Save The Last Rants For Me

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Negligent uncarded-yet-finally-communicative Asia!  Negligent uncarded-yet-finally-communicative, NEGLIGENT UNCARDED-YET-FINALLY-COMMUNICATIVE Asia!

[laylalex 7,284]

I am an aunt.

 

Baby Kai Daniel was born yesterday afternoon and he is perfect. My sister Rachel is doing great and we are absolutely thrilled as a family to welcome a new member! I get to meet him tomorrow. After going through so much as a family recently, on both sides of the Atlantic, Baby Kai is a balm. Welcome to the world, baby boy!

 

I will note that my nearly-a-brother-in-law refers to his new son as the Archduke Kai, because my sister does have some major empress vibes about her. 

 

 

 

 

[mam521 2,023]

14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Driving in Houston is a snap if certain principles are adhered to, si mam ma'am.

We shall present them herein for your and everyone's edification, see mam ma'am:

 

1.  Unless you intend to go Many mph over the posted speed, stay OUT of the left lane, si man.

2.  Learn to go all the way into the right lane to get back in the left lane, see #1 man.

Many.  Pull all the way up to the orange construction barrels before trying to merge, si man.

Many.  If anyone honks at you or cuts you off, shoot them immediately, si man.

Many.  If you honk at anyone or cut him off, you're justified, si man.

Many.  These groups of drivers should be banned from the roads, see man:

             -- immigrants, especially anyone in a Honda, Toyota, or Nissan man

             -- anyone driving a vehicle with more or fewer than many (2+2) tyres*, si man

                     *the only British spelling permitted in these forums, gor blimey man

             -- anyone with a Handicapped or Disabled-Veteran permit, si man

             -- anyone in a Ford Econoline or similar van, si man

             -- anyone who drives slower than Many (2x2x2x2x2x2) mph through a car warsh**, si man

                     **Texas spelling/pronunciation, si man

             -- student drivers, charge all of them with Felony Impeding or ban them altogether man

Many.  Bicyclists should be run off the road or (better) run over and flattened, quit impeding man.

Many.  The minimum speed limit within a Many-mile ([2x2x2x2x2x2]-mile) radius of any airport should be Many00 mph, si man.

 

All traffic cops should be required to drive glow-in-the-dark flashing-neon Yugos with Many (2x2x2+2) psi in each tyre and huge pink pinwheels extending Many (2+2+2) feet above each half-of-half panel, si man.  They should be uniformed in hot-pink tutus and have a maximum ticket quota of Zero for speeders and a minimum ticket quota of Infinity for impeders, si man.

 

The above are just a few of the rules for driving in Houston (and its 'burbs), We Have Spoken man.

I couldn't have summarized it better myself!  

 

My British husband complains to the ends of the earth about Toyota drivers...league of their own!  

 

On Maui in 2019, all of the rental cars seemed to be silver Nissan Sentras...steer clear of them!  Awful drivers!  

[Ontarkie 14,190]

13 hours ago, Asia said:

Oh gosh! I forgot to send a card!

 

Happy belayed birthday!

That is ok, you remember more then I do. 

Thanks

 

3 hours ago, laylalex said:

I am an aunt.

 

Baby Kai Daniel was born yesterday afternoon and he is perfect. My sister Rachel is doing great and we are absolutely thrilled as a family to welcome a new member! I get to meet him tomorrow. After going through so much as a family recently, on both sides of the Atlantic, Baby Kai is a balm. Welcome to the world, baby boy!

 

I will note that my nearly-a-brother-in-law refers to his new son as the Archduke Kai, because my sister does have some major empress vibes about her. 

 

 

 

 

Yay Congratulations 

 

14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Driving in Houston is a snap if certain principles are adhered to, si mam ma'am.

We shall present them herein for your and everyone's edification, see mam ma'am:

 

1.  Unless you intend to go Many mph over the posted speed, stay OUT of the left lane, si man.

2.  Learn to go all the way into the right lane to get back in the left lane, see #1 man.

Many.  Pull all the way up to the orange construction barrels before trying to merge, si man.

Many.  If anyone honks at you or cuts you off, shoot them immediately, si man.

Many.  If you honk at anyone or cut him off, you're justified, si man.

