fault, others in his group were man.

We gave teechur some talking-points, receptive teechur man.

Mini-B. in much better mood after skool today, relieved we man.

 

Din-din was nuked mixed vegetables and "honey garlic chicken" from Costco, ingest Two Guys man.

 

Mini-B. did his math hoamwurk without much beefing, diligent wee man.

Played basketball afterward, happy wee and ow ow ow OW OW we man.

Enjoyed respective pints of ice cream afterward, ingest Two Guys man.

 

Very happy that Mini-B. happier, happy we man.

Happy that teechur was responsive, responsive she man.

Now for uninhibited party with the rubias, cavort we man.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

Scintillating Wednesday repartee, yawn man.

-------

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man:

 

Finally finished bottle of Paul Mitchell shampoo bought nearly full at a long-ago ES for $1, financially savvy we man.

 

Lunch was onecan of beef stew, ingest we man.

 

Din-din was nuked corn + On-Cor chicken parmigiana patties, ingest Two Guys man.

After din-din, went with Mini-B. to supermarket in search of strawberry syrup, mission for wee man man.

 

Briefly played basketball with Mini-B., ballers we and wee man.

 

Movie night was Chupa on Netflix, excellent movie man.

Many (2+2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

This puts us into mid-double figures already for the week, successful Two Guys accomplishment man.

 

After Mini-B. is embedded, party with the rubias, cavort uninhibitedly we man.