Many.  These groups of drivers should be banned from the roads, see man:

             -- immigrants, especially anyone in a Honda, Toyota, or Nissan man

             -- anyone driving a vehicle with more or fewer than many (2+2) tyres*, si man

                     *the only British spelling permitted in these forums, gor blimey man

             -- anyone with a Handicapped or Disabled-Veteran permit, si man

             -- anyone in a Ford Econoline or similar van, si man

             -- anyone who drives slower than Many (2x2x2x2x2x2) mph through a car warsh**, si man

                     **Texas spelling/pronunciation, si man

             -- student drivers, charge all of them with Felony Impeding or ban them altogether man

Many.  Bicyclists should be run off the road or (better) run over and flattened, quit impeding man.

Many.  The minimum speed limit within a Many-mile ([2x2x2x2x2x2]-mile) radius of any airport should be Many00 mph, si man.

 

All traffic cops should be required to drive glow-in-the-dark flashing-neon Yugos with Many (2x2x2+2) psi in each tyre and huge pink pinwheels extending Many (2+2+2) feet above each half-of-half panel, si man.  They should be uniformed in hot-pink tutus and have a maximum ticket quota of Zero for speeders and a minimum ticket quota of Infinity for impeders, si man.

 

The above are just a few of the rules for driving in Houston (and its 'burbs), We Have Spoken man.

The Hillbilly drives a Toyota 

[TBoneTX 45,006]

10 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

The Hillbilly drives a Toyota

Toyota pickup, huh man?

11 hours ago, mam521 said:

Toyota drivers

Those who are immigrants invariably come from a specific part of the globe, sigh man.

11 hours ago, mam521 said:

I couldn't have summarized it better myself!  

Oh, and we forgot, see mam ma'am:

 

Many.  When one drop of rain falls, all Vietnamese* immediately get in their Toyotas/Hondas/Nissans and drive no faster than Many (2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 + 1) mph on the interior highways, and always abreast, sigh and grrrr man.

     *identifiable from wearing masks while driving alone, and by the "I [heart] Vietnam" bumper-stickers, see man

[TBoneTX 45,006]

We updated our fast-food coupon stash tonight, financially savvy we man.

 

Rant, see man:  Why do most of these places issue coupons good only until the end of the current month, huh man?  We usually don't get them the first day of the month, and expiration dates are not always the Many'st; they are sometimes only the Many'th, grrrr man.

 

On the bright side, we have learned that Burger King (at least) operates by the coupon code, not the expiration date, si and no man.  Accordingly, coupons "expiring" in February may be good through March if  the code remains the same,  man.

 

You too can now save $Many by following this amazing advice from an unparalleled and financially savvy Business Typhoon, si man.   

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Thrilling Friday report, see man:

 

New back-medicine, at least on first use, not what it was cracked up to be, try again tonight man.

 

Miu intensely insistent on miu-breakfast, insistent miu man.

Miu then aysheep upstairs like a thundering beefalo, aysheep miu man.

 

Lunch was casa-made Costco chicken salad on the remaining two "everything" bagels, ingest we man.

We shall no longer use bagels for sandwiches, too holey an experience man.

 

We actually off-cleaned our desk at the POTS complex, complex job man.

We found stuff from the year 201Many on there, Sherlock Holmesian we man.

The number of spare fast-food napkins was enough to choke a small horse, bonanza man.

And we report that our desk's top is horizontal and a wood-like color, imagine that man.

 

Din-din was the Many (2+1) enchiladas + rice/beans/salad/cheaps at Mexican restaurant, ingest we man.

Place was surprisingly empty for a Friday eve, curious man.

From sitdown to leaving, only Many (2x2x2x2x2 -2-2) minutes, efficiency man.

 

Miu is lying by new litterbox, poised miu man.

She is waiting for it to go off again, suspicious miu man.

When it does, she shall enter for inspection and trigger it again,  man.

This will be the Many'th (2+2th) time tonight, at least man.

 

We have Many GSs/ESs itineraried for Saturday, long route man.

When we return, WCG (World's Cheapest Gringo) might meet up with us, caucus we with WCG man.

We remain in utter awe of WCG's cheapness, almost beyond words to describe man.

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Saturday GS/ES report, see man:

 

We had Many GSs and Many ESs itineraried, si man.

We awoke so late that we decided to run the route backward, all ESs there man.

These began an hour's drive away, trip-roading we man.

After those, we were so tired that we GPS'd but didn't head for any GS, see next report man.

 

Nevertheless, Many (2+1) of the Many (2+2)* ESs bore fruit, see the take man:

  -- 1st Herman Treasury = $Many ($2+1), OK man

  -- 2 full boxes Kleenex, can peas, 2 pillowcases = $2, steal man

  -- wooden napkin-holder (filled with napkins), Vidal Sassoon hairbrush, sealed bottle 

        chlorhexidine solution, 2 unexpired Manypacks flavored snack crackers = 

        $Many-&-a-half ($2+2+1 + half a buck), deal man

Total = $Many-&-a-half ($[2x2x2 +1] + half a buck)

 

*The Many'th ES had a wonderful, right-priced nightstand, but we might already have enough nightstands and we had no comfortable way of getting it to the casa from such a distance, si and no man

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Miu rant #1, see man:

 

Miu doesn't realize that we can't brush her when she's atop her miu-tower, no and no man.

Miu is then needy all the next day, needy miu man.

We have tried to explain this to miu over and over,  man.

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Miu rant #2, see man:

 

Miu visited litterbox, eliminatory miu man.

Miu has since been poised nearby, ready for it to trigger man.

When it doesn't trigger, miu climbs in to inspect why not, investigatory miu man.

New entrance resets the timer, of course man.

We have tried to explain this to miu over and over,  man.

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Thrilling Saturday report, see man:

 

Spotty rain but warm enough for short pants, Texas weather Many man.

Awoke so late that we resorted to caffeine pills instead of coffee, faster man.

Made good time to and at the ESs, at least there was that man.

 

Lunch was at an out-of-town Subway WUOC, financially savvy we man.

However, only one employee working, other didn't show up man.

Two vacillating Manyage girls in line tried to order for their entire family,  man.

Had notes on their phones that they couldn't interpret, modern education system man.

This took half an hour, frustrated everyone-except-vacillating-Manyage-girls man.

We were Many'rd in line after them, suffer we & guy ahead of us man.

Furthermore, air conditioning not on, sweat we man.

Finally got waited on, interminable wait man.

Idiot second employee showed up just in time to be of no help to us, man.

Customer line literally out the door by now, could barely edge our way to a table man.

Gulped and left, exhausted we man.

 

Several GSs on way casa-ward skipped, tired we man.

Stopped at Aldi, they had corn dogs   man.

At casa, dropped everything to serve miu-treats, demanding miu man.

Exhaustedly fridged/pantried stuff, dreary job man.

Just then, WCG (World's Cheapest Gringo) & Uncle WCG showed up, no down-time for us man.

 

Nice conversation while we strove to stay awake, wanted siesta desperately we man.

WCG & UWCG were first visitors to sit in large chairs bought at an ES a year ago, social we man.

 

Finally, WCG asked if we were hungry, not really but always we man.

WCG suggested nearby Chinese buffet, ulterior motive WCG man.

Caravan to buffet, we and WCG/UWCG man.

UWCG had Many (2+2) plates, Many (2+1) din-din and one dessert man.

We had Many (2+2+1) plates, Many (2+2) din-din and one dessert man.

WCG had Many (2+2+2) plates, mostly expensive seafood man.

 

We and WCG reaffirmed our unshakeable philosophy regarding buffets, see man:

  1.  Always eat more in the value of the food than what we're paying for it, si man; and

  2.  Stuff ourselves until we're about to be sick, si man.

 

WCG paid for all our buffets, exceptionally rare occurrence man.

 

After WCG/UWCG left, we strongly considered napping, exhausted we man.

However, we went out again, self-punish we man.

Got the March kids' projects at Home Despot, invite Mini-B./Cousin Mini-B. Sunday man.

Went to legacy supermarket, $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 + 2+2+2+1) on gift cards man.

Fridged/pantried all, dreary job man.

 

Napped like an illegitimate male child, zzz we man.

After late TV news, went to other legacy supermarket, remaining items man.

Fridged/pantried all, dreary job man.

 

Observed miu's interaction with litterbox, see Miu Rant #2 above man.

 

All this and we didn't get to lawn-mow, no man.

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Scintillating Sunday repartee, yawn man.

------

Thrilling Sunday report, see man:

 

Mowed front lawn, hot & windy man.

Used Many (2+1) sweatbands, skinnier ones man.

 

Took Mini-B. & Cousin Mini-B. to lunch at Subway*, ingest Many (2+1) Guys man.

      *WUOC, financially savvy we man

Afterwards, returned to casa to do February Home Despot kids' project, constructive we men.

Project was difficult and Mini-B. got tearfully frustrated, doggone it man.

Hated to end visit that way, drat man.

 

Napped for a glorious hour-plus, much-needed zzz man.

 

Single laundry load + ironing conquered, Thread Laundress report man.

Warsher dished and to be de-dished, domestic we man.

 

New episode of AFV watched, we/Mini-B./Ex-Mrs.-T-B. man.

Mini-B. had had din-din but requested canned SpaghettiOs + meatballs, traditional man.

No formal din-din for us, still gorged from Saturday's buffet with WCG we man.

 

Began new bedtime book with Mini-B., similar ones have neatly lasted one week man.

 

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. forgot to return Mini-B.'s skool shoes,  she man.

We hope that a different pair here will fit, good grief man.

[TBoneTX 45,006]

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man.

-------

Thrilling Monday report, see man:

 

Miu breakfasted well on disgusting soft glop, ingest miu man.

Mini-B. breakfasted well on 2 corn dogs, ingest wee man.

 

We had an important meeting at the POTS office, attend we man.

Finalize contracts to supply war-torn countries with POTSs, repel bullets/shrapnel man.

 

Then got text from Mini-B., communicate wee with we man.

"Dad, can you pick me up at skool, huh man?  I have a headache, ow man."

We left the signatures for later and rushed to get Mini-B., priorities man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. got there sooner, double-team wee man ex-she and we man.

Ex-Mrs.-T-B. medicated Mini-B. and told him to rest with no phone or media, tell wee man ex-she man.

 

We finalized POTS contract$ remotely, $avvy Bu$ine$$ Typhoon we man.

Lunch was Many (2x2x2x2) Costco meatballs nuked & halved, ingest we man.

Then napped for just under 2 hours, zzz we man.

 

Evening TV news was watched by us and a fluffy lap-miu, Occupy Daddy miu man.

 

Collected feel-bettering Mini-B. in time for din-din, ravenous wee man.

Din-din was nuked bagged mixed vegetables, ingest Two Guys man.

Din-din continued with 2/Many'rds of a bag of breaded chicken breast in honey mustard, ingest Two Guys man.

Unanimous agreement that this was a fine Two Guys din-din, agree unanimously Two Guys man.

 

Mini-B. actually asked for a shower, si man:  "I want to feel good for tomorrow, si man" man.

Read magazine pages, read we and wee man.

Book-reading delayed by miu dozing on bed, sin to awaken a sleeping miu man.

Miu now asleep in miu-tower, zzz miu man.

Mini-B. sound asleep in own bed, zzz wee man.

[Scottish Mernymph 512]

*walks into the forum like I'm walking onto a yacht

Hai everybody peepsies, anybody miss me? Sbin a time rightly nuffs....

Working two jobs has been keeping me busy & mostly out of trouble....mostly....other than that I'm still going through the kaleidroscopic rollercoaster of grief & all it's wonders....I keep trying to make my life not suck......hmneh.....I try to convince myself it doesn't....but it does, it sucks, it sucks great big donkey bawz & I hate it, no matter what I do.....but here I am, I just keep on going....I'm doing all the 'things'....I work, I eat, I meet up with friends, I even sleep(sometimes)....my work helps me connect with people & give them care & compassion(I'm working as a massage therapist during the day & I'm a CNA in a carehome-dementia unit on nightshift)......but truly I'm lonely as hell on a pogo stick, I miss my husband like crazy......

.....well this IS the rant thread ain't it?!!

Anyhoos, hope everyone here is doing well, thanks for this space to moan.

[Asia 2,496]

1 hour ago, Scottish Mernymph said:

*walks into the forum like I'm walking onto a yacht

Hai everybody peepsies, anybody miss me? Sbin a time rightly nuffs....

Working two jobs has been keeping me busy & mostly out of trouble....mostly....other than that I'm still going through the kaleidroscopic rollercoaster of grief & all it's wonders....I keep trying to make my life not suck......hmneh.....I try to convince myself it doesn't....but it does, it sucks, it sucks great big donkey bawz & I hate it, no matter what I do.....but here I am, I just keep on going....I'm doing all the 'things'....I work, I eat, I meet up with friends, I even sleep(sometimes)....my work helps me connect with people & give them care & compassion(I'm working as a massage therapist during the day & I'm a CNA in a carehome-dementia unit on nightshift)......but truly I'm lonely as hell on a pogo stick, I miss my husband like crazy......

.....well this IS the rant thread ain't it?!!

Anyhoos, hope everyone here is doing well, thanks for this space to moan.

BIG HUGS to you!